7 October 22, 2020

start 1:20am - hitsugi

been a while huh. I was busy doing my schoolwork stuff, its stressful doing it home cause if how much they just throw at you. I'm passing 1 class with flying colors while the others are doing alright. although... I really do need to pick up one of my grades, it's already such a low F. that's not good for me.

so like I'm eating grapes right now. and I haven't really done anything too big recently. I guess something big is I reached level 46, I think in rocket league. I dont plan to ever buy the rocket pass honestly. I think it's better to earn stuff the harder way. also your only getting cosmetics it's not like if you get that stuff you will get better at the game lmao.

recently I have been sleeping in a bad time, like always. but now I get even less sleep, in one of my classes we talk about how trying to limit screen time can affect you in a better way overall right? well I personally dont really see a reason for it. in the past when I did limit my screen time, nothing fun ever happened. I remember at a certain point in my life I was really into chess but no one in my family would play cause they didnt know the rules. and the other reason was because no one wanted to play a board game anymore, it's really obvious that technology does affect the way people communicate with one another. the way I act on screen can be completely different than reality, but you dont know that. anonymity is a dangerous thing, I remember back when kik was a pretty big thing I had a ipod with no camera that I used. there were a lot of predictors on kik tbh, real scary and I was really young. thank god I wasnt a dumbass to get groomed by them, I mean if I did who knows what would happen. I lost that ipod btw lol.

sometimes I dont know what I type about, recently I've gotten into atmosphere music, or ambient sounds whatever you wanna call it. I really like the way it calms me. I wish I had this a few years ago so I wouldn't have punched the monitor, I had anger issues when I was younger. I can control my anger now.

this is hard to do lol. trying to come up with things to write about. I was gonna try to do like everyday diary and stuff but like, my everyday life is repeatable. nothing ever changes, the only changes would be in the times I end up sleeping at. it the food I ate that day. like today all I ate was a waffle for breakfast, and cereal for dinner. legit all I had today, it's so boring. my life is boring, I want something interesting to happen at least once.

oi oi oi just cuz I say stuff like that it dont mean I'm depressed or cutting myself lol. I'm overall a level-headed guy, I can tell what's right and what's wrong. I'm not gonna cut myself just cause of all these feelings, that would be stupid.

damn bruh I'm tired, I'm sleeping now. I'll write again later maybe. bye.

finish 1:36am - hitsugi