29 Catastrophe: The Truth Behind My Music Part 1

Making a few push-ups and sit-ups and curls up early in the morning was a good start to start the day. Then I jog in dawn towards the forest. I need something to make my mind clear. I need something for my plan. What should I do? I cannot trust anyone around me. Even my parents and my brothers… even Nicholas. It is a good thing that the fresh chill in dawn is helping me to think.

Being a Catastrophe from being Adhiti is hard. I have to lie. I have to pretend. I have to be someone. I am getting tired of being a liar and being not who I am. But this is me now. I need to stand for this plan. Yesterday just made me stronger. And that tragic past that Adhiti suffered, taking all the pain of torment makes Catastrophe stronger and fearless. I have to thank her no matter what. She makes a person that I am today.

"You are trying hard." A deep voice of a man speaks behind me that made me stopped from running. "Oh, don't stop. It will sprain your ankle." I face in his direction and throw fire. He took my fire and mixed with his that almost burn the trees. "Good morning, Catastrophe." His smiles are trying to be charming in front of me. I have to roll my eyes on that. "Keep going." I did keep going and glanced at my sports watch.

It's 4 am already and I need to meet him. I duck down when a ball of fire was thrown to me. I don't know how aware I am and flexible to duck when the fire is behind me. I get up and glare at Flame who lightens his palm in a ball of fire. He smiles playfully and throws the fire on me. I got a chance to roll over to avoid it. I started running fast when the adrenaline rushes up. My blood is racing too up my head together with my heart. He keeps on throwing fire on me with both hands while he's running after me. I don't know that he's a psycho. Why is he trying to kill me with his fire?

"Run baby, run!" he teased me and chuckles.

"Psychopath!" I groan and run as fast as I can.

My head is really hot, am I mad? My palms are aching to let go of the very hot sensation. I growl and spread my arms letting go of the burning fire. I stopped running and face him in a very swift movement and push the fire on him. He threw another fire but my big fire eats his ball of fire.

"Awesome for the first-timer." He said and walks closer to me. The fire dies and my arms fall. I tried to catch my breath, feeling like I haven't been breathing for minutes. Now, I understand. He's testing me and this is the surprise of my mentor. "Here." He gave me a bottle. "This will help." I took it and twist the cap of the bottle and swig it into my mouth. My whole body cools down from the freshwater he gave to me. I walk towards the three near me and leans my back while still catching my breath. My heart is beating so loud and my brain feels like going to explode. My eyes started to see dark.

"You should control your fire." I looked at the direction where the voice comes from. "I am expecting that you will catch his fire." He stood in front of me and put down his equipment. He took my wrist and holds it while glancing on his wristwatch. "You need to cool down."

"I am cooling down!" I scowl at him. I scream when water from above showers on. I looked like a fire that dies in the water as smoke evaporates from my skin. I suddenly feel freezing. My breath hitches and my whole nerves feel frozen or should I say more relaxed. "Did you just do that?!" I looked at him madly. He smiled and gently tapped a fresh towel on my face. I grabbed the towel from him and started drying my hair and my neck. My head started heating because of agitation towards him.

"Oh... she looks really cute." Flame said with a twinkle on his eyes and admiration towards me. "Does she looks more like Adhiti your ex-girlfriend?"

My heart winced on the ex-girlfriend thing but I shouldn't feel that way. Adhiti, do you still love this guy? Now that you know that he's an asshole, how could you feel even a little thing towards him! I am sorry that I have to curse you but I fucking hate you Adhiti for loving this asshole!

I didn't dare to look at Nick. I looked at Flame who looks guilty on mentioning Adhiti. I guess that Nick is mad or something. I don't care. I should not care, right?

"Let's get to work." He sounds serious now. "You can now leave, Flame."

Flame lousily moved and walks and glanced back at me. He winks at me which I only show a boring look. I turn to face Nick and he tossed the wooden sword to me. I catch it and toss it up and hold it well. I hang the towel on the branch of the tree and positioned it for defense or attack.

"You know, I love teaching you..." he smiled teasing me but I stay impassive on my every emotion. He attacked first and I blocked it right away. "You are a fast learner."

"I know I am," I said and gritted my teeth. I push away his sword with mine and attack him in a very swift movement. He swings his sword to my side and I caught his wrist as my sword pointed his neck.

"Impressive. Did you practice?"

"No. I imagine killing someone yesterday but the bad thing is... he's already dead."

"There are more coming." He murmured which sounds more like a warning. He gently put down his wooden sword and moved closer to me. "You have to understand that I am doing this all for you. I may be a jerk to Adhiti because I let my depression goes along into temptations. There will be times that I might not beside you to protect you from those monsters and at least you know how to defend yourself and survive in these cruel worlds we are living. Mahal Kita." He murmured the last word and kissed my forehead. I was quite taken aback by what he did.

I don't understand the last two words because it is a foreign language but the sounds flatter me. I feel like standing on the beach while listening to the splash of the water to the seashore, as seagulls are flying around making a silly-peaceful sound. He pressed his warm lips for seconds as it gives heat around my body and suddenly, I feel just fine. No muscle pain and no heartache.

"That's it for now. We won't have any more practice this afternoon since that there will be a night ball."

I look up at him and stare at his eyes for a moment.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Anything." He moved a little backward.

"Wouldn't your girlfriend get mad when she found out that you have this affection on me?"

"If she gets mad, it is my responsibility. Anyway, I wanted to break things with her. I feel suffocated on lying at myself and for using her."

"Why? Is it because of me who looks identically like Adhiti?"

"Let's say you give me a gut to make that decision. But, it is not because of you or Adhiti. It is I who make foolish things. I realize the wrongs that I made while she's not with us. I shouldn't use Eliza to cover all the pain. I shouldn't deny that nobody can fill my heart but Adhiti. I should've looked for her instead of sitting around drowning myself in depression while she's out there suffering."

I wanted to look away from his eyes. It was full of pain, regrets, and guilt. His eyes are cloudy and anytime the water will fall. And as a tear fall from his left eye the water above started dripping slowly until it rains on us.

"Do you know how painful it is, Catastrophe? Do you know how painful it is to think that my Adhiti is suffering physical pain and worse in emotional pain? I just wished that the pain that is torturing her is my pain. So that I won't get hurt seeing her suffering in that torment."