13 Jiraiya is back

As soon as Danzo got back to his Root base, he sat down on his seat and started thinking.

'That may or may not have been the worst decision I have made in my life, but fuck it. We only live once...wait I am already living my second life, okay fuck that saying, it's inaccurate.

Anyways, Orochimaru probably needs about a day to arrive here.'

When it comes to transportation, the ninja world is very poorly developed during this time period. Later on, they build trains and stuff, but right now ninjas cross distances by jumping from tree branch to tree branch with their arms behind their backs. So until Orochimaru reaches the meeting place, Danzo will need something to pass his boredom.

He has no desire to train again, he spent the last three days non-stop training and wants to have some fun. Especially because with his system having fun equals increasing his strength.

'So who is my victim today?'

After thinking for a while, Danzo noticed that he seems to have restricted himself to Konoha unknowingly. Although now is not a good time, because he still has to wait for Orochimaru's arrival, after that it would be a good idea to stealthily visit some other villages. For example that stupid guy Raikage, Danzo never liked him in the Anime and after seeing him accidentally in multiple smut pics Danzo felt his eyes were sullied.

'That guy deserves the worst. You wait for me!

Wait why am I being so dramatic?'

Scratching his head in confusion, Danzo decided to let this matter rest for the while and went out. He will think of his next victim on the way. As he was walking on Konoha's streets Danzo's Kagura's heart eye perceived a ninja with huge chakra in Konoha near a woman's bathhouse.

'Is it really Jiraiya? Why is he here at this time, in the original plot he should only return to Konoha at the time of the Chunin exam.

But who am I to complain, it seems I have found a good target today hehe.'

Squinting his eyes, Danzo felt a bit excited. Jiraiya had a lot of good things on him, the best being Sage Mode. Not to mention that it's fun messing with such a fan-favorite character. He personally never liked Jiraiya that much, it's just weird for an old man to behave so...inappropriate.

Obviously, he is a Kage-level ninja with a lot of fame and high status, he is rich too because of his successful books. Does he lack women? He is not ugly at all, although he looks a bit wild, with his tall and somewhat muscular build it is really an extremely easy task to pull some girls.

But no instead of using his advantages to have a good game, he runs around spying on bathing women. He is so damn perverted that even at that time twelve years old Naruto can excite him with a transformation Jutsu. And before Danzo triggers some angry Jiraiya fans and they begin with 'but that's just for comedy, his character is heroic and cool'. Maybe.

It's just that Danzo never liked 'hero' characters. Reality is cold, human nature is inherently evil and the so-called 'good character traits' are just the result of their necessity for a society to work well. Not that this is bad, if humans were to really embrace their true nature, then society would go to gutters. Danzo is not an edgy bastard, he understands the truth in this matter.

A society needs empathy, kindness, and selflessness because they are required for humans to get along well with each other. So even if a human is actually a very selfish creature, they act selfless to fool each other and even themselves. Hiding their ugly face under a mask.

'I should stop thinking about such deep things. I am not a depressed 14 old-year-old white girl with an XXXTentacion playlist constantly running in the background, who cut themselves to relieve the stress they accumulate in school.

Ah yes, Jiraiya. Let's go meet that old pervert.'

Using body-flicker Jutsu he disappeared from his spot.

Jiraiya POV

'OHOHOHOHO the curves, it's truly a work of art.'

Wiping away the nosebleed that is threatening to run down from my nose, I continue to appreciate the aesthetic body of a woman.

'Konoha still has the hottest babes in the world, if this place wasn't so dark, I would never want to leave.'

I originally didn't plan to return to Konoha at this time, but a few days ago the Great Toad Sage had another dream of the future and I was called to Mount Myōboku. The Great Toad Sage had a horrifying nightmare, he saw only chaos in the ninja world, and the son of destiny who should have saved the world was...sleeping.

I first thought that it was a joke, but the Sage was dead-serious. According to him while the world was in a near-apocalyptic state, the blue-eyed, blond-haired boy was lying in a sleeping bag nearby completely uncaring.

This news really made my blood freeze. I spend year after year running around the world looking for the destined person and leading him on to the right path as the toads had told me but this is it? Isn't everything I've been doing just a joke then? Just as I was about to get angry, the Toad Sage said something to me that made me calm down at that time.

"Boy, the son of destiny is just misguided you can still bring him back on the right path."

Alright, alright I get it. So nothing changed huh? It's just that I'm pretty sure this time that the son of destiny is the son of my dead disciple Minato. Don't ask why I know, maybe it's the will of the world guiding me. (A/N: No it's me the Author, he will think whatever I want him to think!)

So with the plan to accept Naruto as my disciple and make him the world savior, he is supposed to be, I came back to Konoha. It's just the woman's bath is more important, everything else comes after.

General POV

Looking at the white-haired old man sitting collecting materials, Danzo shook his head helplessly. Hiruzen's disciples are really one weirder than the other. One is a cold-blooded snake, obsessed with human experiments and immortality (A/N: No hate though, Orochimaru is one of the coolest characters in Naruto. Dude is actually a villain for once.), the other is an extremely depressed alcoholic with even worse gambling problems and well Jiraiya...it's pretty clear already.

Danzo didn't try to hide from Jiraiya, anyway, he would probably be found. Just make the meeting seem like a coincidence and quietly change his personality.

[Observe]

[Name: Jiraiya

Affiliation: Konoha

Strength: High-Kage/Peak-Kage with Sage Mode

Personality traits:

Affectionate (Willing to give everything for his friends, as long as it's not against the village)

Loyal (Puts Konoha above everything, is willing to even kill his friends against his conscience if it is for the safety of the village)

Perverted (Has incredibly high sexual desires and regards women as the work of god)

Irresponsible (Unwilling to take on responsibilities or be restricted by them; loves unrestrained freedom)

Honorable Mention:

Simp (Chased after his first love for decades unwilling to move on; putting her on a pedestal and heightening her importance in his heart for no particular reason)]

Danzo saw that Jiraiya had already noticed him and the eyes of him looking at Danzo were not very kind.

'This guy really dislikes me. Well, he hates darkness, and *I* used to call myself the darkness of Konoha. Let's change this bastard hehe.

Although I can't change much from my experiment with Hiruzen I know that I can also change the detailed information besides the traits. That's the best way for now.'

[Name: Jiraiya

Affiliation: Konoha

Strength: High-Kage/Peak-Kage with Sage Mode

Personality traits:

Affectionate (Willing to give everything for his friend Orochimaru, even if it's against the village)

Loyal (Puts Orochimaru above everything, is willing to even kill his other friends against his conscience if it is for the safety of the Orochimaru)

Asexual (He is disgusted with the idea of anything sexual; dislikes women who show their skin)

Irresponsible (Unwilling to take on responsibilities or be restricted by them; loves conducting human experiments with Orochimaru freely)

Honorable Mention:

Simp (Chased after his best friend for decades unwilling to move on; putting him on a pedestal and heightening his importance in his heart for no particular reason)]

(A/N: I changed the setting a bit, if the strength of the opponent is about the same as Danzo then he can change one personality trait and some detailed information)

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Author Note: So my idea for Jiraiya is to make him best buddies with Orochimaru. They will have a funny dynamic (I will change Orochimaru too, but he will stay a scientist). Orochimaru will be the smart friend who likes to be sarcastic (will conduct human experiments) and Jiraiya will be silly friend (he will run around kidnap people for Orochimaru).

Maybe the Konoha crush plan will be conducted by Jiraiya and Orochimaru together?