11 Chapter 11

Hours later, the ANBU agent stood in front of his locker, stripping his armor from his body. The last thing he removed was his mask. He now stood in his street clothes. A set that hadn't changed since he was young. Black T-shirt, black pants, and black sandals with his necklace dangling in the middle of his chest. Exhaustion in his eyes and a soar body to go along with it, he shut his locker.

Walking out of the locker room, the seventeen year old trudged through the grey hall down until he reached the head commander's quarters where he was told to go when he returned. Wordlessly, he knocked on the door awaiting the command to enter. When the voice called out to him, he opened the door and slowly walked in. He took a seat in the chair opposite the man across the desk. A bald man with coal black eyes, Captain Yosha, pierced into his own blues with a false bravado that made a fair attempt at masking his sympathy.

"Namikaze…" he began, stopping as he lost the words he was prepared to say, losing himself in the cold seas in the teen's eyes. "I uh… how are you doing?" he asked suddenly.

The blonde had absolutely no movement, not a single blink. "I am well, Captain Yosha." He replied with slight fluctuations in his tone. His lack of physical expression making it a much creepier response than it was meant to be. "How are you?"

The Captain looked at him in curiosity, not even attempting to hide the fact that he didn't believe him. "I'm uh… I'm fine. Naruto, the reason you are here today, is because a few of your comrades have expressed their worry when working with you… They say you've become more reckless than you usually are…"

Naruto held his motionless visage. "What a strange grievance." He remarked.

"Well, until you have seen Inoichi-san for evaluation, I am afraid I must place you on leave." Captain Yosha said, noticing the very slight reaction of the blonde's jaw clenching up. "Once you are cleared in your evaluation, you may return to service. Please turn in your mask." He finished as he began filling out documents, accenting the fact that the conversation was not up for debate.

Naruto stared at the wall in thought for a few more seconds. Standing up, he pulled his mask from his back pouch and set it down onto his desk. "I bid you a good day, Captain Yosha." He said as he turned to leave receiving only a grunt of confirmation.

-break-

Walking through the street, he looked up into the shower of the rain above him. Shutting his eyes to protect them from the falling droplets. Hands in his pockets and no destination in mind, he strolled along in silence. Nothing to distract himself. It was another day of feeling absolutely exhausted. Feeling undeniably drained, yet being unable to keep himself from doing something, anything that could cloud his mind.

The past three years were the most eventful years of his life. It was expected however as his family was very unique. Mito and Menma becoming Genin last year seemed to be where it started. They were thrown on a team with Sasuke of course, and were handed over to Kakashi. Their rookie class became renowned among the village just a few months ago due to their performance within the Chunin exams. The event went off without a hitch and came down, surprisingly, to some extremely great matches during the semifinals. Eventually, his brother claimed victory over the entire competition.

Aside from that, the kids always seemed to find themselves in some very interesting altercations. From fending off A-rank ninja, to saving important individuals, the list went on and on.

Life went on and on, no matter what happened, it went on and on. Through the years, Naruto has known many emotions and has experienced them himself. He's felt fear, anger, joy, content, happiness… but, the one thing he lacked to a very extreme degree was love. It had been absent within his heart as he watched those around him become ensnared in it. Seeing Itachi and Izumi moving in together, watching as his younger brother slowly fell in love with the pink haired girl he had met all those years ago. Even the budding romance of Sasuke and Mito.

To Naruto, it seemed as though love was all around, yet out of his reach. For he was always around people that overshadowed him. Whether it be Itachi, Menma, or even his father who seemed to just refuse to age. He had come to terms with it a long time ago. He was jealous, not of their significant others specifically, but of the admiration they received. He was just as accomplished as anyone, yet he wasn't seen, wasn't heard, he wasn't even really noticed. It was just like before. His life was on a constant cycle of never being someone's main priority or focus. It was a selfish desire he had a few years back, when there weren't any other problems to focus on.

That was something he found strange. Why is it that certain things become problems due to a simple lack of conflict? When he was in his pessimistic state of mind, his problems were a lot deeper than a simple lack of affection. But, as soon as he made peace with that part of himself, small things became the things he obsessed on. It's almost as if we, as human beings, thrive on struggle more so than anything. It was a possible theory that would explain most of what we do. We search for love, because love ultimately and eventually incites conflict in some way. We go to war in hopes of being alive long enough to tell our story. All for the sake of proving our own worth by making it through more traumatizing experiences than any other. As if that would somehow make you a better person than whoever it is you try and talk down on.

A crazy theory he had of course, but it was something that was definitely a possibility. Regardless, he craved that level of human interaction more so than anything. He wanted to be important to someone in some way. He wanted the villagers to admire him the way they did Itachi. He made it to ANBU at 11 years old too, so where was his congratulations? He wanted to be respected like Menma, I mean, they shared the same last name. The same resemblance to the man they associated him with, why wasn't he treated like a celebrity? Was he wrong for feeling that way?

If you had asked him a few months ago, the answer would have been a resounding yes. It was completely wrong to be so selfish. The optimistic views instilled in him by his friend contorted his mind into some kind of new found naivety that he doubted he ever had to begin with. Itachi's words to him that day were misinterpreted. To Naruto, Itachi was saying to always look towards the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. After a few weeks of practicing the new tactic, it became second nature. It became a part of his mentality altogether.

Now he knew, Itachi wasn't saying to only focus on the positive. He was saying to look towards the positive while being aware of the negative. Naruto just cut the latter off completely, blinding himself from the world around him. But, just like the character in his new book, the world just seemed to laugh at him.

His new book explained his situation fairly well. It was just a continuous series of bad events that broke him down mentally and physically. A constant stream of misfortune that seemed too chronological to be random. The world was punishing him for something he had never done. He didn't understand why, or what to do because of it. The premise of the book involved the antagonist explaining how easily it is for a sane man to end up just like him. How easy it is for one to lose their mind. It was a detective novel of course that involved the protagonist searching high and low for the insane man, but for some reason, the antagonist stole the story.

It was a dark book that discussed a lot of topics going on in today's society and the great wars of the past. Naruto had read it at least a hundred times through since he got it. He was reading it right now in fact, as he memorized every line of every page. A rare find for him, he fell in love with the story.

Stopping at last, he was in front of the interrogation building, which is where the psychological evaluations were also underwent. He trudged into the building, not worried about the wet state of his clothes as he noticed the ground was wet regardless. He walked through the building until he reached the office of the head psychiatric doctor, Inoichi Yamanaka. He knocked on the door. Hearing the muffled 'enter' from inside, he opened the door.

Inoichi was finishing paper work, until he glanced up quickly to see the blonde. "Ah, Naruto." He said finishing the document. Naruto took a seat in the chair in front of his desk, just as he had earlier that morning, he waited patiently, motionlessly. When Inoichi finally set his paperwork aside, he sat up straighter in his seat with his fingers interlocked on the desk in front of him. "I was not expecting to see you so soon."

"Hello Inoichi-san." Naruto greeted the man. Still that false fluctuation riddling his voice that just did not go well with the frozen look he displayed.

Inoichi intently examined the boy trying to see some physical indicators that would possibly interfere with the examination. He didn't have to look far, as his eyes said it all. It looked as if he hadn't slept in days. Trying to see if maybe the boy just wanted to speak of something else before he sent him on his way, Inoichi began. "So, what can I help you with?"

"I was told to receive an evaluation from yourself Inoichi-san. A few of my co-workers fear I am unfit to serve." He explained.

Inoichi just watched him attentively. His eyes traveled his form noting all of the small signs that just screamed that the kid was not right. Nodding his head slowly, Inoichi pulled his documents back to the center of his desk. "Well, I am very sorry to say, but I cannot give you a proper evaluation. You are too tired for it to be an accurate assumption. What do you say you come back next week, and we'll do it then?"

"I am fine Inoichi-san." Naruto said in hopes of changing his mind.

Inoichi nodded as he went back to signing documents. "I am sure. We'll find out next week."

Days later, he laid in his bedroom, staring at his ceiling from the surface of his bed. The last few days melded together becoming essentially the same day. He hadn't left his apartment since leaving Inoichi's office that night. There was nowhere to go. No one to see. He refused to walk through the streets anymore as all that awaited him were side glances and chatter that he just knew were about him. The new pariah of the village he was. All he had left was his families backing which wasn't much when they were all gone.

Jiraiya and Kushina took Mito and Menma on a training trip for an undetermined period of time. They had been gone for a few months now, missing the events that happened since. What was it that happened? Well, the deaths of Itachi and Izumi Uchiha of course. It was a true tragic story that had a twisted ending. Naruto couldn't explain it to anyone, because no one believed him. All they 'knew' was that he killed them, but they didn't know the story.

The true story, in a condensed version, is that Izumi Uchiha was captured by a man that had given them fair warning before. Orochimaru captured the girl while she was out on a mission with her team. When the others returned with the news, Naruto was out on a mission of his own. By the time he got back, Itachi had already gone out to look for her, abandoning his status as a Konoha ninja to do so. Naruto pleaded with his father to go and assist him which Minato reluctantly agreed.

Naruto tracked his best friend to a somewhat hidden base along the outskirts of Kusa. When he showed up, Itachi was sitting in the middle of the floor in what seemed to be an arena of sorts. Naruto called out to him, but he didn't respond. Instantly, he knew something was happening. Itachi turned on him and attacked him out of the blue. He wouldn't explain why, he just began attacking. Naruto adamantly tried to explain that he wasn't there to take him back. He tried to explain that he was there to help, but Itachi continued attacking him with the clear intent to kill.

They battled for hours on end with Naruto trying all he could to calm his friend down. In their hour long battle, Itachi told Naruto of the circumstances set for him by the snake Sanin. He gave him an ultimatum, either kill Naruto Namikaze, or he would kill Izumi.

Naruto nearly convinced him that if they were to work together, they could kill the snake and save her. But, as luck would have it, Orochimaru showed up with a knife to the girl's throat. Itachi realized there was no chance of saving her other than doing as the man said and ending his friend's life. With a heavy heart set in stone, he continued the battle. Izumi's pleading in the background held most of his attention.

The battle could have gone on forever with Naruto just dodging Itachi's attacks. Naruto at first thought it was a poor plan by the snake for the simple fact that he held no leverage over him. What drove the point home that this was supposed to be a death match is the next person he brought out. A bound and gagged Mito with tears streaming down her face. Immediately, Naruto wondered how in the hell the slithery man could have gotten his hands on her. He at first tried to rush the snake to get her back. In doing so, a barrier shot up around the room, officially setting the arena as the snake kicked his feet up to watch the spectacular battle that was bound to happen.

A spectacular battle it was, the two held nothing back as they fought for their hearts. Influenced by the wails of crying coming from the two girls to save them. Eventually Naruto got the upper hand and was able to kill his friend. The last thing Itachi saw before he died was Izumi's throat being slit. Naruto's soul broke completely witnessing the death of his two best friends, one of which was by his own hands. Never before had a kill made him feel so cold. The only way he could keep himself together was the thought of him saving his sister.

That illusion broke as well. When the barrier dropped, Naruto looked up to the balcony to see not one, but two cynical smiles staring down at him. Orochimaru chuckled at the blonde's confusion. Naruto's teary eyes were plastered on Mito as she shared the same smile while standing next to the snake. To his shock and horror, her appearance changed into a man he read about in the bingo books. Not famously known, but an ability very impressive. 'Hundred Transformation' Kazan.

Orochimaru and his associate escaped before the barrier fell. By the time it did, the heartbroken Naruto had no will or strength left to search for the duo. Instead, he carried the bodies of his friends all the way back to the village. Upon arrival, the people mourned the death of the village famous couple. Their questions demanded answers. It was meant to be confidential, but a leak from the ANBU guarding the Hokage during Naruto's mission report began the spread of the rumor that was partially true. Within weeks, everyone knew that Naruto Namikaze killed Itachi Uchiha. They just didn't know the full story.

And so, he was ostracized by everyone who admired the two. Rumors spread on why he had done it, each more ridiculous than the last. Some say he was jealous of Itachi for having Izumi, so he killed Itachi to get him out of the way. When he did, Izumi didn't want him, so he killed her too. Another said he just snapped out of the blue. None of them correct. It made it worse that they accused his father of playing favorites, acquitting him of his crime just because he was his son.

That is why he was slowly sinking back into his old pessimistic views. His hope for the world slowly reduced to nothingness. His will to live, carrying the fact that he killed his best friend, dwindled completely. There was no light in this world anymore. Not for him anyways.

The lack of missions was making it worse. He had been taking them one after the other just to keep his mind busy with the added benefit of avoiding the hateful gazes he received every day. The world was laughing at him. Every chance it got, it kicked the shit out of him with no mercy. What did he do? Well, he didn't know what he could do yet. It hadn't gotten to the point in which he felt he had to do something. No, he would wait it out with a sliver of his previous naïve hope that it may get better sometime soon. He just had to wait. In his bed is where he would do so. Staring at the white ceiling above him, watching as it melded seamlessly through the colors of the daylight and eventually the moon light, day after day.