1 Prologue

Probably, I'm the most non-standard hit .

Well, I have not heard or read about such people, but I have read a lot. Well, a lot.

A familiar scenario: hit by a car - "bam" - in another world.

There are many variations of death: he was electrocuted, stabbed to death, shot or killed in a plane crash, and for some, he went to bed without incident at all, and woke up already a hit .

Okay. Now, briefly about me: born - lived - died.

The "born" phase can be omitted: I generally don't remember myself well in childhood.

The Lived phase was a success. I lived well, well, just wonderful. No really. I studied well, found a decently paid, dust-free job. I had a three-room apartment and a car. All is well on the personal front. There is a hobby (if you can call it that): watching anime, reading manga, fanfiction and all kinds of fiction, mysticism, and a little playing in all sorts of RPGs.

On the last point "died" not everything is so rosy. Well, yes, what good can there be in death, especially in your own, and not a beloved neighbor from the upper floor?

One not very fine Sunday afternoon I went out to the balcony to smoke. Yes, the Ministry of Health correctly warns that smoking is harmful to health, but so that ... In general, the picture: I stand, smoke, lean on the fence, admire the view of the city. Suddenly the fastening of this lattice on the right side breaks out - and I fall off the balcony.

Say: "Nothing like that: fell from the balcony." So it just started. Not only did I survive (only three floors to fly), but besides, I slowed down my flight against a tree and flopped down on the bushes. Yes, scratched, but nothing fatal. It means that I am lying on a thorny bush, contemplating the sky (it turned out to be especially beautiful) and out of the corner of my eye I notice how that very lattice breaks off and flies down from my balcony. It is because of her that I have an unplanned rest. She is clearly aiming at me.

Noticing this fact, I managed to bend the abusive structure (at least a three-story mat) and roll slightly to the side. As it turned out to no avail: the bars put me on the head.

Well, everything seems to be! "Hello, New World!", But no ... My luck is still with me, and I stayed alive. I saved my life and got a healthy bump. The doctors diagnosed me with a "concussion of what replaces the brain" and put me in an ambulance.

A Kamaz crashes into our car on the highway . Ha! And even here the story of my death does not end: I got off with a slight fright and a couple of abrasions. Alas, this cannot be said about the ambulance crew ... Well, I was well fixed on the gurney, and the gurney was also securely attached to the car .

Just the other day, the fleet of cars was replenished with modern models. It was the governor who did his best before the elections, so I was lucky not to die in a banal car accident. Once again, I missed the ticket to a new life.

They took me to the hospital. There I was taken to the emergency room. There they forgot about me safely. What do you want? We have FREE MEDICINE. I was already discovered by the evening shift. More precisely, they did not remember, but came across an unaccounted body on an unaccounted gurney. My mortal carcass gave rise to a debate: the previous shift was in a hurry to go home and deny me, and the current shift refused to take the body from nowhere. After half an hour of heated discussions, the gurney was sent ... no, not to the morgue. There were such proposals, but I still showed signs of life, so the disputants agreed on resuscitation.

The emergency room was on the first floor of the hospital, as was the morgue, and the intensive care unit was already on the third floor. Naturally, everyone moved to the elevator. On the way, I saw a room marked "M / F", which I really want to visit for a long time. What I told my guides. "Maybe you can bear it?" - I replied with a categorical refusal and insisted that I endure in the morning and nothing else, if they do not want to wash the gurney and the elevator, then they need to make a stop.

While we were arguing, some old man in a wheelchair drove into the elevator and began to climb. True, as soon as the elevator reached the last floor, we heard the sound of a torn cable and the fall of the elevator. In general, going to the premises marked "M / F" was no longer relevant.

After all, they took me to the intensive care unit up the stairs. On the way up I was nearly dropped six times, and I was dropped two times. I still can't figure out how I didn't break my neck. For the first time, a wheel fell off the gurney. In the second, the straps with which I was attached to the gurney broke.

In the ward, I was sure that my torment was over. Oh, how naive I was! During that night, I survived three more times only by a miracle. At first, by mistake, I was taken to an operation, where I almost collapsed from anesthesia. Now I know that I am allergic to him.

The next day my girlfriend visited me. I was so happy about her arrival! She also brought some goodies . I chew with the feeling that life is getting better. It was she who spoke about the two night episodes. How it happened, I did not listen: the very fact that these two times were enough for me, but passed me.

And now we come to the culmination of this epic story of my death.

It's been about ten minutes after my girlfriend left.

Doctors pronounced death from suffocation.

I choked on a bone from a cherry.