23 -Chapter 23-

-Last time-

"I don't consider it, I am his mother." Nora stated, wondering where the woman was going with this, before blinking in surprise as the woman smirked.

"Great," Tsunade said while holding Mito out to the orangette. "Then allow me to formally introduce you to your granddaughter."

…

…

"B-b-b-but I'm too young to be a grandma."

-And Now, The Next Day, Glynda's Classroom-

"I honestly wish I was more surprised by this." Weiss said in a dull tone as she, the rest of team RWBY, the J PR of team JNPR, Winter, and Penny all stared at a blank faced Nora with Naruto sitting on her lap holding Mito in his arms while Karin and Shizune sat on either side of the trio.

"You're not the only one." Ren said tiredly as he and Jaune sat next to each-other with bagged eyes. After finding out her apparent status as a grandparent, Nora had booked it to her team's dorm and spent almost the entire night ranting and freaking out before devolving into her current catatonic state.

"Does anyone else think this is the most adorable yet disturbing thing they'd ever seen?" Yang asked as Naruto and Mito rubbed their cheeks together while laughing, getting almost everyone in the room to nod in response.

'Ironwood is going to have an aneurysm when I tell him about this.' Winter thought, her eyebrow twitching slightly as she thought of that impending headache. "Alright, that's enough Naruto, give the baby back to her mother."

"Awww… okay Winter-nee," Naruto said with a cute pout as he handed Mito back to Karin. He quickly perked up with curiosity though when Ruby walked up to him with a familiar cardboard box in her hands.

"Don't be sad, we're gonna have a lot of fun." She said with a grin before opening the box and rifling around inside.

Classes had been canceled until the damage from Ruby's super-sugar rush, which she was thankfully excused of entirely by Ozpin much to Glynda's chagrin, and Naruto's explosive surprise were repaired. So, taking advantage of their extra free time, the group decided to go along with Nora's idea of testing Naruto with different weapons.

Plus, none of them wanted to be outside where the reporters and journalists were just waiting for a chance to strike.

"Here we go, let's try this one first." Ruby said with a smile while pulling out the mini version of her weapon.

"Of course you'd start with that one." Yang said, giving Ruby a mock disappointed look, to which she got a stuck-out tongue in response as the raven-redhead set the box down and handed Naruto the replica.

"Uuuuh, what is this oba-chan?" Naruto asked, looking over the red and black block in his hands curiously.

"That is Chibi Rose," Ruby said proudly before getting down on her knees so she was eye level with the boy and grabbing his hands. "Here, you hold it like this, no like this, there you go. Now keep a firm hold and-"

"Should we really be teaching him this stuff?" Pyrrha asked reluctantly as she watched Ruby instruct Naruto how to hold her 'weapon'. "He's just a child."

"A child with more targets on his back than I have Lien in my wallet." Winter replied bluntly.

"I know, but this still feels… wrong." Pyrrha muttered with an uneasy face, pausing briefly when an amazed Naruto activated Chibi Rose's scythe form.

"Your maternal instincts are telling you to protect him, that's only natural," The older Schnee said, placing a hand on the redhead's shoulder supportingly. "However, he needs to be protect himself as well. You've seen the extremes that some would go just to get to him."

"Yeah, you could say you experienced it first hand, eh?" Yang punned with a cheesy grin as she wiggled her pinky.

…

…

*Chirp-chirp* *Chirp-chirp* *Chirp- "Oh come on, that was pure comedy gold." The busty blonde grumbled while sending Blake a dirty look as the cat faunus played the sound of crickets chirping on her scroll.

"No… no it wasn't." Almost everyone else said bland sync, making Yang cross her arms with a huff.

"Crude humor aside, my point is that we won't always be available every second of every day to guard him. I don't like this anymore than you do, but it is sadly a necessary precaution we need to take." Winter finished her explanation calmly.

"Fine," Pyrrha said with a sigh of defeat as she seemed to deflate into her chair, subconsciously fiddling with her right hand.

"I don't see what you're so worried about, these things are basically toys." Yang said while picking up the faux Ember Celica gauntlets from the box and firing them at a nearby wall with a soft *Pt*, splattering it with yellow paint. "Really kickass toys sure, but still toys, what's the worst that can happen?"

"Oh, you did not just sa-*Pt*-HGLKJ!" Weiss started to groan, only to end up gagging as a red paintball sailed straight into her mouth when Naruto accidently pulled the trigger. The snow themed girl's hands shot to her throat, her face quickly starting to turn blue as she choked on the paint-filled projectile.

Thankfully, before Weiss could suffer from a humiliating death via paintball, Penny quickly came to her rescue as the gynoid wrapped her arms around the heiress's waist and did the Heimlich maneuver. After a few thrusts, the whitehaired girl gave out a loud coughing gasp before the small red ball popped out at high speed…

*Splat*

…and straight into Blake's face.

Her lips stretching out into a razor thin frown, the bow wearing teen's hands slowly wiped the spit and paint off her face as she sent Yang a dull glare.

"What?"

"I blame you."

And thus, the jinx began.

While all this was happening though, Shizune remained quiet with an awkward smile on her face. This was understandable since where she came from it was common to start training children as young as five to be ninja.

-Test One: Chibi Rose (Insert Gag Reel Music)-

"Alright Naruto, swing at the target like this." Ruby said while slicing a holographic dummy in half with Crescent Rose.

"Like this Oba-chan?" Naruto asked while mimicking the motion, only to end up losing his grip on Chibi Rose, causing the it to go flying across the room towards the others. While most of them ducked on reflex, Winter just stood there calmly and caught the mini scythe midair with ease.

"Heheh, maybe we should try target practice instead." Ruby muttered sheepishly as Winter tossed the faux weapon to her.

-One Minute Later-

*Pt* "Drat," *Pt* "Dang it," *Pt* "Darn it, this is hard," Naruto whined as he aimed Chibi Rose's gun form at a holographic target on the wall with several red paint smears surrounding it.

"Don't feel bad, it took me a long time to get the aim right when I started as well." Ruby said while ruffling the boy's hair.

"No kidding, you kept missing each shot by miles and somehow managed to shoot dad in the foot." Yang said with a loud chuckle. "Man, he was so pissed when the doc ended up removing his pinkie toe."

"Yaaaang!" Ruby yelled indignantly as her face turned bright red in embarrassment. "You promised never to talk about that!"

"Sorry Rubes, but my fingers were cro-" *Pt* *Pt* *Pt* "Gah! Son of a Bitch!" Yang was cut off mid-sentence when she was shot three times by Naruto, once in the stomach, once in the chest, and once in the eye.

"Bad Oba-chan! No being a meanie to Ruby-obachan!" Naruto yelled with an adorable glare as Yang rolled on the floor swearing up a storm with her hands clasped over her eye.

-Test Two: Mininaster (Myrtenaster Copy)-

"Your legs are too close together, keep your back straight, shoulders need to be squared…" Naruto's eyes were nothing but swirls as he stood in an uncomfortable looking pose while Weiss circled around him correcting every little mistake.

"Wow, she is a really bad teacher." Yang said dully.

"Indeed," Winter said with a sigh. Her little sister's need for perfection may make her a model student, but it left a lot to be desired when it came to instructing others. Case and point, it had been almost an hour and the Schnee heiress hadn't even gotten past showing Naruto the starting stance.

"I'm putting a stop to this." Blake said calmly while hefting a really long cane in her arms.

"Where did you get that?" Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow, only to be ignored as the faunus in disguise hooked the end of the cane around Weiss's neck while she was distracted with her ranting and pulled her away from Naruto.

-Test Three: Gambol Shadow (Gambol Shroud copy)-

"I have no words for this," Winter said emotionlessly, though her rapidly twitching eyebrow belied her calm words. "No words at all."

Everyone was tangled into a giant ball in the center of the room, held together by thin black ribbons and Naruto's tails.

"You know, now that I think about it, maybe having him try to use a corded weapon with multiple giant tails sticking out his backside wasn't the wisest of ideas." Ruby's muffled voice said as her legs kicked uselessly in the air.

"No, really? What gave you that idea?" Weiss asked sarcastically as she struggled against her bindings, not noticing that her constant wiggling around was having a profound affect on the blonde teen boy beneath her that she was unknowingly grinding against.

'So this is what heaven feels like.' Was Jaune's last thought before he passed out with a bloody nose and steam erupting from his ears.

-Test Four: Ember Sisters (Ember Celica copy)-

"One! Two! One! Two! Two! One! Two! One! One!" With each number Yang yelled, Naruto would respond by punching the boxing mitts she was wearing with either his left or right hand. They went on like this for a full five minutes, with the older blonde frequently switching up how she called the numbers to prevent Naruto from getting accustomed to a specific pattern before signaling to stop.

"Good job squirt, you got a pretty good swing for your age." Yang said, getting Naruto to beam from the praise while she pulled the protective gloves off and took out her scroll. "Now let's try something a little more fun."

Pressing a command on her scroll, several green holo-targets appeared and started spinning around Naruto. "This is really simple, just try to punch as many of those as you can until I tell you to stop. Got it?"

"Got it Oba-chan!" Naruto said with a salute before doing as the busty blonde said.

"This seems to be going well." Ren said as the group watched the whiskered boy throw wild and sloppy punches through the moving targets, causing them to turn red with a soft *ping*. "Something should go wrong any second now."

Giving the slothful boy an odd look, Winter couldn't help but ask, "What are you talking about?"

"It's one of Nora's laws," Pyrrha stated with a sigh. "Since something went wrong with every other, then that means something will definitely go wrong here."

"Oh please, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever h-URK!" Weiss started to say, only to be cut off when one of the Ember Sister gauntlets suddenly collided with her crotch.

"Sorry Oba-chan!" Naruto yelled with a sheepish grin while Yang rolled on the floor laughing.

-Test Five: Crocea Mini (Crocea Mors copy)

"Nope," Almost everyone in the room said at the same time as Jaune started to stand up, making the blonde sigh in defeat and flop back down.

-Test Six: Mikro Milo and Akouo (Milo and Akouo copy)

"Yah! Hut! Hah!" Naruto exclaimed while slicing through several moving holo-dummies with basic swings.

"You're going good Naruto, keep it up." Pyrrha said with a mixture of pride and uneasiness on her face, still not entirely sold on all this. Squirming a bit in the chair she was in, she still couldn't stand for prolonged periods since she had multiple torn and strained muscles in her legs and lower back, she upped the difficulty level from introductory to novice with her scroll. Barely a second later, a dozen more holograms appeared armed with bo staffs.

Not thinking much of this, Naruto attacked one of these new dummies… only to end up blinking in surprise when it managed to block his swing. Before he could regather his wits, the boy was smacked across the face by another holo-dummy and sent stumbling back several steps.

Pyrrha's concern shot up briefly, but she quickly calmed down as Naruto shook off the blow without any sign of injury and dove right back into the fight.

"Interesting, he's already starting to reflexively protecting himself with his aura. You've been teaching him well." Winter said to Ren with an impressed look, who'd been teaching Naruto while Pyrrha was out of commission.

The quiet boy nodded his head in thanks for the praise but made sure to keep his eyes firmly on Naruto as he managed to defeat two of the holo-dummies at once with a lucky swing. "He's a good student, once you figure out how to get him to sit still long enough to be taught. Just like Nora."

"Speaking of blocking, looks like Ruby and Penny are almost done setting up." Blake said as the group turned towards the said girls, who were currently on the far side of the room assembling what looked like a small cannon. The raven-redhead was making a few last adjustments to the trigger while the orangette loaded up a large plastic container filled with quarter sized red balls into the ammo slot.

After a minute or so of fiddling, Ruby smiled widely and cocked the weapon. "We're locked and loaded! Ready to go whenever you are!"

"Thank you, your timing is perfect." Pyrrha said, standing up a bit wobbly as Naruto sliced the last hologram in two. "Great job Naruto, now to try blocking."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, she led him to the opposite side of the training floor and guided him into a basic crouching shield position. "I want you to hold this position as best you can while Ruby fires at you. They're just paintballs, but their bigger and hit a lot harder than the ones you were shooting so they will sting a bit if they hit you. So, if at any time you want to stop then don't hesitate to say so, okay?"

"Okay Pyrrha-obachan." Naruto said, briefly breaking out of the stance to give her a hug that she returned before going back to her seat and signaling to Ruby to go.

"Alright, here we go!" Ruby exclaimed as she pulled the trigger, launching several rounds straight at Naruto…

…Then all hell broke loose.

Instead of splattering against the shield like expected, the red balls bounced off and started ricocheting all over the room. By the time this fact managed to register in anyone's mind though, one of the balls head struck Ruby across the back of the head, making her face slam against the front of the cannon and knocking her out cold.

Unfortunately, her hand was still grasped around the trigger as she slumped over, so the cannon continued to fire. Within seconds the entire room was filled with bouncing balls of doom.

"Hit the dirt!" Shizune yelled as she, Winter, Karin, and Blake ducked under the seats for cover while Naruto yanked Pyrrha towards him with on of his tails as the rest formed a protective dome around the pair. The rest were too slow to react and ended up getting repeatedly pelted from all sides before managing to duck as well.

"What the hell's going on!?" Yang demanded as she rubbed one of the many welts now adorning her face.

"Good question." Winter said before drawing her sword and slicing through all the shots that headed towards her in the blink of an eye. This went on for quite a while until the gun ran out of ammo and all the balls finally stopped. Waiting an extra minute just to be safe, everyone slowly started to peek out from cover and saw the damage.

-End Music-

Hundreds of balls covered the floor, almost every exposed surface was riddled with dent marks, and all the windows in the room were smashed to pieces. Penny's stood over Ruby's prone form, her face badly dented up as she gently shook the girl awake.

"Great, looks like we destroyed yet another part of the school." Blake muttered. "At this rate, Beacon will be nothing but a pile of rubble by the end of the year."

"But how? Last time I checked paintballs don't bounce." Ren muttered, grimacing as he slowly stood up.

"Simple, these aren't paint," Winter said while picking up one of the sliced-up balls, showing the solid red insides. "They're rubber."

"What? How?" Ruby asked in a surprise tone as she sat up, a small trickle of blood running down her nostrils.

"I believe that is my fault," Penny said with a sheepish smile, or the best she could manage with her damaged face, while holding up the empty ammo container, revealing the symbol for Atlas on the side. "When you sent me to buy more training rounds, I got Atlasian standard instead of Valian standard by accident."

"Of course you did." Ruby muttered with a sigh before grabbing the gynoid's arm and dragging her along. "Come on Penny, let's go fix up your face."

"Yeah, I think now is a good time to call it a day." Pyrrha said as she and Naruto walked up to them, with the former leaning ever so slightly on the latter until Jaune went to her side and helped her stand.

"I think Nora agrees," Ren said as he watched the somehow completely unharmed orangette pull Naruto back into her lap when he got close and snuggle with him tightly.

"No arguments here," Weiss groaned as she pressed a piece of wrapped ice she'd made with dust against the numerous bruises covering her body. "I don't think my body can take much more of this. I really need to see a medic."

"Did someone say they needed a medic?" Everyone in the room, even Winter, jumped slightly as an unknown voice rang through the room, before turning around toward the source.

Standing by the now open doorway was a man with plain brown hair and lightly tanned skin, wearing a dark purple outfit that looked like a mixture of a tuxedo and a medic's uniform. In his arms was a fancily wrapped package and on his back was a M41 Surface-to-Surface Rocket Medium Anti-Vehicle/Assault Weapon.

"Whoa, what happened in here?" The man asked with a raised brow as he looked over the destroyed room before suddenly smirking and saying in a gravelly voice. "Looks like someone had a lot of fun."

-Meanwhile, 'Abandoned' Warehouse-

"Everything is set for tomorrow, all the pieces in place. All that's left is for you to get the boy down to the docks tomorrow night, preferably with as few people as possible." The fire eyed woman said, her hands steepled together as she and Neo stared at each-other from across her desk.

"Once you're there, wait for my signal then make it seem like you've been taken out. That way, if anything goes wrong your cover will still be intact at least. Understood?"

[Perfectly] Neo 'said' with a confident smirk.

"Good, then get going, you're on the clock." The woman said, getting the ice-cream themed girl to nod before her form seemingly shattered like glass and vanished from sight.

Once she was gone, a green-haired girl who looked to be in her late teens stepped into the room with a frown. "Are you sure we can trust her for this Cinder?"

"You worry too much Emerald, Neo knows what she's doing and she's competent enough to get it done." The now named Cinder said calmly.

"But she getting to close to the target, we both saw her hesitate just now." Emerald said. It had been barely noticeable and it was only thanks to her many years as a thief that she noticed it, but the greenette had just managed to see the slight pause in Neo's movements.

"I know, which is why her act at the docks will be all too… realistic." Cinder said with a dark smirk.

-End Chapter-