146 day 150 - 5 months in

So... Still here. You know, I really wonder how the fuck all this power got distributed. Like it still hasn't sunk in that I'm responsible for lives here. I was just some 20 yo dude up until a while ago, writing a fanfic about some op mc. Now I'm affecting lives in a damn war. Who decided I'm fit for this!? I don't want the responsibility, it freaks me the hell out!

Each project I finish has very real effects. And they aren't minor either, I honestly would've preferred it if they were. Never was I so jealous of the soldiers doing menial stuff like odd jobs.

All the capable men who could do this, and somehow it's me? Honestly, the anxiety might just cripple me of I think about it too deeply. Plus now that my emotions started to quell, I started really thinking about all this war, which is confusing me to no end.

Well, that's all from me, what's up with you guys?