246 My SI Stash #46 - Have Scythe, Will Travel by Notsae (Naruto)

-Some hardcore gore with the SI being Hidan~ Rumour has it that the author's getting sacrifices IRL for Jashin hence the lack of updates!

Sypnosis: After Hidan's live burial, Jashin decides she doesn't like him enough to save him and caches in a favour with the apathetic god of time; allowing her to go back to the moment she chose him and replace him. I'm more than happy to take his place; after all, who wants to be a hero, eh? Villainy is far more fun. OC-Insert. Evil MC

Rated: M

Words: 56K

Posted on: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12830216/1/Have-Scythe-Will-Travel (Notsae)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)

Chosen

Waking up already walking is a rather jarring experience; so jarring, in fact, that I nearly fell flat on my face. Luckily I had a staff to catch myself on and didn't wind up with the first moments of my new life being an impromptu make out session with a dirt road.

I wasn't really surprised to see the "staff" I had used to prop myself up was actually a tri-bladed scythe. See, I knew exactly where I was and how I got here. Jashin wasn't too happy with Hidan going out like a dumbass bitch, nor did she particularly like the relationship they had.

Hidan never quite grasped what being Jashin's champion meant. It wasn't like a normal worshipper; they offer prayers and sacrifices and in exchange are given a limited form of immortality and sometimes some extras based on the amount of sacrifices offered up. Jashin's champion on the other hand was a much more intimate relationship; closer and more personal, not just sexual.

See, every god chooses a champion, and when they do they can't help but fall in love with them, no matter how much such a tender emotion clashes with their nature. As the god of murder, violence, war, pain, chaos, death, torture, rape, etcetera Jashin naturally chose the strongest and most prolific of her followers; Hidan just managed to steal that title by massacring Yugakure.

Unfortunately for him Jashin realized after his live burial that she didn't like him enough to save him; so she cashed in a favour with the ever uncaring god of time to go back to the moment she chose him and make a different choice. She rather quickly realised that she'd never get the relationship she wanted from the sycophantic morons that worshipped her and decided to branch out, snatching me from a hospital wing and offering a deal. See, I was just the right kind of monster she was looking for; amoral and generally uncaring whilst still capable of forming bonds. I had never become a killer simply because I thought it wasn't worth the effort and whilst I could abandon friendships as easily as choosing what to have for breakfast, I still did care while they lasted. My disdain for authority told her I wouldn't turn into a sycophant, my capacity to care told her the relationship she wanted was possible, and my amoral nature told her I wouldn't have a problem getting her sacrifices.

The fact that a god of slaughter considered me good boyfriend material was mildly concerning; though I couldn't really say I was that upset.

Waking up in Hidan's body was a bit of a surprise; the fact that he was mid step when I replaced him made me think I may be getting pranked.

"I swapped your souls at the exact moment I chose him as my champion." And that would presumably be Jashin herself. "Indeed, my champion." And she can read my mind… lovely. No really, having absolutely no privacy is really good for the old mental health.

I smirk, hefting my shiny new scythe on my shoulder, "Meh, sanity is for the weak." I turned around, intent on robbing the village "I" just massacred; Hidan may have been content with his single jutsu and no money but I'm certainly not. Even a minor village like Yugakure has to have some techniques; hopefully some Kinjutsu I can use my immortality to abuse the fuck out of!

Searching the blood streaked (wow, Hidan does not kill clean) streets of what was ostensibly my home was mildly disturbing; I felt nothing but mild amusement at all the mutilated bodies around me, but I still vaguely expected one to attack me. The thought that technically I killed these people somewhat bothered me; though not as much as it probably should have. I went from house to house, shoving valuables and currency into a convenient sack I found in the first house I searched. Having to lower myself to lugging around a burlap sack full of goodies like a common thug made me place learning sealing on my priorities list; besides, who knows what kind of crazy tricks I could pimp out my scythe with if I figured out sealing!

A rising pillar of smoke led me to a section of Yugakure I decided to loot quickly (can't let the fire steal all the swag now can I?). Upon seeing what exactly was on fire I nearly sank to my knees in a puddle of ash and blood.

Turns out, Yugakure did have a library… until Hidan burned it down. I rushed into the glorious institution of knowledge collection, trusting in my Jashin granted immortality to get me out alive; I simply couldn't let all that knowledge just burn away! Only a couple of scrolls managed to survive, most of them were basic chakra control exercises and a rare few mostly intact jutsu, but nothing advanced or unique.

Dejected, I headed to the Kage tower; if I'm lucky my bodies former (and totally unworthy) owner won't have bothered burning the forbidden scroll or the Kage's personal library. I know basic techniques are still things I need to learn, but damn was it demoralising to see all that literature just dissolve into ashes before my eyes.

Normally robbing a Kage tower would not be an easy task by any stretch of the imagination for anyone below S-rank; thankfully this one came pre-slaughtered! The conveniently smashed open (and blood splattered) door did nothing to bar my passage into the gore streaked interior of the former head of this nation's governance. Seeing a half liquified body stuck to a wall by its own drying blood and entangled intestines as I walked up the stairs was a bit of a novel experience; luckily putrefaction hasn't set in enough for the wretched smell to violate my nose (much like the pens jammed into the apparent secretary's nose and rammed into the brain with skull cracking force).

I searched around the Yukage's office, noting the distinct lack of Yukage in the room. I found a bunch of paperwork that told me very clearly that this town was a bit of a shithole even before Hidan (I?) decided to redecorate a bit; no wonder they were switching to a tourism based economy if the whole ninja business was going down in a flaming zeppelin like these reports suggested.

Eventually I got bored of looking for secret triggers to open secret passageways and just began slashing at the wall with my giant fuck off scythe, which proved much more effective… and taught me just how hard it would be to effectively wield a scythe as a primary weapon (first chance I get I'm sharpening the top of each blade). The third wall I eviscerated proved to have been false and revealed a beautiful, virgin library all for me!

I didn't bother reading more than a few titles before shoving every last scroll into a second sack I had kept just for stealing scrolls and books. Moving at ninja speeds (thank Jashin I didn't have some period of adjustment for the shiny new body) it only took me a few minutes to collect every scroll in the small library, and less time to find the false wall near the back. Stepping through the door, I smirked at the massive scroll sitting on a pedestal in the middle of the room; this is the real reason I came back here.

I tentatively approach, searching for traps the whole way and being very surprised to find none (though, judging by Naruto's ease with stealing Konoha's equivalent, perhaps I shouldn't be). I slowly unfurled the scroll, and smiled.

Being a small village, I wasn't surprised that Yugakure didn't have much in the way of forbidden techniques; but Kakuzu stealing the Jiongu from Taki told me that Yu might have something of value. I was glad I bothered checking; this scroll contained little, mostly just suicide techniques (that I made a mental note to go over considering my immortality made such techniques viable); but what the Yukage considered worth banning that wasn't suicidal made me grin. This confirmed a theory I had held for a long time; non-physical bloodlines are bullshit.

Within the large scroll was the instructions for learning the Boil Release without possessing the bloodline. Based on the details, the techniques were developed when a Jonin decided that he should honour his village by designing techniques that used hot water. He succeeded; but then he decided to push it further, and accidentally utilized the Boil Release. The Yukage of his time, upon seeing this, immediately forbade him from using it and labeled it a forbidden technique; apparently he feared the Terumi clan would come and cull their village if they discovered that their techniques were being stolen. As both an immortal and a rogue; I couldn't give less of a fuck what a near extinct clan thought about me stealing their techniques. In fact, I intended to use this primer on mixing elements to learn all the sub-elements; maybe even make some new ones.

People underestimated Hidan as the weakest of the Akatsuki; they weren't entirely wrong. Amongst the Akatsuki Hidan was by far the weakest; but he was S-rank for a reason and it wasn't just his immortality. His weapon was deadly and unique, designed to be very difficult to block without receiving damage; and he wielded the cumbersome weapon masterfully. Many claimed it was his lack of intelligence that made him weak; I disagree, his easy understanding of unfamiliar jutsu showed a high intelligence. No, what always held Hidan back was arrogance and a lack of techniques. If he hadn't been blinded by his arrogance he may have actually trained, utilizing his incredible durability to push himself further than most. If he hadn't relied so heavily on the single technique he used he may have been a serious threat to a great many people.

A maniacal grin spread across my face as equally twisted laughter crawled between my teeth; with this I could propel myself into the true upper echelons. With my immortality I could push my body to limits most couldn't ever reach in training, without Hidan's arrogance I could see just how useful versatility and trickery was. Warfare is deception, after all.

I gently set the large scroll into my second sack amongst its brethren before turning to leave; whistling a merry tone the whole way. I wasn't here to save people, couldn't care less for peace and global happiness. I'm a very selfish man; I'm here for my own entertainment and to save myself. Leave all that hero shit for the dull masses; villainy is far more fun. The terms Jashin gave me in exchange for coming here were simple; be her champion. She had gone on to explain what that meant; all of my kills count as sacrifices to her (and I was strongly encouraged to provide as many as possible) and I need to have a close relationship with her. I was more than happy to accept; immortality and all I need is to be friends with a murder god? Hell yeah.

Something caught my gaze as I walked out and I turned toward the large window in the Kage's office. For a moment I stared at the moonlit village, looking for any sign of what caught my attention. I almost turned away before I saw it; movement. Someone or something was moving through the shadowed streets.

I frowned, it wasn't impossible some animal had come from the surrounding forest, or perhaps a pet got free (I have no idea if Hidan killed them along with the humans) but somehow I doubted it. The possibility that that flicker of movement in the shadows was a shinobi (either returning from a mission or sent by another nation) was too high to ignore.

"It is likely a shinobi." How exactly did she know that, now? "I can sense violence and purveyors of it; shinobi drip with blood, no matter how hard they try to scrub it off." Huh, I have a built in sensory ability not based on chakra like Naruto… good to know. Wonder what else being Jashin's champion came with?

I shook my head; now isn't the time to be experimenting with my abilities. My frown twisted into a scowl; I have no idea what rank Hidan was, but I have no training or combat experience whatsoever. I could try to sneak out but I highly doubt my stealth skills were good enough to evade anyone a village considered competent enough to send on a solo mission.

My lips turned up in a vicious grin, "Well, a crucible of fire it is." At least I had the handicap of immortality to fall back on if things (inevitably) went to shit. I turned away from the window, taking my time to walk outside and doing nothing to hide my presence; I wanted them to find me.

I wasn't disappointed; I had barely took a step out of the Kage tower when a figure in dark clothes and a vaguely owl shaped mask appeared before me. "Hidan-san!" They called, "Did you see what happened?"

I shrugged, unintentionally drawing attention to the bags I held slung over my shoulder if the way their yellow eyes darted to it was anything to go by; evidently their mask was meant to be ironic if it took them this long to notice such an obvious detail. I smirked as their eyes narrowed, "Nah, I just got here a little before you." Technical truth; the best kind of truth.

Disdain was simply dripping off them, "Hmph, always knew you were the opportunistic sort but I never thought you'd stoop so low as to rob your neighbors during a crisis." Apparently he still hadn't noticed the blood splattered on my clothes; either that or he thought I got it while I was looting. Not the sharpest hammer on the tree is he?

My smirk grew, "Neighbors?" I asked faux-innocently, "What neighbors?"

Narrowed eyes widened in shock as he took a stumbled half-step back, "Wh-what do you mean!" There was anger in his voice, barely masking the confusion and fear.

My smirk turned to a sadistic grin, "Did you think there were survivors? Yugakure's dead, boy; along with everyone in it." Was it my imagination or were those tears in his eyes?

His posture screamed despair for a moment before shifting to rage, "You lying piece of shit! When Yukage-sama gets here he'll-"

I cut him off, "Oh, I'm so scared of what a corpse is gonna do to me for my insubordination. I'm fairly certain the Yukage is resting in pieces a little ways that way." I jerked my head over his left shoulder.

He turned to look, exposing his back to me for a brief moment… and I ruthlessly capitalized. Perhaps he heard the disturbance my scythe caused or perhaps he merely expected my betrayal; regardless, he ducked under my scythe as it passed through the air once occupied by his neck.

He whirled to face me as my massive blade passed over his head, pulling a kunai from a pouch on his thigh as he turned. He snarled, flinging the short blade at me. "Traitor!" he screamed, voice cracking from his shear rage.

I smirked, leaning my head to the side; letting the kunai pass me by in a move I never would have been able to pull off in life. I watched with half-lidded eyes as the probable Anbu leapt away to try to get distance. Pointless.

I whipped my scythe forward, letting go part way through the swing and using the attached wire to use the blade like a flail. The crimson crescents sliced through the air like a bird of prey, intent on skewering my prey. The more experienced ninja's reaction took me by surprise, though truly it shouldn't have.

He stepped forward, stretching out his arm to catch my scythe well below the deadly blades. My shock didn't last long and I yanked back on the wire, wrenching the shaft from his grasp and slicing him near in half… or at least it should have.

Rather than try to hold his ground and get minced, he let my (subconsciously chakra enhanced) pull drag him to me. My eyes widened as he was carried along with my blade; apparently I was stronger than I thought (and my bodies muscle memories still existed).

I could see the empty satisfaction in his glowing eyes as he approached, a kunai in hand. My eyes widened as I tossed my bags aside, going for a kunai of my own only to find Hidan didn't have any (maybe people weren't to far off with the stupidity theory). My wide and panicked eyes locked with his grimly smug gaze as he grew closer.

His blade slipped into my throat just as my hand wrapped around the haft of my scythe. I stumbled back, a hand flying to my throat as shock spread across my face. Slowly I turned around, collapsing onto my scythe to keep my body from falling.

The pain was incredible, though it had nothing on the disturbing sensation of my lungs filling with blood. Even so, I couldn't keep the blood stained grin from spreading across my face as I purposely directed my thoughts to Jashin, "Can you tell how far away he is?" I mentally asked. As an Anbu his footsteps were far too quiet for my (mostly) untrained ears to detect.

"I can." I could feel her pleasure at my asking for help; apparently Hidan never did. Odd considering how much he revered Jashin.

"Then can you tell me when he's in range?" I projected an image of what I had planned to her.

A moment passed in silence… then another…

"Now." Her voice was as calm and deranged as always.

I whirled, holding my scythe in a reverse grip. His skill showed even then; for rather than the middle blade ramming through his side, the top blade carved a deep gash across his chest.

I grinned, flinging the kunai once impaled in my throat at the man as he stumbled back. Even taken by surprise and wounded he managed to redirect the blade with the back of his hand.

My smirk returned as I scooped up a handful of the blood pouring from my throat, tossing it on the ground before repeating the process a few more times. I stepped on top of the puddles of blood, sliding my legs around to draw the symbol of Jashin around me. It was rather crude compared to Hidan's work, but Jashin assured me it was serviceable.

The injured Anbu stared at me in shock, "How the hell are you alive!?" he shouted.

In lieu of answering I raised my scythe to my lips, licking some of the blood from the longest blade with a gurgling laugh. As I swallowed the blood I couldn't feel anything change but I could see as my skin blackened and white, bone like marks appeared.

"What the hell did you just do!" Not very cool under pressure this guy; surprised he managed to make it into the black-ops division with that attitude.

I just laughed, the gurgling leaving as my regeneration kicked in to heal up my throat. Slowly, I raised my scythe to my neck; a sadistic grin stretched across my face as I gently pressed the blade into my flesh. "You cut my throat…" my voice seemed to shock him into stillness, "Perhaps I should repay the favour?" So saying I pulled my blade sharply to the side, cutting so deep into my flesh I could feel it scrape my spine.

The agony was exquisite, like fire tearing away at my throat. Even with what should be unbearable agony imposed on my inexperienced mind, I couldn't keep my eyes off my opponent as my wound stretched across his neck. My pain seemed to fade as Jashin settled more heavily over my mind; perhaps she was protecting me from it, perhaps she was encouraging the development of masochistic tendencies to match my sadistic ones.

"Both. Your life will be much easier if pain doesn't bother you and the rituals will be more effective if it gives you pleasure…" She trailed off for a moment before haltingly continuing, "I… do not enjoy seeing you suffer." She seemed honestly surprised by this revelation.

My smile gentled at her words before becoming all the more cruel as blood spurted from the Anbu's throat, splattering all over his shirt and the ground before him as he sank to his knees. His hands shook as he raised them to his throat, animal instincts desperate to stop the flow his mind knew couldn't be halted. His breath came in desperate gurgles, blood filling lungs that hungered for unreachable air. This wasn't like the movies, it took several minutes for him to finally succumb to his wound, and his eyes were locked on mine for every second of that time.

I laughed as the light slowly left his eyes, the sound growing all the more maniacal as he teetered for a moment before collapsing fully to the blood splattered earth. My laughter only grew louder and more psychotic as the seconds ticked by; my whole body leaning back and shaking as my crackles split the night. Tears streamed from my eyes as I repeatedly slammed my scythe into the ground beside me; the shock and thrill of such a near death (my mind still hadn't quite adapted to immortality) experience followed so quickly by my first kill getting to me more than I thought it would.

Jashin had no words of comfort; I suspect she didn't know what was wrong, couldn't understand how murder could mess with even the coldest of minds. "I have seen the effects of every conflict throughout all of history. Suffering is my domain and I know all it's causes. I'm just more experienced at exploiting weaknesses, not patching them up." A long moment passed with only my hysterical (and increasingly breathless) laughter to fill the void before she spoke again. "I… want to help you… but I do not know how." She finally admitted.

My laughter slowed to a stop and I wound up hunched over clutching my knees to keep from falling; desperately sucking in air to appease burning lungs. "Heh... heh… I suppose I'll simply have to get used to this. At least it's kinda fun." I muttered, slowly straightening out my stance. I shook my head rapidly, trying to shake off the horror of my actions. "For now, Jashin; your intention is good enough. Knowing someone, even a god of evil, still gives a fuck is comforting in a way." I felt her influence settle over my mind, dulling my emotions to a degree. It felt like she was eating them, draining the pain away into herself. A moment passed and I felt fine; my panic sucked away and replaced with my underlying humour.

"Well that certainly helped; what exactly did you just do?" I questioned as I walked over to the fallen nin (my first victim), flipping him over with my foot (note to self; get boots). To my surprise he was still (barely) alive, his now dull, sightless yellow eyes moving rapidly from side to side as if searching for something. I frowned and stomped on his head, my bodies great strength easily reducing it to so much paste.

"I found a way to help. I am the god of pain; I simply took yours away." Makes sense, I suppose; it is one of her domains so why shouldn't she be able to control it? Shrugging and accepting her revelation, I began rifling through the dead ninja's pockets (immediately strapping his Kunai pouch to my own leg) in search of anything useful or valuable.

My search uncovered several weapons (all of which I stole), a photo of what appeared to be a small family (which I tossed on top of his smashed skull with a snicker), and a Bingo Book. I smirked, flipping through the book for a time (occasionally pausing on familiar names or interesting people) before finding a circled image. I reached down and pulled off his crushed mask, thankful that my impulsive execution hadn't mangled his face as much as it could have. His face, while smashed and perforated by the fragments of his shattered skull, was still recognizably the same as the circled image.

My lips curled up, it seems my little Anbu was a touch prideful; he kept track of his own bounty, seeming to be affronted by his relatively low stats and bounty. I laughed, "Lucky me, I stumbled into my first bounty." Hmm, bounty hunting… a decent way of attracting Kakuzu's attention whether he's in the Akatsuki yet or not.

Not to mention all the money I could make.

I picked the body up and tossed him into the air, catching him on my scythe and leaning it against my shoulder before collecting my bags and strolling out of the village as the fire from the library spread across the town; whistling a merry tune as I went. Time to try and find a bounty station… and a good place to train.

I stopped at the village gates, reaching up to grab my hitai-ate from around my neck. Slowly I pulled the symbol of my affiliation from my neck, turning it around to stare contemplatively at the scarred surface and crossed out symbol. My eyes turn to the dead Anbu impaled through the chest on all three of my blades, spotting his own untarnished hitai-ate strapped to his upper arm.

I never understood why missing-nin kept these or why black-ops agents would wear one at all; wasn't the whole point of both that your not affiliated with your village (at least officially in the case of black-ops) anymore? It especially confused me that people like Hidan and Kakuzu would keep theirs when both hated their villages and felt betrayed by them.

I glanced back at the ruins of Yugakure as they were slowly incinerated before shoving my head band in my loot sack, pulling the Anbu's from his arm and shoving it in as well. It might be fun to start a collection and I'm sure the headband of a now defunct village will be a rare piece to make other collectors jealous.

I smirked and walked off into the dark.

Hidan blinked awake, staring at the sterile white walls in confusion. Where was he? A voice drew his gaze to a tall man in a lab coat checking over a clipboard. He spoke in a unknown language, seeming to think Hidan understood him. Is this a hospital? Hidan had never been in one, being immortal and all (he usually just barred the doors and set them on fire when he was purging a village).

A dark grin spread across the reborn mass murderer's face as he slowly stood up; ignoring the supposed doctor's shocked gasp. He started babbling, gesturing at the bed as Hidan pulled the tubes and wires from himself. The serial killer's grin widened as he pricked his finger on the I.V. needle.

The doctor's increasingly frantic gesturing and calls are silenced as Hidan's hand wraps around his throat. "Rejoice, sinner! For I shall bring an end to your fear with the love of Jashin-sama!"

So saying he plunged the needle into the doctor's eye with a joyously psychotic laugh.

Chapter 2

I only realised I had no fucking idea where I was after nearly a solid day of aimless wandering. I used Jashin's ability to detect killers to avoid wandering Shinobi; four days later it helped me find a bounty station. Jashin detected that a large amount of killers frequented a seemingly innocuous building in a small, non-ninja village and I felt it would be worth checking out.

I hadn't spent all that time simply stumbling about; by tying my bags to my scythe I not only increased the weight (already enhanced by the now rotting corpse attached) to potentially increase my swing speed, I also freed up a hand to read scrolls with.

Admittedly, being on the run wasn't the best place to sit down and train; I wanted to get the fuck outta dodge before war broke out over the now available territory. The only thing I really managed was dodging ninjas from a great distance, repeatedly swinging my scythe with one or both hands, reading basic scrolls (not wanting to risk the rarer stuff out in the open), and practicing basic chakra control exercises. I'm just glad it never rained and ruined all my swag!

Actually walking into the benign looking little restaurant was daunting until I realised I probably didn't actually have a bounty; who's gonna post it from a nation with no survivors or witnesses? With a good deal of false bravado I entered the little restaurant, attempting to ignore the looks people gave me. Oddly, entering a restaurant with a partially decomposed body impaled on a scythe only got me a few raised eyebrows and a couple wrinkled noses.

I glanced around; the place was rather quant and old fashioned, a fire-lit atmosphere enhanced by dark wooden walls and furniture. The food looked and smelled decent enough, but Jashin assured me that food, water, and even air were unnecessary for me (which explained why Hidan could still talk without lungs) and I wasn't one to waste money I don't have on luxuries I don't need.

A helpful patron with an unnaturally blank face glanced at the corpse I've been lugging around and pointed to the bathroom; likely seeing my inexperience with bounty hunting and deciding to help a newcomer. Nice guy; I'll kill him quick if it comes down to it.

I walked into the unsurprisingly clean bathroom, looking around for any sign of where the station might be. I was about to start knocking on walls when Jashin spoke up, "Death radiates from behind the second stall; many killers, both dead and alive, have passed through that stall. The other stalls are nearly untouched." Well, that solves that problem then.

I open the stall, noticing the lack of a toilet right away but not seeing any means of ingress. As far as I could tell the wall was perfectly smooth and seamless; not even a hint of a door. Frowning, I decided to try knocking on the wall; if that didn't work I could always try knocking it down, though somehow I don't think that's a good idea considering the more experienced bounty hunters I'll likely piss off with such a move.

Fortunately, before I could move past merely contemplating whether it was worth it to piss off a shit load of ninjas, a rectangular seam appeared in the wall slightly below eye level. The sectioned off part of the wall slid back before sliding to the right, revealing a pair of suspicious brown eyes staring out. "I don't recognise you."

I smirked, "I'm new," I moved my scythe (and more importantly, the dead body attached) into view, "But I'm pretty sure he isn't."

He glanced at the dead Anbu before looking back at me, "Hmph, a newbie taking out an Anbu huh? Guess Kakuzu was wrong about each generation only getting weaker as time goes on." Huh, sounds about right; grumpy bastard would say something like that. "Alright kid, give me a sec' to open the door and I'll get'cher money once I verify the validity and identity of the body."

I raise an eyebrow, "Do people often try to screw you over?" I'm not truly surprised, but fostering a good relationship with those who pay me is probably a good idea.

He laughs, "You have no idea how many people have shown up with one of Orochimaru's shed skins and tried to claim the bounty on his head."

I snickered as the wall followed the eye slot's example, revealing what appeared to be a small morgue. "I can imagine that would get old fast." I joked as I stepped into the room. The short, balding man that seemed to run this place gestured at one of the medical slabs.

With a flick of my wrist the corpse flew off my scythe to land on the table with a dull thud. The station master gave me a queer look before shaking his head. I thought I heard a mutter of "Damn over eager beginners; always trying to show off…" but I'm sure it was just the wind. Indoors. Yeah.

The man pulled on some surgical gloves and set about examining the body, humming tunelessly as he worked. A few moments of seemingly purposeless examinations of random body parts passed before he actually started looking closely at the face. "Word to the wise kid; try not to damage the face too much. Makes these examinations much harder and some places will detract from yer pay if ya make 'em use other verification methods." He sent me an aside glance before returning to his work, "Yer knew to this business so I'll let cha off with a warning this time."

I repressed the urge to sigh; I just knew crushing his head would come back to bite me. I'm just lucky the poor sucker was sympathetic or I would be out some cash. I started surreptitiously glancing about under the (not entirely inaccurate) guise of just examining the station as a newb bounty hunter; what I was really looking for was where he kept the cash. Why bother doing the actual work when I can just kill this weak, middle-aged man and steal it instead?

'Because his weakness is likely a facade and I would almost certainly get banned from the industry immediately once word gets out (which it would.)', I thought as the man who looked to have gone to seed was suddenly in my face when I took a bit too much interest in his desk.

"Exploring another man's space is not a good thing to be caught doing, boy. Try not to be so obvious with your planning." HIs expression gave nothing of his thoughts away, utterly blank like it was formed from coloured stone.

I hid my nervousness with an obfuscating smirk, "Planning?" I questioned lightly, "You think I'm dumb enough to shit where I eat?" I snorted, "If I robbed you not only would all those bounty hunters out there attack me, but when I killed them I wouldn't be able to collect there bounties because I'd be blacklisted from the business."

His expression melted slightly, becoming less unnatural before he raised his eyebrow, "When you kill them?" He grunted amusedly, "You're sure confident for a rookie… confidence kills, kid." He moved back to his examination, "A word of advice kid; never get too confident or someone you dismissed as not a threat will be the one turning in your head here."

My smirk grew slightly wider, 'It's hardly overconfidence if they really can't kill me.' I thought. Though that doesn't make the advice bad; always take every fight seriously.

My attention was drawn back to the station attendant as he cleared his throat and moved over to the desk I had been investigation earlier. "Alright kid," That was getting more than a touch annoying, this body is an adult damn it! And even if it wasn't, the one I left behind sure was. "This looks legit." He reached down and opened up a drawer I'm certain wasn't there when I was inspecting it and pulled out a briefcase and a scroll. He started to rapidly pull large stacks of money from the scroll and place them in the briefcase; so rapidly in fact that I'm certain he was trying to screw me over by not giving me the full bounty. "There ya go; two hundred and fifty three thousand five hundred and seventy nine ryo." Huh, how pedantically and oddly specific.

The moment he handed it to me I started counting each ryo but gave up after realising it was far too boring to hold my attention for more than a couple seconds and I really didn't care. I ignored the plebian chuckling over my checking and simply looked for for trackers and bombs, which did in fact result in me counting the money… or rather Jashin counting the money. Apparently she could see through my eyes and see the general area around me; kinda like a text based (she has to describe what she sees, rather than me being able to just see what she sees) Byakugan without the blindspot if ya think about it. Considering she has way better perception than me (being a god has its perks; quite a few of them actually) it was easy for her to count the bills as I flipped through them. On the upside; he didn't cheat me. On the downside; he did slip a tracking device in.

The fact that a world without cars has fucking mini-tracking devices and TVs and shit still baffles me.

I subtly (as I could anyway) palmed the tracker from my money. I nodded to the man as I walked out of the (slightly perversely) hidden bounty office, tossing the tracker into some sucker's soup as I walked out the door.

Well, that was a worthwhile trip; I'm leaving some two hundred thousand ryo richer and one rotting body lighter, a good trade! Come to think of it; any trade of rotting anything for cash is probably a good trade…

Whistling merrily as I walked out of the little village (fuck inns, I don't sleep so the damn parasites can't suck me dry!) and went searching for a nice, quiet place to train. After only five or six hours of solid, non-stop running (infinite stamina for the win!) I came across a little clearing in the middle of nowhere that seemed perfect for my purposes.

I nodded to myself, approaching a tree with a determined look on my face; might as well start with the most basic of techniques, the surface clinge. Hopefully my body's muscle memories would kick in and speed up these early stages but it's best to just give it a shot.

I placed a hand against a tree, deciding to cheat a little by using the easiest place to channel chakra rather than the hardest to start with. I focused for a moment, feeling my chakra move through my body like a horrific, semi-gaseous parasite infused throughout my body before pushing it towards my hand and into the tree before me. A second later I had wooden shrapnel embedded in my mangled hand and face.

I stared at the ruins of my hand with my single eye for a moment, too stunned to even think. Slowly, my gaze shifted to the tree; only to widen in even greater shock. Apparently I channeled way, way too much chakra into the technique because the tree looked like fucking bomb went off on the trunk, reducing a significant portion to so much mulch; in fact, a portion of the tree larger than my own body was simply gone

Huh, why did no one ever think to weaponize this? If you deliberately fail the surface cling right as you hit something it would be like a cut rate Explosion release or super… strength. A grin spread across my face as I started pulling the shrapnel from my body, starting with my left eye. The sucking sound my eye socket made as the six inch wood chip was pulled out was more than a touch disturbing, but with Jashin fucking with my nervous system to turn what pain wasn't suppressed to pleasure it only freaked my the fuck out rather than sending me to the ground in screaming agony.

I blinked my damaged eye several times, smiling as my vision was slowly restored. Looks like Tsunade's super strength wasn't all that special really; just a deliberate and refined failure of the surface cling. Admittedly, the way it's described implies it takes a lot more control than I possess to get it to Tsunade's level, but it's still a rather simple technique at its heart.

Of course, before I can even think of weaponizing failure I need to learn how to succeed. Attempting to stick my foot to a tree (like a goddamned pleb) resulted in the same thing; me with hamburger for a leg and a tree blown to smithereens. Turns out, Hidan has a fuck-load of chakra; he just never got famous for it 'cause he never used it for anything. Well, I'm not so foolish as to let a resource like this go to waste!

Of course, having an ungodly (or extremely holy, as Jashin insisted) amount of chakra only brought control into even greater importance. I soon came to the realisation of just why Hidan never used any techniques; they would all fucking explode from being massively overcharged! I had more chakra than goddamn Naruto (sans-bijuu) as an adult! I kept blowing up trees no matter how little chakra I tried to put into trying to stick to them. (Regrowing limbs gets real old real fast, I soon found.)

I grit my teeth in frustration, "There is no fucking way I'm letting too much chakra keep me from being awesome, damn it!" I kicked a nearby tree in rage, splintering the wood from my bodies unaugmented strength. Canon Hidan was capable of at least the fucking surface cling, why can't I! Hell, earlier I managed to use chakra to manipulate the cord of my scythe on pure instinct! How could this be so much harder?

Jashin was no help here; not being even remotely human she had no experience using chakra (apparently the energy gods used was different) and had even less experience training, she just always knew what she could do and how to do it (though, she did say that lately she's been curious about her capabilities).

Turns out, anger isn't exactly conducive to finesse and the slightly diminished explosions I was producing got significantly larger. Frowning, I sat down with a huff, "Fuckin' trees… I'mma level Konoha just to get revenge on the damn trees…" I petulantly grumbled. Laying back I stared up at the clouds with a sigh, "This is gonna take a while…"

And take a while it did; three weeks and over twenty acres of shredded trees later I finally managed to stick to one with only minor cracks radiating from the point of contact! Honestly I'm surprised the endless (almost rhythmic) explosions day and night didn't attract any curious ninjas; though they may have thought a high level battle was going on and didn't want to get caught in the middle of it. Like cowardly rats, these ninjas.

A massive smile spread across my face as I slowly placed one foot in front of the other and walked up the tree, only greatly weakening its structural stability rather than blowing it to pieces. I was inordinately proud of myself for managing the most basic ninja technique; but hell, you need to take pride in yourself or you'll go mad. "Hahahahahahahahaha!" Okay, the cackling may be taking it a tiny bit too far; maybe I already sailed past "mad" on a jet ski full of cocaine.

A creaking sound drew my gaze to my feet. My smile faded as I saw just how damaged the tree was from my continued presence. I jumped off, landing a few feet away as the large and numerous cracks across the tree groaned ominously. A few seconds passed in relative silence before the tree gave one last sad groan and collapsed to the ground in pieces.

I stared at the rubble for a long moment, even Jashin was silent in my thoughts. "Huh… guess I need even more practice than I thought." I mumbled, sheepishly scratching the back of my head. Jashin's voice tore me from my thoughts.

"Four shinobi are approaching; three in a semi-circle behind you and one coming straight in front. Judging by the blood they've spilt the one coming head on is a Jounin and the other three are somewhat seasoned Genin." I frowned, seems these ninjas are closer to vultures than rats; a much more respectable thing to be in my opinion (there is nothing as disgusting as a parasite; better a scavenger than a parasite).

"Thank you Jashin; I'll kill them in you name." It was an ease promise to make; I had no intention of letting any information get out at this stage. Just letting them go was never an option. I'm sure Jashin knew this (she can read my fucking mind after all), but she didn't seem bothered by my hazy dedication to mass murder.

I didn't bother turning to face the Genin; no strategy mere Genin could come up with would bother me, especially considering they don't know I'm a True Immortal. ...Well, at least I think so; not sure what would happen if they atomized me (nor am I willing to test it).

"You would be fine; as my champion I possess your soul, what happens to your body is irrelevant. As our relationship gets stronger and you sacrifice more souls to me, my grasp gets stronger on your soul and you literally grow closer to the center of my being. This comes with a number of benefits… but I do not think now is the best time to discuss such." Well… that's interesting; both somewhat comforting (True Immortality bitches!) and somewhat disturbing (my soul is swimming in evil…). Good to have that confirmed, but even if atomization could kill me, I highly doubt any Genin could achieve such a glorious feat of annihilation.

The Jonin walked out of a section of undamaged trees as cocky as could be; fucker was damn sure he could take me. This green-haired, blue-eyed bitch is gonna fucking choke on that smile.

I smirked, resting my scythe on my shoulder as he opened his mouth to spew some nonsense. I cut him off before he could flap his gums, "Wow, you must really not care about your Genin."

He blinked, taken off guard by my statement (and possibly noticing my subtle assertion of dominance by speaking first). "What?" he asked stupidly, a confused and startled expression on his face.

My smirk grew, "Your little students up in the trees. You must really not give a shit what happens to them to take them with you to fight me. Need some meat shields, eh?"

His smug expression returned, though it was noticeably false nd shaken. "I highly doubt someone like you could take a team of Genin, even if I did have any. Which I don't."

My smirk turned to a grin as I heard one of the aforementioned Genin shift in the tree behind me, disrupting some leafs in a very noticeable manner. I raised an eyebrow mockingly, "That so, huh? 'Spose ya wouldn't mind if I killed those brats then, would ya? Maybe have some fun with the girly?" I was never a very moral man, but even I could tell that having my soul submersed in the essence of a god of evil al-la Angra Manyu was having rather noticeable effects if I was (more than) contemplating raping a teenage girl. I mean, by this cultures standards she was an adult the moment she put on the headband (likely to compensate for this exact scenario, come to think of it), but she sure as fuck wasn't by mine. Meh, can't exactly be the champion of a god like Jashin if ya let little things like any remnant of morality still floating around in your head bother you; besides, it's not like it ever stopped anyone in my world even when it was way less culturally acceptable.

His face went cold, blue eyes hardening to resemble ice. I could see he was about to go into some impassioned speech about killing me 'cause I'm a rabid animal or a monster or whatever. This time I didn't even have to interrupt him myself; his Genin did it for me!

The dumbass who disturbed the leafs leapt out with a snarl, aiming his kunai to slam into the top of my head. He was coming from behind and to the left, as if he thought being on the opposite shoulder to my scythe would help him.

My arm moved back, sloping my scythe towards the ground before jerking sharply downwards; slamming all three blades into the brash youth's chest. His small size meant the massive blades nearly bisected him even just with a stab, the top blade impaled through his groin.

I carried through with the strike, driving both blades and boy into the earth before me. A massive grin stretched across my face as I made sure to lock my near lustful purple eyes with the shocked and horrified blue of the Jounin before I ripped the blade back, tearing out through the boy's skull and dragging what innards weren't sliced apart out of his body.

His intestines and a couple organs trailed behind my blade as I whirled around to block the sword swipe a more competent ninja aimed at my back. I nearly applauded the brave and ice cold Genin for seeing his teammate's death as an opportunity to kill me while my blade was busy. Nearly.

Instead I blocked his swipe with the haft of my scythe, pulling the blades back from where they loomed behind him. To my mild surprise he almost managed to dodge, only losing his sword arm instead of his head. Even with the mild respect (honestly, this Genin could have gone places if he hadn't met me) I held for the child I wasn't dumb enough to leave an enemy alive when they still had enough limbs to attack me. My left hand shot forward and grabbed his face, crushing his skull between my fingers in a single squeeze.

I laughed at the sounds of the remaining Genin puking from her position paralyzed with fear on her tree; idiot, what did she expect when she became a Shinobi? Death and worse lurk around every corner when you fly the colours; what her friends got is a mercy compared to what I'll do to her.

My psychotic grin added a bit of lust to its normal bloodlust as I felt Jashin's approval of my plans. My musings were interrupted by a sword skewering me through the back, penetrating my heart and exploding out my chest. Honestly, I'm surprised this didn't happen earlier; despite my immense strength, decent skill (mostly do to Hidan's muscle memories), and creativity, I had no real training and had mostly been running on luck to pull off the cool shit I did.

I turned my head to look at the Jounin's grim face, blood dripping out through my grin. I coughed out a spray of blood as he pulled his blade from my chest, stumbling forward a few steps before collapsing to the earth. I listened as Jashin described what my eyes couldn't see; the Jounin stepped forward to comfort the Genin girl who apparently fell from the tree while I was distracted by being stabbed.

As he wrapped comforting arms around her in a distinctly familial embrace I noticed the similarities between the two. Blue eyes, green hair, tanned skin; they looked too similar to not be related. Hmhmhmhmhm, I'm gonna make him suffer.

I rose silently like the specter of death behind him; a sickle like grin spread across my face as I drew back my scythe. I dashed forward and slammed my blades through the back of both his knees; drawing a pained scream from his lips. A cruel laugh leaked from my savage grin as I twisted my blade to draw more screams from him before pulling it to the side; severing one leg and leaving the other dangling by a few scraps of flesh.

My laughter spiked as I grabbed his forehead, pulling his head back as I hooked my scythe under his right arm. "Is she your daughter?" I asked, deceptively lightly before pulling my blade back, severing his arm. "Or perhaps your sister?" Another question, another arm.

I didn't bother waiting for him to answer (I rather doubt he would have even if I had; he seemed rather preoccupied with screaming) and instead wrapped a hand around his throat and lifted him into the air. I smirked into his face, "I suppose it doesn't really matter; you care for her, and thusly I can hurt you through her…" I didn't bother to tell him I was going to do this regardless; let him think he caused her suffering. I carried him a short distance to the very tree his likely daughter fell from. Slamming my scythe into the ground I unsheathed his blade from its sheath, making a show of examining it before ramming all three feet through his gut and into the tree behind him. I smiled at him, watching as he cringed before pulling out a kunai. "I can't have you closing those eyes, now can I?" With a near gentle smile I sliced off his eyelids; he won't be needing them soon anyway.

Wiping my kunai off on his chest and tucking it back into its pouch I turned towards the girl, smirking at her paralysed form. She was just so fucking pathetic; how did she ever expect to be a ninja if she freezes in the face of danger? Maybe she didn't; perhaps her father forced her down the same path he took? Well then, looks like he may be suffering more than I thought.

I paused in my approach, turning to look at the man behind me thoughtfully. 'Can I force my curse technique on others? Like, if I make someone else perform the ritual against their will, would it still work even if their not a Jashinist?' I didn't really have to, but I deliberately sent my thoughts to Jashin none the less.

A moment passed before she replied, "Normally no. But as you're my champion, I'll allow it."

A dark grin spread across my face as I reached out and scooped up some of the blood flowing from one of the man's arms. Seeing the girl starting to actually wake up from whatever catatonia she had fallen into I dashed over to her, grabbing her face and hooking my fingers on her jaw bone, using the leverage to force it open. I couldn't help but laugh as I poured her father's blood down her throat, using the same hand that forced open her mouth to massage her throat, forcing her to swallow. My laughter grew higher in pitch as I cut open her forehead, drawing enough blood to form the ritual circle.

Malice rolled off me like a toxic miasma as I watched her skin blacken and white, bone like markings spread across her. Turning my head, I smiled at her father… before slamming the back of my scythe into her jaw, sending her shattered teeth down her throat. Based on the gurgling scream her father gave the curse was in full effect; perfect.

I pulled my cock out with an evil smile (huh, Hidan really was blessed) and rammed it down her throat (turns out, blood, tears, and saliva make decent lube). She was tight in a way only the unwilling (or very experienced) can be (though her age may have something to do with that), her throat writhing and spasming around me. The warm, wet tightness combined with the spasming felt divine (especially since Jashin seemed to fully agree); though what really pushed me over the edge was the look of hopeless misery and despair in her eyes.

She choked even more as I came down her throat, making sure to pull out enough to splatter some on her face and bleeding gums. She coughed and sputtered, vomiting a pinkish mix of fluids onto the ground and all over herself. Her wide tear filled eyes stayed firmly locked on the ground: perhaps she thought this was the end? Honestly, she should hope I keep going; the longer she entertains me, the longer she lives… though she may not prefer that all things considered.

I reached forward, grasping the hem of her dress. With my great strength tearing the piece of clothing was beyond simple. She screamed more, actually trying to crawl away for the first time. I may have dislocated her hips when I roughly spread her legs apart, but I can't say I really care either way.

I ripped her pink polka dot panties (really? Seriously, how the hell did she think she could be a kunoichi like this) off, lining myself up with her pink slit before pausing. I turned to look back at her father, grinning at him as I reversed my position, insuring his lidless eyes (that seemed to have gone hazy from blood loss) could see as I entered her. I wonder if he'll be able to feel it as if he had a vagina to violate or if it'll simply feel like a strange pain in his groin?

My turgid cock speared the girls virgin flower like a harpoon stabbing a mouse, eliciting a scream of agony and violation from her and a hopeless moan from her father. Her pussy was even tighter than her throat and as a plus, I didn't get shards of teeth embedded in my dick! A few minutes of thrusting later and I once more emptied my balls insider her; though, judging by the way she begged and pleaded she considered this much worse. I'm not quite sure why; it's not like she's gonna live long enough for pregnancy to be an issue.

Cum and blood (confirming her former virginity… or maybe my dick was just to huge for her? Possibly the shards of teeth getting dislodged inside her?) leaked from her violated pussy as I shifted her in my lap; positioning myself to line up with her ass. Hopefully blood and cum will make good enough lube that I won't get friction burns; that would kind of suck, though not much worse than the shards of teeth did.

I spared her father a glance, frowning at what I saw; seems he either had or was very nearly bled out (though I'm fairly certain he's at least still alive considering the girl's skin hasn't turned back). Well then, guess I'll have to hurry up if I want him to feel this last part; sepsis and exsanguination wait for no man!

Even with a body almost as broken as her soul, the girls instincts still had her clenching to prevent my intrusion. It did her little good (probably just made it worse honestly); she had nowhere near enough strength to stop me. I groaned somewhat as I entered her last virgin hole; her ass was by far her tightest hole, almost uncomfortably so.

While lacking the natural lubrication of both her mouth and cunt, the shear tightness of her ass more than made up for it. My cock was so sensitive from cuming twice in quick seccesion (thank Jashin for taking away my refractory period) it didn't take long to reach orgasm once again.

I stood up, letting her fall to the ground as she slipped off my cock. Leaning down, I grabbed her hair and used it to pull her into a kneeling position; she didn't even have it in her to whimper any more. I started humming as I tugged on my cord to pull my scythe to my hand from where it was stabbed into the ground next to the Jounin's tree.

I brought the blades to her violated crotch, sticking the top most blade in. That seemed to get her attention as she somehow found the energy to scream again. She stopped when I pulled sharply upwards, divesting her of her innards. Her internal organs spilled onto the ground as I pulled my scythe from her chest and throat. I watched almost boredly as the same wound was replicated on her father; the sadistic rush is kinda lost when they're not conscious to feel the pain.

In the end they meant nothing to me; just toys to sate my lust and malice on. I didn't care that they were important to someone; so long as that someone isn't me they may as well be living dolls for all I care. Perhaps this whole bout of savage cruelty was a result of Jashin lowering my inhibitions, perhaps it was just the thought that no one I cared about would be hurt by my actions, perhaps it was the freedom and sense of detachment one gets when torn from their home world; regardless the result was the same. Funny just how much evil one is willing to commit to strangers, eh?

I walked forward, pulling my bingo book from my pocket and flicking through it to see if the man had a bounty. Using my scythe to push his head back to get a better look at him, turning his head this way and that and comparing his image to a few different pictures (it's surprising just how many green haired, blue eyes Jounin there are) before smirking in triumph. "Heh, lucky me; another bounty just drops into my lap."

I blinked as he fell to the earth at my feet, the massive wound covering his entire abdomen enabling his body to twist enough for the blade to cut through him rather than hold him in place. Shrugging I reached down, grabbing him by his hair like I had his daughter and tossing him into the air; skewering him on my blade just like my last bounty.

Whistling a merry tune I collected my bags from where I set them before beginning training and set off towards the only bounty station I knew. I didn't even glance back at the Genin's corpses; why should I care for broken toys?

This time my entrance caused a bit of a stir; apparently a corpse impaled on a scythe with a slit throat is less disturbing than a man who was obviously torture to death. Hmph, fucking double standards! Even so, no one bothered me as I walked to the restroom.

The station keeper merely raised an eyebrow at the state the body was in, "Wow, you're one twisted son of bitch, aren't ya?" Shaking his head, he examined the body, taking far less time than previously (possibly due to the corpse possessing fewer limbs, possibly because I was becoming a known factor) before handing over the money. A quick check told me there was no tracking device this time.

I smiled as I walked out; the weight of the bags I had tied around my waste reminding me it was about time I use some of my newly acquired funds to purchase some supplies. While I could probably just steal it, I would be easier to just buy it legit if I can afford it rather than go through the hassle of stealing it.

The police chief grimaced, puffing on his cigar as he stepped from his car into the rain. His secretary helpfully held a umbrella over his head to shield him from the downpour; he offered the eager young hopeful a nod in acknowledgement. 'Kids gonna get a real shock when he sees just how awful the world really is.' He grimaced at the line of officers arrayed around the perimeter of the hospital. 'Just, hopefully not today.'

He walked to the officer in charge, "What's the situation?" He barked without preamble.

The man, a decorated veteran officer was grim faced as he turned to his superior, "Bad, sir. We received a call not long ago that some psycho was attacking the hospital."

The chief raised an eyebrow, "Why have you not sent men in to handle this guy then?" He wasn't surprised to see his subordinates mien grow even more grim.

"We did. We lost contact half an hour ago. Their last reports were… unsettling. And confusing." The officer sighed, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and grimacing at its soaked state.

The chief's face hardened, "Confusing how?" He didn't want to hear why it was disturbing, he already had a pretty good idea.

The officer's dark eyes were haunted, "They said they shot him twenty seven times. That was before he strangled one with another's intestines." He pointed at a window on the third floor, "If you look closely you can probably still see him hanging there."

That was… shocking to say the least. "Do you think drugs are involved?" Back in his days as a beat cop he once encountered a drugged up loon who seemed to shrug off damage right up until he took a round to the eye. Bastard managed to stab his partner in the throat before he took him down.

The officer gave him an incredulous look, "I don't know what drugs you've seen, but I've never heard of anything that can let a man shrug of six rounds to the temple at point blank range like it was nothing."

Now the chief's eyes widened. He was about to respond when the hospital's front door was kicked open. A man dressed in a tattered and blood-stained patient's gown stood in the doorway, laughing psychotically and shouting in what the chief vaguely recognized as Japanese; though it was no dialect he had ever heard. The madman brandished a long amputation knife in one hand from which he licked blood… the other held a severed head, its ragged esophagus and bits of spine hanging from the shredded stump of its neck.

The man barely had time to toss the head at the line of police and SWAT before the space he occupied was filled with copious amounts of lead. The startled and enraged lawmen fired every last round they had into the deranged killer; emptying pistols, shotguns, and assault rifles into him.

A long moment of silence passed as the last gun clicked empty… then the laughing started anew.

Chapter 3

If my encounter with that Genin team taught me anything, it's that I rely too much on surprising people with my immortality. If that Jounin had known I was immortal he very well might have cut me to pieces rather than just stab me; I may not be able to die but that doesn't mean I can't be incapacitate or captured. I've been lucky so far that no one is aware I can't just be killed, but relying on luck is how you wind up burned to ashes and shot into space.

However, right now gathering supplies took priority over actively training. First things first; a change of wardrobe is in order! It was surprisingly easy to find a store tailored to ninjas considering this isn't a ninja village; though I suppose some enterprising asshole saw the constant influx of bounty hunters and decided to take advantage. I'm more surprised said bounty hunters didn't kill him for potentially revealing one of their bases of operation to the world; most bounty hunters are missing-nin and they tend not to be so open about their movements.

Even more surprising than their being a ninja supply store was their being several; each catering to different needs ninjas (and more specifically: bounty hunters) have. Finding one that sold clothing was fairly easy, and it was conveniently located right next to one that sold weapons! Now all I need is a place that sells storage and explosive seals (much as I would like to just make them myself, I have no Jashin damned idea how).

My customary smirk afixed to my face, I pushed open the door to the clothing store, grimacing slightly at the small bell that chimed as I did. The storekeeper was an elderly man, dull brown eyes under gray hair on a wrinkled face. Even as worn down by time as he was he bore himself with an air of good humour, a small smile beneath glittering eyes. I hated him immediately.

I returned his smile with one of my own, "Do you, perchance, have combat boots?" Always pays to be polite (unless it's time to drop facades and false faces). Besides, I'm more likely to get out of here (and away from that monstrous display of faux-happiness) quickly if I'm (relatively) polite rather than combative. Even though my pocketed hands are twitching to pull a kunai and slit him up; make him show how he really feels.

That disgusting twinkle hiding a wellspring of misery seemed to grow brighter at my words, "Combat boots you say? Why, I haven't had someone ask for those in…" He trailed off, staring at a spot to the left of me with dimmed eyes; that damnable twinkle momentarily faded, loss and sorrow shining through.

He shook his head, smiling to cover his slip, "Sorry, son; sometimes this old brain o' mine slips into old memories." He shook his head ruefully, "Combat boots, was it? Bit of an odd choice there, boyo. Most ninjas don't like 'em, say they get in the way of channeling chakra or some such."

I could feel my polite smile twitching minutely as the man rambled; my desire to shove his severed cock down his throat had lessened with that brief glimpse of the despair behind his smile but if he starts fucking lecturing me I'mma strangle him with his own fucking guts. "I'm aware," I really wasn't, but I can't say I particularly care. "Even so, I know what I want." One smart remark and I'm burning this place down.

He simply gave a shrug and a genial smile, "To each their own, I suppose." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing vaguely towards a section of what appeared to be footwear. "There's a few in the corner back there; some civilians like to wear 'em to look hard…" Something in his expression changed, a hardness that hadn't been there before. "No, you're the real deal ain't cha?" His eyes were evaluating and cold, looking me over and seeing a threat rather than a customer. "Not like those flashy morons who tromp around and spout jutsu like they're goin' outta style; you know what it's like to feel a man's life bleed out all over your hands, to watch the light leave a little girl's eyes because she thought she had what it takes to be a ninja." With a start I realized this man may well have been a retired ninja, possibly even from the Warring Clans Era considering his age (and my lack of knowledge of where I am in the timeline; knowing Kakuzu is active tells me little more than the fact that ninja villages exist, he was ninety Jashin damned years olds in Shippuden).

His suddenly dim eyes looked me over for a moment, seeing something I can't. "Why exactly, do you want combat boots?" He finally questioned after a long moment of silence.

I pointedly didn't smirk, "They're better for kicking with and protect you from the elements more than sandals." Simple and true. Somehow I felt honesty was warranted here.

He smirked darkly, eyes flickering to the dark stains on my shoes and pant legs (I'm just glad Hidan doesn't wear a shirt or I'd have to replace it after that asshole stabbed me). "And because they're better for crushing skulls, hm?"

I shrug, "Isn't that implied? I did say they were better for kicking." A smirk to match the man I was coming to realize I rather liked spread across my face; it seems more than misery hid behind that vapid smile.

He laughed, "Aye, boyo; I suppose so." He reached beneath the counter and tossed something at me.

Catching it on instinct I saw it was a key, "The good stuff is in the way back; pick out whatever you want and we'll negotiate a price."

I smiled, giving him a nod as I subtly checked the key for poisons and explosive seals (not that either would really matter, though getting blown up would be annoying). Based on the approving look on the shopkeeper's face I wasn't as subtle as I could have hoped.

Finding nothing, I made my way to the back of the store, glancing at the wares on display as I passed; they all look pretty decent to me. While he hadn't exactly indicated where this "back" he spoke of was located, I figured a door partially concealed behind a rack of cloaks was a safe bet.

Fitting the key into the lock I found my guess to have been correct. The door opened soundlessly into a pitch black room that had my danger senses blaring like crazy. Even with the GTFO sirens screaming I decided to step into the room, groping the side wall for a light switch. Eventually my questing hand found what I was seeking and the room lit up.

...For about two seconds before a burlap sack was pulled over my head and a syringe stabbed into my neck. Those two seconds were long enough for me to catch a glimpse of bloodstained cages and a pristine operating table.

I laughed, my left arm thrusting up to grasp my assailants elbow; continuing on to snap it in two. I roughly twisted the broken appendage, forcing the idiot to the ground with one hand while the other reached up to pull the sack from my face.

With the obstruction removed I could see who had been fool enough to try to drug me; a child, maybe seven or eight years old stared up at me from the ground with terrified pink eyes framed by a messy mop of blue hair. I shifted my grasp to close my hand around the boy's throat; silencing the scream I could see building on his lips. He struggled and choked; unable to draw breath past my powerful grip.

Idly pulling the (mostly) empty syringe from my throat I picked the boy-child up, closing the door behind me (and wondering why the old man hadn't come running when the kid screamed). A dark smile spread across my face as I approached the surgical table. I slammed the kid onto the table and calmly set about strangling him; loosening my grasp just long enough to let him catch a breath in increasingly long intervals. I watched his expression with interest as he desperately clawed at my arm and hand; trying futilely to pry open my grasp with steadily weakening fingers. I watched and felt as the tears flowing from his eyes poured over my hand; honestly, what kind of idiot attacks someone without being prepared to be attacked in return? Never start a fight you're not prepared to finish.

Before he could pass out I placed the syringe he stabbed me with over his left eye, allowing him to breath for a moment so he can properly process what's about to happen. I wait until I see his eyes widen before plunging the syringe into his orbital, pushing down until the needle was fully immersed in his eye.

My face remained oddly blank as I depressed the plunger, blowing air and the remains of whatever drug the kid had intended to sedate me with into his eyeball before pulling it back and sucking out blood and the internals of his eye into the tube. I drove the needle in further and twisted it from side to side; insuring the eye was thoroughly ruined (and increasing the pain inflicted). The boy's single functioning eye was spinning rapidly in its socket; blood pouring from the mutilated one as I pulled the syringe out.

I smirk faintly as I push the needle into his right lung, injecting the contents straight into the empty organ. I chuckle quietly as he begins spasming harder at the liquid intrusion where only air should go. I repeat the process six times before growing bored and jamming the needle all the way into his chest; shattering it (and some bones) with a single sharp punch to the chest.

Even with my tight grasp around his throat, blood was burrbling out between his lips; joining his tears in dirtying my hand. I glanced away from the kid, looking over the array of surgical tools available to me, smiling when I spotted my prize; a gleaming, serrated bone saw. My long fingers wrapped around the handle, holding the blade upside down.

Grinning, I held the blade before the futility gasping boy's single eye; once more waiting for him to see it and comprehend before acting. I slowly slid the blade between his legs, making sure he could feel it crawling towards him by dragging it along his legs. Eventually the serrated edge met his crotch, pressing into his tiny testicals through the (noticeably filthy and ragged) blue shorts he wore. I looked him straight in his single eye and gave him the gentlest smile I could fake… before slowly sawing upwards.

He writhed and spasmed, the jerking movements only making the saw bite all the deeper as his body desperately tried to move away from it. Blood poured like a river from the open wound and I knew I didn't have much time before he bled out. I sped up my sawing when I hit the base of his spine; while the destruction of such an important part of him meant that he lost feeling below each destroyed segment, it also caused unbelievable pain throughout his entire body. If only I knew how to form lightning chakra, then I could really fuck with his system.

I was about halfway up his torso when the door behind me opened, though by that point the boy was long dead (weather from blood loss or shock I don't know or particularly care). I turned my neck in a deliberately awkward manner to see the same old man who sent me back here watching me with the same cold eyes he had when he sent me back here. His gaze flickers to what little of the boy is visible past me (mostly just blood, but I suppose that says enough) before returning back to my face. "Hmph, good help is so hard to find. Better you kill the brat than make me waste my time doing it myself."

I raised an eyebrow, "I kinda expected you to be more angry."

He laughed, a cold, dark, and dusty sound like wind blowing through a tomb. "Angry? Why should I cry over such a useless subordinate like him?"

I turned to fully face him, leaving the bone saw in the boy's guts. Crossing my arms and leaning against the surgical table I look the man over more closely. I have no idea what he had planned for me but I could only presume it was nothing good; the fact he didn't seem bothered by his plan being interrupted only unsettled me more.

I kept the scowl from my face with some effort as he looked me up and down. "Have you ever considered mercenary work, boyo?"

I blinked at the non-sequitur, before letting a grin spread across my face. "I have. Why do you ask?" I have a pretty good guess where this is going, but I want to hear it from his own mouth.

He smirked, "Well, I suddenly find myself in need of someone to procure… goods for me." He waved extravagantly towards the foul smelling cages lining the walls, "You see, I am no mere slaver; I sell… specialized goods; slaves that have been modified to suit the buyer's tastes. I use a variety of seals and medical procedures to take your average schlock and turn them into something wonderful." There was a less than sane gleam in his eyes as he discussed his work but I didn't mind; man has pride in what he does, who am I to say he shouldn't? It honestly sounds rather impressive and the thought of modifying people to suit preferences set some ideas rolling around my head.

I wave my right arm to forestall the rant I could see coming, "Alright, I'm guessing you want me to nabb some plebs of the streets so you can work your magic on 'em, eh?" I raise my hand, three fingers extended, "Three conditions. Number one: If who ever I snatch has a bounty, you need to offer a higher price than their bounty or I'll just turn them in."

He flicked his wrist, as if brushing aside the idea, "If I require someone who has a bounty on their head you will be compensated appropriately of course; though I doubt I ever will require such specific materials."

I nodded, lowering one finger. "Number two: How much am I being paid?"

He smirked, "Fifteen thousand for men, twenty for women, twenty five for male children, thirty for female children, and fifty for people with bloodlines or rare traits."

"Number three: you said you use seals and medical procedures, right? Teach me what you know and I'll let you take the cost of the lessons out of my bill. If you're concerned that I may go into business in competition with you; you needn't worry, I want the knowledge for personal reasons." Honestly, I don't much need the money but knowledge has a power all on its own.

Had I been a lesser (better) man, the look he gave me would have filled me with disgust, "Oh, looking to get yourself some custom lovers, eh?" Suddenly the perverted gleam left his eyes, "I'm no true expert with seals; I barely count as a journeyman and I've been studying for forty years." He broke off in muttered expletives apparently aimed towards "that damn lucky brat Jiraiya".

I raised an eyebrow, he may not know it (in fact, I highly doubt he does) but that bit of cursing out Jiraiya told me more about the setting than anything else (Minato and Itachi's absence from the Bingo Book only told me they hadn't committed their respective massacres yet; which only tells me where I'm not, not where I am); I now know that Jiraiya is a well known name and currently a seal master of some renown. Knowing that Jiraiya is famous, Itachi hasn't massacred his clan, and Minato hasn't earned his moniker gives me a rough estimate of where I am in the timeline; somewhere between the end of the Second Shinobi World War and the Third. Of course, there's always the possibility that my Bingo Book is simply out of date; but I doubt it considering how much its original owner cared about his bounty.

"Journeyman is still more than I know. Besides, you know some seals someone like Jiraiya most certainly knows nothing about." Might as well inflate his ego, he'll be more likely to agree with his head in the clouds.

Judging by the massive smirk on his face, comparing him positively to Jiraiya worked like a charm. "You're right! I'm better than that brat, and that whore Tsunade would never even think of using some of the medical jutsu I've invented!" I decided not to mention that she likely could, but simply wouldn't because she has one of those pesky moral codes.

I nod agreeable, "And every master needs an apprentice to carry on their works, their legacy. If no one knows of your techniques, no one will ever be able to appreciate your genius." I may be laying it on a but thick, but I really do want to learn what he knows; not just for the sexual avenues they open up. The techniques used by a slaver like him could (probably) easily be modified for combat and subterfuge… and I could use them to get a bitchin' harem.

No way am I gonna be one o' them misery guts immortals who spend their time whining about how awful it is to live forever! Seriously, if you can't see the positives of eternal life you are one boring motherfucker.

The "doctor" laughed, "Haha… you think I don't see what you're doing?" He glared at me, a maniacal gleam in his dark eyes visible behind the cold edge as his face went blank… before an even bigger grin spread across it. "Doesn't make you wrong though. Yes, yes, I think I will teach you what I know…" He trailed off, "I am getting on in years." I don't think I was meant to hear that last part. His drifting gaze locks back on my amused eyes, "Alright, bring me three subjects and we'll start your first lesson."

I smirk, pushing off the table and walking towards the door. "Alright then; any preferences on who I snatch?"

He shakes his head, making sure to stay outside the perceived range of my scythe as I pass. "I don't particularly care. Though I do have one caveat; do not take anyone from this village." I Turn to look at him from the door, raising an eyebrow to emphasise the unasked question. "He chuckles quietly, "Whilst I have no particular care for them, plebeian fools that they are; it wouldn't be good to attract attention to our business. Even some so called ninja seem to get hung up over petty things like "basic human dignity" and "rights"; utter nonsense, of course. As if the very villages they serve haven't violated those imagined rules daily since their inception." He shakes his head in disgust, pulling a scroll from the inside pocket of his brown cardigan and tossing it to me. I didn't bother telling him that it was actually more suspicious for no one to be taken from an area than for it to be just as preyed upon; why should I care if his poor planning ends up killing him? So long as I get what I want before he bites it I'm fine. "On that note; that is a transport scroll of my own design. They're not exactly good for the mental health of the transported; but that's not really a concern, now is it?"

I catch the scroll easily, examining it for a moment before slipping it into my pocket with a nod. I opened the door (which I now saw was actually metal painted to look like wood on the outside). I paused at the door, leaning back in to see the doctor setting about cleaning up the surgical table I so rudely made a mess of, "Hey can I still grab some clothes, or…"

He sighed, waving a hand vaguely in my direction as he sprayed a suspicious liquid over the table (having already thrown the body into one of the cages), "Yes yes, take whatever you want. As your employer and sensei I can't have you tromping about in rags; it would ruin my image if you were to represent me looking like some common street rat." I smirked and quietly closed the door behind me, grinning at the racks of clothing before me; time to get some better gear.

I left the shop decked out in brand spanking new clothes; dark (almost black) purple pants, an equally dark red hoodie with a shitload of pockets worn unzipped to reveal a black t-shirt (that I drew a symbol of Jashin on with blood (given that literally no one knew about Jashinism to the point that Konoha thought Hidan may have entirely fabricated the religion, I figured it was safe enough to have a symbol of my allegiance on display (Jashin seemed very pleased with my display of loyalty, purring discordantly in my head)), and, perhaps most importantly, a pair of sturdy black combat boots.

Smirking, I wandered out of the front for organized slavery; twirling my scythe and placing it on my back as I headed out in search of unfortunates to sell into a life of unending misery and despair (taking a quick and uneventful stop at the store next door to buy some weapons and storage seals). I shadowed my eyes with a hand as I looked in random directions; trying to decide which way to go. I have absolutely no idea where I am (even if I did know the village's name, I don't exactly have a map to make use of the reference) and thusly couldn't figure out what was nearby.

Shrugging my shoulders I decided to just follow the path outside the main entrance to the village; with any luck it would lead me to another village. I have no idea what the maximum occupancy of the scroll the doctor (who's name I really should have asked for) gave me, but I intend to fill the fucker up; always better to overperform than underperform, after all… well usually anyway.

Luckily for me the village was only a three day walk (without breaks) from another little hamlet in the middle of fucking nowhere. Now, considering my express purpose in coming here was to enslave the populous, I decided it would be best to scope the place out before rushing in. A few days hiding in a tree told me that this wasn't a ninja village (though Jashin already told me that before I even arrived; interestingly, the town did contain a serial killer, but no true ninjas) and more importantly, where people went at different times. By figuring out people's general schedule I could find the best time to strike to maximize captures while minimising risk and casualties (dead bodies are of little use to a slaver).

One week after my arrival I attacked at three in the morning; using the cover of night to veil my approach and trusting in my observations that most would be asleep. The first building I approached was a little home on the edge of town just big enough for a family of three (perhaps four if you stretch it) to live comfortably. A quick check told me the door was locked but fortunately (for me, not so much for them) they didn't lock their windows.

Crawling through a window I found myself in what was clearly a child's bedroom; this fact was exemplified by the sleeping child. I smirked, pulling the human transport scroll out of one of the numerous pockets in my hoodie and silently moving to stand over the peacefully sleeping little girl. While I could have some fun with her and her mother, logic tells me she'll be worth more unspoiled so I simply place the scroll seal first on her chest and pulse my chakra into it; smirking as the child vanishes in a poof of smoke.

I slipped from her room as quiet as my muscle memory would allow (surprisingly decent, really; though relying on skills I really don't have is still annoying) and searched the place; making sure to swipe any valuables I could find (thank Jashin for storage seals!) on my way to the parents room. Unfortunately my instinctive stealth wasn't as good as one could hope and the father, a grizzled looking man with an eyepatch over his left eye, confronted me as I left the kitchen (not much to steal considering my lack of nutritional needs, but fine cookware could go for something and if worst comes to worse I can always use a kitchen knife as a weapon). By "confronted" I mean "attempted to stab me in the throat from behind with a tanto". Of course, with Jashin's warning his attempt failed miserably.

I whirled as soon as the man attacked, grabbing his wrist with one hand and his throat with the other (having placed my scrolls in my pockets upon hearing Jashin's warning that someone was approaching with intent to harm). He stared at me with hatred in his gaze, his dark eyes flicking to the symbol emblazoned proudly on my shirt before returning to my own amused eyes. Oddly, it seemed the man recognised the symbol if the way his hatred doubled upon spotting it was anything to go by.

I smirked at him, squeezing his wrist until he dropped the blade, "Oh, recognise that symbol do ya? What, cha have a run in with a Jashinist in the past?" While I directed my mocking words to him I sent a question to Jashin herself, "He's not a Jashinist is he? I wouldn't want to sell one of your cultists into slavery; not very champion like of me."

"He is no follower of mine, nor of any who oppose me. His recognition of my symbol is odd; most of my worshippers do not leave survivors." I frowned internally, making sure my smirk remained on the outside. She's right, Jashinists are so secretive that even the vast resources of one of the five great nations could find nothing about them; some bumblefuck farmer in the middle of assfuck nowhere recognising the symbol on sight was more than a touch odd.

Wait, opposition? Guess it makes sense for a god like Jashin to have rivals. "Not rivals, they have nowhere near the strength to oppose me directly, they merely attempt to harry my disciples and hinder my efforts. Usually to no avail." Huh, some do-gooder dickbags might be coming my way because of my connection to Jashin; good to know I guess. Still, the farmer's recognition of my symbol is first and foremost of my problems right now.

Well, I have one way of getting answers; loosening my grip I let him draw enough breath to speak. He sputters, spitting a glob of saliva into my face, barely missing my eye; said eye narrows, the only warning he gets before I slam my fist into his gut. I nearly laughed at his choked expression of shock and pain as my fist drove what little air I had allowed from his lungs; only the crushing grip on his throat kept him from vomiting, though his body sure did try. I smirked, "How about we try that again, hmm?" I wiped my face of on his shirt sleeve, regaining my grip on the hand I had released to punish his impunity. "I want to know how you recognise my symbol; your going to tell me or I'll cut off your cock and choke your wife to death with it while I rape her in front of you, okay?" I smiled pleasantly at the man, looking as if I hadn't just issued a fairly heinous threat; though it hardly mattered considering his probable fate once I handed him over to the doctor.

He sputtered and choked, desperately drawing air through a more than slightly constricted throat. After sputtering for several minutes (during which I got more and more agitated; I'm on a schedule, Jashin Damn it!) he finally started talking, "You… fucking scum... proudly wearing the symbol of that monster!"

I blinked, of all the ways of describing a god of evil, monster seems a rather benign choice. I raised an eyebrow, "And what monster would that be, hmm?" I wanted confirmation; it was fully possible he was associating my symbol with someone else (in which case I should probably kill them; can't have some pretender ruining my image) and actually knew nothing about Jashin or her cultists.

Hatred burned in his eye like little campfires; of course, that only made my smirk grow minutely. "The Endbringer, The Dawneater, The Unbeing, The Dar- Gurk!" He was cut off when a knife plunged into his back, courtesy of the wife I had forgotten about.

I scowled, snapping his neck and tossing aside his body (no way I'm letting this cunt steal my kill, damn it!), glaring at the woman the whole time. "I was using that. You know, it's rude to damage other people's property; honestly, are manners just dead?" My sarcastic response to her blatantly killing her own husband seemed to throw her off a bit.

She was short (even by this world's admittedly poor standards) with pale skin, blonde hair,and dull, mint green eyes. She wiped the surprise from her face and her eyes flickered to my symbol (what is with this fucking town and recognising the symbol of Jashin?) before her expression shifted to a glare. "You have no right to bare his mark."

Her tone was flat, but her eyes did nothing to hide her hate and disdain. I simply kept smirking, "Oh, who is this he you speak of? I must say, this is certainly not his mark; perhaps I should have patented it, hmm?" My flippant response seemed to anger her more. While most people would be less willing to aggravate a woman who just cold bloodedly killed her husband; I am not most people! There was nothing she could do to kill me if all she has is a knife (not that she'd be any more successful with any other tool).

She scowled, "My Lord will be displeased to hear an unbeliever bore his mark as if it were their own."

I raised an eyebrow; that didn't answer fucking anything! Well, I suppose it did tell me this mysterious he is likely the leader of some sort of cult… "Is she one of your followers?" I kept a close eye on her, expecting her to attack me at any moment.

A long moment passed before Jashin replied, seeming almost hesitant. "No… she isn't. She has not given herself to me. Whomever has stolen my sigil must pay for his insolence... sacrifice her to me; I will break her, and she will tell me where her leader lays."

I blinked. Holy shit! I'm closer to Mercer than I thought! I can learn what people know by killing them?! Admittedly, it's not quite the same; Jashin needs to torture them for information rather than me just ripping it from their minds but that only makes it marginally less useful.

A knife plunging into my neck reminds me of where I am. Apparently my momentary conversation with Jashin (and the stunned revelation afterward) was enough of a distraction for this bitch to try something. I gave her a blood stained smirk, reaching up to grab the offending appendage. She attempted to pull her hand free, likely thinking a dying man's grip wouldn't be all that strong; she couldn't have been more wrong. Shock spread over her face as she failed to pull her hand from my grasp; the fear in her eyes only increasing the amusement in mine.

I slowly pulled the knife from my neck (laughing as the wet sucking noise it produced drew a disgusted expression from the woman) before slamming it into the wall next to me. "Well, aren't you a rude one." My hand shot forth, long fingers wrapping around her pale (though not as pale as me) throat, "I think I'll have to punish you for that…" I trailed off sinisterly, enjoying the fear in here eyes; she knew exactly what I had in mind when I said that. Unfortunately, I was on a tight schedule here and probably didn't have time to properly rape her...

I thought about it for a moment; what's more important: enslaving the populous and getting back to the doctor promptly, or having fun… A dark grin spread across my face; meh, fuck punctuality, what's the point of living if you don't indulge yourself, hmm? Besides; I don't exactly have to worry about damaged goods anymore with her.

I tore her pajamas free, squeezing tighter around her throat to silence her screams (don't want to wake the neighbors before I can capture them). I didn't particularly care if I strangled her to death (I was going to kill her for Jashin regardless), but I would prefer if she didn't die before I finished fucking her; while she wouldn't cool quick enough to really ruin it (or rot quick enough to be distasteful), a lot of the fun is taken out if there's no mind to break.

I roughly groped her with the hand that wasn't choking her while I thrusted into her; grinning at the way every squeeze and thrust drew a wince. My grin faded slightly when her expression blanked; apparently she had some sort of training to resist torture; though, judging by the tears in her eyes it wasn't as effective as she might like.

A quick punch to the gut broke her self-induced fugue. While it was satisfying to see her sputter around my slightly loosened hand; I was getting kinda bored at this point (it's kinda dull to torture something that doesn't scream and cry properly). Unfortunately for her, the visceral satisfaction of beating her was far more interesting at this point than relatively harmless rape. So I kept doing it; punching randomly with one hand and strangling with the other, all while continuing to thrust into her pussy.

Every time my fist met her flesh her muscles involuntarily clenched, unintentionally squeezing my cock. The added stimuli of her random clenching alongside the sadistic thrill of physically beating someone to death brought me off rather quick; I timed my ejaculation to perfectly match a solid punch right to her solar plexus.

Apparently, feeling my semen enter her womb managed to break her composure better than strangulation, blunt force trauma, and rape combined as she finally broke down crying, begging her lord to save her. As I stood up (dragging her with me, and pulling my pants up with one hand) I once more wondered why someone would worry about pregnancy when death is so much more likely.

Discarding the thought I pulled the kitchen knife from the wall, holding it in a reverse grip as I held the woman aloft before me (making sure not to let any of the cum dripping from her cunt get on my brand new pants or shoes). I knew that as Jashin's champion all of my kills count as sacrifices, but I figured I may as well be a little more formal with this one.

I slowly pushed the blade into her chest just deep enough to scrape her lungs, staring her in her wide, terrified eyes as I carved the symbol on my chest into her's. Blood flowed down her chest and into her lungs, turning her breaths from choked to drowning as I pulled the blade free once more. Watching the blood bubble from her lips, I couldn't help but smile; god I'm fucked up… but I love it.

My smile grew, resembling my scythe in both curve and cruelty; if she's so worried about pregnancy, perhaps I should alleviate her fears? I plunged the eight inch blade into her womb, twisting the blade before pulling it out and stabbing her groin over and over again. Blood (and semen) gushed free, splattering up all over my arm (Jashin damn it; there goes my new coat!) as I viciously mutilated her.

I must have stabbed her fifty times before I got bored and just disemboweled her. I released my grip on her throat (she had too much blood in her lungs to scream anyway) and tossed my impromptu implement of sharp and pointy death aside, reaching down to pull out her guts. My bright eyes glittered as I wrapped her intestines around her throat (always wanted to do that!) and dragged her into the kitchen.

I hooked my foot on the stove handle, pulling it open with a grunt (being only mildly surprised that my barely struggling victim didn't try to capitalize on me literally standing on one leg). Smiling cheerfully, I shoved the bitch inside; slamming the door shut and cranking the heat all the way up.

I stepped back, smirking sadistically. If she's lucky she'll bleed out or drown before the oven heats up; I hope she's not particularly lucky (running into me kinda tells me she's not). My smirk twisted down as she pushed the door open, feebly attempting to crawl free as her flesh began to bubble and burn.

Scowling, I kicked her in the face, slamming her back into oven. Two more swift kicks had the cover back in place and bent to be difficult to open (especially with melting hands). My smirk returned as I heard her futility banging on the door; my natural inclination was to start humming a fitting tune of merry malevolence, but I figured making excess noise was not a good idea when trying to kidnap an entire village (getting all of them would be significantly more difficult when they start running and screaming (mostly the running part)).

Continue towards the End of Chapter 3 on Fanfiction.net, WN has a 20K word count limit per chapter~!