13 Dee Driving Drama pt 4

SUNDAY. 5:05 PM.

I shift uncomfortably on my feet with my old, stained teddy bear in my hands as I try to stiffle down my sobs. I feel a tear run down my right cheek and my mouth wavers a little, staring straight ahead at the army of men walking towards a bus.

My mum tugs me closer to her as she wraps her warm hands around me. She tries everything she can to make me feel better but there's still one thought on my mind: I hate this.

He crouches low in front of me with a huge smile on.

"Hey my little dynamite!"

I force a smile on but I end up crying in front him. I bend my head low as the sobs take over.

There's silence for a moment and my mum rubs my arm.

"Aww Kinsley my little dynamite. Don't cry. You know Daddy doesn't like that." He reaches forward to grab my arms and he takes my teddy bear from me. "Lisa won't like to see that. She'd want to see you strong."

I lift my head to stare at him. He's holding my teddy bear Lisa in his hands and I let out a sad chuckle.

"But I don't want you to go." I say in a low, shaky voice.

He smiles at me, his green eyes sparkling under the bright sun. "But Daddy has to go. It's Daddy's work." He continues smiling.

I move closer to him and wrap my little arms around his neck. "But stay. I want you to stay. Please stay. There are other soldiers who can go."

My mum chuckles. "He'll be fine Kinsley."

My dad's smile widens the more, "Don't worry, I promise to be back soon and when I come back we'll spend the whole weekend together." He says but I still don't feel satisfied. "And we'd also give Lisa a thorough bath together because she stinks."

I laugh.

"See that's the smile I like." His eyes show genuine love towards me and I could see little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

"You'd be back by tomorrow?" I ask.

He laughs as he sets his hands on my tiny waist. "Not by tomorrow, let's say next week?"

I snort. "That means next year."

He laughs more. "I'll be back."

"I'll miss you." I say in a low voice.

"And I'll miss you a bazillion more." He says in his grumpy bear voice which always makes me laugh every time.

Then he looks straight into my eyes, his green eyes looking deep into my blue ones, his blonde hair the same shade as mine.

"I'll never leave you." He promises. "I'll be back."

He tugs my little blonde pony tail and tickles me causing me to laugh.

He stands back up, grabs his green duffel bag and continues walking in his camouflage uniform alongside the other soldiers, not without giving me one last wave.

My mum pulls me closer- closer than we were.

"He'll be back before you know it. Just close your eyes, and when you open them back up, he'll be standing right in front of you."

I decide to trust her words and close up my eyes.

~~~

I open my eyes back up to see rain pouring down outside the window. The once bright sky is now covered with dark, heavy clouds pouring down intense rain.

Then I sigh, 'I hate dreams'.

I slowly turn my head straight to stretch a little after my nap, I see Dee still in the driver's seat, driving carefully. I then turn my head to the left and I gasp in shock. A smooth face is turned to me and dark blonde locks cover it's closed eyes. It takes about 4 seconds for my brain to register the human beside me as Jake.

I sigh as I calm down a little, recalling the dreadful events which had led me to this seat.

His eyes are completely closed, his face so smooth that it dares me to touch to see if it's actually as smooth as it looks. His sharp nose and lips slightly open as soft, almost silent snores come out. He's slumped in his seat and I smile at the sight, he looks so peaceful then I chuckle as I remember how he looked so pissed the last minute we spoke.

I'm still wondering what made him so angry.

I stare at his facial feature for some seconds more. Then my eyes move over to his arms and I wonder why his skin is so pale, almost like he's never under the sun. He's actually very handsome. If he isn't so annoying and always being an obstacle, I would have admitted that out loud. I pout as I remember all what he had done this few days. From the presents, to this camping trip, keeping me from sitting with Adrian. Asshole.

I shiver from the cold as I stare back out the window at the rain. I stuff my hands into my jean pockets to keep them warm but instead I feel something cold inside and I quickly pull it out.

It's the red nail polish I took earlier from Jenny.

A thought pops up in my mind and I smile to myself then look back at Jake, the freak ass Friday green-eyed dude to see his hands rested on his thighs. His fingers are spread wide open almost like it's begging for a good manicure.

I stifle a giggle. I open up the nail polish and start painting his nails one by one a bright red color.

I close back up the nail polish and admire my beautiful work on both hands. "This is for Friday." I whisper.

My gaze moves back to Adrian and Madison's seat. Gosh, I miss those mountain bags because right now I see Madison resting her head on his shoulder as she sleeps peacefully. But from where I'm seated, I see Adrian's eyes wide open. I wonder if he got any sleep. But most importantly, I wonder what he's thinking about right now. Only if he'll turn to me, maybe I'll be able to tell or even help. But that'll never happen even in a thousand years.

I sigh loudly and bring my eyes back to Jake's fingers and I'm suddenly smiling. I wonder what his reaction will be like when he wakes up.

I guess my 5 hour drive isn't so boring after all.

In the peaceful silence of the bus drive- unlike how noisy it was at first, I look out the window to admire the rain pouring down in heavy folds.

How strange, at this time the rain makes me feel calm– listening to the rain thumping on the top of the bus, hearing the bus enter into little holes filled with water, the tires moving on the now damp pavement. But honestly, it still brings back the darkest memories in life, causing me to feel a little sad.

I bite my lip, desperately trying not to think about my dream. But the awful truth is, it isn't a dream, it's just a reminder of the last day I saw him.

It really happened.

He left and now he's gone.

~~~

– My mum opens up the door to find me sitting with my legs folded beneath me on the floor of my room, dressed in my little black dress and black bow with black flat shoes and Lisa in my hands.

"Hey, aren't you coming down?" I could hear the sad smile in her voice.

I shake my head, finding it hard to form words.

I hear her footsteps walking towards me. "Come on, let's go downstairs. Your Aunts and Uncles are waiting. Even Lennon and Jenny are downstairs."

I manage to raise my head, revealing my eyes filled with hot tears. "I don't want to see any of them. Make them all leave please." I say in a weary voice.

My mum sighs, takes a seat beside me and begins rubbing my back. She's been doing that ever since yesterday. "I know this is hard, Kinsley." She says. "But you're Kinsley. My little fighter."

I begin sobbing and she pulls me into a hug.

"Oh baby. Don't cry. It'll all be alright. Lisa won't want to see you like this. You should be strong at times like this. Always hold your head high. Lisa-"

I immediately cut her off. "Screw Lisa." I move out of her embrace.

"Kinsley." She calls with a surprised look.

I quickly get up on my feet, feeling my emotions at the highest it's ever been at. I hastily search round for my stupid teddy bear, Lisa.

"I hate Lisa!" I yell. I pick up dirty Lisa from the floor, walk towards my window, open it up and throw her out the window.

"Kinsley!" My mum calls.

We were supposed to clean her up together.–

~~~

And I guess that's how almighty, don't-give-a-shit, don't-listen-to-anyone Kinsley started. That was six years ago. And ever since, I've learnt how to cover my sadness and grief with my ego or my anger and put on a fighting spirit.

After that day, I acted like nothing happened. I was so good at hiding my feelings that everyone fell for it, even my mum thinking I was okay. But till now, I still miss my dad.

But I have to be strong, brave, fearless, hold my head high and go after what I want and not relent.

I detach my gaze from the window to Jake seated beside me, still sleeping peacefully.

"I don't know who you are. Or why you're doing this but I won't let you ruin this camping trip for me." I whisper in a low voice more to myself than to him.

As if he hears me, he slowly opens up his eyes and gives me a little smile, almost like he's challenging me.

And I'm stuck staring into green eyes.