Chapter 15: Hiraishin

It was bNb 34, At the battlefield of the First Shinobi War I Raiko Kishin was brought into this god forsaken hell hole as a twisted definition of a "Fieldtrip" everywhere was blood and I had to actually fight in this war as a 6 year old Yanagikage.

I found this hiding spot which was previously contaminated with fodders so I asked a few Yanagikage to clear this spot, they already left and all the nearby Kumo thought it was a ambush ground once more so they all tried their luck.

"What's this kid doing in here?!!!~"

A man appeared from behind me, I sliced his neck as he was severely underestimating me and was ridiculously wide open.

In fact I already killed several ninja's who all died due to underestimation.

"I wasn't warned that the death of the first Hokage was a literal flag to hype these crazed Kumogakure ninjas..."

Just then a man yet again tried to sneak up on me but he was clumsy and let out a drowning amount of killing intent so I didn't turn around and just constricted my strings near him chopping him to bits.

"I'm done hiding, sheesh. Ikari when does the Nidaime die?"

[Before April I suppose, why does Arthur ask?]

"I'm gonna try learn the Hiraishin from him!"

[But there is no nee- Enemy at 6:00]

I did my signature reverse tornado kick toward the direction which surprised the Kumogakure ninja letting me land a boot blade to his mouth, he lived and grabbed my feet, slamming me to the ground.

I got pissed off and level 2 activated so while he was trying to keep the pain suppressed I used the blood from my boot blade to distract his vision, giving me plenty of time to stab him in the neck and temple simultaneously as the chest was quite guarded.

He fell down and I took whatever shit he had like kunais and some shurikens.

I was already near our base camp and I just ran for it while my level 2 was activated, on the way there I can hear Nidaime Tobi-sama talking about peace treaties so I guessed that the war was nearly over or was just about to enter the last phase

I went to the base camp and sat near the entrance as I was mad tired.

There a young Hiruzen Sarutobi sat next to me and sighed.

"Funny how a kid like you also goes into the battlefield huh?"

I looked over to him and raised an eye brow.

"Is it really?"

I already knew the answer but asked to remain somehow comical and cute.

"Duh! You're probably 7 or 8 right?"

I shook my head and raised 6 finger.

"I'm 6! Dattecanyoubelieveitbayo!"

It was that goddamn tic, I just thought it was funny to say right now so I went ahead.

Hiruzen laughed and said bye to me as he went on.

I stood up and continued towards where Nidaime was, he was apparently called back by Hashirama beforehand and titled him Nidaime before Hashirama died due to unknown reasons.

I went in and took off my clothes he wasn't surprised and just went on with his business, the others however like Danzo and the two council fogeys from the anime was looking at me and complained.

"Get out of here you disgraceful child! Where did you get that blood from huh? Did you injure yourself? While thinking it was gonna be a fun place?!"

I took out my Yanagikage badge and showed them my woundless body.

"32 kills, proof is this blood here and the eyes of my clansmen. Shut up hag"

The girl was the girl one at the council and she was annoyed at my last remark and looked at Tobi-sama.

"Let him be, oh and Raiko don't just strip here and leave those bloody clothes throw them and get some new ones."

I looked towards him and bowed, it was quite a sight seeing a underwear wearing 6 year old child bow and do his business nonchalantly in front of the Nidaime, Danzo was literally awkward and wanted to beat me up but Nidaime already gave me permission.

"Thank you for letting me change Tobi-sama!"

I was about to walk out but then I remembered my business here and went towards him.

"Can I learn the Hiraishin?"

Everyone on the room was dumbfounded and some even fell down.

I just noticed but Hiruzen was there too and he just started laughing.

"This kid is nuts, Ohahahaha"

Laughing like a monkey that is (Saru means Monkey or something, I don't give a shit)

Tobirama sighed for a bit and placed a hand in my shoulders.

"If you somehow manage to graduate, I'll teach you it~ but currently your chakra is phenomenally disappointing"

I sighed and continued outside while a thought suddenly drifted into my mind.

'He's gonna die before april... So this is practically His lie on april'

I laughed at my own and everyone who was walked by me saw a naked laughing beautiful shota.

They had mixed feeling, especially the girls.

But then all of the sudden one came up to me stood in my way.

"What are you doing naked while laughing alone? Are you an war orph-"

I looked at the girl who was about the same age as me and my unbelievably energetic dick AWAKENED *Pillar Men Theme*

"U...Uwawawawa!"

She covered her face but... She could still see my boner, I ignored her and started laughing again as I just thought of "Boner Tendency" (YES IT'S A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE, TWICE!)

(AND NO TWICE ISN'T A REFERENCE TO THOSE HOT K-GIRLS)

The girl asked me shyly.

"Wh-w-what's your name! St-S-State it!"

"Raiko Kishin!"

I looked towards her and slightly wiggled by crotch and at the same time I pointed my index finger to the sky.

"Hahaue wa kore o itta, watashi no shinka wa hikari yori hayaidesu. Uchū zentai de watashi no shinka ni oitsuku koto wa dekimasen."

I then turned around and started even louder.

That day a rumor spread that an angel was dropped by the gods and it has decided to help Konoha.

...

"Achoo!"

Yukie was seriously taken to a hospital as she sneezed quite a lot for a while now.

"Yukie, if what you're saying is true then... No way, Rai isn't that bad~"

Tsunade was seriously thinking hard about Yukie's "Connection"

"Tsun-Tsun! Believe me! Nii-Nii is super bad right now!"

Chloe was face palming pretty hard and grabbed Yukie by the head.

"Rainiki is super kind to people, so please stop that already?~"

"Ok..Achoo!"

Yukie sneezed at Chloe and headbutted her.

"WHEN DO YOU PLAN TO STOP SNEEZING!"

"Nii-Nii~... Please be kind now..Achoo!"

...

"Ikari, you were saying something about the Hiraishin before, no?"

[Affirmative, I was saying that learning it through Tobirama Senju is not the only option]

"Wdym?"

[W.D.YM? Pardon?]

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!"

[Oh, I see, well the Instant Skill Tickets]

I went to the closest wall I could find and smashed my head into it.

'WHY THE HELL DID THAT ACTUALLY GET FORGOTTEN?!'

[I do not know, perhaps Arthur has short-term memory span]

"Shut up, Use instant skill ticket on Hiraishin no Jutsu!"

[Instant Skill Ticket activated, Hiraishin no Jutsu, Naruto Universe, Tobirama Senju]

[Would you like to use another ticket to max mastery over this skill Yes? - No?]

"How many do I have?"

[x6 left after using one]

"Do it then sheesh"

[Instant Skill Ticket used, Mastery, Proficiency, Efficiency to Hiraishin no Jutsu is now max]

[Would you like to to learn Seal Tag as a complimentary skill? Yes? - No?]

"What the fuck?"

[Hiraishin itself needs the use of a seal tag and the space time jutsu to activate]

"Then go on ahead, omg stop asking me and just do whatever to master it!"

[Affirmative, Learning Seal Tag, Used one more Instant Skill Ticket to master Seal Tag, Mastery, Proficiency, Efficiency to Seal Tag is now max]

[Remaining Instant Skill Tickets x3]

Out of nowhere a surge of information, so much that the pain felt like thousands of needles just stabbed my head and got thrown in front of a corn shredder for several hours while I also heal every single fucking time.

I fell on the ground grabbing my head head and shouting in misery, I begged it to stop but the information just kept coming it was so much that dings kept ringing to the point that my ears are now annoyed.

It ended after a bit and I find myself bleeding profusely from my nose and eyes, my ears were tingling like centipedes just started eating it, my mouth felt like a cockroach just nested there as I literally puked out whatever shit I just ate previously.

"Whaaaaaa..."

[Congratulations, Arthur is now the god of Hiraishin no Jutsu]

Ikari stopped and genuinely sounded worried.

[However as poor as you are now, one use of the skill will kill you due to your lack of chakra]

"What...Why?! I...I went through this pain and I can't use it?!"

[Chakra is essentially energy from your soul, as a being from a world where chakra was blocked in the human body you had an original pathetic amounts of chakra]

[On another note being transmigrated into a useless body defiled your soul even more to the point that it's at an astronomically less value than the minuscule amount you had]

[In other words, you're useless at jutsu's so give it up and practice the Hachimon and give yourself a name like the strongest physical assassin]

As much as I wanted to filter out Ikari I couldn't, I stayed down while crying in a pool of blood.

The pain turned me weak and vulnerable, all those years of hardcore training got washed away in a moment's notice, ordinary pain in the flesh wouldn't do this but it was my ego and my mental that was ripped into shreds.

I knew already that I was inherently useless at ninjutsu but I denied all of them and kept with my ego, on how awesome I thought I was while deep inside after my mom died I've been keeping all the anger I had in the corner of my mine and I let go of my humbleness, I wanted to just lay down here and disappear, fuck the 7 cardinal sins, fuck the timeline, fuck the naruto universe, fuck them, fuck me...

I took a kunai and pointed it at myself but just as I was about to do it, a girl stopped me.

It was that same girl from before, looking at her now she had slightly brown hair and was actually cute.

She looked at me with pitiful eyes and stood there tearing up.

"Why?"

Her question echoed throughout my mind and I was officially reduced to being a retard after I realized what I just tried to do.

(Damn, R.I.P Etika)