3 CH3

That day I was dead from the inside. No one was home so I could cry out loud. I went to the kitchen, took a knife. I tried to cut myself but I had no power to do it. Why was I even born? Like everybody said I shouldn't have been born. I couldn't even talk to my mother about this. She would have said to ignore it. But how can I ignore these things. I had to change myself. But how? If something went wrong, I was the one who got the blame. For everything, at home and at school. I wasn't free. I thought I was the lucky one from our family, but I was the one suffering. I was the one who prayed for her brother everyday, for my sister her studies, my mothers health, my fathers work. I tried to hang up myself, but I didn't have the power. You should be thinking why didn't she have the power. If you ever tried it you could feel me. I just wanted to end my life. My brother never talked to me, even if he said something to me it was hi, how are you, fine, bye. That's it. I didn't even know where my sister was so I couldn't even contact her. I wish I had the power to end my life. I just wanted someone who would listen to me, help me, comfort me. Sometimes I got envious of girls who had boyfriends or many friends. I wanted to be a girl like those. Then why didn't I change?