441 My SI Stash #41 - Let's Ride the Steel Horse again! by Nightmare723764 (Worm)
-The accidental jailbait harem king is unironically a horse/
Synopsis: ???
Rated: M
Words: 18K
Posted on: https://forum.questionablequesting.com/threads/lets-ride-the-steel-horse-again-a-rewrite-of-on-a-steel-horse-i-ride.13325/ (Nightmare723764)
PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)
-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics/originals mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)
Chapter 1-3 (exceptional)
<<<???>>>
Status
Endoskeleton superstructure: 100%
Hyperspace core: 100%
Evolutionary system: 5% repairs needed (Top Priority)
Memory data core: Corrupted
Persona: Corrupted
Attempting to restore Persona and Memory
…
…
…
Restoration complete
Memory data core: Restored
Persona: Back-Up initiated
Scanning for Objectives and Mission parameters
No Objectives found
No Mission found
Waking up with the dulcet monotone of a computer screaming in your head is something I've always wanted and will forever treasure!
Not.
Nickering faintly in irritation I got up and focused inwardly to do a more in-depth system check, and I found myself irritated even more. I was painfully incomplete like I was rushed off the assembly line or something.
Thankfully I had all the schematics and technical data to complete and improve upon myself.
Though I did fork my personality to rant about being a goddamn horse!
My perception sped up as I wirelessly connected to the local internet and proceeded to process terabytes of data in seconds.
I was in Brockton bay, thankfully not the canon derpfest. Actually, the best I could describe the situation is Kuroinu only without rape monsters or Black Dogs… technically. Apparently, Nillbog's monsters were fond of rape regardless of the gender of their chosen mates.
Let's take stock of the situation. I was in Earth Bet that's bad (maybe?) but I'm clearly not in the Bet I know from fiction thankfully. Things in this world are still pretty grim, the S9 is still a thing along with all the other horrors that call this world home. The only major thing I've noticed so far is that Scion is for the most part inactive and is only occasionally seen.
Is Golden Morning still going to happen? Is the golden idiot still a ticking time bomb?
Status
Objective Update
Murder-Death-Kill Jack Slash
Murder-Death-Kill William Manton/Siberian
Murder-Death-Kill Burnscar
Murder-Death-Kill Crawler
Murder-Death-Kill Mannequin
Murder-Death-Kill Hatchetface
Murder-Death-Kill Shatterbird
Murder-Death-Kill Cherish
Capture/Deprogram Bonesaw/Reily (Shoulder Loli get)
Assess Scion/Zion
I can get behind those objectives, but 'Shoulder Loli get' seriously?
Bah, whatever I need to find a place to set up shop so I can complete myself. Theoretically, my best bet would be the PRT but I'm weary to put myself in the orbit of Cauldron. However, in my scans, I haven't seen any overt signs of Cauldron manipulation. So… it is a possible course of action.
But now the question is do I really want to subject myself to their restrictive guidelines and their obsession with PR?
Bah, first the first I need to find somewhere to hole up.
Shaking my head as my CPU scanned dozens of maps to find an ideal location I trotted out of the alley and into the Lord's Market.
Trotting down the way ignoring everyone looking at me curiously I did however stop to look into one shop.
Oh my~
Status
Biological-reactor systems operational
Phallus status: 15% and rising
Pseudo-Reproductive systems: Offline (Repair needed)
Breeding system: Offline (Calibration needed, Repair needed)
...Wat?
No, never mind. Just focus on finding somewhere to bunker down and see about correcting your lacking body and… that is Vista and… Kid Win? Why are two Wards approaching me??
"How'd a horse get here?" Kid Win wondered as his hoverboard came to a stop with Vista beside him.
"No idea." Vista responded as she approached me cautiously, "You lost big guy?" She asked with a faint giggle.
Big guy…? Oh yeah… that.
I didn't look at my half-mast erection and instead considered her costume. In the Worm serial as well as in fanfics Vista's costume is often described as 'cute' but… well I suppose it's still cute. But in this Bet, it's distinctly along the lines of lolita without the goth aspect.
"Yeah actually. You know anywhere a horse can get some peace and quiet?" I didn't laugh when the two gaped but it was a damn close thing, "What? Never seen a talking horse?"
"No, can't say we have." Vista said, recovering from her surprise rather quickly, "Okay it's protocol to ask this but do you have this symbol somewhere on your body?" She added pulling out a picture of the Cauldron symbol and showing it to me.
I just gave her a dry look before slowly looking at my flank where the said symbol was branded (though calling it a cutie mark wouldn't be wrong either) before looking back at the two now sheepish Wards.
"Err… so it's that a baseball bat or are you happy to see Vista?" Kid WIn joked.
I just blinked and Vista dope slapped him.
"If you start making bad jokes like Clockblocker I swear you will regret it!" The lolita Ward swore even as her cheeks flushed.
I shook my head and chuckled, "While I'm sure Vista is very attractive, especially outside of her costume, I actually looked in a window over there." I explained snickering as Vistas blush darkened.
Kid Win looked over and it was his turn to shift around awkwardly, "Yeah, that's Parian's shop. She's a clothes designer, who runs the most successful BDSM shop in the city. I think you saw someone testing out her selection…"
"I could take you to the PRT office." Vista said, "They'll help you find a place. Probably offer you a job too cause it's… pretty obvious you're a cape."
"Whatcha mean? I'm just a regular talking horse~" I deadpanned making Vista giggle, "Hmm, do either of you have a map? Just so I can avoid entering a gang's territory by accident."
It kind of irritated me just how none of the maps I have at my digital fingertips had defined notations of gang territory. But I suppose that only makes sense given the nature of gangland politics.
"Sure." Vista said, pulling a folded map from her utility belt, "Though it isn't exact. So you're here right now…"
I heard Kid Win reporting to whoever was on Console duty as I listened to Vista.
God bless my bullshit processing and multitasking abilities!
"Thanks Vista." I said nuzzling the smole small Ward, "Perhaps sometimes I'll give you a horse ride." Yes, I was fully aware of how that sounded and I really wish I could take it back but I can't.
Status
Processing… Temporal-spatial manipulator CBM Unpack data?
I declined the data because the thought of time manipulation terrified me, and the fact that I actually had the schematics to make it possible was slightly worrying.
"That sounds fun!" Vista said letting a little of her actual age show, "I suppose it'd have to be bareback cause I don't think I could find a saddle that would fit you big guy." She added reminding me that I'm in a hentai-esque setting.
Kid Win thankfully wasn't listening and was fiddling with his phone so he didn't catch the possible sexual innuendo Vista said.
"Err, yeah. Well until then!" I said "I'll see you around sometime!" I added before I took off in a sedate gallop.
"Okay… I woke up as some sort of barebones cyber horse. Found out I'm anatomically correct. And accidentally hit on a loli who returned said innuendo without so much as flinching. What a wild world I find myself in…"
Now let's see here… get to Brockton General and go three miles…
"What's a horse doing out here?"
I paused and turned to see… Panacea taking a smoke break. The cherry of her cigarette illuminating her face.
I watched her throw the cigarette to the ground and step on it before approaching slowly, probably so she didn't spook me. I didn't comment as I was feeling rather irritated that I hadn't anticipated running into Bet's Premier Healer that is so much more than a Healer.
She approached and petted my coat only to freeze, her pupils dilating and I wonder what Shaper is telling her about my biology? Or do I register as a 'Error 404 Biology not Found'?
And now that I could see her better, Panacea is a lot more attractive then I imagined. Not 'OMG I Got To Smash!' or anything more like… 'the girl next door' I suppose. Somewhat mousy and those freckles are adorable. It also didn't hurt that her smock was open showing off her figure, while not stacked she was definitely curvy.
Status
Objective Added
Get Panacea/Amy/Amelia in a leotard
Another objective I can get behind honestly.
"The hell!?" She muttered, jerking her hand away and massaging her forehead (data overload I suppose), "Who the hell engineer's a horse??"
"I don't know." I answered making her jump, "Personally I would've preferred a more humanoid shape."
Panacea looked at me owlishly but didn't say what I was expecting honestly, "What the fuck are you??"
I just snorted at that, "Complex" I said dryly, getting a glare from the Whitest of White Mages.
"No shit." She shot, "I can't see your bones or anything. But god it's like you were designed to evolve on a cellular level! You can heal insanely fast without worrying about cancerous growths or burning yourself alive from cellular activity! God… I got so many ideas now…"
Should I be scared? Aroused? Scaroused?
"So you wanna play doctor with the horsey?" I said, "How about this… you help me with some surgeries and you can play with my genetics all you want." God that sounded so dirty.
Panacea looked tempted, I could see desire and panic in equal measures in her eyes, and immediately I recalled Carol's bullshit mentality and the toxic environment Panacea is living in. The girl is in desperate need for some form of release regardless if said release comes from a deep dicking or making an abomination to nature!
"I… I can't." Panacea muttered.
"How about this… um what's your name?" I asked.
"Oh. Um Panacea when I'm on duty. Amy Dallon when I'm not." She answered.
"Okay. How about this Panpan-" She didn't know if she should be amused or not at my nickname, "-When I find a place to set up, how about I invite you over? You can help me install some bionics. And you can inspect my DNA all you want."
"Did my sister somehow set this up?" Amy asked with narrow eyes, "Figured that if boys didn't attract me she'd get animals!?"
"No! I didn't even know your name so how would I know your sister?" I asked, "And hey different strokes for different folks. Kink-shaming is a sin in my opinion."
And trust me in my mad download of data earlier I learned that sexuality in this world is very much lax and taboo makes this extra spicy. Though Beastiality is in a somewhat legally gray area and incest is perfectly fine as long as no children are conceived.
"... Fine. As long as my sister can come." Amy said, the unspoken 'as backup' didn't need to be said.
I just nodded in agreement, "Well it's nice to meet you. I'll meet you here when I get everything set up." I said before I trotted off.
Amy just watched as I trotted off and it might've been cheeky of me but I wagged my tail showing off my sizable balls. I have no idea how big they were but judging from a faint gasp I knew they were impressive.
I hope they were anyway.
Chapter 2
<<<Panacea/Amy>>>
Laying in her (drop-dead beautiful) sister's arms as she flew Amy's thoughts weren't for once focused on how right she felt being in her sisters' arms or how disgusting she felt for feeling such bliss, no instead she was thinking about the horse cape with the utterly impossible biology! The only comparison she even had was Crawler's biology.
(It's a fairly boring story actually. Crawler lost a limb in a clash between the masochist and some random heroes (or was it villains?). It was before his blood became highly acidic and they brought the limb for Panacea to see if she could learn anything from it. She didn't, all she got was a week of sleepless nights because the biology got her powers motor going.)
The only tenuous link between the horse and Crawler is that their evolution was reactionary, at least partially in regards to the horse. Whereas Crawler's biology (especially now given that the limb was from before she triggered!) is accurately summed up as 'loosely guided chaos and insanity' the horse's biology was carefully targeted and guided. Oh, she had no doubt the evolution could go wild if it was stressed to the breaking point but Amy couldn't imagine such a thing with the sheer amount of redundancies and contingencies coded into his very cellular structure.
And don't even get her started on his skeletal structure! It sure as hell wasn't bone but whatever it was it certainly got her power curious. Possibly some biometallic compound of some sort perhaps? Amy was sure she could recreate it in a limited fashion, but whatever else was in the horse she couldn't recreate it. Possibly some form of technology, Tinker tech most likely. Which honestly made Amy uncharacteristically worry for the horse's health.
After all implanted Tinker tech rarely leads to a healthy and happy life.
She'd only heard stories of course… which changed after she triggered.
Amy had seen some shit. And you'd think Biotinkers were the worst perpetrators.
(Fucking Leet how has he not been killed or Caged?)
"Penny for your thoughts sis?" Vicky asked, looking at her sister, "You're brooding more than usual."
"Just lost in thought." Amy answered, "About a weird meeting I had with a cape."
"He didn't try anything, did he!? Vicky asked with narrow eyes which made Amy tingle with excitement and disgust.
"No, it was just odd. I think his trigger really fucked up cause he's a horse." Amy responded,
"A horse? Do you mean like a barnyard, Mr. Ed, an odd-shaped dick type of horse?" Vicky asked, looking interested.
"... I am never looking at your browser history." Amy deadpanned making Vicky giggle, "But yeah. I came up and petted him thinking he's just a regular horse then… I couldn't even begin to describe what my power told me…"
"Need a smoke? You sound like you fucked him." Vicky teased making Amy blush, "So tell me what got your panties all moist?"
Amy just sputtered and reddened at Vicky's tease, what made it worse was… she did get somewhat excited when she touched him and his biology was laid bare to her power. It wasn't her fault that she was so bored and that her power latched onto the first interesting thing in years and its excitement leaked over to her.
"For starters, his immune system isn't bulletproof, more like it could tank a nuke and keep going." Amy said, "The best comparison I can make is to how Crawler's powers work. But it's much more… efficient in its adaptations. Plus I have the feeling that he's supposed to be in a constant state of evolution but something stalled that aspect out."
"Sounds like he's a nightmare to fight. Is he a Hero?" Amy managed not to roll her eyes at her sister's rather predictable question.
"He didn't say. But if he's a villain he's the most polite one I've ever met." Amy said, "If anything I think he's just an Independent that wants to get his basics sorted before making any big choices."
"Well here's hoping he makes the right choice." Vicky said, "I wanna meet the horse that got my sister all excited!~"
"Vicky!" Amy protested.
"What? Nothing wrong with taking a walk on the wild side as long as precautions are taken." Vicky said with a cheeky grin, "Besides 'Oh Mighty Healer' you can't heal yourself so… better stick to oral~"
"VICKY!!!" The now solid red Amy shrieked making the blonde flyer laugh hard.
"But seriously Amy." Vicky said between giggles, "I'll be with you every step of the way. I'm still upset with Dean."
And like that Amy's mood took a strange turn. Mention of Vicky's on-again-off-again boytoy/boyfriend soured her mood and yet her promise to be with her raised her mood to new heights!
"... Promise…?" Amy hated just how needy and desperate she sounded right then.
"Promise." Vicky said before giving her a quick kiss.
And Amy knew… she would need to throw her panties away when she got home. Thank Scion she was still wearing her costume!
<<<???>>>
Brockton bay is a shit hole; despite this world not following 'canon' somethings do indeed remain the same. Despite the thin veneer of porn logic, the city is still a gang paradise only with sex as the icing on top of the shit cake.
Still, I eventually arrived at my temporary base, after I brought myself up to snuff I'll try to find a better area to relocate, and… well at least it was structurally sound given how close to the bay it was. Through the large warehouse stank of drugs, stale urine and feces, sex, and despair as well as depression. These sensors are awesome but goddamn do they suck sometimes.
"Okay! Let's try to make this place livable." I said as I rolled my metaphorical sleeves, "And sterile so the eventual implant procedures don't risk infections."
Though I'm pretty sure my immune system would look at the most infectious diseases as a light snack at the very least. Still why risk it? But the question is how will I do this with only hooves?
CPU
Calculating
Processing
DSD: 75% functional (Repair needed)
DSD: 1 Android, 1 Universal Fabricator
Materialize Android and Universal Fabricator?
Huh, that's convenient!
My body did something and a… stupidly curvy and clearly anatomically correct female android materialized at my side. You know what? I'm not even going to bother questioning why I have what's obviously a sexbot in storage.
I just wireless connected to the droid and immediately started to clean up
God this was going to take all night! But it's not like I had anything better to do or need sleep in the first place.
Status
Phallus: 50% and rising
Female Detected
Initiating Rut Protocols
HPF (Hentai Physics Field) generator: 75% operational (Repairs needed)
HPF generator activated
I grunted as my half-mast turned into a rager in an instant, and I risked a glance and stared. I was going to have to get the HPF operating at peak efficiency before I even think of sticking this monster in anyone!
"I'm a goddamn Clydesdale!" I muttered, "That's goddamn three fucking feet!" And never mind the girth and width!
I stopped the android from her work and instead had her take care of something more important.
"I want you to suck this cock like it owes you money!" I have no idea why I'm saying this out loud but whatever, "And after I fix my HPF I'm going to rut you until there's a crater on the floor!"
… Was it me or did the android crawl under me faster at my words?
Meh, probably some sort of programmed response or something.
CPU
Amusement
I ignored my CPU (as much as I can that is) and simply enjoyed my androids' oral ministrations.
Thank god she was already naked cause I'm pretty sure any clothes she was wearing would be ruined by overabundant amounts of precum leaking out.
But fuck me if the smell of sex is going to be a nightmare to get rid of…
I was right of course, as much as I wish I wasn't.
I had withdrawn the Universal Fabricator from my DSD and wirelessly connected it to my Hyperspace core to power it and then set my Android to work, the fabricator providing my android all the tools and materials it needed to clean and sanitize the place.
"Though it's hard to be frustrated after having such a draining experience!"
Pretty sure I can tack on a 'One-Stallion Bukkake' to my eventual PHO handle, I mean I probably won't but I think it'd be amusing. Probably redundant and would attract the weirdos.
Shaking my head I decided to surf PHO whilst simultaneously trying to plan out my initial CMB implantation as well as debate on if I would remain in my current quadrupedal configuration or try to convert to a bipedal form.
Which is possible thankfully, though frustratingly enough just 'Human' wasn't possible. Seems no matter what I do I'm stuck with an equine form.
Troublesome…
Browsing PHO for a few minutes I found a recently created thread called "Horse in Lord's Market!" intrigued I opened the thread and started to read.
*seconds later*
"PHO is a silly place filled with deviants."
How, just how? How did asking directions turn into sexual propositions which turned into Vista being turned into a living fleshlight as she was strapped to my barrel and I go galloping down Lord's Market as my 'gigantic horsecock' utterly ruined her and reshaped her 'loli pussy' into the perfect receptacle for my 'mighty equine phallus' and giving her an unrelenting desire to have horsecock and being rutted and bred like a prized broodmare.
Thank god I'd just been drained or else I would've gotten aroused again.
Actually, who decided to wax poetic about my penis anyway?
I 'scrolled' back up (seriously the poster made an epic-length smutty poem which I couldn't help but find impressive.) to the poster.
SpecificProtaginist… of course… though now the question is what I should do? If anything?
I mean… this might not be Madison that was involved with Taylor's trigger. If anything Madison having a Case 53 fetish is a rather pervasive bit of fanon, so if anything this might just be someone that enjoys Beastiality.
And Taylor's triggering is still days away, about a week give or take a few hours.
Actually, now that I think about it… should I do anything? I mean she's going to trigger no matter what I do. I can't just follow her to school on the day she triggers or anything. But perhaps… I would need to meet her first of all and she'll be suspicious as hell but… perhaps I could give her a shoulder to lean on?
Absentmindedly I did a search on Danny Hebert (granted search is putting it simply but... meh it works) and… wasn't impressed and only slightly disappointed. I had hoped that Danny would be like one of his fanon counterparts, but no sadly enough. The data paints a picture of a broken shell of a man going through the motions, and though he genuinely loves his daughter it was clear to me that Danny wasn't the Pillar of Emotional Strength and Fortitude in the Hebert household.
But there's nothing I can do about that yet.
Right now I just need to decide: Quadruped or Biped
Both come with advantages and disadvantages, which both are largely negated due to my Tinkerish power. And the one advantage I'd have regardless is knowing I have the biggest cock anywhere I go!
Nickering in amusement I focused on planning out my initial implants, I could redesign my body later.
I had also decided on a name, seeing as my original name had been scoured from my memory suspiciously enough.
"Steel. Steel Cavalry." I said aloud for no real reason.
It felt right oddly enough.
Chapter 3
<<Steel Cavalry>>
CPU
Processing...
Simulating...
Error?
Query?
"Heh, well it's good to know we're not so intertwined. I do like my privacy." I quipped to my confused 'CPU' before I continued, "No, I don't legitimately need Amy's assistance to install the CBMs, I've already got all the basic infrastructure installed and an Autodoc ready. No, what I want is to study Amy's shard [Queen Shaper] as well as to give the irritated shard a chance to chew on some new data and ease off Amy." I explained calmly, "And the best way to help Amy is to get her to assist the installation process. Granted any organic damage I would incur is negligible but this will save me some pain as well as helping Amy so it's a win-win in my mind."
The CPU went silent but that didn't mean I couldn't feel it processing and running countless simulations what I told it. Chuckling I resumed fiddling with my biggest project; trying to achieve my previous human form!
Now don't get me wrong I've read a lot (and I mean a lot) of smut that involved either an equine phallus or a full-on horse, and the knowledge that I have the biggest dick (and balls now that I think about it) in the city is a helluva ego boost but goddamnit I miss having hands! You never know how much you take something for granted until it's gone.
Though I've already circumvented my lack of hands, it's still in the hypothetical stage but eventually, I'll go from having no hands to all the hands!
Though I'm also studying copyright and cape law so I don't get sued by GW if I wind up looking like a Techpriest. Turns out with the appearance of Heroes and Villains a lot of laws had to be quickly reworked. It also explained how something like the Birdcage can exist despite it being inhumane and unconstitutional.
But then again humans will do anything to feel safe and have a sense of control.
Sighing I decided to force myself to continue working on my projects and decided to go take a gallop around. Who knows maybe I'll run into the Wards again? It's hard to simulate the possibilities given how wildly different this world is to the one I know, hell for all I know I might accidentally save Lisa and she'll decide she's safe with me!
"Heh, as if that'd happen. I don't know canon but I know Coil got Lisa months before Taylor triggered."
Nickering faintly I left my hideout, activating the security systems I had set up. While I'm still looking for a better location it doesn't mean I'm not security conscious!
"Well… this is awkward…"
CPU
Amusement
Being used as a jungle gym and giving rides to young children wasn't what I planned when I decided to visit the park but it wasn't all that bad. If anything it made me seem friendly (which I am but you know how people get when capes are involved) but the kids weren't what made my current situation awkward.
And the occasional MILF that saw my big sack and giggled didn't make it awkward either. Well… maybe a little.
No, it was the fact that a young woman, thirteen to fourteen I guesstimate, watching me intently. And my sensors detected a quantum-tunnel connecting the woman to a shard. And it took me running a facial recognition program as well as scanning the citizen registry to find out who it is.
Dinah Alcott.
Okay seeing as she was here clearly she wasn't being drugged, but still, how should I proceed? I also had to try and recall Dinah's power, something about… predictions? Calculating the chances of things?
And judging from how she was watching me and the activity coming from the quantum-tunnel tethered to her she was actively using her power.
<<<Dinah Alcott>>>
Since the day she triggered Dinah's life had been rather miserable. Sure the power to calculate the odds of future actions with near-perfect accuracy sounds amazingly broken on paper. But the problem, to use a computer metaphor, is that her hardware simply wasn't up to the task of running the software.
The long and short is that every usage of her power caused discomfort that easily turned into 'ice-pick to the temple' levels of agony.
The fact that her power was completely involuntary meant that she got a taste of what she learned was called Thinker headaches far sooner and much more frequently than she would like.
'The chances of me being hurt in the park?"
[0.000234357843921@@!@$#*(&^&*(?]
"The hell?"
Her power had never glitched out like that before! It didn't even cause the normal dull ache that normally accompanied her power!
Looking around subtly she spotted that horse cape that PHO has been going on about playing with some kids. Or rather they were playing on him and he allowed it. The sight was enough to bring a small smile to her face
"Chances that he's making my power glitch?"
[200000000000000000000000%]
"Well, that's a certainty. And there's that ache… so when my power glitches the Thinker headache doesn't appear? Interesting. Chances that he can keep me safe?"
[80%]
"That is horrifyingly higher than when I asked about the Wards and Protectorate. Hmm, if I approach him and tell him about my power what are the chances he'll keep it secret and agree to protect me?"
[5555555555500000000000000000000%]
"Hmm, now how do I approach him and not make it weird?"
Well… Dinah always wanted to go horseback riding so… why not?
With a plan forming in her mind she approached the horse, after making sure neither of her parents would overreact or anything.
She loved them with all her heart but damnit she wasn't a little girl anymore!!
<<<Steel Cavalry>>>
"Hmm, seems like Little Miss Precog has a plan."
CPU
Processing…
Simulating…
Calculating…
Data
"Yeah, that sounds like that'd be her best bet."
It's funny but I just wonder how much tragedy would've been diverted in canon if people actually communicated? Probably a shit ton in all honesty but that would be logical and cut down on a lot of angst, trauma, and drama, and Wildbow couldn't have that!
Don't get me wrong I think Wildbow is a shit writer with a fetish for grimderp and a hard-on for… anti-authoritarianism or whatever. But I will give him something he gave the fanfiction scene a wonderful sandbox to play around it.
It was just disappointing that so many clung to the rails of canon like a lifeline. So, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to give whatever 'canon' exists in this world a big 'Fuck You' and buck it straight in the balls!
I don't know if I can fix this world but damn it I'll try to make it just a little less hellish!
