1 Introduction
Recently I have informed that a doctor called Dr. R Jenkins has written a book about me, or well it is more of a study into me. As of late I am yet to read said book however, I should have done so by the time I finish writing this. So, I guess must thank Dr. R Jenkins for inspiring me to write this book. As many people know I am what society has deemed me as a serial killer, but it runs much deeper than that and I wanted to that give my firsthand account on that. This is in no way an attempt to derive pity from you I am just merely telling my side of the story. I am no longer the mass murderer as you know me to be, I am reformed and surrounded by people that I love and that love me. Some know of my time as The Showcase Killer, and some don't, and I think that is for the best. I am aware that my writing this will course a lot of controversy and bring up many bad feelings as I have never been apprehended and brought to 'justice'. However, I do want to point out that I have no intention of revealing my identity and/or turning myself in, this is purely so that you can some at least some insight as to way I became who I became and did what I did.
I was a monster; some may argue that I still am. I will not fault those who do, as I have no right to, but up until a few days ago I had no knowledge of the extent of my actions. Repression. Repression (for anyone who does not know) is the psychological attempt to direct one's own desires and impulses toward pleasurable instincts by excluding them from one's consciousness and holding or subduing them in the unconscious. Or in other words when you have gone through something so traumatic that you subconsciously suppress it so that you do not have to deal with the guilt, pain and other negative emotions that are tied with it. This is exactly what had happened to me. Now you are probably wondering how I am writing this book with the faintest idea of what I did, well for reasons still unbeknownst to me I decided to recover these repressed memories. Why would I willing want to remember the heinous crimes I committed, I do not know maybe because I am crazy or maybe it is because I feel so guilty for not knowing every gruesome detail of what I did or maybe it is both. It was a long and tedious road to recovering my memories, but I did it and now for those of you who have always wanted to know what made my brain tick, now you can.
They say that it only takes one: one event, one person, one moment to break you. Well, I call bullshit. You see from my experience it takes one thing that causes a domino effect to occur and once that final piece falls that is when you are truly crushed.
214.
The number of lives I took. 214. Those of you that have followed my killings know that The Showcase Killer did not kill that many people and you would be correct. A number of those people were before I became The Showcase Killer and others were more of a side hustle, a means of getting my job done when I did not have a creative kill in mind but that is a story of another time. And yes, I did say job because that was what it was, a job. Everyone made me out to be some heartless serial-killer and I guess how I went about each kill did not help that but in realty behind the scenes were much different to what you might think. I was made to be a personal assassin.
