5 A letter to Myself
Emily's POV:
I made a mistake, now I'm bearing the consequences. I regret it. I really do. Really should've stuck to my suicidal tendencies, cause I just got a whole new level craziness to deal with! And regretting it ain't helping either. Cause regretting means, I got to remember all the sh*t, that came when I opened 'the' accursed delivery of a package I say.
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Flashback
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I cautiously opened the backpack (a modest start for the epic curse). I thought it would explode. I was wrong, there was nothing in it other than a letter and some keys and scrolls.
Speak about false paranoia and insecurities. I began checking out the letter. Written in it were standard English alphabets, much to my surprise, cause I was expecting Japanese in it. Well, I'm fine with either, though. I start reading the letter, only to suspect my possible existence all over, merely after reading a few lines later.
| To Emily K. Rowens,
If you are reading this letter, then that means I'm either dead or do not exist anymore. So, please study this letter carefully and take the contents of it seriously, because I've traded my entire being just to give you, us a chance. Before you read any further, stabilize your spiritual nuclei. |
My eyes widen at the mention at the words 'spiritual nuclei' I hastily turn to look at the rest of the letter, only to realize a new sentence forming in it, like literally coming out of thin air. Like in some magical fantasy novel of dark lords, etc. you know. The newly formed line was...
| I thought I clearly advised you to NOT continue reading it till you've calmed down.|
I just felt more encouraged to look ahead of it, then I was greeted with brand new lines, I swore which weren't present it. Heck, what is this letter, a pseudo Marauders' Map?
| READ AFTER YOU HAVE YOUR FREAKING MIND IS IN ONE PIECE, GODDAMMIT!! |
Fine, I'll read it after I'm cool, ah, it sounds like in an extremely distant future. To achieve the seemingly impossible goal, I tried meditating in hopes of calming myself. And the result, it seems nowhere effective.
It would be surprising if it did. Cause, you know, if meditating for, like two minutes would make a deranged person calm, then the world would be filled with sages.
I somehow managed to calm myself after who knows how long. And when I opened my eyes, I saw the chi-Anna, staring at me with her huge brown eyes.
"What are you looking at?"
"eh?" The chibi was startled. I waited for her reply with patience which I didn't know I had left in me. Guess the meditation did pay off.
"Nothing, I saw you were meditating, and I tried not disturbing you. Sorry if I did by staring too much. I just didn't know what to do." she said dejectedly.
With a sigh, I began "No, you did not. I couldn't continue doing it, so I stopped."
"Oh, I see, that's good then."
.
.
.
An awkward silence took place. I wasn't in the best state of mind, she was totally timid to even speak. I didn't know what to say. Then she said something which I totally didn't see it coming.
"Um...I can see that you are having trouble keeping your calm, so how about you use this, it always helped me." Then she took a thin chain, with a small tear shaped crystal pendant to it. One look and I can say it was handmade, cause it was that delicate.
"And what might this be?"
"Oh, this is something you mad-, no- sorry, you may need." she was about to say something else but then said something entirely different. I frowned at that.
I look at her, and she miraculously noticed my intention. How she did, that still remains a mystery. I mean, barely few people understood my mood, to be more precise, only two people did. So for a complete stranger to perceive my mood, even when I was in this lunacy, it's a lie to say its normal. And she 'knew' it too.
"I know you are suspicious about me. You have every reason to be." She said very softly, barely above a whisper.
"But I want you to trust me. I mean absolutely no harm. I can explain everything I know after you finish the letter. Only then will I be able to reveal everything. Otherwise, I believe you can't handle what comes next. So please, please trust for this one time and let me help you." she pleaded.
"Why should I?"
She blanked at my question. Just when I thought she gave up, she surprised yet again.
"Because I'm obliged to. It is my duty. You may not know it now, but it doesn't matter. I will never step aside whenever you need my help. I might not be capable of offering the best support, but I will definitely try to do better. So, please let me help you, now and every time." Anna said, with all that determination, it sounded more like an oath. The sincerity couldn't be faked.
I was a little shocked. That I accept. I peer at the little person who has the 'I-will-help-you-at-all-costs' kind of look. I was warmed by her declaration. Maybe this is what I needed. Some consolation. And she gave it to me. So I'll take the risk.
"Fine." with that I took the chain she gave me and observed it. The moment I touched the chain, I knew without a doubt that it was a magical artifact. An incredible one at that, cause I myself made few. But when I compare the two, mine can only be called trinkets at the best. I feel all the more curious about Anna. A chibi, who can enter my mind, know my mood and have an artifact of such level. With such thoughts, I inject some magic to probe inside the pendant.
Saying that I'm utterly shocked is an understatement. I found oceans of magical energies, far bigger than my own magic reserves, at least by ten times.
The energies were as peaceful and soothing as they can be. While still in bewilderment, I use them to heal the damage caused to my soul, at least, mend it. It was done, very quickly.
Afterwards, I could finally be calm. Not a mess of emotions anymore. It's more like a temporary first aid. Healing entirely is out of question. I don't even know if its possible.
So I consumed very little amount of magic. I didn't want to take advantage of chibi, though the chibi in question tried very well to hide the fact that the pendant was very important to her.
I naturally understand that. I mean such an artifact was almost a myth. So I would be indebted. Nobody would like to feel indebted, I, especially not to a chibi.
"Thank you, it was very helpful." and I return her the chain.
"Ano, you could use it more if you like." she said, "I think it would save a lot of trouble."
"Sure it does. But I do understand that this pendant is very important to by the looks of it, and I have no interest in abusing your kindness." I stated as a matter of fact.
"But-"
"No buts, please. If you know about it being able to heal my soul, then you should also understand that for soul injuries it is better if I heal them on my own. With foreign support, I might heal, but at the same time I would be defenseless against any spiritual attacks. I absolutely cannot afford that."
That was enough to leave her without any chance to argue. Good.
"I appreciate your help, but I would be more comfortable if you can tell me more about who, what, why and how you are here. After all, even if I'm dead, my mind space is not something anyone can enter." I said while not missing the her barely noticeable flinch when she heard the word 'dead'.
"Alright, what I can tell you would be limited for now though. Also, you must promise me not to do anything that is risky to you." She replied after much contemplation.
"Okay. I promise."
"Well, once again, I'm Annabelle, I'm a myalo. What it is you would know soon. My purpose to come here, as I said before is to help. How I'm able to enter, that too, you would know later, but for sure."
Myalo. She said she is a myalo. A MYALO! A simple word. Something unintelligible. Was akin to a bombshell. Guess what happened, it blasted. That's because a myalo was some stupid, absurd thing I-
"Please stay calm, this is exactly why I withheld from saying anything." she said worriedly, almost tearing, wait how can she cry for such a small thing?
Groaning, I tried my hardest to put the unending questions flooding my brain to an end. I succeeded after too much effort that made me feel haggard.
Anna hesitantly came close to me, and sent some of the energy stored inside pendant once again. It really shooed some of my fatigue away.
I look at Anna, the girl didn't look like someone who just cried. She still looked the same before. Now that I look at her closely, I could finally see the emotions hidden inside her eyes. She didn't back away when I was measuring her. Her big eyes held a lot of complicated stuff, one which could be easily overlooked by her cute exterior.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"I'm alright, Anna. Thanks for your concern. I didn't mean it to happen like that. The answer was something I wasn't able to foresee. But it also helped me understand more about you. Sorry if I'd freak you out though."
"No problem. Please try to recover more and ask me if you need any assistance, Emily-sama."
I gave a light smile at her reply. Apparently, it caught her off guard, for she looked visibly stunned. It allowed my doubt about her recognizing my name without me informing go unnoticed. For the first time, she was not able to notice my suspicions, because of that light smile. She still looked a bit dazed.
"You...smiled." she said. I'm a person known to be able to control my emotions even in the most impossible conditions. Without it, Yukino would've died many times had I not have perfect control of them. The path I chose demanded utmost calmness. The irrevocable pain and loss, if I did not manage to hide them even after such long time, I would've failed myself. Without a doubt I'm still hurt, but I made up my mind to stay cool for a while before I loose it.
If a 'myalo' can exist, then I'm sure, I still have chance, to maybe, just maybe to make up for everything. And no way in hell I am letting it pass through me.
Thinking about this, I felt a teeny bit lighter. A smile, a little more genuine morphed on my face.
"I can, so don't put on expression that it's the last thing to happen, cause its clearly and most definitely not."
She got a shock. Again. It caused me to chuckle a bit. Sure, a chibi is 'a' chibi.
"I'll try to stabilize more, so please, by all means do whatever you want till then."
With that, I used all the effort to fix(hide) the cracks formed in my HQ, aka my mind and soul - the spiritual nuclei.The two main components of spirit of anything. Healing them is very tough in this situation so I place few spells, that would slowly 'repair' the HQ.
The HQ now looks a little better than ruins. It looked fragile for sure though.
I sealed away the last memories of my life, preventing them to pop out in front of me all the time. With a ton of difficulty.
I'm finally stable. Anna, the chibi, also agreed, despite all the disbelief written on her face. Hey, I know how to be sane even if forgot what it was! I opened the letter without any delay.
| Good, you're stable. So, from now, what you're about to know is 100% true. It is going to sound completely ridiculous, but that is our only way out.
.
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.
.
.
I hope you do not make the same mistakes I made. Realize before its too late. Don't wallow in sorrow. Live the present instead of burying yourself in the past. I know I sound like a hypocrite, but those are my regrets which will become yours if you are not careful enough. Give us a chance. Please.
From a worst possible future,
Emily K. Rowens. |
I dropped the letter listlessly, and began to doubt whether or not if I'm an element of fiction after all this.
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End of the Flashback
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Now, all I have in my mind, which I confirmed to be fine, is wtf, wtf, wtf!!!!!!
