A Trying Attempt

Ten seconds. I think ten seconds, it felt like ten, the second attempt… that's how long I managed to hold out until I was flung off my feet once more, writhing, squirming, fighting not to pass out in the dirt. 

Third try, and it felt even shorter than that. Seven? Five? I just remembered the pain, the stabbing, the falling, before I even had the chance to tell myself not to. The bright blue sky would burn at my retinas, but I couldn't keep them close - it was dangerous to close them. Open, they have to stay open. I had to stay awake.

I remember one gloomy, lazy day, months and months ago between jobs, using the last of my internet before it got cut just browsing away at random, and I recall spending a whole hour just watching videos of people getting tased - morbid curiosity, I suppose.