1 Chapter 1

(Kiyoshi's pov)

Where should I start? My name is Kiyoshi Takeda, a second-year student in Sobu High School. I was currently headed to the teacher's room since my Japanese teacher, Shizuka Hiratsuka, wanted to talk to me.

This was the first time that I was called there and I was a bit nervous. Why wouldn't I? Call me crazy, but when a teacher wants to speak with you privately it's not usually to congratulate you because you did something good.

Not trying to brag here, but I considered myself to be a good person. I had decent marks, I didn't cause trouble, I even tried to help a little girl who was lost the other day! She was crying because she couldn't find her father and I tried to calm her down, only for her father to appear a few minutes later and yell at me because he thought that I was going to kidnap her or something.

"Stay away from my daughter, you creep!" He said. "Fulfil your role as a father and take care of your daughter so she doesn't get lost, jackass!" Is what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I was better than that.

Besides, he did apologize once his daughter explained everything. That didn't change the fact that the other pedestrians looked at me as if I was human trash though.

Anyways, I'm getting side-tracked here. I was about to arrive to the teacher's lounge when I spotted another student about to enter. Dead fish eyes met with mine and I recognized him instantly.

Hachiman Hikigaya, class 2-F. My classmate, in fact. We had never talked to each other before, but then again, we weren't very sociable to begin with. I sent a simple nod in his direction and he did the same.

After that, he opened the door and we both stepped in the room, looking as enthusiastic as ever.

xxxxxxx

"Say, Hikigaya, what was the assignment that I handed out during class?" Hand in forehead and looking exasperated, Hiratsuka-sensei asked this question to my classmate.

"...well, it was an essay with the topic 'Looking Back on High School Life'."

"Exactly. So then why did you write a threat letter? Are you a terrorist? Or perhaps, an idiot?"

I didn't read his essay, but I doubted that it was that bad for her to call him an idiot... right?

As I wondered what in the world he wrote in that essay, Hikigaya was grinning for some reason. Until Hirasuka-sensei hit him in the head with a bundle of paper, that is.

"Pay attention!"

"Yes."

"Your eyes, they're like the eyes of a rotting fish."

"Do they really seem that rich in omega-3? Makes me sound smart."

I couldn't help but sweatdrop at this unusual exchange. Was this normal? A teacher was literally making fun of a student's eyes, but the other teachers were just ignoring it, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Hikigaya. What is with this tasteless essay? I'd at least like to hear some sort of reason." This time she glared at him with a scary expression, making a shiver go down my spine. At least that anger wasn't directed at me...

"Uh- Well- I... did reflect on my high school life, didn't I? Nowadays this is exceedingly what high school life is like, you know! My essay is pretty close to it!"

As the exchange kept going, my curiosity grew and now I really wanted to read what he wrote.

"Usually, such a question would require you to reflect on your own experiences, don't you think?"

"Then please preface the question by saying so. If you'd done that, I would have written the essay accordingly. Isn't it your fault for writing a misleading question, sensei?"

"Oh stop being so pedantic, kid."

"Kid...? Well, certainly from the perspective of someone your age, I am a kid, I guess."

Not even a second later, I felt a powerful gush of wind. My mouth was slightly agape when I saw sensei's fist near Hikigaya's cheek.

"The next one won't miss." If looks could kill, Hikigaya would be two metres underground by now. Jeez, what a scary woman.

"Y-yes ma'am."

With that, her eyes turned to me. It looked like it was my turn now. Yay....

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

Her eyes narrowed as she left Hikigaya's essay on her desk.

"This abomination that he calls an essay aside, Hikigaya at least wrote something."

Ignoring his offended "Oi.", I responded her the same way that I had earlier during class.

"I already told you, I forgot. Is it really that big of a deal? Besides, this is the first time that it happened. Are you going to start calling every single student that forgets to do their homework here?"

If that were the case, the teacher's lounge would be crowded with my classmates in no time. Why call me out of all people? I always did my homework. In the nick of time before the classes started, but she didn't need to know that.

"You're right, and I would normally let it slide if the essay wasn't about this particular topic. What a coincidence that someone as antisocial as you forgets to do an essay that involves talking about friends and experiences in high school, don't you think?"

Avoiding her accusatory gaze, I muttered.

"You're overthinking it."

A vein popped on her head and she sighed exasperatedly while rubbing her temple. But that was a good sign, right? Maybe she finally got tired of us and would let us go... Heh, as if it would be that easy.

"Seriously, you two. You do know that in a few years you will be members of society, right?"

"I fear for Japan's future." I tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work.

From the breast pocket that was on the verge of bursting, Hiratsuka-sensei pulled out a Seven Stars (A brand of cigarettes in Japan) and tapped its filter hard against her desk. After packing the tobacco, she clicked a lighter and lit her cigarette. Taking a drag, she looked at us with a serious look on her face.

"You're not in any clubs, right?"

"Right." Hachiman.

"Nope."

"Do you guys have any friends?" Hiratsuka.

"Well, I- I'll have you know that I live by the virtue of impartiality, and as such, am unable to have particularly intimate relationships with people!"

"...no friends then." I chuckled.

"Shut up. As if you were any different."

"Can't argue with you there."

We were interrupted by sensei suddenly clapping her hands together.

"So that's how it is! You really don't have any friends!" Why did she sound so happy? "Exactly as I had diagnosed."

Great, apparently I was sick. Might as well leave and go home to rest.

"...what about a girlfriend or something?"

"Well, I don't have one right now..." Hachiman.

I shook my head no when she looked at me.

"I see..."

I had to resist the urge to ask her if she had a boyfriend, it was probably a bad idea.

"Well. The fact remains that your heartless words and behaviour have hurt my feelings. Were you never taught not to talk to a woman about her age? As a result, you are required to join the service club. After all, wrongdoings must be punished."

I had no idea what this service club was, but I left those doubts aside because Hikigaya's indignant expression was priceless. I put a hand on his shoulder trying to hide my amused smile.

"Good luck."

He glared at me, making the situation even funnier. However, my amusement was short-lived due to sensei's next words.

"You're not getting out of this either, Takeda. You are going to join the service club as well."

"Are you kidding me? I only forgot to write the essay, come on! I'll write it for tomorrow, okay!?"

My desperate plead only made Hiratsuka-sensei's smile grow even wider.

"Of course you will. But you are going to join the service club either way."

This time I was the one who felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to Hikigaya, who was looking at me with a smug smile.

"Good luck to you too."

"...shut up."

xxxxxxxx

I just wanted to go home. If I knew that this would happen, I would have written the damn essay without a doubt. But it was too late now and here I was, walking through the corridors of the school with my teacher and this classmate of mine who I hadn't talked to at all.

"I have this chronic disease in my lower back... which is, her.... her... herpes? Yeah, that's it..."

Great excuse Hikigaya, you totally got her. Wait, why did this sound familiar?

"I think you're referring to hernia. However, there's no need for you to worry. What I'm asking you to do is not manual labor."

What was this service club anyways? As a teenager that I was, I couldn't stop my mind from thinking some perverted things. Hey, blame the one who came up with that name, not me.

"I have this illness where I die upon entering a classroom."

"Lucky you." I muttered.

After a few more minutes of walking, Hiratsuka-sensei finally stopped in front of a classroom's door.

"We're here."

The classroom that she had stopped in front of was not unusual. There was nothing written on the doorplate. Maybe it was being used as a storage room?

Without even knocking, sensei entered the classroom with me and Hikigaya following behind. There were chairs and tables pilled up in cluttered stacks along the edge.

By the light of the sunset, a girl was reading a book. I recognized her instantly the moment that I saw her. Realizing that there were visitors, she placed a bookmark in her book and looked up.

"Hiratsuka-sensei. I thought I told you to knock before you enter..."

Waist-length beautiful black hair and angular blue eyes. There stood Yukino Yukinoshita in all her glory.

"Even if I do knock you never respond." Sensei replied nonchalantly.

"That's because you enter before I have time to respond." She gave sensei a disapproving look before glancing at us. She did seem to recognize me, which was normal since I had quite the reputation in the school.

However, I decided to do what I always did and pretended not to notice. That way people usually get bored and just let me be. That or look at them in the eye until they feel uncomfortable and look elsewhere.

"Why did you bring these two with you?"

"Let me introduce you. These two are Hikigaya and Takeda. They're looking to join the club."

No, we are not.

"I'm Hikigaya Hachiman – Grade 11, Class F. Um... Hey... What do you mean by join?"

"You two must engage in this club's activities as a penalty. I won't allow any disagreement, objection, protest questions or retorts. Cool down for a bit, reflect on your actions!"

"Forgetting to do my homework once is not a crime..."

"With that being said, you can probably tell by looking, but their hearts are considerably corrupt. As a result, they are both pitiable, lonely people."

Hey, that's rude! I'll have you know that mum always told me that I was the most handsome boy in the world! Such a wise woman she was.

"If that's how it is, I think it would be a good idea if you beat and kick some discipline into them." Yukinoshita said.

"Please don't." I muttered.

"I would if it was something I could do, but lately I've been having some problems myself. Also, physical violence is not permitted."

Did that mean that physiological violence was okay for her?

"I respectfully decline. That boy's lecherous eyes are filled with hidden intent that makes me feel that my life is in danger." She said while looking at Hikigaya. "Besides, if I am seen spending time with him it would be social suicide." She stated, now looking at me.

I turned around.

"Welp, you heard her."

I tried to leave the room, but Hiratsuka-sensei grabbed me by the back of the school uniform's collar, keeping me in place.

"Don't worry Yukinoshita. Their hearts might be corrupt, but these two wouldn't harm a fly."

There were a few seconds of silence until a sigh was heard from Yukinoshita's direction. I couldn't see her because I was still trying to reach the door.

"Well, if it's a request from sensei, I can't very well refuse... I accept."

I couldn't see her face, but I imagined that Hiratsuka-sensei was smiling widely.

"Okay. Then, I'll leave the rest to you."

And with that, me and Hikigaya were left standing alone in the classroom with this girl.

Great, just great.