19 The Sith Lord That Wasn't

Blanket disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Star Wars

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Here is Chapter 19. Enjoy!

{ } Signifies an alien language

…

Last time:

21 BBY

Asajj Ventress's Starfighter

Ventress was a bundle of nerves. She'd had enough for one day. It was bad enough that Naruto had rattled her cage with his light saber style and defeated her. Worse still he seemed to be able to at least act like a Sith. She couldn't really tell what the blonde enigma was.

"A dog cannot have two Masters you fool. I have an apprentice." was what Uzumaki said when Dooku seemed to be willing to just toss her his way.

'Does Dooku really value me that little?' she thought to herself. 'Dooku is over 80. Uzumaki is younger than I am by a few years. Hmmm… Uzumaki fought with Dooku before and sent him running at one point.' She thought for a bit and said, "Perhaps this was all a test… Or perhaps it's time I found a new Master. Just what are you Uzumaki Naruto?"

Then she remembered a person who had crossed swords with Naruto more than anybody: Ventress' fellow Dark Acolyte, the Lethan Twi'lek, Shior Atlee. 'That Twi'lek is loony but she might be willing to help me given she's crazy about Naruto. Now where could I find her and her Master Rena Fenn right now?'

Looking through her database, Asajj found the pair of Twi'leks and their Corellian transport Gemini were currently on the desert world of Tatooine at Mos Espa spaceport. 'Looks like I'm headed towards the Outer Rim once more.' She punched in the coordinates for the Arkanis Sector and her ship jumped into hyperspace…

…

Chapter 19

Year 21 BBY

Outer Rim Territories, Arkanis Sector, Planet Tatooine, Mos Espa Spaceport

Asajj Ventress came into Mos Espa having landed her starfighter at the outskirts of the city so she wouldn't have to pay docking fees. Following the Force, the Dathomirian female soon located the pair of Twi'leks working on a repair/refit on their YT-1250 transport Gemini.

Ventress saw the master and apprentice were in work coveralls with welder's goggles on and wanted to laugh given they were both prone to wearing outfits that left little to the imagination. She knocked on the metal panel on the side of the Gemini and got their attention.

Rena kept working but Shior came down the boarding ramp and asked, "Asajj, what brings you out to this sandbox?"

The Dathomirian half grinned and said, "I could ask you the same thing but it looks like you are here for repairs. I need information."

"What's it worth ta you?" asked Rena from up above.

Ventress groaned. "I should have seen this coming. I want information on Jedi Master Naruto Uzumaki."

"Are you planning to kill him?" asked Shior. There was a hiss in her voice that gave Ventress the chills.

"No, I'm trying to figure him out." said the Dathomirian. "Dooku is afraid of him."

Rena and Shior got matching smirks on their faces. "Two days of physical labor on the Gemini and you'll get your information." said Rena.

Asajj sighed. "Two days labor; it's a deal." Then she got hit in the face with a pair of coveralls.

"Put those on and come up topside." said the Rutian Twi'lek. "Shior, get back to work."

The Lethan Twi'lek chirped, "Okay!" and headed back up the boarding ramp to work inside.

…

Two days later the exhausted Ventress closed up the last panel and was handed a bottle of cold Elba Beer*①. "Come inside the ship and take a load off." said Shior. "Then we can give you your information."

The next morning Asajj woke up with a hangover and saw Rena Fenn hovering over her looking fresh as a daisy. The Rutian Twi'lek asked, "Are you awake in there Ventress? I think you had a few too many last night."

The Dathomirian crawled out of her bunk and sat down with the other two. Then she said, "Now about my information."

Shior opened another beer and said, "What is it you want to know about Naruto?"

Asajj said, "Dooku is convinced that Uzumaki is a Sith Lord."

The two Twi'leks sat there in silence before exploding into laughter. "Bwahahaha! You have got to be kidding me!" said Shior. "Heeheehee!"

Rena Fenn was no better and was laughing herself sick. "Ahahaha! Maybe it's the morning beer fog but I think you'd do great as a stand-up comedian! You said that with a straight face. Are you serious?!"

Ventress was a bit mortified. "Look; I'm telling the truth here. Dooku really believes Naruto is a Sith. He is deathly afraid of Uzumaki. Tyranus even invited Naruto to Castle Serenno as a friend. He wants to become allies."

Shior got herself under control and said, "So you want to know where Naruto really stands? I mean his ancestress was one of the most totally badass Sith Lords there ever was."

Now Asajj curiosity was piqued. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Naruto is the direct descendant of Darth Zannah from a thousand years ago." said Shior. "She's a powerful Force Spirit. She told Naruto and I herself that she was his grandmother umpteen times removed. Naruto looks just like her."

"Are you sure she was telling the truth?" asked Ventress.

Shior nodded. "Yeah, she was the real deal an acts a lot like Naruto. Dooku went to her gravesite to look for Sith secrets and artifacts. He came up with nothing. I read up on her later. Darth Zannah was the first and only apprentice to Darth Bane who invented the Rule of Two. Believe me, she was hard core."

"So Uzumaki has the blood of a Sith Lord in his veins…" said the Dathomirian. "Is that why Dooku is afraid of him?"

"Nope; Dooku doesn't know a thing about Naruto's connection with Darth Zannah." said the Lethan Twi'lek with a giggle. "Naruto used some Force technique that had Dooku screaming for help it was so bad. I had to rush the old man to Lord Sidious for medical aid. It almost cost Dooku his right arm and leg."

"But you're sure Naruto isn't a Sith." said Ventress.

Rena chuckled. "The Ceremony on Onderon was a failure. Naruto's not a Sith Lord and never will be. But hell, it's a great practical joke. Let Sidious and Tyranus believe he's a Sith. Naruto outfoxed them so they probably want to believe he's a Sith just to sooth their bruised egos."

Asajj got an evil grin, "And here I thought you two were loyal to Count Dooku."

Shior yawned. "We were just as loyal as you are. But when we pieced together that he considered us disposable we struck out on our own. He's just our part time employer now, not our Master."

"How do you two make ends meet then?" asked the Dathomirian.

"Bounty hunting." said Rena. "You should join us sometime. We could use a reliable ally."

"I'll think about it." said Asajj. "I never realized just how little Dooku thinks of me until recently. I think carrying on as if Uzumaki is a Sith Lord might be a good way to pay the old man back."

Shior smiled wickedly. "Keep us in the loop. This could be fun."

…

Core Worlds, Planet Coruscant, Grand Jedi Temple, High Jedi Council Chambers

They Masters of the High Jedi Council were collectively sweat dropping at the holographic image of Naruto having a massive fit of giggles.

"Guess who the newest, biggest, baddest Sith Lords on the block are, Masters! Naruto Uzumaki and his apprentice Barris Offee! They are so good at being bad that even the High Jedi Council doesn't know!" said the blonde Renatasian Jedi Master between laughs.

Obi-wan picked his jaw up off the floor and asked, "Naruto, what are you talking about? I'm a bit confused."

"Like daughter, like Father…" muttered Yoda.

Mace Windu said, "Naruto, please give us your report."

Naruto bowed, wiped a tear from his eye and smiled in a vulpine way. "Asajj Ventress delivered a message to me in person while I was aboard the Cato Neimoidia. It was a holographic communication from Darth Tyranus. He invited me to come to Castle Serenno to discuss things as a fellow Sith Lord."

Yoda's ears were up in alarm. "Shitting me, you are!"

"Nope." replied the whisker faced prankster. He held up a communicator and said, "This is a direct line to Count to Dooku."

Mace Windu was sweating. "Did Dooku seriously believe you were a Sith Lord?"

"He was as serious as a heart attack." said Naruto. "He even offered to hand over Asajj Ventress as a servant."

"What did you do Naruto?" asked Plo Koon in disbelief.

The Renatasian replied, "I acted like a Sith Lord and played along of course... I told him I'd think about it."

"How do you know how to act like a Sith Lord?" queried Obi-wan dreading the answer.

"I met with the Force spirit of one Master Obi-wan." said Naruto. "The other members of the Council are aware of it. It was when I faced off with Dooku alone. Remind me and I'll tell you about it sometime."

Ki-Adi-Mundi asked, "So what exactly does Dooku want from you if he thinks you are a Sith Lord?"

Naruto pondered a moment and said, "If you follow the Rule of Two then it's either a trap for me or Darth Tyranus wishes to form an alliance to betray Darth Sidious. I can't imagine it being a true offer of friendship if that's what any of you are thinking. The Rule of Two is ironclad; no more, no less."

Master Plo questioned, "What if Dooku tried to expose you?"

"He already threatened to do that, I told him to go ahead and do it." the blond answered.

"What was his reaction?" asked Master Windu.

The Renatasian replied, "He seemed a little shaken. It was as if the wind had been taken out of his sails."

"Hmmm… From a position of power, you spoke." said Yoda. "Made him yield in deference… Ponder on this, we must. A great burden put upon you Master Uzumaki."

…

Core Worlds, Kuat Sector, Planet Kuat Shipyards, Republic Ship Intrepid

"We're coming into dock sir." said the helmsman to Captain Franz. "…Docking complete."

The Communications Officer said, "The Cato Neimoidia has also completed docking sir. It looks like our capture job was a complete success."

"Outstanding work everyone." said Franz. "Let's retrieve our prize crew off the Cato Neimoidia and get them back aboard the Intrepid."

"Incoming message from high command Captain." said the Communications Officer. "It's Fleet Admiral Tredal."

"I'll take it in my office." said Rom. 'What could the Fleet Admiral want with me?' he wondered worriedly.

Admiral Tredal was an older human man with white hair and steely gray eyes. He stared down Rom before the Captain could say a thing. Then the old Admiral said, "Captain Rom Franz… I saw you and your men captured a new weapon of the CIS. Well done."

"Thank you, sir!" replied Rom.

Admiral Tredal said, "It seems your Jedi General aboard has brought up charges of Gross Incompetence against Jedi General Ezzo Mirin. This is rather unprecedented as the Jedi typically deal with their own rather than going through military channels."

"Yes sir. Jedi General Uzumaki was appalled at our losses and believes the blame lies solely on General Mirin's shoulders."

"Would you agree with General Uzumaki's assessment of his fellow Jedi General?" asked Tredal.

"I would sir." said Franz without hesitation.

Tredal stared hard and said, "Are you willing to testify against Jedi General Ezzo Mirin?"

Rom Franz eyes turned predatory and he said, "Absolutely sir."

Ten minutes later a statement had been recorded and Captain Franz came out of his quarters. There he saw Commander Checker waiting for him. The Clone Commander said, "I just got out of Communications with the top brass."

"As did I." said Captain Franz. "They asked me to testify against Mirin for Gross Incompetence. I said yes."

"Same here." said Checker. "Gross Incompetence is a serious accusation, General Uzumaki said he was going to ruin Mirin but I didn't expect him to go for the jugular like that."

"I didn't either but General Uzumaki is unpredictable." replied Rom.

"Ain't that the truth." said Checker with a grin.

…

Naruto's Quarters

Mace Windu was talking to Naruto via hologram. "My question is, why did you go to the Military instead of the Jedi Council about this matter?"

Naruto frowned, "You know why Master. An example has to be made. Mirin cost us the lives of 252 good men for absolutely nothing, nothing! I won't stand for it. The Jedi Council has been keeping quiet about it because of our public image. The public needs to see that we Jedi aren't above the law and that we are held accountable when we make mistakes."

Mace sighed, "The Council was aware of Ezzo Mirin's actions. We keep tabs on our Jedi."

"And no doubt the Council would have kept it hidden just like with my daughter!" growled the blonde.

"The Council of Reassignment-" started Master Windu.

Naruto cut him off. "The Council of Reassignment needs a thorough overhaul. I've read their rules. It's about time the Jedi start showing the public we are people too. It will help our image, not hurt it. I stand by my decision to press charges against Ezzo Mirin. I'm going to see that butcher censured and thrown out of the fleet. With the lack of respect he has for life I fail to see how he became a Jedi to begin with."

Mace nodded. "I do understand and you are exercising your rights as a Jedi. But next time, I ask that you talk to the Jedi Council before taking such drastic steps."

The Renatasian said, "I will try Master but I will do what I must."

"May the Force be with you Master Uzumaki." said Master Windu as the hologram faded out.

…

Barriss was meditating on the Force when her Master came in. She asked, "What did the Council say?"

"Master Windu informed me that my actions were a bit radical …in so many words." answered the blonde.

She smiled and said, "I can only imagine what you said in return."

Naruto replied "I told them I will do what I must."

"You shouldn't go against the will of the Council Master Naruto." said Barriss.

"I'm only following the will of the Force my apprentice." spoke the blonde. "As I've told you before; the Force is more than just dark and light. There are many shades of gray."

"And Natasi?" asked the padawan. "She has so much potential."

He sighed. "I briefly considered leaving the Jedi Order over that. I decided not to in the end. However, I intend to be part of her life whether the Council of Reassignment likes it or not."

Barriss replied, "That I agree with totally Master."

…

Core Worlds, Planet Coruscant, Galactic Senate Building, Supreme Chancellor's Quarters

Sheev Palpatine was reading a memo regarding Jedi General Ezzo Mirin. It seemed that General Naruto Uzumaki was bringing Mirin up on charges of Gross Incompetence. 'So Naruto sets a shining example by bringing that bumbling idiot to justice. The public will eat this up and Naruto will be considered a paragon of virtue. What a brilliant move for a Sith Lord. Young Uzumaki has upped the ante once again. I'll be watching this with great interest.'

…

That evening, Darth Sidious was talking to his apprentice Darth Tyranus via hologram. "It seems that Young Master Naruto is bolstering his public image my friend. Wouldn't you agree?" asked Palpatine.

"He is also proving to us that he can move with impunity among the Jedi." said Dooku. "He truly has no fear of me exposing him."

Palpatine chuckled darkly. "So you threatened to expose him to the Jedi?" seeing Tyranus nod; Sidious asked, "How did he react?"

"He just said to go ahead and do it. It was as if he was discussing the weather." replied Dooku. "I'll be interested in seeing how this trial goes."

Sidious was pondering whether or not Naruto could take Count Dooku's place He had long been grooming Anakin Skywalker for the role but Naruto was far more clever it seemed. "I foresee Jedi General Ezzo Mirin's fall from grace being a harsh one. I've seen his record. He's lost more clones than anyone in the Republic Fleet."

"Seeing Ezzo Mirin's head roll will certainly snap the Jedi into line; of that there is no doubt." spoke Tyranus.

"Now I see why Naruto didn't take a seat on the Jedi Council. He can maneuver more freely from the outside. I hate to admit it but the boy is quite brilliant." added Palpatine. "We need to bring him into the fold quickly Lord Tyranus."

"I'll see if I can speed up the process my lord." said Count Dooku.

…

Core Worlds, Kuat Sector, Planet Kuat Shipyards, Republic Ship Defiance

A week later the Venator-Class Sta Destroyer Defiance successfully docked two berths down from the Intrepid. Jedi General Ezzo Mirin was enraged about his situation. The High Jedi Council had advised him to step down from his position rather than face of with Uzumaki publicly.

'What do they see in Uzumaki anyway?' thought Ezzo. 'I'm older, smarter and more experienced in the ways of war. I've proven time and again to be a brilliant tactician. I can't believe that the Council hasn't forced Uzumaki to drop the charges. Gross Incompetence; me? Bah! What a farce. I'll make a fool of Uzumaki at that trial!'

…

Republic Ship Intrepid

Naruto was surprised to hear that he had an incoming message from Jedi Ezzo Mirin. Naruto was sitting on a meditation cushion in his regular robes when he turned on his holographic communicator and saw Mirin for the first time. Ezzo was wearing some sort of semi military uniform that made him look like a bird posing there in fancy plumage.

"So you are Naruto Uzumaki." said Ezzo derisively. "I hope you are prepared for some serious humiliation. Don't expect me to hold back when I make an absolute fool of you. I'm one of the most brilliant Knights in the Jedi order. You're just an idiot from a backwater system."

The blonde thought, 'I'd foreseen that Mirin wouldn't back down but to be such a narcissist? This is bad comedy.'

"Well?" asked Mirin. "Haven't you got something to say?"

"I'm sorry; did you say something? I was kind of lost in thought there." said Naruto in a bored tone.

"WWHHAAAATT?!" screeched Mirin. "I said to PAY ATTENTION when your betters are talking to you!"

Naruto smiled and said, "Oh! I do that but since I 'm a Jedi Master and you are just a Jedi Knight…"

Ezzo growled, "I'm better than you in every way Uzumaki! I'm smarter, stronger, better looking and descended of noble blood!"

The Renatasian raised an eyebrow. 'Better looking?!' he thought. Finally Naruto spoke up after Mirin extoled his own virtues for another ten minutes. "Well, I'm glad we had this little talk. It gives me a good idea of what kind of self-aggrandizing egomaniac you really are. I'll see you in court Ezzo Mirin."

As Naruto turned off his communicator he heard Ezzo say, "Wait! Aren't you going to-"

Barriss Offee had been there through most of the conversation and said, "…So in essence he wants you to bow down at the altar to his ego?"

The whiskered blonde grinned. "I believe that was exactly what he said… that and he's better looking than me."

"And that makes a difference how?" asked the Mirialan.

"I don't know for certain." replied the Jedi Master. "I think he has this trial mistaken for a beauty contest."

…

Core Worlds, Planet Coruscant, Galactic Senate Building, Galactic Senate Chamber

It took two weeks before the trial was fully organized by the Senate and many there hearing the opening statements realized that Naruto Uzumaki was grounded in cold, hard facts and Ezzo Mirin was grounded in exaggeration and hyperbole. Mirin was so busy with embellishing himself that even those initially supporting him were dropping out fast.

The trail lasted for hours until Jedi General Ezzo Marin was clearly proven to be an utterly incompetent leader. The Supreme Chancellor said, "The decision by the Senate has been made. By overwhelming majority; Ezzo Mirin is stripped of his rights to be a General in the Grand Army of the Republic."

Mirin was enraged.

"This does not mean he cannot continue to faithfully serve as a member of the Jedi Order in a suitable capacity as deemed by the Jedi Council." said the Supreme Chancellor.

Some Jedi were outraged but others were humbled. One thing was certain to the public. The Jedi were as interested in justice as the Republic was and Jedi Master Naruto Uzumaki was a force of justice.

Palpatine said in his closing statements; "As Supreme Chancellor, it is obvious to me that both the Republic and the Jedi Order are striving to do our best to bring peace and justice back to the galaxy… and together we shall succeed."

The proceedings were quickly closed and Naruto was headed back towards the Intrepid when he was stopped by a summons from the Jedi Council. Naruto wanted to ignore it but answered regardless.

…

Grand Jedi Temple, High Jedi Council Chambers

Naruto arrived and bowed before the Jedi Council. He saw that his padawan Barriss Offee was there as well as Anakin Skywalker and his padawan Ahsoka Tano. "I have come as the Council Ordered Masters; how may I be of service?" asked the blonde.

Master Plo koon said, "We have been discussing your recent actions and believe that your decision to remove Ezzo Mirin from his position as a General was the correct one."

Naruto was surprised as he was expecting a tongue lashing. Mace Windu added, "Mirin is currently being investigated as he lied to the High Council about his actions and the consequent losses of men just to keep his position. We had no idea he had become so arrogant and corrupt."

Obi-wan spoke. "The Council has come to the agreement that those who wish to serve as generals need to go through some serious training as you suggested. Initially we were divided on the subject but all are in agreement now. Jedi Ezzo Mirin made your point crystal clear."

"Helped the Jedi Order; you have." said Yoda. "Strained; our relations with the public had become."

"The public responded very positively to your actions." stated Master Plo. "We were concerned it would be a fiasco for the Jedi Order but it has gone in the other direction."

"That being said; we wondered if you would be willing to assess some of our other Jedi Generals." said Ki-Adi-Mundi.

Naruto shook his head and replied, "I'm glad the Council feels this way but I have no desire to be some sort of inquisitor. My reputation is colorful enough as it is."

Obi-wan smiled. "Actually you have a sterling reputation among the citizens of the Republic and the Military as of now. You're quite popular."

The blonde said, "Popular or not I'm afraid that we have a war going on."

"True." said Grandmaster Yoda in approval. "An assignment, you have to carry out."

"The Planet Murkhana*② in the Tion Sector has a massive HoloNet relay*③ that needs to be shut down." explained Master Windu. "It is the main source of CIS propaganda transmissions in the Outer Rim. We've decided that you, General Skywalker and your padawans will be carrying out the operation."

Anakin came over with Barriss and Ahsoka in tow. "It looks like we have some serious planning to do partner." said Skywalker. "We've only got three Star Destroyers between us so we'll have to make it count."

"Three..?" asked Naruto.

Skywalker beamed. "I've got the Resolute and you've got the Intrepid. We'll be joined by the Defiance. Her new Captain's name is Wilhuff Tarkin."

The blonde groaned. "Wilhuff Tarkin as in the Planetary Governor of Eriadu? Oh boy…"

"You know him?" asked Barriss curiously.

The Renatasian Jedi Master nodded. "When I was a padawan, my Master Bultar Swan and I saved his son's life. He doesn't care for the Jedi at all. He'll still need to be in on the planning though so just be forewarned."

…

Core Worlds, Kuat Sector, Planet Kuat Shipyards, Republic Ship Intrepid

Jedi General Uzumaki was on the Flag Bridge with the other officers that were going to be in on the Murkhana raid. Captain Wilhuff Tarkin came over to greet the blonde and said, "It's been a long time General Uzumaki. I have to say that you removing that fool of a General Ezzo Mirin restored some of my faith in the Jedi Order."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "I was under the impression that you didn't have any faith in the Jedi Order Captain Tarkin."

Wilhuf smirked. "Let's just say I know you and General Skywalker know how to get a job done. Most Jedi aren't as tactically or strategically sound as you two."

"We Jedi were trained to be peacekeepers; that doesn't always equate into being a good General." stated Naruto.

"And I wholeheartedly agree with you." said Tarkin. "Just what are you planning to do at Murkhana?"

"We will all be discussing that during our planning session Captain." replied Naruto. "That's why you were invited. We're all going to be on the same page when we hit that planet. Confederacy ships will be coming in quickly to protect that world so we will have to strike first, strike hard and strike fast. No matter how we do it, Murkhana's Holonet System has to be removed from the equation."

…

POSTSCRIPT:

*①: Elba Beer -is an alcoholic beverage brewed on the planet Bonadon from Elba grain. It is sometimes sold in a bottle with an "E" on the side.

*②: Murkhana is a planet in the Outer Rim Territories. Known for its natural beauty, it is a major tourist attraction. During the Clone Wars, the world became the headquarters of the Corporate Alliance and became a major Separatist bastion.

*③: Holonet relay is the source of all Holonet communications on the planet Murkhana. During the Clone Wars, it is utilized by the Confederacy of Independent Systems to transmit Separatist propaganda transmissions to Republic worlds.

Next chapter will be the Battle of Murkhana. What will our favorite blonde Sith Lord do? See you next time, Blue out. 3/9/24