Here, there be Monsters

With Yoruichi returning early the next morning, having located Kukaku's residence overnight, Ohta and the rest eventually found themselves in a forest clearing, staring at what looked like a Japanese-style storage shed with a massive chimney. More notably, a pair of statues resembling giant arms flanked both sides of the house, holding up a red banner bearing the Kanji for 'Shiba Kukaku.'

"Who the hell decorates their house like this?" asked Ichigo. "Talk about poor taste..."

"I think it looks kind of cool," supplanted Orihime. "Very manly."

"Don't let Kukaku hear you say that," said Yoruichi, snorting as she added, "Kukaku is one of the most hedonistic, temperamental, and violent women you'll ever have the displeasure of meeting. Say or do something to annoy her, and, man or woman, you're guaranteed to take a beating."

Directing her gaze to Ohta, though her words were directed at the entire group, Yoruichi added, "If you're smart, you'll leave the talking to me and heed any instructions she might give you without a fuss. Do that, and we'll be within the Seireitei before you know it..."

"We get it. Can we just go already?" asked Ichigo, taking the initiative to lead the way. Before he could get more than six steps, however, Yoruichi

appeared atop his head, pushing down with her paws to make him crash face-first into the ground as she said, "You're really starting to get on my nerves, boy...!"

As he wasn't really injured by Yoruichi's attack, Ichigo bounced back to his feet, exclaiming, "What the heck was that for!? And how the hell can a cat be so strong...!?"

Snorting disdainfully, Yoruichi ignored Ichigo's questions and made her way toward the strange structure, prompting two nearly identical men to appear, emerging from behind muscular arm statues. Both had Mongolian features, stood around 218cm tall, and had bulky frames. They also wore matching outfits, albeit with different color palettes, consisting of red hats with white tassels protruding from the top, baby-blue sailor bandannas, gown-like robes that made them look like martial arts, pants, and sandals.

"Welcome, Master Yoruichi...!" exclaimed the men, practically prostrating themselves before the black cat.

"I have returned, Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko," replied Yoruichi. "And these four behind me are the guests I mentioned previously. Inform your Master of our arrival."

"At once," replied both men, rising in concert with one another before pushing open the doors to the shed-like house. Instead of opening to a small room, however, the entrance led down a long, steep flight of stairs, descending more than forty meters to what Ohta and the others would discover to be a large, Japanese-style manor complex.

"Wow, this place is incredible~!" exclaimed Orihime, eyes wide as she marveled at the sight.

Caressing his split chin, the muscular man that had led the group into the depths of the manor, gave a curt nod as he remarked, "Your servant has impeccable tastes, Master Yoruichi."

"Now, now, I already told you they were my companions," replied Yoruichi, albeit with an amused glimmer in her eye.

"Ah, my apologies," said the man, bowing his head slightly before raising it to say, "I will now announce your presence."

Tapping the frame of the sliding bamboo door at his back, the burly man bellowed, "Lady Kukaku, Master Yoruichi and four others have arrived...!"

"Let them in," came a lazy-sounding voice from the inside, notably husky but distinctly feminine.

"As you will," replied the man, sliding open the door to reveal a youthful, remarkably busty woman of average height. She had dark green eyes and wore bandages over long messy hair that reached the small of her back, a white skirt with a long slit down the right side, and a provocative red robe that seemed to be designed to emphasize her ample bosom intentionally. However, as eye-catching as her tits were, her most prominent features were her missing right arm and the fully functional prosthetic she wore in its place, resembling a mechanical doll's arm.

"Which one of you is Yamada Ohta," asked Kukaku, her eyes meeting with the person in question as she took a drag from a long, Japanse-style pipe that appeared to be packed with a mixture of opium and other 'medicinal' herbs based on the smell.

"Your curiosity can wait for later," said Yoruichi. "Have you completed the preparations...?"

"We just talked earlier this morning," replied Kukaku, taking another long drag from her pipe before adding, "You can launch in ten hours, assuming these brats can form the cannonball properly."

Hearing Kukaku's words, Ichigo questioned, "Cannonball? Wait...don't tell me that massive chimney was a cannon this entire time...!?"

"Don't make me muzzle you, boy!" shouted Yoruichi, subsequently hissing to get Ichigo to shut up.

Exhaling a throaty chuckle, Kukaku adopted a toothy grin and said, "Make it fifteen."

"Make it eight," interjected Ohta, his brows furrowing as invisible pressure began to release from his body.

"Twenty," countered Kukaku, undaunted by the slight rumble starting to affect the room.

"Ten," said Yoruichi, a serious look on her feline face as she stared intently into Kukaku's eyes.

Clicking her tongue, Kukaku replied, "Fine. Since this is a favor for Kisuke, I'll stop joking around. But, before we get started, there's someone I want to introduce you to."

Rising to her feet, Kukaku made her way over to a sliding door at the side of the room, calling out, "You ready?"

"Yes, Sis..." replied the voice of a man, husky like Kukaku's but markedly less feminine.

As Kukaku opened the door, a muscular man with chin-length black hair bowed his head low, exclaiming, "It is a pleasure to meet you! My name is Shiba Ganju...!"

Nodding her head, Kukaku said, "Good job." before shifting her gaze to Yoruichi and the rest of the group, stating, "I trust you, Yoruichi, but these brats are another matter entirely. I'm afraid they'll fuck things up, so I'm sending my baby brother to supervise. Make sure he gets back to me, you hear...?"

Exhaling a light chuckle, Yoruichi replied, "Very well, Kukaku. However, I have enough on my plate babysitting this lot. If he's incapable of caring for himself, I suggest he stays behind."

"Eh, don't worry," assured Kukaku. "This big oaf might have stones for brains, but he has good survival instincts. As long as you don't go rushing willy-nilly into a group of Captains, he'll be fine."

"Very well," replied Yoruichi, directing her gaze to Ganju as she said, "Your sister isn't quick to compliment others. As such, I have high expectations for you, Shiba Ganju."

"Yes, I will do my best!" exclaimed Ganju, bowing his head until it nearly touched the floor.

"You better," said Kukaku, shifting her gaze to Ohta and the rest, focusing on the former as she said, "Anyways, grab your things and follow me. I'll show you what we'll be using to smash your way into the Seireitei. What you do from there is up to you."

As Kukaku was staring at him, Ohta narrowed his eyes and replied, "Lead the way." in a curt, resolute tone. The inordinately buxom woman grinned almost menacingly in response, but instead of saying or doing anything to provoke him, she responded with an equally curt, "Good answer." before leading the group deeper underground, through a well-lit corridor and to a room covered in red warning labels.

"Open the door, Ganju," ordered Kukaku, prompting her much larger but younger brother to respond, "Yes, Ma'am...!" before quickly doing as she instructed.

Pushing open the doors, Ganju revealed a massive, darkened room whose dimensions were at least forty meters cubed. The far side of the room had what looked like an enormous cylindrical monolith but was actually a giant fireworks launcher based on Kukaku shouting, "Feast your eyes, kiddies. This big beauty is the Kakaku Taiho(Flower Crane Cannon), the greatest masterpiece of myself, Shiba Kukaku, Soul Society's foremost fireworks expert...!"

"Fireworks...?" parroted Ichigo, a look of disbelief on his face.

"That's right," replied Kukaku, grinning as she directed her gaze to the roof above and shouted, "Koganehiko, Shiroganehiko, raise it now!" in a booming voice that pierced the ceiling and reached the surface above ground.

In response to Kukaku's shout, the chamber began to tremble, shaking violently as the floor rose like a colossal elevator. At the same time, the ceiling above parted like the roof of a stadium, permitting the enormous launcher to pass through until the floor eventually became level with the ground outside.

While everyone else was recovering from the shock of being transported to the surface, Kukaku raised her left hand, materializing what looked like a crystal ball with a red crane insignia inside, saying, "Think fast, kid!" as she tossed it to Ohta.

Catching the sphere effortlessly with his left hand, Ohta asked, "And this is...?" in a flat tone.

"It's called a Reishukaku," replied Kukaku. "It's what will enable you to break through the barrier surrounding the Seireitei. Now, go ahead and channel your spirit energy into it."

Holding the sphere at chest level, Ohta earned a moderately impressed look from Kukaku as the interior immediately glowed a vibrant shade of bluish-white, followed by a transparent, bubble-like barrier materializing around him.

"Wow, Yoruichi wasn't exaggerating when she said you were a monster," remarked Kukaku. "Unless they're Kido experts, even most Captains don't possess that level of spiritual control."

"Hey, let me try," said Ichigo, knocking on the thin but incredibly durable barrier surrounding Ohta.

"Go for it," replied Ohta, retracting his spirit energy from the Reishukaku and tossing it to Ichigo.

"Hnnnnnnngh...!"

With an expression that looked like he was about to shit himself, Ichigo used both hands to squeeze the Reishukaku, failing to get it to so much as emit a faint glow despite groaning loudly.

"What are you doing...?" asked Ohta, his expression morphing into a half-lidded deadpan.

Ceasing his exertions, Ichigo frowned and retorted, "You tell me. How do you even insert your spirit energy into something...?"

"..."

Shifting his gaze to Yoruichi, Ohta asked, 'What the actual fuck...?' with his eyes alone.

"Don't look at me," said Yoruichi, excusing, "Kisuke is the one who trained him. I was responsible for these two," while looking to Orihime and Chad.

"Oh, oh, can I try?" asked Orihime. Ichigo seemed reluctant to part with it at first, but he eventually tossed it over, emulating Ohta's "Go for it..." in a neutral tone.

Holding the sphere fairly casually, as if she were cradling it in her hands, Orihime issued a cutesy "Haaawum...!" as the interior of the Reishukaku lit up. When a transparent bubble formed a few seconds later, Ichigo's right brow twitched. It hadn't even been three weeks since Orihime gained her power, but her control drastically exceeded his own.

"I did it~!" chimed Orihime, initially looking at Ichigo with a smile before promptly shifting her gaze to Ohta when she noticed how aggravated the former looked.

"Ehehehe~"

Raising his brows, Ohta asked, "What, do you want me to praise you...?" before exhaling a faint, scoffing chuckle when Orihime's eyes glistened in expectation.

"Fine, good job," said Ohta, looking away from Orihime's beaming smile to address Kukaku, asking, "So, all we need to do is channel our spirit energy into this, and we can break the barrier around the Seireitei?"

Thumbing to the launcher behind her, Kukaku responded, "If it were that simple, someone like you could simply crash through on foot. You'll need the veil of protective energy condensed by my Kakaku Taiho to crack the barrier without being destroyed on contact."

Though he was tempted to fly off and confirm things for himself, Ohta responded with a flat "Understood." before crossing his arms and asking, "What should we do in the meantime?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Kukaku replied, "Well, you and the orange tart can do whatever you like. These three will need to head underground to practice forming the cannonball. Everyone riding within the Reishukaku needs to channel their spirit energy into it or it will become unstable and explode, scattering you in every direction."

Directing her gaze at Ichigo, Kukaku added, "You, especially, need to get your shit together. What kind of Shinigami, Substitute or otherwise, can't control their spirit energy?"

Furrowing his brows, Ichigo looked like he wanted to defend himself but ultimately just flexed the muscles of his jaw. Fortunately for him, Yoruichi chimed in to say, "The issue is that he possesses 'too much' spirit energy. Attempting to control it is like trying to do calligraphy with a tremendous weight attached to the tail of your brush. Given a few hours, I'm certain he'll be able to utilize the Reishukaku effectively."

Surprised that Yoruichi had taken his side, a gratified smile developed across Ichigo's face. Unfortunately, before he could feel truly thankful, Yoruichi added, "If he can't, well, we'll have no choice but to leave him behind and let him catch up later..."

(Awwww, man. Even a freakin' cat is doubting me...") groaned Ichigo, albeit within his mind. At the same time, his usually black eyes emitted a faint, silverly-blue glow as he glowered at the Reishukaku, determined to master its usage before the deadline...

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..

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(A/N: Ichigo was a bit of a comic relief character near the start of Bleach xD...)