37 Emotions!!!

Jamal Mujahid was no longer the most important person in his house. This position had been taken over by someone who was not even born yet. Everywhere he looked there were presents for this child. Invading his lavishly decorated three bedroom house; next to leather sofas and silk curtains, beside expensive electronics and laid atop French furniture. Most of the gifts came from Kaka, excited to be a great grandmother; the rest from business associates, friends, well wishers and neighbours. If Jamal saw one more Fisher Price box, another Mothercare catalogue or 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' book he would burn the house down.

Jamal was not threatened, merely peeved at not being the centre of attention. It used to be people hung on his every word, stared at his face, and cheered at his achievements. Now it was all about Nabila. How she was feeling, what she was thinking, drinking, sleeping, craving, foods she ate, how much...The only time he was even looked at during these conversations was when he was asked questions he did not know the answer to: the due date, sex of the child and what method Nabila chose to deliver it in. Method? He thought there was only one: pushing. But oh no, there was a whole variety of birthing he was introduced to; Water bath, Lamaze, Caesarean. His vocabulary now included new words like antenatal and epidurals.

It was bad enough he did not love his wife anymore. But now with her bloated stomach, weak bladder, waddle walk and all, remaining calm had turned into a true test of his character. All Jamal wanted was his spotlight back; hadn't this pregnancy caused enough trouble for him already? The love of his life, Rabi, was all this child was taking away from him. Eagerly he awaited the birth, so he could finally leave this toxin of a marriage and begin life anew.

He heard Nabila scream. Jamal rose quickly and half-ran out of the guest bedroom, pulling on a shirt and mentally picturing where last placed the car keys. He nearly tripped on the stairs in his haste. What met his eyes on the landing was not a bloodied mess; in fact Nabila did not seem to be in any pain at all. She stood quite capably at the door clutching her chest at the sight of something, someone...

"Jesus Nabila, you have let yourself go. Pregnancy is no excuse"

Nabila hissed and gritted her teeth. Curious Jamal pushed her aside; his eyes were given a sight not seen in nearly a decade.

"Femi you bastard" he strongly embraced his old friend.

"Is this how you were raised to just show? Not even a heads up." Jamal punched him still in shock

"And miss the look on your girly face? Never man" Femi laughed his easy laugh. The last time Jamal heard it, he and Femi were in their twenties, parading around Manchester with huge chips on their shoulders and very smitten girlfriends on their arms. It wasn't 2002 anymore.

Jamal shook his head and strongly embraced Femi again. Allah, how time flies

"Its Femi" he explained to Nabila, maybe pregnancy was messing with her memory

"I'm not fat" she responded walking away

"Guy no vex" Jamal apologised

"It's Nabila. What else did I expect" Femi shrugged. "She's on her way to call Amaka isn't she?"

"Yep"

"So you have time to fill me in" Femi said in a conspiratorial whisper

"Kai you first. Did you strike gold in Yankee?"

"My guy, that one na long tory" Femi said strolling to the blue sofa and making himself comfortable.

Amaka Nwafor had not been sleeping. She spent the night wandering around the apartment, doubling the locks and checking in on the children repeatedly. In the mornings she was irritable, and snappy, but when night arrived, she did it again. Amaka missed him, really missed him. She wanted uncompleted sentences and naughty winks and a reason to wear red. She also wanted a chance to enjoy the ache of separation without Femi looming over her head, reminding her by his mere presence and relationship with the kids that they were bound for life. The things he seemed allergic to before he left, he was now eager to be a part of. Femi had watched every home video of the children, looked at every drawing ever coloured, he recited night prayers with them, played football, subjected himself to Disney sing-along-songs. Not once did her heart lurch. Amaka did not think she would ever be the sort of mother to place her wants and needs before that of her children, but here she was wishing Femi would just disappear.

It was the weekend, which meant the children were at the Cokers. Amaka shut her eyes and forced them to stay that way. This was the perfect opportunity to catch up on lost hours of shut eye, distractingly enough it also afforded the perfect opportunity to think about him without fear of interruption. No guilt trip awaited her if she reminisced on those soft lips and strong arms. She could lean back and smile because the tingle from when he kissed her was still there, hear him whisper in her ear, his voice like dark chocolate

The phone rang jerking her eyelids open. Not now, she had to have this. Where was she? Ah, coffee frothed tenor, trailing from her neck to her mouth then the kiss, wet and soft and so sincere...her phone rang again.

Amaka answered

"He's in my house right now." Nabila sounded upset. Amaka could guess why

"Femi got back last week. Two nights before Kano"

"What about Ikenna?" Nabila got right to it, no beating about the bush.

"I don't know"

"What do you mean you don't know? You always know"

"Nabila, what do you want me to say?"

"Say you will at least think about it. Sensibly" she stretched the last word

"That is all I've been doing"

"Why is he here anyway? Why now?"

"He got deported"

"Why am I not surprised" Nabila hissed

Amaka sighed; she was too tired to fight Nabsy on this

"Nabila..."

"I have to go see Baba first. But as soon as I'm done I am coming straight over okay." There was no room for negotiation. Amaka flipped her phone shut and got up to prepare something for the fiery Hausa woman who now ate for two.

Nabila Mujahid hung up and placed a hand on her tummy. She hissed at the sound of loud laughter- male bonding laughter- coming from the living room. Femi grated her nerves to no end, and if he made Amaka who was finally happy, leave Ikenna... she couldn't even think about it. One thing was for sure, waltzing back here after so long was not acceptable. She had to make her friend see that before she went all gaga again. This was not 2002.

"I have so much to teach you about love, little one" she said to her baby. "For one thing, stay away from men like Femi Coker" she warned her baby. Before realising she did not know if she was talking to a girl or a boy. Although, her second trimester was coming to an end Nabila chose not to discover the sex of the child. It will be a blessing to her either way so she preferred to keep the secret close to her heart. Frustrating Mama who complained at the sight of green and brown baby outfits which filled the nursery.

"The child needs something blue or pink" Mama scolded, "it is what is appropriate"

Nabila left both men to their devices, grabbing her car keys from the silver tray by the door. Neither of them saw her leave, too engrossed in high fives and "my guy" shoutings. Driving out her gate Nabila took off in the direction of her childhood home. Baba had left her messages that she come around for a talk. The urgency in his voice was unusual, it worried her. She arrived and found Baba in the front room, examining a black and white picture of his daughters. Rabi was laughing so hard her head was nearly out of shot, hair in a curly afro; Nabila as usual had a more serious look for the camera and her hair was in neat pigtails, just as she liked it. The gold 12 x 16 frame had been hanging on that wall for so long she did not remember when last she paid it any attention. Baba on the other hand, stared like he was seeing it for the first time

"Baba" she smiled into his beard as they hugged

"You girls grow up so fast" his tone was solemn and directed at the picture. Nabila shook her head; she obviously caught him in a rare moment of reflection.

"Ya hanya- how was the road?" he asked resting his chin on her head

"Alhamdulillah"

Oda walked in with a jug of zobo and a side dish of kuli-kuli. "Six ice cubes ko?" she asked laying the tray gently down on the table

Nabila didn't answer because Oda had known her since childhood; she knew how she liked her zobo. "What is going on?" she asked her, only to be answered with a sigh and a pitiful glance

Baba dismissed Oda and sat down in front of Nabila. He rested elbows on his laps, long fingers drumming on his knees

"Baba, has something happened?"

"Are you happy?"

"What?"

"Tell me Nabu. Are you?"

"Yes. Of course I am. Don't I look it?"

"I just don't want anything to cause you distress" Baba placed thumb and fore finger to his eyebrows, like he was breaking difficult news

Nabila looked exasperated, "why does everyone keep asking me this?"

"Baba I am happier than I have been in a long time" she unconsciously stroked her tummy, the child kicked in response

"Six months ko?" he peered at her stomach. Nabila nodded giddily.

"Any complications?" he asked in his doctor voice. Nabila placed a hand on his knee, stopping his drumming fingers, "Baba you worry too much. Dr. Mahdi is very good. You know this"

"I just want things to go smoothly for you"

"Insha Allah"

"You should not be worrying about anything right now. We'll talk when you have put to bed" he nodded, agreeing with himself

"Baba are you travelling?"

"No"

"Then I'll see you before then now." Nabila laughed "There is still have a long way to go."

"Promise me you will not worry about anything, and if you do you will call me right away"

"Baba..."

"You are my daughter." He said with a long stare.

Nabila smiled and drank her zobo. She was surrounded by overprotective people.

Jamal Mujahid cast his gaze around the gym. People-watching as he began to warm up, tossing the racket in his hand from left to right.

"I almost feel sorry for what I am about to put you through" he told his opponent

"Too much talk, not enough action" Ikenna said

"Drop money then, if you're so confident" Jamal urged

"Please! I am the money"

Ikenna lost all sets. His game was way off and a couple of times he missed hitting the ball. His focus was noticeably elsewhere, and a couple of thousand Naira later he finally admitted defeat on the squash court.

"I didn't enjoy that as much as I thought I would" Jamal wiped sweat off his brow "What's the matter with you?"

"It's Amaka" Ikenna panted with his hands on his knees

"Wait are you actually telling me?" Jamal paused mid-sip from his water bottle

"Of course. You asked"

"But I thought you would say 'nothing', or crack a joke."

"So I can't talk about it?"

"Femi and I are friends, it will be weird"

"Is that your way of telling me to back off?" Ikenna was upright now and looking him directly in the eye. Luck had dealt a terrible hand and he was looking for someone to blame. His feelings would not let it be Amaka but Jamal was looking like a viable candidate.

"Ikenna don't force me into a corner. I am not picking sides." Jamal turned his focus to his gym kit.

Both men gulped from sport bottles, oblivious to the lady in the short tennis skirt that was taking a considerably long time tying her shoe laces.

"You have Nabila. You two can gossip all you want" he assured Ikenna

"How are you guys?" Ikenna asked. "Last time I saw her, she was very upset"

"We had an argument. Married people argue. You of all people should know that, Mr. Divorcee"

"It looked like more than a minor argument to me. She was very shaken up"

"Guy what is this, did she send you to me? Are we here to play squash or not?"

Ikenna raised his hands in surrender and gestured that the court was all his. Jamal raised a right arm to serve

"I just hope you guys have worked things out. Nabila is a good person"

"For fuck sake!" Jamal swore as his serve ricocheted off the wall at an awkward angle. He pointed aggressively, "Marry her or let it go"

"Amaka or Nabila?"

"Take you pick"

"Wow, you really hate discussing your emotions"

"Ikenna if you keep talking this way you are going to start growing breasts"

Femi Coker was finding it really hard to get through to Amaka. Now she was this tough shell of bitterness and pessimism. How much resentment can one harbour over four years? Surely she must be running out of angst by now. He suppressed a chuckle as she rammed into him for not packing the twins' lunch boxes right.

"Femi they are growing children. They need fruit"

"I'll put in a whole basket next time"

"Is this a joke to you?"

"No. But don't you think you are taking this a little too far. I mean, you are screaming at me over bananas."

"No Femi, I'm screaming at you because today its bananas, tomorrow you'll forget to pick them up from school"

"So this is practice for when I eventually fuck you. I mean fuck up" he grinned

Amaka rolled her eyes and restrained herself from a snide remark. The kids were watching TV in the living room. At this hour on a school night they should be in bed but daddy said it was okay. Just like he okayed skipping their after school activities tomorrow so they could go to the zoo. Decisions he took without consulting her, till she was ambushed by two pairs of bright eyes and chants of "Mommy please." She could not keep playing bad cop, the un-fun parent because she insisted on time charts and structure.

"What is it?" Femi touched her arm

"I can't keep fighting you about this. The children have a routine, it is how we do things and every time you alter the schedule it throws the whole day out of balance."

It was the first vulnerability Amaka had shown him. Femi decided not to try to be funny this time

"Maka I'm learning as I go along. You have had six years to perfect this. It is really hard not to for me not to say yes to everything they want. I mean look at them"

"Femi you are their parent, not their peer. Music and dance classes are important for building character. Homework cannot be left to the last minute. Whenever you say 'yes' to everything, I'm left to clean up the mess"

"I understand" Femi nodded. Amaka awaited a cheeky comment but none came

"The school mornings are tumultuous enough without wondering over lost pencils, uncompleted homework or tripping over toys the kids didn't put away"

"Amaka I get it. I'm screwing up"

"You're not screwing up. I just need to feel like you are on my side, please."

Femi smiled, "Are you worried they love me more than they love you?"

"Yes Femi, that is one of my greatest fears" Amaka said sarcastically, and turned away to face the dirty dishes in the sink.

Femi came up behind her, hands on her waist and whispered in her ear "Thank you. Really. For everything Maka, I don't say it enough"

Amaka turned around and faced him squarely. "Not tonight. Not tomorrow night. Not for many many nights to come."

"This wasn't even about staying over." Femi lied. He was going to kiss her but she stared him down and he chickened out. He had to admit the new Amaka scared him a bit.

The following day Femi arrived to take the children to the zoo as promised. Chiamaka and Chibuzo did not seem to mind forgoing ballet and piano lessons, packing their school bags fast and jumping on their father. As her regular routine no longer applied, Amaka remained in her office till 6pm before eventually packing up and driving to the Coker residence to get the children. She parked her car and steeled herself for the onslaught of hugs that Lade would throw her way, but what met her were strong words and raised voices. She could hear them from the shrub lined walk way. Kunle and his son were arguing, it didn't take long for Amaka to figure out why

"Ba omo e soro- talk to your child" Kunle Coker shouted

"...So I am supposed to live beneath your thumb for the rest of my life." Femi countered

"You are supposed to be responsible and get a job"

"What do you intend to do with all your money. Eh, what are you keeping it for? Take it to your grave now, be buried with it"

"You senseless boy. How dare you"

"I just want what's coming to me; I have a family to take care of for Chrissake"

"The mother of your children has been doing that without our help. Not once has she asked for a handout"

"Big Daddy ejo o- please" Lade tried to calm things down by placing herself between the two.

They all noticed Amaka then.

"Where are the children?" she asked Femi

"They have gone to get ice cream with Bisi" Lade answered "Ejoko- sit down, my daughter"

"No thank you"

"Maka..."

"No" Amaka interrupted Femi. There is no way she was staying here. Watching them argue about money was not the atmosphere she needed right now. It was the same opposition on both sides, just as it had been four years ago.

"My dear, I insist" Kunle said sitting back down slowly, as if to show her the quarrel was really over

"Big Daddy I still have some errands to run. I just wanted to check on the kids. Femi I guess you'll just drop them off later, no need interrupting ice cream time. Okay, yeah. Bye" Amaka shouted the last word as she bailed, the front door had barely slammed shut before she was starting her Toyota and driving off. She didn't need this.

Amaka Nwafor was not sure of where she was going till she got there. By the time she realised the road she turned into, it came as no surprise that it was where she needed to be. The Central Bank of Nigeria located in Garki. Amaka spent 5 minutes sitting in the car and staring at the glass building, and flying Nigerian flag. This late in the evening, all parking lots in the Central Business District were empty so it was not for want of parking space.

She was here already; to not go in would be stupid. Summoning up courage she drove towards the blue gate. The security guard waved her into plot 33. He need not ask who she came to see, there is after all only one person who would still be here so late. Inside the building, the lobby was wide and high and the hallways difficult to manoeuvre. The logo of the green eagle stamped onto a wall of white marble, so startling it glistened, seemed to follow her every movement. After making two wrong turns she finally found the elevators, Amaka knew what floor he worked from, he had told her so and with the stride of a woman on a mission she pressed the floor she required, sighing in relief that the first door had a gold plate bearing his name.