347 Chapter 329: Normal and Healthy Talk of Girls
(Nyaruko) (Haiyore! Nyaruko-san)
"Help! That damn thing is eating my legs!"
"AAAAHHHH I'M NOT REGENERATING!"
"Holy Lady, why have you abandoned us?!"
"Living is depressing...."
"The mist, don't touch the black mist!"
Ah, few things are as nice as beating up progressive idiots in the morning.
"Hold on a little longer, the reinforcements are coming!" – A femboy yelled to encourage her allies, which made the little racist angry.
The idiots fell silent and turned pale as the entire World was covered in horizontal and vertical lines. In an instant, the entire World had become a cube with millions of cubic pieces.
This reminds me of the last time I fought with the loli. At that time we had a fight because she wanted to steal the information about a World that I wanted to protect, sadly our fight destroyed that World... Anyway, nostalgia.
I smiled. – "Hey loli, remember, saying the name of the skill is important to show dominance~"
Yog-Sothoth rolled her eyes in annoyance but held out her little loli hands. – "Rubik World"
The loli's hands made a smooth movement which shook the spatial coordinates to change.
Up was straight and down was a circling path. Taking a step forward can take you to the moon and taking a step back can take you to the center of the sun.
The World became a spatial maze, but that was not all. The unlucky idiots had their bodies cut into two or more parts and were scattered in the spatial maze.
The most annoying thing about this skill is that most defensive skills don't register this as an attack, so space slash can slice through body and soul like jelly. Also, splitting a body's spatial coordinates isn't a wound, so healing abilities can't restore a severed arm.
The first time she used that skill against me it took me ten years to find my arm and it caused me to lose a Def Jam tournament. Damn loli, if it weren't for the fact that she is part of Luis's harem I would like to hit her small and childish face.
"Are you thinking something rude?" - Yog-Sothoth frowned at me.
"I was thinking of hitting you" – I shrugged.
"Do it and I'll tell Luis" - The damn loli smiled like Anya's meme.
I want to hit her, anyway, we just torched a UN third of the multiverse. There should be no problem if I use child violence...
"Hey idiots, stop playing games" – The stupid milk cow Daoloth appeared in front of us. – "Fucking otaku, did you just insult me in your mind?"
"No" - How did she know?! It must be an enemy Stand!
"Idiot" – The idiot looked at me with annoyance because she is an idiot. – "Whatever, we have to leave before the reinforcements of these losers without parental affection arrive"
"Did you get the materials yet?" – I asked skeptically.
Yog-Sothoth and I are the best at tracking targets, but we couldn't find the materials we need from this World. It shouldn't be possible that the idiot cow could find the records before us…. Oh, I see.
"The scientist used his AI chip" – I sighed with disappointment.
We had to invade a World that is under the jurisdiction of Paradise to obtain materials to rebuild Paranoia-chan.
We didn't want to have trouble with those hypocritical idiots since Luis is injured and needs to rest, but things have gotten noisy since we found an idol group.
That group of girls is adorable so we decided that they will be a present for Luis, anyway, we have to bring a lot of presents since Luis will be angry when he finds out that we destroyed a few Worlds and now Dr. Madness is one of the most wanted criminals in the multiverse…. oops.
What we didn't expect is that the girl group turned out to be a magnet for trouble and every once in a while we have to kill one or two system users as those idiots still think they can beat us. Stupid fanfic protagonists.
Anyway, we didn't want to have any more problems, but the scientist with fewer emotions than a cool protagonist of fanfic told us that the next material was in a world within the territory of Paradise, so... well... maybe, just maybe, we started a war…
Good side: No one has discovered that the wielders of the Madness energy are working together.
Bad side: Leaders of large organizations are now paying attention to us.
Well, we just have to beat up every idiot that comes to bother us.
At first, we wanted to infiltrate the World to get the materials without causing too much chaos, but we got bored after twelve minutes.
Life is boring if Luis is not around to get angry with us…..
To kill the boredom we made a bet. We split up into three teams and the first team to find the materials would get a month's supply of cookies from the losing teams.
Yog-Sothoth and I were the smallest team, but the two of us are enough to destroy one of the main regiments on Paradise, so there was no risk.
We accidentally got distracted doing something totally important, so we lost our advantage.
Daoloth is good at causing disaster, but the best thieves are me and Yog-Sothoth, so we should have won this damn bet, but I forgot that damn warlock with ice cube complex has analysis skills almost comparable to Luis's...
"Heh" – The cow sneered at me. – "I won, now pay"
Tch.
I took out a bag of cookies and gave it to the idiot cow.
I'm crying blood...
"Stop being so dramatic" – Daoloth is trash without empathy and he looked at me with mockery. – "Now let's call the others… Where is the yandere cultivator?"
I pointed to a remote region of this World.
"Oh…" – Daoloth smiled wryly. – "I thought we were problematic, but she is more temperamental"
In a corner of the World a golden sword the size of the Milky Way appeared.
"Divine Heaven Smiting Tribulation Immortal!" – Despite the distance, I can hear the female voice full of hate.
"That looks dangerous" – Daoloth had a big smile.
"Yes, that is certainly dangerous" – I nodded with satisfaction while I stroked my nonexistent beard. – "The little carp crossed the waterfall to become a dragon that crushes the skies and destroys deities"
"…. Stop talking like that, it's disgusting" - Yog-Sothoth looked at me with disgust.
Tch, idiots without culture.
We took out the popcorn and watched as Long Aoxue destroyed this World. She didn't hold back one bit and directly destroyed the Will of the World and the Core of this World.
Long Aoxue has no soul-destroying abilities, but she destroyed all the flow of Destiny in this World, so this place can't be rebuilt unless Paradise uses extremely valuable treasures, but those hypocritical idiots would rather see the death of a World before emptying their wallets.
"I thought you would stop her" – Daoloth spoke to me curiously while he put sauce on her popcorn. – "Between us, the loli enjoys traveling between worlds without interfering too much, but you are obsessed with protecting the worlds"
I am a collector who loves to see plots. I don't like idiots who ruin a good plot to collect people as that ruins a good story, so I have fought countless times to protect Worlds from foreign invasions, though sadly many times I lost control and ended up destroying the Worlds I wanted to protect.…
Well, that's in the past. Now I have my adorable tsundere fuckboy husband <3
I shrugged as I watched the screaming light show. – "Yes, well, the plot of this place is rubbish, and only the waifus are worth it"
"…" – Daoloth looked at me with narrowed eyes. – "Did you lose the bet because you went to capture waifus?"
I smiled and waved my hand for a display case to appear next to me. – "Heh, Luis will give me a lot of love~"
Mature woman with large breasts, dark skin, elf ears, and a cliché villain attitude. She will be a good gift for Luis~
"Wait a minute" – Daoloth is a sore loser and looked at the waifu with a frown. – "Isn't she supposed to be stuffed like a Christmas turkey? Why is she a virgin?"
"Christmas turkey?" - Yog-Sothoth tilted her head in innocent confusion. She is one of the most intelligent beings, but she likes to maintain the mental age of a loli so that Luis pampers her.
"You know, we're in a hentai world so women are covered like glazed donuts" – Daoloth shrugged.
Yog-Sothoth's eyes turned red as if she had remembered something grotesque.
Oh right, she's still mad at the idiot who tried to rape her.
I smiled and gave a thumbs-up. – "When Luis is better, we will look for that idiot to destroy him in the most horrible way"
"Nnn" – The loli nodded with a smile and continued eating as we watched the yandere cultivator and the yandere onee-san slaughtering every inclusive soldier.
"Otaku idiot, you didn't answer my question" – Daoloth threatened me with a fork.
I snorted contemptuously. – "Only Luis can threaten me like this, if you try to stick that in my head I will hit you"
Daoloth narrowed her eyes which gave me a bad feeling. – "I am going to tell Luis that you started a business with the idiot fairy to sell dakimakura with the photos of him shota version and neko version, I will also tell him that you are selling them in Hell and Paradise"
I dropped to my knees as my forehead hit the ground. – "BB-SAMA!"
I know that sooner or later Luis will find out, but I prefer it to be late.
I started this small business to create an information network within the two big organizations so technically I'm helping, but Luis will be furious if he knows I sold dildos shaped like his dick. By the way, those have been very popular among married women...
Anyway, Luis is on vacation and it will take him a long time to realize what I did, but Daoloth is capable of ruining Luis's vacation just to annoy me.
Daoloth was looking down on me, but I can't complain. – "I want 80% of the profits"
"30%" – I kept kneeling.
"90%" – The damn cow put her foot on my head.
"35%" – I don't care about money, but I don't want this damn woman to feel like she beat me to it.
"95%" – The damn cow started rubbing her hoof on my head.
"50%, take it or leave it" – I gritted my teeth anxiously.
"Okay" – Daoloth removed her foot from my head. – "I would have resigned myself to 10%, but 50% is better~"
…. Damn cow.
I sighed and sat back down to continue watching the light show.
Yog-Sothoth touched my arm to get my attention, then pointed behind us.
We're in a space cube so the destruction of the World can't harm us, though the visual shock had caused a group of weak-minded girls to faint while foam came out of their mouths.
"We just saved them, but now they act like they've seen the apocalypse" – I sighed.
These girls should be happy to see us murder the idiots that hurt them, but they keep fainting every time we do a little apocalypse. How unfortunate.
I shook my head and continued eating, but I remembered what we were talking about.
I usually use [Treasure Chest] to store things I've borrowed indefinitely. The display case that appeared next to me is a sub-skill of that skill.
The display case is my [Figure Display Case]. This allows me to store living entities and artifacts in such a way that they remain conscious, but totally immobile, plus I can manipulate their movements while they are in the display case to make them pose.
Currently, the showcase is filled with the waifus of this hentai world. All of them are posing erotically since they are hentai waifus and being sex toys is their destiny, yet deep in their eyes there seems to be an infinite amount of terror, fear, and despair as they watch the World being destroyed. Meh, it must be my imagination.
"You asked why they have virgin bodies even though the Destiny of this World was in an advanced stage" – I smiled and raised my thumb. – "I used the Ope Ope no Mi to reconstruct their bodies and return their hymen"
"..." – Daoloth looked at me blankly. – "Senpai doesn't care about virginity, I don't understand why you did something so useless"
I shrugged. – "I know that Luis does not mind sleeping with whores and bitches as long as they become faithful, but it would be strange if he puts his dick where a hundred orcs have already been"
Daoloth sighed. – "It is true that senpai does not care about this kind of thing, but I am worried that senpai has such low standards"
"He has no standards" – I rolled my eyes.
"Luis only accepts pretty women" – Yog-Sothoth's words caught our attention.
"Well, that's true" – Daoloth nodded.
"In terms of personality, the more twisted the waifu's mind is, the more Luis likes her" – I put my hand on my chin and thought about the meaning of life.
"Senpai is wonderful~" – Daoloth smiled.
I also smiled.
Yog-Sothoth smiled.
I made the waifus in the display case smile.
We all smile.
Luis <3
"By the way" - Yog-Sothoth looked at the dark elf with a frown. – "Do we have to save her?"
"Little racist, you know that Luis doesn't care about color, species, or beliefs, all that matters is that she's a woman and doesn't have a dick" - I smiled and patted the loli's head, but she used a spatial skill to my hand could not touch her.
"Try again and I'll cut off your arm" – The loli looked at me angrily. – "Only Luis can caress Abby's head"
Owwww, the loli is so in love that she threatens me even though I can break her face. How cute~
"All jokes aside, does a man sleeping with a futanari count as gay sex?" – Daoloth posed an existential question.
"That depends" - I frowned seriously. – "Femboys and traps are definitely gay sex, but futanari are still women… Hmm, maybe he is only gay if the man is penetrated"
"Gay is gay and gay is bad" – The loli showed that she is the natural enemy of Twitter.
"Anyway, how did we come to this stupid conversation?" Daoloth sighed with annoyance. – "I miss senpai so much that I am becoming as stupid as you are"
"No, it's actually an important conversation" - I showed seriousness. – "It is very possible that Luis has to face this dilemma, so we must support him"
Daoloth looked at me with disgust. – "Senpai is so homophobic that a far-right conservative, he won't put it in a man"
That is true, but there is still a problem.
"Shub-Niggurath is a degenerate bitch, and although she doesn't have a dick, she has the horrible fetish of sodomizing men with her tentacles" – I frowned.
"We will simply kill her" – Daoloth shrugged. – "She is the most resistant of us and she could resist Azathoth's hits, but little Gogh-chan already has the necessary strength to eliminate that bitch"
"She is useful to Luis" - I sighed.
"…Shit" – Daoloth sighed.
Yog-Sothoth sighed.
The waifus in the display case sighed.
We all sigh.
"There is another problem" - I sighed deeper. – "Sooner or later the friends of Shub-Niggurath will appear"
"..." – Daoloth looked like she was about to vomit. – "Those fucking nympho bitches will not contaminate my adorable and perfect senpai…. I will kill them all…"
"Although I think like you, Luis is a pervert and he will accept nymphomaniacs" - I sighed with anguish.
".......... Shit!" – Daoloth gave a blow in the air which threw a sphere of destructive energy which increased the cracks in this World.
"Besides…" – I couldn't hide my disgust. – "The Lord of Excess will undoubtedly look for Luis…"
"......." – Daoloth had a gloomy look.
Yog-Sothoth had a grim look.
The waifus in the display case had grim looks.
We all have dark looks.
"Should we kill the hermaphrodite?" – The loli asked the question that we all thought.
"I don't know" – I sighed with confusion. – "Is Slaanesh a man with a vagina or a woman with a dick?"
"....." – No one could answer that question.
"Let's forget that stupidity, now I'm in a bad mood" – Daoloth no longer wanted to think about grotesque things. – "Anyway, senpai doesn't use too many lust skills, so it will be a long time before we have to worry about this"
That's true. Luis is a pervert, but he prefers obsessive feelings instead of empty lust. Nympho bitches will not be interested in him for a long time.
We were about to eat to suppress our disgust, but the loli frowned. – "I can feel that the reinforcements are coming, they will be here in two minutes"
I sighed and called Long Aoxue. – "Stop cutting those idiots, we have to go"
This whole conflict started because some idiot bitch said that all men are trash and should be castrated.
This World is the famous hentai Kuroinu where women only serve to be semen containers.
The group of inclusive idiots from Paradise came to this World a short time ago and they have been murdering men while empowering women.
We came to this World to obtain records that could synchronize Paranoia-chan with Luis's sexual skills. She is a Madness-based skill, so she needs additional registers to sync up with Luis' non-Madness-based skills.
In general, this world was full of radical feminism so derogatory comments against men were normal.
Most of us don't care about the stupidities of an idiot frustrated with life, as for the two men in our group, Anti-Spiral only thinks about fulfilling his mission while Leylin Farlier is apathetic to everything. They have no pride and didn't mind putting on women's costumes.
Even Cthylla ignored those comments as she only gets mad if Luis is directly insulted.
In general, we don't care what idiots think as long as Luis isn't directly insulted, but there is one yandere who turned out to be more yandere due to the immortal cultivator ideology.
Long Aoxue was enraged upon hearing that as it was like saying that Luis should be castrated. She became so enraged that she destroyed the woman's body and Destiny.
That started a conflict with the soldiers of Paradise.
Long Aoxue's fury increased when a lesbian invited her out of it. We wear costumes that change our faces, names, and presence to make us unrecognizable, but Long Aoxue's innate charm is too high, so she drew a lot of stares.
Cultivators are extremely conservative, so homosexual behavior is a disgusting insult to them, plus Long Aoxue was furious at being asked out when she was already married.
As a group, we all have constant problems and arguments, but we are Luis's harem so attacking one of us is attacking all of us.
So, we started a war to eradicate every damn living thing in this World. I just made sure to save the waifus to take as gifts.
Well, it was fun to commit worldwide genocide, but we have to go.
Yog-Sothoth has already detected the strength of the coming enemies and we can easily eliminate them, but we have caused Paradise too much trouble already and it will be bad if this continues.
Sooner or later Auriel will be in Luis's bed and it will be bad if we exterminate all of her army.
"Actually…." – Daoloth had a very funny look. – "I love senpai and being away from him makes me feel very, very, very angry… Maybe… we should release a little bit of anger…"
I looked at the loli and we came to the same conclusion.
"Let's hit those idiots!" - We scream excitedly.
I put away the display case with waifus and Yog-Sothoth put the idol waifus in a safe place, then we called the rest of our group to stay out of the way. They already had fun, now it's our turn.
"I also want to fight so that everyone knows the name of the evil and powerful Laplus Darknesss-sama muahahahahaha!" - Yibb-Tstll appeared next to us.
Daoloth struck the horned loli's head. – "Don't bother, the adults are going to work"
"I hate you!" - Yibb-Tstll seemed about to cry so we ignored her.
Finally, the Dimensional Gate opened and an endless red and green army appeared to confront us.
"It's Warhammer 40k!" - I screamed feeling great happiness.
My collecting instinct tells me that I should borrow the equipment of all those space marines…. Hehehehe, Blood Angels and Salamanders... I still don't have figures of them...
"Defensive formation, protect the wounded!" – Two Primarchs commanding enough soldiers to conquer a mid-level World. It's flattering that Paradise sent such a large group to deal with us~
"I want to hit the black" - Yog-Sothoth pointed to Vulkan.
"Okay, I'll hit the blonde" – Daoloth had a big smile. – "I hate ikemen…"
"Don't damage the armor too much, they are collector's items" – I wiped the saliva from my mouth. It's exciting to see so many collectibles...
"Should we stop them?" – I heard the expressionless voice of the Anti-Spiral behind us.
"Stop them? You are an idiot? Look at the faces of those crazy women, it's suicide to want to stop them!" - Yibb-Tstll sounded scared.
Well, never mind…. Hehehe, figures for my collection….
"Withdraw now and we can avoid a pointless fight!" – Vulkan spoke to us bravely and firmly. He showed no fear even when our presences are so oppressive that matter around us is being destroyed on a molecular level.
How noble, he prefers to protect the survivors instead of fighting against us. A shame Lovecraft's pride is with us.
Vulkan's pupils contracted and he barely managed to duck to avoid having his head sliced off by a space slash. If he had hair, that would have made him bald.
We've discussed it for a long time and decided that it was best to show that at least one of us is an Outer God.
I will pretend to be the system user Dr. Madness, Daoloth will pretend to be an unknown pseudo-Outer God, and Yog-Sothoth will show her true identity. That way we can attract the cooperation of some psychopathic bastards to serve as pawns.
We will plunge the multiverse into chaos so that Luis can be the protagonist of the multiverse. The war will be the best scenario for my cute husband to stand out from all the system users with a superiority complex.
Yog-Sothoth stopped hiding her power and her Traveler's Madness covered all space.
The adorable little loli turned into her nightmare form and pointed at Vulkan with one of her tentacles. Her cute voice now sounded like an endless echo in the ocean abyss. – "Don't talk to me with that skin tone"
.....................… Wow, even I think that was too racist.
Anyway, let's collect some toys~
---
---
---
Author's Note:
Damn exam week, I thought I would die from stress....
Sorry for the delay in the chapters. I have nothing more to say, I'm really sorry.
On the other hand, I had to write this three times...
Sometimes I feel like I think too much random rubbish.....
Anyway. A hug <3
