6 Brave the new world, Baby!

Emily's POV:

I wake up with a slight sting on my neck and properly look around me. Looks like Anna knocked me out again.

I need to sincerely thank her for that, otherwise I can't imagine how extreme I could be, after reading that unspeakable atrocity of a letter.

Then I find Anna, curled up like a ball and sleeping next to me. That's unusual, as I woke up before her.

A single letter is capable of making me lose control. That's new. Well, the good thing is I'm habituated to new, unkind and freaky things. I really can't understand what's better to me.

'Calm down, Emily, you need to. You can't afford to mess things up more than they already are. You need understanding of what you're going to do.'

I start talking to myself now. I was nearly sane, now I'm back to insane.

I sigh with weariness. I realised that I can't change what's done. I need to focus on the things that I can change. Let's carefully analyze the situation first.

The letter happened to be a harbinger of my doom in the foreseeable future.

It was consigned to me by the-future-me.

As crazy as it sounds, it is valid. The magic inscribed in it is positively my own personal mark. It can't be faked.

Why I obtained this absurd letter, that's because I must've f***** up real bad in the future.

The letter, to be accurate, tacitly is an explicit warning to me, from me. I don't suspect it one bit because I had it coming, what I would do to ruin my future was stated in the letter.

It looks like the fierce skirmish which occurred earlier was admittedly my one and only chance to reboot and reincarnate, which I flunked oh so grandly.

The apparent result, I won, and I'm being reborn, with all the preserved memories, abilities and experiences intact. That's my initial mistake and curse.

Second, I held on to the memories of the past and didn't give a damn about my own future, in stark; I went all PTSD in my new life.

Third, due to such fatal negligence, I embraced an antisocial attitude of, 'I came to watch the world burn and watch I will.' Therefore, when the dying world did burn to nothing but charred ashes, it aroused my conscience back. Futilely, I tried to change but started too late.

Finally, with such deep regrets about how I was being a jerk and all, I simply decided that only going to past is the right solution.

But that's easier said than done. So I simply burdened my past self (the current me) who just died (and conveniently ignoring the fact that I'm half-crazed) with responsibility of not messing again. That was all.

But, if everything in the letter is true then, I have no right to blame anyone else but me. Thinking about all the lives I would've probably been able to save had I not wallowed myself in sorrow, I felt ashamed.

Yukino's loss was something that can never be filled. I took that as a nice and comfortable shell to close myself from the world. I will eventually become apathetic towards everything. The only thing which will make me humane again would be the discovery of magic in the world where it should not exist. That will be catching my attention and when I dig deeper, what I find will leave me horrified. So, I will try everything in my power to make things right, only to once again realize how late, I will be.

And that's why I will send a letter to myself, to give myself a chance again.

Needless to say, along with all possible assistance I will need and Anna, to remind me the failure I will be, if I'm any bit careless.

Hence, the letter is the proof that I will regret, more than I do now- in the future if don't be serious.

I sigh at my fate for the nth time. I read the letter over and over again to make sure I missed nothing important.

Then carefully fold it and place it in the backpack, which reminds me of the other things left in it, scrolls and keys.

When I tried to unroll the scrolls, only one opened, the rest all chose to stay sealed. The energy used to seal the scrolls was, was definitely not magic.

A little bit similar but not magic. It makes me all the more curious about the new world I'm about to be born in. A place where scrolls would likely be very common, because I've never used them till now.

I check the keys, some seemed archaic and some are literally the latest security pass cards.

The strange thing is, some of them archaic ones have numbers and patterns on them. One such key in particular has the exact same pattern and design of a room inside my HQ.

Almost all of the HQ is under my control, except for certain closed rooms and hidden passages I discovered.

I tried opening those doors many times only to end up failing. Maybe, I finally have chance of solving the few mysteries which I couldn't in my previous life.

This entire thing aside, the real reason why I'm all motivated about change is because I find some traces which will lead me to mine and Yukino's murder. I agree to it. I'm very selfish.

The only way I face the upcoming ordeal is tough. For that, I need to be tough too. Thinking along such lines, I chose to study the only scroll I managed to open.

But I realized reading it here; in some ruins would definitely not be a good idea. So I go inside my room to read it.

On the way to my room, I tried repairing the HQ, at least the main wing, where I stay. It left me utterly exhausted.

I enter my room and place Anna, who I managed to carry without waking up, on my bed. I decided to let her sleep all she wants. Right now, I need to confront another problem, which is to manage my memories from forcing onward every time I'm exhausted. It would be a potential menace.

I had to suppress them once again, lest I go delirious; worse, to depression. Once, I'm okay, I promptly go to my study.

I place the backpack with the letter and place it inside a locker. I'm extremely appreciative about the fact that HQ is strong enough to store physical objects even if it turned out to be wrecked.

I sit in front of my desk and open the scroll. Much to my surprise, it happened to be a storage scroll. I inject some magic into it and few 'mountains' of books, journals, papers, maps, etc. fall on my desk along with a note.

For the first time, I felt glad I have soundproof glasses separating my study and bedroom.

It would have been super awkward if Anna woke up because of the noise I made due to my sheer stupidity. Guess death really made me dumb.

Without wasting any more time, I quickly use magic to turn the 'mountains' to shelves of books. Once again, I am glad that I have a large study. I open the handwritten note before I properly check out the books.

I humbly thank whoever rules the dead, for this to be a note this time instead of a stinging letter. I've been traumatized with letters now.

And Anna is asleep to instantly knock me out if I panic again. Consequently the thing is, a note is nice. It says,

'It's favorable that you're able to read this note. That suggests you or me are sane now. We dearly need to be. This note is to let you know that I've gathered all the information I could in future; about magic, the world, some necessary skills, etc. thought they would be a nice head start for us. They might not be all there is to know, but they would surely aid you.

Also, don't burn all the information from the previous world. Trust me; we will have a use for it in the future. Every detail will cost pricey. I don't want extra regrets. I advice you start fortifying your magic abilities. That's the only thing you could right now any way. The other scrolls will open when you meet the requirements. Don't even think of unlocking the sealed rooms till your bruised soul and mind are veritably in their most immaculate condition. Finally, take care of Anna. She suffered a lot because of me. Treat her with kindness. Farewell.'

You didn't have to mention the last thing. I could guess what a myalo is by now. When I think about, Anna is not in any better condition than me but there's nothing I could do to help her. At least, not when I'm unable to help myself.

I walk towards the new addition of bookshelves in my study. After searching a little, I managed to procure what I need.

I carry those books and place them on my desk. They weren't much to begin with.

I was infallibly a bit zealous towards everything regarding magic. I cherished it. So I'm a bit excited.

I mean, all the magic I knew was self studied from the grimoires and the handwritten notes left behind by my ancestors. I can resist anything but what I declare temptation. And this chance is 'overwhelming temptation.'

I select the book with the title, 'Verum magicae: part 1'

Latino, glad I know you. With no excessive delay, I read the book.

After I had finished reading the book, I was silent for a while. For a long while. As this book, almost cover my entire knowledge regarding magic. And the most shocking thing is, this book is no doubt written by me, at least in the bleak future, because it contains all the personal codes and riddles only Yukino or I would be able to understand.

I feel a bit apprehended about what my future will inevitably bring to me, because this magic is all the way an offensive one. I hastily read the part 2 and 3.

Thank dear god they are not offensive as well. Otherwise, I don't know what kind of the world I need to face out there, which requires such magic to deal with and merely happens to be the bare minimum.

It's not that I never used offensive magic in my past life, I did but rarely. I mostly used the ones which helped in my medical operations and research. As a result, these are new to me.

Now I'm reasonably anticipating about my new life. Wait a second; the letter said I'm typically going to be reborn. As in 'being born again.'

Doesn't that mean I need to start from being a baby? No innocent wonder I screwed up, I heartily hated my childhood because I lost my family and almost lost Yukino then.

Ah, I desperately want to quit now. Guess I don't secure any other option. Better cheer myself.

"Brave the new world, baby me." I say ruefully to myself in consolation and try to practice magic.