CHAPTER ONE - in the middle of chaos

It was raining heavily and I saw allysa entering into the café, all soaked. laughing madly and singing. She sat next to me and started telling me about the recent incident when she and david fell on the road. David, her boyfriend was in hurry, so he went to his home and she came here to have our favourite browonie.

Me and allysa met in the same café, when we were teens and have been friends since then. We had a lot in common, favourite colours, food taste, music taste and most surprisingly , same taste of men. We used to bet on the same guy and test who gets him first, I used to win but then... anyways, we stopped playing this game.

After we had the brownie and deep analysis of david, that is what we do usually, psycho analysis of every breathing thing around, we went to allysa's place to decide the dress for tonight's party. It's at david's birthday party.

Allysa opened the door and went to kitchen, while I tried to open the bedroom door but something was stuck under it. Allysa saw me trumbling with the door, as I waited a few steps away, allysa opened the door with a strong blew and fell on the bed, which was basically her wardrobe at that moment. She tried finding the perfect dress and messed up her whole room, that is what she usually do.

I took the glass of water from her hands and sat aside on another pile of clothes. Thankfully, she had some options put aside, which reaches a number of twenty or thirty may be, but still better than hundred. I started checking the dress one by one, and again she has some problem with each of them. She wants to buy new as usually and is out of budget as always. The little money she had, spent on organising this birthday. We decided to go on my place to get her something from my wardrobe.

Allysa called the uber and we reached my place, still laughing, allysa finally found a dress that she wants to wear tonight, beautiful strapless dress in black. I bought it a long time ago, but never got a chance specially confidence. Anyways, Black suits allysa always. She is the queen of it.

Allysa and david have been together for an year now and david has become a good friend of mine as well. He is smart and most importantly he is a parcel that came without anger issues, which is rare now a days. Yes, basically that's why she is with hi for such a long time.i was inivited at this party as well, but I have been avoiding gatherings for a long time tsso so was thinking of missing this as well, but both allysa and david forced me to come.

After allysa took the dress, I applied hair mask and started meditation to prepare myself for socialisation, which is a big task for me now. Lockdowns proved a blessing for me and now that its over, I think I better get myself ready for this. After thirty minutes, I finally got myself up and took shower, that was obviously very detailed and time taking for me, shaving to save myself from the jokes of being like a man, masculine and hairy. Stop thinking about this anna. I told myself and got ready.

I took a deep breathe and rang the door, david opened with drink in his hand, welcomed me with a big smile and hug. He looked as handsome as he was, I gave him the gift that I bought for him and he took me to allysa pulling me through the crowd. Allysa was looking so hot in dark maroon lipstick and a lot f of highlighter, which we both love.

Our some old friends, were there as well, meeting them was so fun. We had drinks, and started talking about the old times. Fun we had together, bunks , food and nights we spend on roads singing. We all love singing. It's like singing our pains, sorrows and failures. When I broke up with the guy that I dated for the first time, I sat on the footpath near the door and sang for five hours un-interrupted. When I got diagnosed with PCOS, I didn't know what to do except singing. When me and marshall broke-up, I sang. Songs are our best friends, taking us through all the dark times to the era of good times, but now, It looks like good times are no longer available for me, may be I have used all.

While we were talking about the old things, Sania, our school friend brought the question of marshall up and started asking about the reason of our breakup. Allysa stopped her and all of a sudden, this all became a huge fight. I knew, Iam going to mess it up. I got panicked and ran outside, took an uber and went straight home. Locked the room, threw shoes away and myself on the bed. I am no longer used to of crying, it looks like there are no more tears that my glands can make. They have even refused to work for me.

I messed up david's birthday, I messed up allysa's night, I messed it all up.

I took sleeping pills, turned off light and tried to sleep.