2 Epic Grow-up Time

Sucking the titties from my Mum wasn't as akward as i thought. I mean there is no sexual interest in me yet so i guess it has something to do with the fact that i could only sleep, poop and eat?

Besides i am only awake like 2 minutes per day? The rest just annoyed me, it hurt like shit when somebody dared to interrupt my sleep. Do you know the feeling when somebody woke you up and you have the headache cause you was in some deep sleep phase? That but much worse.

Thus my life continued as i slept, pooped and sucked the titties. Most of the time i didn't even cared what my parents talked after i realized that none of them were ninjas. Since they mostly talked about gossip stuff like who has the cutest son/daughter in the neighbourhood.

Naturally some information were important but if you could think a little bit logical it wouldn't be hard to guess the information. Appearently my Father owned a big restaurant with around 15 Members.

He was a cook, while my mother was the accountant for the restaurant. However she took a break after i was born.

Both of them looked normal, brown hair and brown eyes. Like everyday average Joe`s.

Not that i complained about their looks, their love was real. It felt really warm even though i had another family... eh? I can't remember the names of my first family, neither can i remember their looks!

My only memory was that they once existed.

"Mama, mama can i hold him?" cried an annoying voice.

"I'd rather not give you Hashirama again, he always cries when you hold him...." said a soothing voice with a worried tone.

It was a shock when i realized my mother named me after the first Hokage, but i think it's the same with Sasuke, after all he also got named after a famous dude.

"Mama pleaaaaseeeeeeeee." nagged the annoying voice.

Damn it's that little girl again. Always squeezing my baby meat too hard. She even threw me into the air! Holy moly there is something wrong, you don't throw a baby into the air when the baby is crying snodder and tears out after the first time. And she threw me without any remorse a second and even third time!

I shall have my revenge.

"Mmmh, but this time don't play with him high so high okay Akami? I don't think he likes it." said my mama with a gentle smile.

WHAT are you doing woman? Handling me to that demon?

AAAAAWAAAAAAAAAWAAA! I screamed my soul out of my body once Akami that demon wanted to touch me.

"Shhhhshhh sleep baby sleep." said my mother in a gentle tone while she proceeded to stop the baby exchange between Akami and her.

"Mama, why doesn't little brother like me." asked the demon Akami in a seemingly innocent voice.

YOU DARE TO ASK THAT? My mind screemed inwardly, truly, the pure are the scariest.

And thus my babyhood continued in an epic manner as i learned how to shit into a potty and sometimes peed into my bed. I "learned" from my parents that ninjas or how they call it shinobis exist and protect the village of the fire and that there is a will of the fire in the village in where i live.

Naturally they introduced me to the 4 Hokage who are the protectors of the village. They even gave me some toy shurikens and one toy kunai.

I was really happy as i realized i was born into Konoha, after all God didn't let me have specific wishes.

Life continued as i grew up to be a cute boy running around with my toys. I still got my shurikens and my kunai. Mom often took me to the playground and we mostly played ninja protecting the village.

It felt surreal, i a former 18 year old playing with little kids? However it worked pretty well and i even cried when i hurt my knee.

I wanted to visit or even meet naruto however i kinda got the feeling that it would be impossible. After all it's an open secret that naruto is the nine tailed beast. So i doubt that normal parents would allow their children to play with such a monster.

Thinking for a while i realized why naruto got to know the clan heirs so well. After all no clan wanted to have a sour relationship with the Jinchuuriki.

Just throwing a random remark the system gifted by god is literally useless. I can't buy anything and there are no quest, no cheat function and no status screen. It felt like real life except the fact that i can see a <Body Upgrade 10%> when i open my system.

My Sixth Birthday arrived withing the blink of an eye.

"Hashirama, you got to be a strong ninja. Care for yourself and try to prioritize your life above all others, okay?" said a man with tears in his eyes while patting my shoulder. It was my Dad.

"Yeah and if you fail sensing chakra it doesn't matter, there are more schools to attend. Like Akami, she is now attending a cooking school to take over business. It is even outside of the village so there should be a lot of experience." said Mother while hugging me after the speech of my Father.

Nodding i walked into the academy while glancing backwards, seeing my parents waving into my direction.

To say the truth i was overly attached to my family. I even started to like Akami the demon since she cooked for me when mom and dad had a lot to do in the restaurant. The restaurant started to flourish, they even started expanding in another town and my family restaurant now boasted about 50 members.

"Next one." said a guy with a scar on his nose.

That's Iruka Sensei! Finally meeting someone from the story.

Walking in front of him Iruka smiled.

"Hi i am a Sensei at school, can you tell me if you feel something and if yes then tell me right or left."

I waited while Iruka put his hands on my shoulder.

I waited... and waited and ... it couldn't be right? I don't feel anything!

Does that mean that i will have to study... cooking, become an ordinary human with no ninja-ability?