Chemistry

The Uchiha Patriarch was already waiting inside Malaria's apartment. 'What's even the purpose of keys and locks in this forsaken village? I do not know if there is a lockpicking class in the academy but how else could every rat, dog and cat get in anywhere they want in under a minute?' Malaria thought to himself.

Walking into the apartment while the police officers remained outside, he spotted Uchiha Fugaku sitting at his coffee table, staring at a wall as if it had offended him somehow.

"Malaria-kun, I know we got off on the wrong foot in the beginning with the whole 'thrown-in-a-cell'-business the other day, and your little terrorist-prank sure was a fun activity for all of us at the station. But after hearing you standing up for my family in class and telling everyone the unspeakable truth, I wanted to pass by and show you, my, Uchiha Fugaku's, appreciation." Fugaku said with his nose in the air and eyes on the ceiling, admiring the woodwork.

"Although what you said is right and you have our thanks, don't follow our sinking ship in these muddy waters. From tomorrow, I want you to act like anyone else in the village and not get yourself in any danger." Fugaku lowered his eyes from the ceiling, glancing at Malaria. "We have our own ways to settle these matters, don't you worry. It would be best if you antagonize our youngsters a little, just in case to keep yourself safe from certain individuals. Whatever you do, I won't interefere."

Malaria being stumped for any words to even reply, Fugaku nodded his head, left a wad of Ryo on the table and left the apartment. Patting the youngsters' shoulder on the way out as a form of encouragement, he disappeared into the setting evening sun.

Malaria on the other hand threw his sack-jacket over the tapped shoulder and started see-sawing to scratch the itch he got from the murdered mosquitoes underneath. 'Alright, I acknowledge your arrogant and pompous aristocratic behaviour - but why dOeS eVeRyOnE iN tHiS vIlLaGe hAvE tO f*CkiNg tOuCh Me!?' Calming down the rash he was about to get from his actions, he walked over to the table and grabbed the stack of money Fugaku left behind.

'With this I can get myself some proper clothes, herbs and some glassware items for organic chemistry. I need to become selfsufficient as soon as possible and have the village properly acknowledge (fund) me! This is my ninja way, dattebayo!' Putting the sack back on, Malaria rushed outside again to do some evening shopping. First stop, the clothing store.

Arriving at Konoha's most bustling street, he soon found a shop that sold all kinds of clothing, ninja gear and supplies nescessary for staying out in the wild. Grabbing a pair of orange-tinted glasses, he picked up a green basque for a hat, a green scarf that could be used as a makeshift bandana mask and finally to top it all off - a green jacket that doubles as a raincoat.

It's all green I hear you say? Is Malaria the rumored husband with the green hat that his wife is absolutely not cheating on? Nah, it's just that every place in the wild of the Land of Fire is a forest. If he ever has to go outside Konoha, it'll serve as decent camouflage. Grabbing a few extra spare pants and gray shirts, he left the store immensely satisfied.

Ever since his Aburame™ coat and glasses were confiscated, he felt like something was missing in life. Well then, next stop; The Poison shop! For some reason the only people that has any chemistry sets for sale in all of Konoha are the poison masters. Supposedly the beakers often break due to the corrosive nature of their concotions, and making antidotes is easier said than done - the business could be said to be flourishing.

Entering the store he found several varieties of beakers, heaters, herbs, mushrooms and other things an aspiring poison master could need in their daily life. Placing his items in a basket, he chose to purchase several single neck round bottomed flasks, five glass stoppers, three five-necked flasks, a bunch of distilling heads, a receiving tube and a fistful of glass stirrers. After adding a few gas-heaters, Malaria felt satisfied with the tools and turned towards the herb section.

He might've received a full score on his chemistry in his past life, but the herbs in the shinobi world were mostly nonsensical. Malaria could only go after the tellers description of what does what. Choosing a number of 'pleasant fragrance' herbs, a few nonintoxicating flowers and a lot of 'smoke-inducing' mushrooms, he paid the teller and left to go back home. He couldn't wait to begin experimenting to see if he could create a mosquito repellent with these ingredients.

Looking over his once again almost empty wallet, Malaria couldn't help but frown. 'I just received that windfall from the Uchiha like a pie from the sky and it's already almost gone? I hope I'm successful on my first few tries or I'll have to go picking plants by myself.' he thought.

Kicking his aparment door open like nobodies business, Malaria began concoting potion after potion of different ratios and varieties. Some flasks use his own blood as an ingredient, and it worked wonders as intended - the mosquitoes return to his body when they get a whiff of the smell. Problem was, one 100ml beaker required almost 10 drops to have the wanted effect. Trying to dilute it by any sort of fraction and the mozzies will simply ignore the intended command.

One of his mixtures looked like some sort of pink witch-brew, which caused his little swamp angels to start laying eggs the very moment they return to his body. At this point, his swarm has become very small due to the police-station-incident, so it's actually a good thing this time - still, Malaria couldn't figure out why the hell that's the case. Noting down the formula for the 'pink-mix', he continues to brew different varieties without success.

'Shit, will I really have to bleed myself like some sort of bloodletting patient? Sure, it solves the problem I have with the repellent, but I'll get all kinds of symptoms in return.', contemplating the issue until the moon was high in the sky, Malaria figured it's time to hit the proverbial sack and get some sleep. This day had been a roller coaster of happenings, just like the day before and the exhaustion was palpable.

—

The next day, Malaria woke up refreshed and spirited. Today was another day at the academy, hopefully he could mooch a meal off Kakashi once more. What he didn't know was that a certain Teacher was planning a nice little outing for the entire class. Today was going to be assessment day to see how far each child has come in their home-cultivation to figure out what needs to be worked on.

The teacher wanted to see Malaria suffer after what happened yesterday with the Uchiha's history being revealed to the entire class. After he couldn't find Malaria anywhere on the premises, he got called into a meeting with the principal during the evening. The teacher was notified that even the Hokage himself took this matter extremely seriously. He couldn't help but sweat and bow in apology as he received a severe scolding on his very first day as a teacher.

'Hehehe, even if Malaria is bruised with a few broken bones and kunai's sticking out of him – he'll be just as new after coming back from the infirmary', the teacher snickered to himself. 'I had to go through a few loopholes and promise half my salary to others – but here we are, 'Seniors sparring Juniors.' If there ever was a facial expression for 'schadenfreude', there was a perfect example right here.

Wholly unaware of the malicious intent the teacher was holding against him, Malaria was preparing some breakfast by heating the leftovers Kakashi's mother left for him. 'Truly, how come she's never mentioned in the original work? She's basically an angel of a housewife.' he thought as he munched on some rice with beefstew. After the meal he packed a few of his failed potions with him, just in case he needed a smokebomb to run away from someone touchy.

Walking out of his apartment and heading over in the direction of the Academy, he soon found a wild Sakumo coming in his direction. The man was raising his hand to give him a pat on the shoulder before speaking, but Malaria was ready and dodged away before it hit him.

"How many times do I have to say it? The origin story featured Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Leave me the heck alone, I'm not into men!" Malaria fumed at being caught by guys all day every day at different intervals. 'Why can't someone like Tsunade~chan be the one to halt my path? Bloody discriminatory village rules with guys doing all the handiwork…'

Sakumo's outstretched hand missed the target as he started twitching in irritation. "I just wanted to greet you, damn brat. I hope you'll take care of Kakashi while I'm out on another mission.", Sakumo waved his still outstretched hand. "I'll be back sooner rather than later. Thanks for the jabs, they helped me clear my head. Take care."

'What the hell, he's seriously planting a death flag right in the no-go zone…' Malaria thought as he continued his walk to school.