20 Chapter 20: A Real Heart To Heart
Keitaro glanced behind him and saw that except for Kuma, who was still standing around and still looking off to the side, all the other adults had already disappeared.
Surprisingly when he looked back towards Tsume she had disappeared as well at some point, leaving him alone with his dad. Sighing to himself Keitaro walked over to his fathers side and waited patiently for him to finish his musings, so that they could head on home. The blushing shy child that was eagerly listening to Tsume was gone, and in his place was the ever thoughtful Keitaro.
While he wasn't able to get that much info out of her, what little he did get was more than enough for him to work with for now. He'd have to think about how best to move forward from here on out; whether to fully commit to the clan or whether to keep his distance.
Things might have sounded great for clan shinobi but he wasn't fooled. He learned early on that there is never a free lunch in the world, and everything, no matter how minor it seemed, came at a price.
He didn't get to think about much though, as his father seemed to finally realize that everyone else had already left, leaving the two of them awkwardly standing there all alone.
Kuma didn't say anything and simply held out his hand for Keitaro to hold onto as the started to walk off. From what he could understand Kentaro was going to be spending the next few days at the clan as they taught him the ins and outs of ninken care. As such, they didn't need to wait for him at all.
While it would have been nice to explore more of the clan and get to know some of the other kids that were bound to be running around somewhere, Keitaro kept quiet and simply followed behind his father.
The two of them walked together making their way out of the clan compound and into the village. The guard that had let them in earlier was still there, but he didn't even bother to look their way as they left the compound. Whether there was a need for a guard when they were still technically within the village had crossed Keitaro's mind, but he chalked it up to Clans just being pretentious.
Keitaro pushed the thoughts of the clan out of his head and focused more on the sights around him. Even though he and his brother would head out to the park or the forest to play from time to time, he still hadn't really gotten to know the village in which he lived.
He kept his eyes peeled and his mouth closed as he took in everything around him. He looked at the various stores that sold everything from sweets to some incredibly sharp looking ninja tools. It was an ureal experience taking a stroll and window shopping in stores that sold weapons that were made with the intent to kill along side toiletries and snacks, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do.
It just to serve as another reminder that he really and truly had been reborn into a very different world.
Still some things seemed to be universal as he quickly noticed a few sketchy people who were definitely pick pockets. He noticed them only because of his tendency to read people around him. A habit that he hadn't quite managed to break from his time on the streets. Though such a habit may be more beneficial for him to have moving forward than to not in the shinobi world.
As Keitaro mused to himself, he didn't notice that instead of heading in the direction of home, Kuma was leading him down a very different road than normal. Of course Keitaro, who was completely unaware of this fact, continued to silently follow behind his father. It was only when Kuma stopped and turned to him that Keitaro realized that he didn't know this area of the village.
Kuma had led him to a small outdoor garden area. It was a beautiful space that seemed to over look a large potion of the village. There were all types of blooming flowers that covered practically every square inch of available space, and there were even small succulents arranged along the pathways in neat tidy rows. Several trees and shrubs that where purposefully grown into the shape pf archways, where placed through the flower garden, and while they covered the pathways with bits of shade, they were also in bloom, causing lots of flower petals to litter the pathway itself.
While the sight was truly magnificent, Keitaro wasn't too pleased at all the scents that bombarded his nose all at once. His sensitive nose, a feature that he had to thank the Inuzuka's for, immediately started running.
Still he glanced around and noticed that there where several benches sprinkled around the grass for visitor to sit at. There were several other people mucking already, but Kuma made his way to a secluded area towards one side of the garden that no one else seemed to want to occupy, before he sat down.
Keitaro, the ever obedient child made sure to sit quietly next to his dad and waited patiently for something to happen. He didn't have to wait too long though, as Kuma's deep voice soon resounded in his ear.
"This place was the were I took your mom on our fist date. Back then I was still a Genin and with the war that was going at the time, I wasn't sure if the next day was going to be my last. I'd always had a crush on your mother from the first time I laid eyes on her, and so I plucked up the courage to ask her out. You can imagine my joy when she'd said yes.
I was ecstatic and I wanted our fist date to be perfect. I packed a picnic basket and brought her here. There weren't as many flowers as they are now, but it was still beautiful back then and we had a wonderful time. Even though things weren't exactly perfect."
Kuma chuckled sadly and pointed to a tree of to the side.
"I'd chosen that very tree as our lunch spot. What I didn't know was that there was a wasp nest right above us. At some point her ninken started barking and it must have woke up the wasp or something. We ended up running all through the garden till we dove into the pond on the opposite side. It was a disaster as far as I was concerned, but your mom said that she'd had fun and couldn't wait for our next date.
That's when I knew I'd found the one.
She brought me so much joy and happiness that I didn't even hesitate to marry into her clan, a pretty controversial decision at the time, but one that I didn't think I would ever regret. As far as I was concerned, long as we had each other, I was content."
Keitaro watched on as his fathers eyes stated to mist over with tears. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to handle this situation. On one hand hearing about his mother was something he'd wanted for a very long time, but watching his fathers slowly crumble apart wasn't an experience he'd ever had before. So he kept listening ,while pretending not to see Kuma's tears.
"When I lost her, it felt like my whole world was crumbling down around me and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I caught myself wondering if I was going to be able to be a good a father for the two of you.
Things were so much easier when your mom was still here. She always seemed so confident about motherhood, and her confidence made me confident that she'd help me be the best father that I could be…but with her gone, it was like my guiding light had left me.
Then the clan just swooped in and confiscated all of her stuff and I resented them for it. I didn't care about rules and protecting secrets for the clan or any of that stuff. I just felt wronged, slighted and neglected by the people who should have treated me better. Who didn't even give me a chance to grieve my wife's passing, before they spat on her grave and desecrated our home.
So I left.
I didn't want anything to do with them and I was planning to never let you or your brother interact with them either. But I knew that that's not what your mother would have wanted. I kept you guys away from the clan, thinking it was better for you both, but I realize that I did it more so for myself than I did for you two and for that I'm sorry. I robbed you both of so much but I'm going to make it right.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry and that I'm going to make it up to you and your brother. That's a promise that I intend to keep."
Keitaro looked into his father eyes as the tears dribbled down his cheeks and felt his heart tighten in his chest. He bowed his head, breaking eye contact with Kuma as his mind starting running overtime. Why was he doing this? Why apologize for something that in a way was the right thing to do? Should he trust him? Could he trust him?
Images of his bastard of a father from before flashed through his mind and overlayed with Kuma's face. Could he really trust him? Afterall he hadn't gotten violent with him ever since he'd born, though he hadn't really given him a reason to be violent in the first place. But at the same time, Keitaro was tired of always walking on egg shells around a man who always seemed to give his all for him, a man who was always busy on missions just so he could provide for him and his brother. A father who worried about them more than anything else in the world.
He wanted to believe in him, to truly believe that he finally had a father that cared for him, but he just couldn't shake the voice in the back of his head telling him to be careful. A voice that he tried and failed to quiet, a voice that promised him that it was only a matter of time before things went terribly wrong. A voice that kept repeating a single question over and over again.
Keitaro could feel his breath catching in his throat but he needed to know that he could trust him, he need assurance that he wasn't going to get hurt by this decision in the future and even though asking this question might open a pandoras box, in a way, he'd rather be proven right in his decision not to trust in, Kuma than to keep dancing around the topic.
"Why don't you hate for killing mom?"
Keitaro felt a weight lift off his shoulder once he'd finally voiced his doubts out loud. He looked up at his father to see several emotions flicker across his eyes as the silence stretched on between them.
A feeling of unease bubbled up in the pit of Keitaro's stomach but it petered out once Kuma started laughing. Small chuckles at first that evolved into full blown bellows that echoed around them.
Kuma, once he'd finished laughing, sat once more on the bench and pulled Keitaro into his lap and hugged him gently.
Keitaro was stunned as a feeling a warmth that he'd come to associate with his mother was once more engulfing him, though this warmth wasn't just one of acceptance and love, but one of safety as well.
Kuma gently patted him on the head as he spoke softly to him.
"When your mom got pregnant with Kentaro we were distraught. The Third great Shinobi War was still ongoing and we weren't sure what was going to happen. It was the worst possible time to start a family but it was already our reality. We were frantic and uncertain, but once he was born it was like nothing mattered in the world besides him, and things just kept getting better.
The war ended shortly after he was born and both your mother and I were promoted. We had started a budding family and even though we lost friends and loved ones to the war, we were happy.
When we found out that your mom was pregnant again with you, we were all thrilled at having another addition to the family. Especially since your mom wasn't supposed to be able to have gotten pregnant again.
She had gotten injured while pregnant with Kentaro and it had never healed properly. So imagine our surprise when we found out you were on the way.
But things just didn't go well, and her second pregnancy was filled with complications. The medical-nin wanted her to terminate the pregnancy since the chances of you surviving were so low, but your mom refused. She wanted to bring you into this world no matter what and even as she delt with the pain and agony of the pregnancy she never once complained, never once did she regret bringing you into the world and neither did I.
I may have lost your mom, but she gave me two bundles of joy in the forms of you and your brother. That's why you were named Keitaro. You are blessed and you are a blessing to both me and your mother. I could never blame you for her death and I never will. I love you and your brother and that will never change.
You don't have to worry about that, and you don't need to blame yourself for your mothers death. If she was here to hear you I'm willing to bet she'd smack you across the head before making sure you understood just how much she cared about you. The best thing you could do in remembrance of her, is live your life to the fullest."
Keitaro's mind froze as he let his fathers words wash over him. All the fear and guilt that had plagued him since he'd been reborn, all the self loathing that he'd hidden away, all seemingly melted away, leaving behind a sense of peace that engulfed him.
For the first time in his life he turned too his dad and hugged him tightly. He held onto him and cried quietly as his father gently held him.
Hiding his tears by lowering his head he simply allowed himself to be consoled.
They sat there for a while until Keitaro was ready to go. They left the garden and started walking home, but this time there was no silence. Keitaro and Kuma chatted and laughed with each other as they walked, cutting a prefect picture of a loving father and his beloved son.
