4 I Regret It Deeply Now

Michelle felt like hiding herself in a hole and never come out. So this handsome college tutor was Nikolas Tse's uncle. Now she saw the similarities in both of their tall and toned bodies and their pan-Asian looks. He had an air of authority about him too, just like Nikolas. But while Nikolas was all about piercing eyes and solemn expression, this sharply-dressed man was all about kind words and kind smiles.

When Mr. Tse smiled again at her questioningly, Michelle came back to herself. Red-faced, feeling a little bit like she was a child who had been caught doing bad things, Michelle explained honestly what had taken place. That it was she who confessed to Nikolas, and that her friend helped her edit the video and twisted the truth. Seeing that Mr. Tse was earnestly asking and made an effort to talk to her personally, there was no way she could brush him off with a lie. She was not that shameless.

"I did it to increase my popularity." Michelle ended her explanation. She was not afraid of admitting to what she had done, because she thought Nikolas and she could benefit from it. "I might have gone a bit far to twist the story, and it's unfair to him that I spread it around. But I think the both of us can benefit from it, so in the end it was a win-win situation. Right?"

"You might thought of it as nothing, just a bit of fun in the sun. But sometimes things are not that simple. Even the most harmless thing could end up hurting others." Marvin sighed. "How could you be sure it was a win-win? Did he ever told you that?"

"N-no... he had been avoiding me. I tried to approach him again afterwards, but he seemed to be able to sense my presence and ran away. So… Mr. Tse, you're saying I had hurt him somehow?" Now Michelle was worried that there were unforeseen consequences after the video went viral.

But he shook his head. "Not really, but I can't be sure since he did not show any visible reaction outwardly." Mr. Tse still looked worried though. He gazed away and continued.

"I don't know how much I could tell you about him without violating his rights to privacy. He… Nikolas was in a vulnerable state right now. Something happened in his family and his life as he knew it had suddenly turned into a nightmare. I think he lost his sense of self after bitterly struggling against... someone with authority over his life," the kind man sighed and smiled sadly at her.

"He was recovering, though, I'm sure of it. I believe attending college and studying business is his way of coping. Since he was doing well after a term, and it did not negatively affect his daily practice, I let him be. But at the same time I can't have anyone or anything mess with him. So here I am at this college just so I could watch over him without suffocating him. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"I think I do." Now Michelle knew she was guilty. Nikolas had some kind of dark history and trying to cope by attending college. Suddenly here she came, confessing to him out of nowhere, and creating a storm with him smack dab in the centre, just so she could have something interesting to post in her social media account. People were already dissing and making fun of him for being sore after rejected, while his fans defended him vehemently. Now the two sides were fighting it out in a social media war. Did Nikolas know about this war? Did Mr. Tse know?

"So it's okay if I ask you to leave him alone from now on?" the handsome man pinned her with a hopeful gaze.

Of course Michelle could only nod mutely in answer. The smile she get in return stunned her for quite a few seconds. When the conversation came to a stand still after that, Michelle felt that it was a shame. Mr.Tse was such an easy person to talk to, so she should keep the conversation going.

"Was that 'something' that happened in his family, occurred last year, and that's why he transferred out of his old school?" Michelle could only think of this topic to ask. It was quite the ticking-bomb question, and made her sound like a nosy person, but she could only think this far. Her brain function was somehow lagging.

"Oh, so you're aware of it? Yes, most of them had happened last year as school year started. So he was transferred around that time. You knew of him since back then?"

Michelle nodded. "He was transferred to my school and my class. But I didn't know much, since he was very uncommunicative. All he did at school was study. There were wild rumours about him then too, but he never paid them any mind. It was like he was in his own world."

Mr. Tse was quiet for a while. "I guess that's to be expected. I should've come back home sooner. But at the time I was too busy and too occupied with my year-long tour. I didn't have time to think about him or anyone else. I regret it deeply now." He sounded it too.

"So... what do you want me to do, Mr. Tse? Should I take down the clip? And admit to the truth to everyone about the confession?" Michelle still felt uneasy thinking that she could have done something bad to Nikolas. Maybe she could still reverse the situation.

"No, don't worry about that. I think it's too late anyway, and saying anything about it now would only make things worse. I came to talk to you only to find out the truth. Because I figured Nikolas confessing to someone was too out of character for him. This was just me watching out in case he gets worse, like getting self-destructive or befriending some people who tried to take advantage of him. I am relieved now knowing nothing like that happened." Mr. Tse said kindly.

"Uh." Now Michelle felt worse than guilty. It's time for her to formally apologise. "I am that someone who tried to take advantage of him. I had done a terrible thing to Nikolas and to your family. I am very, very sorry. I deeply regret it." Her apology sounded stilted and insincere to her ears. Michelle felt like she should get down on her knees and apologise again.

"Thank you. I accept your sincerity. But don't worry about it. I knew how frivolous young people could be. You're pretty and everyone paid a lot of attention to you, so you want to make something out of it, right? It's just a shame to let your beauty go to waste."

When he said it like that, she felt like she was a cheap girl peddling herself to everyone who gave her a glance. Michelle nodded in silence, feeling her face burn with shame. She could not raise her head to look at Mr. Tse in the eyes.

"I didn't mean to sound demeaning." He said, and laughed self-deprecatingly. "Now I'm the one who should apologise. I am sorry. I have been overseas for a long time, and my straightforward way of talking is really not suitable here. Maybe we should end our talk now before I put my other foot in my mouth. You understand this saying?" he laughed again at this. His quiet laughter sounded really pleasant.

Michelle shook her head as she laughed too, feeling curious about Mr. Tse even more. So he had been living and travelling overseas. And remembering the way he talked about his 'tour', Michelle surmised him as someone who had accomplished a lot. Yet he cared more about his nephew and came back to this place to watch over him. What an admirable guy. He was also very understanding and did not get angry at her for what she had done to said nephew. She felt very grateful for that. Maybe she should take his Beginner German Language to show her gratefulness?

Soon after, they said goodbye to each other as Mr. Tse seemed to eager to leave. It was like he said, he was a bit more straightforward than polite in this society, but there was nothing she could do to stop him. Michelle also had been hoping to snap a picture of him, just for posterity of course, but she was afraid he would misunderstand. How could he trust her when she had just admitted to using his nephew for her own gain? So she did not ask. It was a shame though.