36 He really wished he had taken a different route

Amaka Nwafor bent her head and studied the innate pattern of the carpet in the Coker residence. Big Mommy had hugged and kissed her to the point of no return when they first got in the door and now she hoped by maintaining this posture she could ward of anymore "Ese o" (thank you), from her. Because she didn't do anything, she was not the one that brought Femi home. He showed up out of his own free will, just like he left out of his own free will. She thought of Ikenna in Kano with Nabsy and Jay, having a blast. Playing polo and dancing. She imagined Ikenna buying milk from a calabash

"My dear what is so amusing?" Kunle Coker asked

Amaka didn't realise she had been smiling "It's what Femi said"

"About being deported?" Femi asked

"It doesn't matter how he got here. He is here" Lade said with a voice raspy from overuse. She smiled admiringly at her son, and patted his back. Then looked at Amaka like she had cured cancer before fixing her gaze on her husband, with a "do you believe it" stare

Amaka wanted the silence that the Coker residence usually afforded her, so she could think. The past few days had been turmoil for her emotions, she had not called Ikenna because she had not yet processed this all. What she did know was she had to lead her children through this; although she needn't worry because Femi was winning them over with funny stories from America and generally letting them have whatever they wanted. He suggested moving in, but Amaka squashed that plan before it even smelt the light of day. She could not have disruption to the children's routine, instead they would spend the weekend with the Cokers' and Femi could bond there. Most importantly, it was a two bedroom house; Femi was not sharing her bed.

The thought that if officials had not caught on to Femi's immigration status, she would not have seen him for a while yet, remained at the back of her mind. She and the children were not his first choice. However, in true Femi style he made the best of the situation and everyone was reliant on his company. It was his gift, making you need him so much that the thought of his absence from your life would tear a hole in your heart. She knew, she had been there and she watched as her children threw around 'daddy' phrases. No longer a memory or an old picture, but a living thing that could smile back and hug them. Laughter brought Amaka back to the present and Lade was piling Femi with photo albums, it was labelled 'What Femi Missed' she had been preparing for this day. Amaka had never prayed for a weekend to be over till now, the rush of the school run beckoned to her.

The engagement party was in full swing; all the Emirs had arrived in zealous fanfare with big trumpeted entrances. Governors towed in large entourages and Ministers vied for Kaka's attention. Normal folk enjoyed the abundance of food and drink present, Ibrahim was on hand to help ambitious riders onto horses and lead them around the compound. Rabi knelt before many dignitaries, her ivory adornments clacking with each hennaed step she made. Nabila recalling her emerald circus of a wedding did not envy her and was at hand with sympathetic smiles as her sister had been five years ago. Several women placed their hands on her belly to pray for her baby, reciting surahs from the Qur'an of prosperity and beauty. Nabila relished in that and agreed that pregnancy suited her; she basked in her glow occasionally flinching when the child kicked. They all advised her on what foods to avoid, each with their own remedy to cure dizziness, and fatigue. She was on her eighth glass of delicious zobo when she noticed Jamal staring -no glaring- at her. Nabila raised a quizzical brow, what had she done this time?

"Everyone keeps congratulating me"

"What would you rather they do Jamal?"

"Congratulate you. After all it's your child"

Nabila nodded; it was about time his jibes made an appearance. He brushed past her and walked away, a few feet later he stopped and asked if she wanted anything from the fruits section of the food tent. Nabila assumed Kaka was within eye line

"Mangoes Jamal nagode- thank you" she smiled into her glass

Kaka waved away his elaborate greeting and putting an arm around Nabila's expanding middle informed her Alhaji Tukur was present, with his two eldest sons, Umar and Usman.

They found Rabi's future husband in the most secluded tent. Perched high on the grassy lawn, lamps lit the inside and armed guards stood in front looking menacing. Sat on purple and burgundy cushions, Alhaji Tukur conversed with Baba laughing loudly. They were discussing his army days, where he rose to the rank of Colonel. Gidado Tukur was loud and brash and had the knack for interrupting your story with a tale of his own. He used his hands when he spoke, making wide expansive gestures that seemed to span the width of the tent, he spotted Nabila and congratulated her on being pregnant. His two sons followed suit before returning to their private discussion.

She liked him enough as an eccentric uncle who spoilt her and her sister with chocolate when they were little. She remembered him pinning his medals and awards on her Laura Ashley dress. Rabi was allowed to hold his gun once. Nabila did not like that she had such memories of her soon to be brother-in-law, it felt intrusive, like she shared him with his wife, her sister. If she felt this way she could only imagine how his sons felt; decades ago they refused to let the Bello sisters play football with them. Nabila was pretty certain Usman had a crush on Rabi because he always threw sand in her hair, and now she was to marry his father. It was wrong. Both sons were in their thirties and already married but it would still have been better in Nabila's eyes if Rabi was engaged to either of them. Baba helped Nabila sit down and she passed the remainder of her evening listening to stories from the barracks.

Rabi Bello sneaked a cigarette by the swimming pool. The crowd had gravitated to the fire breathers at the other side of the hill, so she could enjoy some quiet. Apart from a few snippets of conversation as guests walked by, barefooted, drink in hand, it was vacant space. She inhaled deeply on her first drag savouring the nicotine and trying desperately to keep ash away from her white silk and chiffon dress.

"You have no idea how funny you look" Jamal chuckled

"Not now" Rabi sighed. All she wanted was one moment to herself in this madhouse

Jamal raised his hands up "I came here to escape too," he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. They both stood in the moonlight, by the rectangular blue water, puffing out smoke.

"You look very beautiful" Jamal said

Rabi feared to look down with a stick between her lips but she nodded her head, causing the gold combs in it to rattle. "I feel like a circus act, every time I move something makes a noise"

"You are the most beautiful circus act I've ever seen"

"Jamal don't start"

"I wasn't going to. I just really wish you weren't getting married"

Rabi's name was called out by the servants; her mother was summoning her to be presented to the guests alongside her husband. Rabi didn't even know he was here. She took one last long drag before putting out the light with Oscar de la Renta satin bow shoes.

"Didn't last long enough" Rabi adjusted her headgear, repaired her veil.

"We could meet again later tonight"

"A date?" Rabi laughed; pulling out a mint sweet she crushed it with her teeth

"No. A cigarette break. If you want"

Her name was screamed again. She turned around shouting "Ku ce mata ga ni nan zuwa- Tell her I'm coming"

"See you later" she whispered to Jamal

And she did. After the activities had wound down to an end, Rabi walked to the pool area to find Jamal already puffing away. Without a word he handed her his pack and they smoked in silence, staring at the water, the sky, anywhere but each other's face. For some reason the awkwardness was comforting, a break from arguing and begging, it was tranquil.

"I love you"

Rabi stared at Jamal through a haze of smoke, he sat next to her. "If I am not allowed to tell you that what you are doing is a mistake and will make absolutely no difference at all. I will tell you that I love you. I will always tell you that"

"Okay" Rabi shrugged

"Do you love me?"

"I'm not playing this game"

"Why not?"

"What difference will it make?"

"I have never heard you say it"

"I tell you a lot of things"

"Love has never been one of them. I want to hear you say it. So I know I'm not the only one that hurts"

"Why do you think I'm doing this Jamal?"

"Because you love Nabila. Not because you love me. I want you to say it Rabi"

"Well tough luck"

Jamal chuckled, resting his head on her shoulder for a brief moment. "You are seriously going to hold out on me? After giving me the most incredible months of my life, I can't have this one thing"

"No" Rabi laughed

Jamal shook his head and lit another cigarette.

Baba sighed. He really wished he had taken a different route on returning to the courtyard...