1 Chapter 1

Today is the day I'll be out of this hospital for good. I was never a fan of hospitals. The smell, the drama you have to watch everyday. It's so annoying, and scary, you can't walk around without the fear of having someone knock you down.

You must be wondering what kind of hospital this is.

Actually it's a psychiatric hospital.

Broadmoor hospital in West London. It is one of the three high-security psychiatric hospitals in England and Wales and treats people with mental illness and personality disorder who represent a high degree of harm to themselves and others.

I've been here for five years as they said, but I can only remember being here for three years. They said I had been unconscious for two years but I still think it's crazy.

They brought me here because I attacked a doctor. Well that's what they said. They said that I have some injuries in my head because of the accident and it caused some damages to the brain. Are they crazy or am I the one that is crazy?

Everything seems crazy.

The people that claim to be my family will be here to take me away. I actually believed they are my parents, not that I was dump, but because of how they treated me. Mom is always loving and caring and I can see the difference in her behavior towards me and other people and our resemblance is very clear. Dad would always have tears in his eyes whenever I have an attack and blame himself for something I never understood, but I never complained. I feel loved and I love them too, a lot.

Knock knock

Someone knocked on the door. I quickly grabbed my bag and headed to the door. Multiple hands wrapped around me squeezing me tightly as soon as I got out. There was silence, but I understood their language of silence. They didn't have to say anything, I knew they were just glad I was finally discharged from the hospital. Mom had always been telling me how they wished I was home with them, how the family had always been incomplete without me.

We passed by many angry and crazy patients trying to get away.

I felt an excitement building in the pit of my stomach as I spotted the main door. I can't remember when last I stepped out as I had lost all of my memories.

I threw my slippers away as soon as we reached outside and dipped my toes in the warm sand. It's good to be out again. To breathe in the wonderful scent of nature and not the disgusting medicine like smell of hospital.

I watched as my parents shared a look with pitiful eyes. Mom bent down and packed my slippers. like I was a little child, she put them back on my feet and lead me to the car. A silver Mercede Benz. Before I could get in, mom turned me around and said something for the first time since they got here today.

"This car is yours. Your father got it for you the day you finished high school."

I smiled and glanced at the car, it's a nice car. And I bet it's super expensive.

" It's a nice car. "  I said.

"Get in now. Let's go home."

We got in and drove away. To our home.

My home.

W

e drove in silence. Dad driving while Mom and I sat at the back seats. Her right hand holding my left hand as if she didn't do that I'll run away. I smiled at her, she returned it and gently squeezed my hand sensing my nervousness and I nodded to assure her that I'm fine.

It has been so long since I've seen them. I can't even imagine how grown they are now. I don't even know if they'll recognize me. I don't know if they'll love me. My heart always aches to see them, to hold them in my arm and sing them lullabies till they fall asleep. To feed them, kiss them and hug them.

"We are here"

Dad said from the front snapping me out of my daydream. We got down and I smiled at the building in front of me. It isn't big but it is homely.

My mood lighten up at the sight of the lovely and bloomy yet scanty  environment. The little green shiny  grasses and different colors of flowers are breath taking. The bright sunny day made it all better.  Neighbors having barbecue party in their backyard, Kids on the playground playing happily throwing muds at each other and their mothers laughing at their actions. I peeped to see if they are amongst them but there was no sign of them.

"They are inside"

My mom said as if she was reading my mind. She seems to always feel my emptiness. That's how mothers are I guess, I know how she feels because I feel it too.

Mom insisted on carrying my bag, we argued over it but Dad resolved the argument by grabbing the bag from me and going inside leaving us with our mouths hung open.

"Are you two just going to stand there, the kids are waiting inside."

We both smiled and went on.

The sweet aroma of food hit my nose as I entered our home. The sight of the cozy and warm living room made me smile. It's indeed a home. A homely home.

Small chattering footsteps came running down the stairs.

"Be careful you two, no running in the house. You may get hurt"

Mom said.

The little cute angels came running to me. Everything stated to happen in a slow motion. The baby blue eyes and blonde hair they got from me reminded me of the first day I saw them.

My angels. My cute little angels.

My children.

My twins.

Ajwad and Azrah.

And I was wrong when I doubted if they'll recognize me.

Infact they know exactly who I am to them and they love me as much.

I am their mother. Farida Ali, the mother of two.