12 Kiss

(One week later)

Natsuo had been staring at the clock, but the pointers hadn't moved. The loud clicking noise echoed everywhere around the room and inside his head. His chest seemed to move up and down in sync with the black concrete walls.

Ayumi lay on the floor, staring up at the roof, waving her hands like she was conducting an orchestra. Her body transformed into a spider with eight eyes and hairy legs grew from her black hair, while her fingers looked like hooks knitting webs. She twirled her imaginary baton and the notes filled the room like a haunting melody, swirling around her in a dizzying dance.

Natsuo had stood up from the couch without realizing it. He found himself outside, where the cars seemed to be a jumble of colors with their engines resembling war machines. Passing people were like ants swarming in the nest, preparing for an attack.

He was in a deep trance after stumbling into a secret world that was both beautiful and terrifying.

The tension was palpable in the air as if everyone was preparing for a battle they weren't sure they could win. He had nothing left but to accept the destruction, to watch as the city he had lived in his whole life was reduced to rubble and dust.

His vision was engulfed in darkness as he closed his eyes. He started to make sense of it all, feeling a strange yet familiar presence that seemed to come from within himself. It was as if he was standing in the middle of a universe of infinite possibilities, each one more enchanting and captivating than the last.

"Natsuo?"

He opened his eyes wide.

Jiro stood in front of him, his white hair framing his face and his eyes piercing into his soul. A feeling of insanity hit Natsuo's brain like a massive tidal wave. He felt as if he was drowning, strangled by tight waves that stifled his breath.

A sense of security passed over him when he was embraced and held close. There was a steady pulse beating next to his ear and he could feel the warmth of fabric against his cheek. He was enveloped in a scent of citrus and musk, allowing serenity to sweep away the chaos.

(One day later)

Natsuo leaned against the kitchen island, thinking about yesterday. While Jiro was dealing with the yakuza, Ayumi asked him to hang out with her.

Ayumi encouraged them to try acid, LSD, since she had such a hilarious time with it earlier. The vividness of the colors was mesmerizing and the beauty of the shades was breathtaking. There was harmony and balance in everything.

The hallucinations and delusions in his mind began to swirl after hours. Nothing seemed real at the same time.

"Feeling any better?" Jiro asked, coming from his bedroom. He showed off his tattooed and well-trained upper body wearing only boxers.

"Yeah... I guess," Natsuo mumbled, feeling thirsty all of a sudden.

Jiro offered him a water bottle from the fridge as if he had read his thoughts.

"Thanks," Natsuo sighed and gulped down the cool liquid.

"You had a kinda rough trip, huh?" Jiro asked while watching Natsuo drinking.

"But that kiss was more than a little unexpected," he continued with a smirk.

Natsuo suddenly lost the ability to swallow and spit out all the water in the sink.

"What?!"

"So you lost your memory again?" Jiro asked with a chuckle.

Visions from yesterday started to run through his mind. He recalled getting in a car and driving through Shinjuku, and its neon lights seemed to attack them from behind the windows.

Jiro whispered soothing words in his ear to help calm him down. Natsuo was still smelling citrus and musk all around him as they sat close to each other. His eyes were wandering and his head was spinning, so Jiro gently touched his face to comfort him.

They stumbled into each other as the car drove over a bump. Jiro's lips lingered on Natsuo's, their breaths mingling as they stayed locked in a moment of bliss. As they drew away they maintained their gaze, each lost in the moment as if nothing in the world existed but the two of them.

Natsuo was gripping the plastic bottle so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"It was an accident," he mumbled, freaking out while thinking about it. He repeated those words over and over again in his head, desperately trying to make sense of what had happened.

"Maybe, but it didn't feel like one," Jiro replied while remaining neutral.

Natsuo's blood burned his veins and his cheeks turned deep red. The feeling of embarrassment was unlike anything he had ever experienced in his entire life.

"It's not that serious," Jiro snickered when seeing his flushed face.

"I need to leave," Natsuo announced, slamming the water bottle on the table with shaking hands.

"What? Why are you so upset?" Jiro asked as Natsuo stormed to get his jacket, placing a hand on his arm to stop his hurried movements.

"It's not that big a deal, seriously."

Natsuo's heart was nearly tainted with arrhythmia from beating so rapidly. He yanked free of Jiro's grip, feeling the heat of panic and shame rising within him.

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because we are two dudes!" Natsuo snorted, unable to meet his eyes.

"So?"

"So? It doesn't bother you?" Natsuo asked in disbelief as he finally glanced at his questioning face.

"No. I have been with a guy before," Jiro shrugged.

Natsuo stood in a daze, completely shocked by his revelation.

"It's not that weird, trust me. Welcome to this day."

Natsuo shook his head, his expression showing that he didn't believe the words he had just heard.

"No, it's weird," he said stubbornly as he left, slamming the door behind him.

(A while later)

Natsuo rushed straight to Ayumi's place without waiting for a reply to his text message since he was desperate to see her. He impatiently kept knocking on the door until she finally opened it.

"Can you just - fucking - stop?!"

Natsuo walked past her.

"Well, come in," she mumbled and closed the door.

"Was it acid?" Natsuo asked snarling at her.

Dark circles and old mascara stains surrounded Ayumi's eyes as she looked at him tiredly. Her hair was messy and a black morning robe was lazily wrapped around her.

"You look disgusting. Have you seen yourself?" Natsuo asked wryly.

"I don't have to, since you asshole barge into my home uninvited, telling me how I look and giving me the worst headaches," she answered with a fake smile.

"So, what was it?" Natsuo demanded.

"It was just acid," Ayumi replied with a snicker, her nonchalant attitude continuing to reveal her disinterest.

"We all have bad trips sometimes. Just get over it," she sighed, heading to the fridge to get a beer. A sink full of dirty dishes and empty liquor cans littered her kitchen.

"Well, I am moving here now," Natsuo declared.

Her drink almost made her choke and she wiped her mouth clean.

"You what?!"

"I can't live with Jiro anymore," Natsuo said, his cheeks warming again as he tried to keep his face expressionless.

"Why not?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Okay, I can ask him and - "

"Don't!" Natsuo shouted at her.

The intensity of his voice surprised Ayumi as she glanced at him.

"So, can I? Please?" Natsuo asked quietly, trying to appear pleading.

"Fine," Ayumi sighed.

(Two days later)

Natsuo had been living like a hermit with Ayumi as they hadn't done much or been outside. After a lot of drinking beer and smoking their last bits of weed, Ayumi suggested they meet the rest of the gang.

"Just because you smooched Jiro doesn't mean I am condemned to die within these walls," Ayumi cackled.

Natsuo's expression changed, rage and resentment crossing his face as he clenched his hands into fists.

"C'mon, we'll get so wasted that you won't even notice him."

"The answer is still no."

"Fine then. Just because you have some difficulties with your sexuality, that doesn't mean - "

She was silenced when Natsuo smashed a half-drank beer on the floor.

"Shut up."

"I can't be told to shut up in my own house."

"Which Jiro bought you!"

"Yeah, so we both should be licking his shoes right now, shouldn't we?"

Natsuo snorted as he rolled his eyes.

"And we are out of beer and weed. Have fun with your hangover and withdrawals," she sneered as she grabbed her spiked biker jacket.

A deep sigh escaped Natsuo's mouth as he realized that he couldn't tolerate that at that moment.

(A while later)

They headed straight for the back room of Kikiyo's. On a Thursday evening, the club was surprisingly empty and Nix wasn't there either. Koichi must have been somewhere because Kyoko was staring at the walls and humming to herself.

Shoji was sitting in front of the bar and flirting with the waitress, who seemed rather uncomfortable around him. When he saw them walking in, he happily waved at them.

"Can we have some beers?" Ayumi asked the waitress, who suddenly looked happy to be away from Shoji even for a while.

Jiro entered the room in a more formal outfit than usual. His crisp white shirt and navy blue suit were a sharp contrast to the casual clothes he normally wore. Even his hair had been carefully styled, enhancing his professional look.

After him walked a girl wearing a short burgundy silken dress with straight red hair. A doll-like face, narrow nose, and chubby lips - that same girl whose tonsils Jiro was cleaning with his tongue.

"Oh, fuck. It's that bitch," Ayumi murmured.

She smugly watched them from a distance, glitter high heels clopping as she walked towards them with Jiro.

"Hey guys, this is Yuki Yamasaki, my childhood neighbor," Jiro introduced her.

Snobbishly she showed off her diamond earrings as she wiped her long, shiny hair. She gave a quick glance around the room as if to suggest that she was superior to everyone else present.

"Jiro, is there anyone who doesn't know me?" She laughed and grabbed his arm.

"No, I don't," Natsuo said disgustingly. His response was firm and resolute, leaving Yuki with a sour look on her face.

"Oh well, my father is just - "

As Ayumi lifted her dusty boots on the table, she stopped talking. Yuki pursed her lips and her gaze turned into a steely glare.

"Move along, we have no time for peasants," Ayumi said and lit her joint.

Natsuo coughed so hard that he almost aspirated after drinking his beer. A nervous laugh erupted from Jiro and Yuki frowned at her insult, anxious tension escalating between the two of them. The uncomfortable atmosphere grew more intense with every second that passed.

"Don't worry, she's always joking like that," Jiro explained, quickly adding:

"Why don't you get us some drinks and let's sit somewhere private?"

Her smug smile returned as she turned to look at Jiro.

"Don't keep me waiting too long, sweetie," she winked before walking away.

"I will deal with you later. You, can we talk?" Jiro snarled first at Ayumi, then at Natsuo, who was just trying to stay out of the situation.

"Outside," Jiro commanded. Natsuo complied with a sigh and followed Jiro, dreading the conversation that was sure to come.

They made their way to a patio that offered a tranquil respite from the night's festivities, with a breathtaking panorama of the neon-lit streetscapes and vibrant atmosphere of Kabukichō.

Jiro closed the door so that they could be alone. As the sun slowly descended, a beautiful array of orange-pink clouds illuminated the sky.

"We need to talk about what you said. That just wasn't appropriate," he said seriously, looking unpleased with him. Jiro's grave face made it clear that this was not a topic to be taken lightly.

Natsuo shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not knowing what to say.

"You shouldn't say things like that. If you honestly think that is weird, fine, but keep it to yourself. I can be with whomever I want and it's nobody's business. We can pretend that thing never happened between us, but let me tell you - when we kissed, you didn't seem to think that was weird at all," he said with a heavy voice.

Natsuo lowered his look, feeling his chest pumping again and a wave of anxiety washing over him.

"You are right," he admitted, stopping Jiro from leaving.

Natsuo was unable to hear the noises from the loud traffic for a second. His head was swamped with emptiness while trying to think of words to say.

"I was raised to believe that things like that are just... wrong," Natsuo finally said somberly, thinking about Masashi's stern face and squinting eyes behind his glasses.

Jiro's stiff posture became more relaxed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"But they aren't right. I get that. And that thing will never happen again," Natsuo fumbled with his words, but was startled when Jiro stepped closer and kissed him.

Even though the cold breeze blew through them and played with their hair, Natsuo was struck by a wave of heat.

He felt Jiro's tongue inside his mouth, and when he tried to move away, Jiro just pressed him against the fence and kissed him even more intensely.

The sour taste of beer filled him with a bitter taste and he thought about how Jiro's wet tongue would devour him alive. The pit of his stomach twisted as he tried to hold back the pleasure that almost consumed him.

When Jiro finally separated himself, he smiled devilishly while seeing Natsuo's blushed and struggling face.

"Never say never," he whispered flirtatiously under his breath and left the patio. Natsuo stood there with weak legs and squeezed the iron bars so that he wouldn't faint.