1 GLIMPSE

Well I believe that life is like a plot. It has the introduction, climax , denouement and resolution. Life is one helluva ride, one minute one is happy and the next one is sad. When I have nothing to do I spend most of the time in my little dark bedroom which is also my study room. I sit here all alone because I feel like when l am in darkness I come up with really creative ideas and sometimes I will be winning fake arguments and constantly questioning my own sanity, from over thinking to self-sabotage. The only thing that keeps me going is that I have a whole lot of life to live I cannot just sit here all day in this little dark room , getting depressed every second. I also have to fulfill my dream by whatever means, I have to meet my destiny sooner than later. In this room, I think and come up with a lot of ideas , write them down. The room has become a secret place where I escape reality and fantasize about the future.

My mom is standing right beside me, it is at that moment I realise that I have been out of this world, too deep in my thoughts. I come back to reality and I realise that I did not hear my mom, my pillar of strength and best friend open the door.

"My baby are you okay?" You've been avoiding me the whole time since you got back from school". Her look pierces through me and I find it hard to generate a lie but nevertheless I do. Sometimes you have to lie a little so that you do not hurt the people around you or get them stressed because of the problems you create in your mind. The moment I start thinking, I start creating problems because I will be asking myself a lot of questions which I do not have solutions or answers to.

"Mom, l'm fine really there is nothing to worry about and I haven't been avoiding you",I say this with a fake smile on my face.

"If you say so my baby , I trust you but if anyone is giving you problems , trust me I will skin them alive. Anyways lemme prepare dinner, and don't forget your friend Jayde is coming over," she says this as she leaves my room.

I have known Jayde for a very long time now since first year in high school and I would not have asked for a better friend than her. We go to the same varsity but we doing different courses. Jayde and I share the darkest of secrets and she is a sister I never had, we are inseparable. We are the reason why our parents are now friends and it is really a good thing that we brought them together, we are the cement that bonded them .When I go to Jayde's place my mom does not have to worry about anything she knows that I am safe and vice versa.

As I wait for dinner to be ready, I work on my assignments. Being a first year in Film and television studies is no child's play but I love my craft and I have really fought hard to be where I am right now. I realized that passion alone is not enough but craft is key note. I have always dreamt of myself as a successful director and film producer and even a script writer but it will require sweat, blood and lots of tears to reach that level. I have been inspired by local producers/ film makers and these consist of Mmabatho Montsho, Phathutshedzo Makwarela and Mandla N. Well I do not stay at the University residence because my mom is so protective and she wants me to be by her side always. Most of the time Jayde's brother drops us at Film-Thearte Varsity before he gets to work. We are used to this life and in the future Jayde and I would make a very good team as she is into Dramatic Arts whilst I am into film making. We would be the "Bomb of Film Industry".

"Hey friend, are you done with the assignment?", Jayde is standing at the door and for the second time I did not hear the door open.

"Chommie , trust me this assignment is really hard than I thought worse I will have to present this whole thing in front of the whole class", I say this with a sigh.

"But don't worry chommie I got this , anyways enough about me and my assignment let's go have dinner".

We head straight to the living room. Our dining room is not fancy let alone our house. We live in a two bedroomed house at an estate. The living room has two couches at the far left, a glass table, the TV is mounted on the wall opposite the one with the couches , then on the other side is the kitchen. My mom has set up the table and trust me the food looks delicious, it stimulates my sense of taste. She has not prepared much but on the menu there is fried fish , curry rice , fried chicken and sauces. And for dessert obvious we have chocolate mousse which is my favorite. Even if the meal is not that fancy...but this appeals to our taste buds and I am grateful for the little things in life.

"Come on girls let's sit and have dinner so that you can go to bed early ",she makes her self comfortable on the chair and then she asks Jayde to say grace.

"But, mom it's not good to sleep just after eating ,we will have to be up for a few hours so that the food can be digested ".

"Yeah Bontle is right mom, maybe watch TV a little , books every minute, every second, can get boring, we deserve a break", mom looks at Jayde, smiles and at last she agrees that we will watch TV until 22:00.

After that we eat our food in silence and it is salivating trust me, unfortunately you did not have that dinner with us. Jayde and I do the dish washing whilst mom is doing some work on her computer.

She is a Detective so she is hardly home and her job is demanding sometimes it gets to my nerves because for instance when we are having family time she is called to come to work because there is an emergency or robbery somewhere or even murder. Her life is always on the line because they deal with psychotics sometimes . But there is nothing I can do because that is what she likes as it brings food on our table and it keeps us going. I would not have asked for a better mother but sometimes she is just too overprotective, but at the same time my best friend. We talk about sex and sexuality , we share and talk about almost everything even the topics that are labelled taboo in our society . But the only thing she does not talk about is the question about my father, she always shuts me out. I hardly know anything about him or what happened to him. When I talk or ask about him it is like I am uncovering old wounds. The song about my father has become like a dirge so I know longer ask about him but I believe one day she will crack.I do not have to push too hard.

We have been watching TV for a very long time now and it's past ten already. My eyes are heavy with sleep already but I am so happy that Jayde is sleeping over today. I will not be alone in that little dark room that I call my bedroom. My mom just fell asleep on her working table. I am sure she is taking strain, she is working on a very tough case. I get Jayde up and my mom so that we can go to bed. It is late already, so I switch off the TV , check if the windows are closed and then I head to my bedroom. As for Jayde sleep defeats her I am sure she is already in dreamland. I throw myself onto the bed and I don't know what happens next.......

I have been snoozing the alarm for the third time. The night has been very short, I wish I could elongate the hours but I have a future to create because no one will design it for me the way I want it to look like. Jayde is already dressed up. She lives a few houses away and her brother will pick me up and then drop us at school. I get up for a quick shower because I am already late. My mom has already left for work but breakfast is ready I do not have to worry about preparing something to eat or go to school on an empty stomach. I eat at a very fast rate to the extent where I get choked twice and it hurts.I throw the plates in the wash basin, grab my school bag as I rush out of the house as if there is a fire.

"Bontle we already late , remember we have to beat the traffic and you know that Johannesburg is busy", Jaden is really agitated so I have to be fast.

"Ndicel' uxolo Jaden, ungandicaphukeli tuuu", I get in the car, he frowns and tells me to stop speaking Xhosa because it sounds different and funny.

He drives off and no one says anything we just listening to music and observing the busy road ahead. Fortunately , today there is no too much traffic jam so we will not be late. Jaden has to get to work early . In no time we arrive at the varsity entrance , Jaden drops us off , drives off and we will see him late after school when he comes to pick us up.

Jayde and I, part ways but we will meet during the day. Right now she has rehearsals to do, they have to perform at the theatre and on the other hand I have a presentation to make. When I think of making a presentation in front of the whole class I get irritated because there is this other guy in our film class, Zinathi who is very egoistic. He makes my presentations very hard, always asking unnecessary questions and crushing my views and points. But I got him in the palm of my hands. I am not one to mess with I have a very good presentation laid out . Lucky enough today he does not bombard me with a lot of questions, and Dr Dlamini thinks I did a very good and well researched presentation.

I am walking down the hallway heading to the canteen when Zinathi comes running after me. Urrgh this guy makes my whole skin crawl and my blood boil. It is his attitude of " I know it all, because my sister also did filmmaking", that irritates me. I pretend as if I did not see him running after me.

"Hey Bontle, I've been running to catch up with you but you increased your pace every minute, are you avoiding me?".

I look at him with irritation in my eyes, " why would I avoid you is there any thing to avoid? Anyways I have to meet up with Jayde at the canteen and remember we have to film their performance the theatre later?". He tells me that he wanted to borrow my notes that I used for the presentation .I give them to him but I tell him to bring them back as soon as he can . At last he is out of my face , his smell makes me sick, rich kids are too proud.

"Oh, look who is smiling today, I assume the presentation went well chommie", Jayde is always bubbly and I laugh at her jokes even if they are not funny sometimes. I join her on the table so that we can have something to eat .

"I told you that I got him in the palm of my hands , who is he?, I can't be bullied or be intimidated by him".

"Yeah, next time you will have to nail your presentation again", she bangs the table as she emphasizes on how I will nail the presentation .

We continue chatting about how our classes went and after this we have to go to the theatre and film the dramatic arts class live performance. But right now I have go to the library and study there and also do some research. I do not know what Jayde is up to but I think she has a lot of rehearsing to do. The thing that I like is that we are both storytellers and we share the same views and goals.

Time flies, if your day did not have any hiccups it really comes to an end faster than you thought. It is time to go home and everything went very well today. I cannot find Jayde where we usually meet at the entrance so that Jaden does not struggle finding us because he is impatient, trust me when I say so. I sit by the entrance waiting for Jayde to show up and I am now agitated, I am even fidgeting my left leg because Jaden is getting angry . I do not blame him because he has to beat traffic. From Braamfontein to Midrand, during the rush hour the traffic jam is too much let alone the accidents . I try to call her because I am already worried about her but her phone puts me through voice mail.

"Bontle, today we won't beat the traffic trust me .Where the hell is Jayde and why is her phone putting us through voice mail? ", I can see fire through his eyes but he has to calm down. Patience is virtue.

" Maybe she is wrapping something up, I don't know because the last I saw her we were at the Theatre ", I tell him to calm down , as he is now pacing up and down, drawing attention to us. When I thought my day did not have any hiccups but here it is Jayde is delaying us.

"I am so sorry guys we had to wrap up something,I am sorry brother for delaying you Mtasekhaya", she heads straight to the car whilst I get up from the bench near the entrance .

" Thank God that I have calmed down, kunini sikulindile and your phone put us through voicemail", he gets on the car and tune on the radio station Power 94.7 and there are playing really cool music.

"Next time I will tell you not to wait for me if I will be late, I will call an Uber Brother!!!, but I said sorry you can reduce the volume ", Jaden pretends as if he did not hear what she said and he continues to play the loud music. There is traffic jam and it will take us an hour or so to get home but we usually take plus or minus forty five minutes The hundredths of cars behind and front of us form some sort of art or pattern and it is amazing. I always find some positivity in every situation thus I admire the billboards seeing my favorite celebrities and shows being advertised . I even dream of seeing my friend on those one day because she has talent, she might score her self a role in one of the shows one day.

In no time we are already home, and it took us an hour to travel. I hope that my mother knocked off early today because I miss her. She comes home late and leave early. I get off and head straight towards our house whilst Jaden drives off a few houses away so that he can park his car. My mother's car is not parked therefore I know that she is not home yet and I will have to clean up the mess that I left in the morning. The house smells of heat, it is stuffy because the windows have been closed the whole day. I throw my school bag on the couch and sit down to take off the shoes I have been wearing. The house is a mess , the dishes on the sink , boxes of cereal on top of the breakfast table and they are all waiting for me to tidy up. But I need strength to clean up, maybe a bar of chocolate. I am really obsessed with chocolates, they give me strength and make me ecstatic. But there are no chocolates , my mother ate the last bar yesterday, she is already addicted to them just like me. If you stay with someone you end up copying their habit or get addicted to something just like them. It took me no time and I am done cleaning and cooking but my mom is not home yet, and I will end up going to bed without seeing her .

I have already watched my favorite show Isibaya, and I can feel sleep dragging me to bed, saying it is my time. So like everyday I check if the windows are tightly closed and that the doors are locked. I do not switch off the lights because I am afraid of the dark. The lighting makes me feel better unlike the dark,I will not be seeing anything . I look at the ceiling for sometime and every time I try to close my eyes I start imagining what could have happened to my mother .I was just fooling myself, I can not sleep because I am having weird imaginations and her phone is off. I get a textbook and try to read something about cinematography, but I read the same sentence a hundred times.

That night I dream of some creatures with no eyes leading my mother to a dead end . They keep on walking but mum is not sure if she can trust those creatures with bald heads, no eyes and they seem confident but scary. I see something in her eyes confidence and bravery because all her colleagues remained behind some even fell into traps in this thick forest but she is the one who has faith. At that time I wake up and my heart is beating really fast and I realise that it is just a dream. It is past mid night and I realise that I have been thinking about my mother. Just in time the door opens and I pray it is her because if it is not her maybe it is some psychopath or thief . No one is safe in this country so I grab a vase and walk down the corridor. Ready to attack any perpetrator.

"Mum is that you?", I continue walking towards the lounge.

"Yes baby, it's me , you still up ? Did you wait up for me, because you didn't have to", she sits down on the couch and I can tell that she is exhausted even emotionally.

"Eeh, where are you taking that vase to?, You are afraid but the security is tight here. There is no record of break ins here".

"I have to be pro active , remember I am a detective's daughter and you have a lot of enemies", I put down the vase down next to the TV Stand and I join her on the couch.I ask her why she knocked off so late but I do not tell her about my nightmare she will say that the brain was playing tricks on me.

"Bontle, I am dealing with a case of murder right now and it's about the death of a very influential person ,Thula Sindi and we do not have any prime suspect or lead yet".

"Oh,I am so sorry but I know you will crack the case in no time, Thula Sindi had a lot of enemies it could be anyone", I say this as I get up to warm some food for my mother.

"Yeah , I really wish to arrest the culprit before it's too late , Thula was shot five times in the head , found in a pool of blood in his home. And his sixteen year old daughter is the one who found him dead".

"Yoh , kemathata fela Mme".

I think this murder investigation will be interesting because the killer might be anyone. I know my mother will be updating me on almost everything. I enjoy these investigations and I even watch some episodes on Investigation Discovery channel with my mother.I can not wait to help my mom with the ideas on how to deal with the case when they gather some evidence and when the forensic report comes back. I like solving puzzles so it is going to be fun. Now I can go sleep peacefully because mum is home, safe and sound.Tommorow is another day I pray that it will be a better day.