1 Introduction: Alex

His vision was blurry.

Hazy.

He was used to taking substances and having the so-called Uni-fun. It still bothered him. The thought of her in his mind. A small reminder of what he had. Of what he had to let go. They were not in bad terms. He still likes her Instagram pictures and commented on a few, too. But the thought was still there. The sleepless nights and unforgettable walks on Cali's beach. The talks and teasing between the two. He was bonded to her. No way to move on, to meet someone new. Her honey brown eyes and long, dyed red hair. Not his usual type, but something about her, excited him. He felt reckless while embracing her tanned body, brave when he held her hand!

But now it was all gone. Back in the usual pub, with the usual girls and boys. The usual drink and the flirtatious, meaningless game he always played. He did not mean any of it. The compliments were used to each girl interested enough to sit with him, his face expressions fake. A meaningless hobby to pass his Saturday nights. A distraction from what or better, who, he wanted to compliment; to touch, to feel.

Soon, he would take that girl back to his place, with her consent of course, and do all the things he wants to do to her. To the real her. Sometimes he found himself feeling guilty. Feeling like he did not want to be the player. That the role he was playing is not the real him. Just like how that girl was not the real her. And he could not be with the real her because she was a 10 hour and 30 minutes of a flight away. But her smell was so familiar. It still wandered onto the white, silk robe she left before she went.

Even though he was happy and content with what he had here in Los Angeles he was still missing the times he had spent with her. The nights and days. The fights and intimate embraces. His friends knew but could not help. How could they? They did not even know that girl. Even though her name familiar, her face was up to Alex's descriptions of her. He made her look and sound like a Goddess. A creature that is not a part of this earth, but still humble and naive enough to stay here, on this planet willingly.

His Dari.

His light and darkness. His reason to live or to die. An absolute mystery to everyone else but to him. Not even Li knew her. His absolute best friend had never met the girl of his dreams. That was another little part of Alex's guilt. He was selfish towards her. He would not share her pictures nor the videos, full of their memories. Li did not mind, but he worried. He knew Alex for a long time and the shift of his behaviour... Concerned him.

You see, Li is a very intriguing character throughout this story. He always has been. He and Alex went to California together, but their ways parted before any of the two met Dari. It was almost like it was planned. However, what happened to him that summer is not relevant, even though it could have been crucial to Alex and his Dari. So crucial that this whole story might have not even been made.

Alex loved his mom. He loved her so much that he could not bear a day without calling her. He missed her more than anything. Her blonde long hair, her brown almond eyes and big, but shy smile. He did not look like his mom at all. Maybe that is why he loved her so much. She was the exact opposite to him in looks and character. (He was always told that he looked like his dad. Shame that he never met him.) She was light-hearted, optimistic; Never took anything to heart. Alex always thought that if he would ever be with someone it would be a girl like his mother. Maybe not in looks but he would love his soulmate to be as happy and bright as his mom.

Her name was Sali. He found it weird that the girl of his dreams was called Dari and his mom Sali. He took it as a sign. He never really mentioned any love interests to his mom after he left for University. Even after the first 2 years away from home, he never said anything about anything happening in his life, to his mom, and once again, he felt guilty for it. Alex did not know how to talk to his mom. He always felt that he would upset her or worry her, and he did not want to risk that. Even Dari was still unknown to his mom. The biggest love interest he ever had in his life, was non-existent from his mother's perspective. He blamed himself for it. Of course, he did! He blamed himself for everything most of the time.

So here he was. In the same bar as before, with the same girls and the same drink. Only if he could see Dari again and tell her to stay, tell her how he felt that Summer. Sometimes, he contemplated going to London to find her, but he soon erased that thought. He was almost certain she had already moved on, and probably not even remember his name. It made sense to him. Why would she remember anything about what happened that Summer? Things like that happen all the time, right?

Well, he always thought what they had was special, but knew that feeling was most likely one-sided. There was not much he could do about that, so he just tried to forget about it. All of it. With any way possible, as he did not care enough for himself to make sure his "habits" were harmless. He was still stuck back in that Summer, and God knows how he would get over it.