1 Chapter 1- Decision made

♛Amanda POV♛

Standing on my balcony at my apartment tonight with both of my hands wrap tightly on my chest. I rub slowly my left arm with my right hand to provide me with warmth from the not-so-harsh wind. The apartment finally in peace after all the chaos and noise from the morning till this night dissapeard along with my sweet troublesome sons. They had gone to bed after their failed attemting to keep up and convincing me to go to bed a little bit late because they said it was weekend, so they can stay up a bit later than their sleeping schedule.After they sleep I straight away come out from the room to tidying their scattered toys. Their toys are scattered eveywhere. By I mean everywhere is under the coffee table, at the kitchen, on the couch even in the bathroom.

I sigh lowly before taking a seat on the chair. My mind drifting back to my conversation with my sister Adlynn two weeks ago regarding my third sister's wedding Annie. The wedding will be held three weeks from now on. Adlynn said that Annie wants all of her siblings to be present on her big day. No exception she's said.The truth is I'm not ready to going back to New York after what happend three years ago. I am not ready to confront the father of my precious sons. It takes me a lot to be ready to meet him and to tell him about his hidden sons. I wonder what his reaction when he knows about them. Taking my left hand to my view, watching intently, especially my ring finger at the wedding ring that sat there for 4 years now. Even if I didnt like my wedding, but I never take off the wedding ring. There are reason for that,which is I dont any male to taken interest of me. Thingking that they will back off with their approaching or flirting when they see the goddamn ring, but some of the man are so stuborn did not care that the fact I was already taken.

And some of them really had a nerve to ask the presence of my husband. Well, me being me I just smile politely at them just ignoring their annoying presence, pretending that they not talking to me. After all that the best way to make they automacticly back off.

Pregnant at 20 years old was not what I expected at all. When I learn about my pregnancy, I'm panic I dont know what to do. It takes weeks to digest that I was pregnant and with none other than the boy that I hate the most. Lets not forgot that I will cried all the time the whole week. I cannot believe it happend to me. Jason and I both come from the same high school, but we never had a good relationship. Who even likes playboy like him only someone like to get hurt or crazy I suppose. I despise someone who treats girls like rubbish. After he is bored with them, he just throws them away without care about their feeling.

I dont even understand what my parents saw in him. I tell them about how I feel toward that jerk but they not even knowledge my opinian. They arw so blinded my he's acting. I dare to say that he can get Oscar Award by the way he acting nice and good infornt of my parent. But I know better than to believe that guy over his acting. I cannot believe that he told my mum and dad we are friends in school. Hello! who even want to befriend an asshole like him. Even if I dont have a friend in school I never build a relationship with him.Not in this lifetime. I nearly going crazy with my parent's decision when they decided to marry us. Can't, they saw that I can't even stand him when the jerk near me. Both of us trying so hard to make our parents canceling the wedding but we never succeed. I aslo ask my sibling to help me to tell them that I dont want to marry him. But to no avail my sibling effort just waste. I admit that Jason is all girls want in a boy. You say it,

Rich, check

Handsome, check

Tall, check

Gentleman, also check

And last but not least being an asshole also a check.

Just like Rica Rosella say bad boy always have admired. Yeah, guess what Jason is also classified as a bad boy group in our school. I cannot understand why does the girl always like to be a patner to  the bad boy. I think they even not worth to be loved by the girl. All they do is hurt the girl feeling and dont even care about their feeling. And that I why I hate Jason because he is classified in the bad boy group. Let not forgot that he loves to get me riled up over some small thing like getting a ton of love letter during the Valentine Day. Its not just during special occasion like he literally got the letter everday single day from his fan or I can  the bimbo that squeling everytime he walking through the corridor passing by them.

Fate really like to play with me through out high school when I forcefully waching him and  his girl  shoving on each other throat every moring,reccess, lunch and even after school. Some other time he purposely making out infront of my locker that just behind his that make me one time end up throwing up at both of them.

Hell yeah, I was just so happy seeing their face. He deserve that after all.

He never stay longer with one girl, I think he change girl like once a week.  It was still clear as a cystal when I really get mad at him one day that he endure my punch on the eye, walking around the school with a black eye for one week. I was on way to my locker during the reccess time when the incident happy. I was grumpy and cranky that day due to my monthly visit.

Making a b-line to my locker ignoring Jason who is unfortunately having an agrument with one of his so many girlfriend.

I was being just shoving and taking book for the next class when suddenly the girl slapping my locker door while hytically yelling at me accusing that I seduce her so call boyfriend.

Bewildered look on my face I turn to the crazy looking girl when she think that was a perfect time for her to slap me. Jaw clenching tight, looking merderously at smirking Jason who is clearly satisfied with his girlfriend act. Ignorinc the crazy bitch I step forward to Jason glaring at him with a clench jaw and fist. I was never feeling so satisfied when his annoying smirl wipe up from his annoying face when my tiny fist make a contact with his left eye.

The crowd that was watching our drama from earlier making 1'ohh' and 'ahh' sound when I punch him. Turning my body from him I slam my locker door shut before menavoure my way through the body of student didnt care with the stunt I pull. To say I wasnt guilty was clearly understament when I see his black eye through the week but I was to ego to apologize to him. Aftet all he never apologize to me when he overstepped his boundries.

♥Flashback

Rica and I giggling softly among the two of us while walking passed the bodies of student in the hallway that also have the same purpose which is to the shcool canteen. Ignoring some of the teenagers who is busy making out infront of the locker, after all its Valentine Day. Its a common for them to cherisng their patner just the place is not really a spesific place to do all that. But who care, of course nobody care about it. Maybe some of them who is single like Rica and me.

For me its wasting of time to do all the coupling and the mushy stuff like that. For me it better to spend my time doing somthing better like worrying about the future, my career and so on without worrying certain someone who is not sure will stay with us in the future. The way my mind think that if I decided to have a boyfriend and we are not fate to be together, it make me think that I somehow taking care of someone future husband or someone future lover. And also why bother to that when we somehow end up getting a heart break.

But it really someone decision if they want to that. The way the human think are never the same. So for me all of the action we take hold a concequence that we willing to take.

Despite all of my thinking I didnt realise that we finally arrive at the school canteen. A soft smile broke to my lip when I see Cathy and Randy his boyfriend already sitting on the table, animatedly takling. I envy the relationship. Its been 5 years of their relationship and they manage to stay loyal to each other. I want something like that,they respect each other. Not something that is temperory.

I scowl took over my face when I remember certain someone who is having relationship like that. That someone manage to turn my beautiful bright day to moody day just because of his presence. Rica and I greet the lover before waiting at the end of the line to get our food. The school canteen as usual was lively with student chit-chat among each other. And it became more lively with hoot and cheer this special occasion when some teenager taking a chance to asking to be their gilfriend or boyfriend or watching the boyfriend giving thier present to their girlfriend.

What can I say highshcool life iy full drama!

I am quite content with this peaceful because Jason did not grace me with his presence with morning along with his 'I dont know which girl this time'. I mentally vomit when I am not supposed to think their act of the absence this morning.

Yucky! Crazy brain.

Smiling, I make a b-line to our table along with the tray I didnt realise that a foot come out of nowhere that make trip. Gasping loudly, I lost balance and staright fell into the floor. The metal tray making a 'clanking' sound loudly through school canteen when it slamming to the marble floor. The once not so clean floor now dirtied by the food that I get. I can feel all of the attention focusing on me.

The loud laugh catching my hearing that make my blood boil through my vein. Still sitting on the floor, I slowly turn my gaze to the laughing voice glaring at the him before standing up. My teeth and fist clenching painfully waiting for his laugh to subside.

"Are you done?", I ask him calmly watching his smirking. I am ticking bomb just waiting to be exploded. To this point I hate him so much, not scrath that to this day I despise Jason Mthpercy existence.

Why cant even I at least one day have a peaceful day. I always have have a bad day because of this arrogant asshole. I'm really tempted to punch his face once again, loving the black bruise eye on him. I sadist I know, but who care anyway.

Not taking a chance for him to reply I swiftly crunching down on the floor, taking the dirty food now on the floor with both of my hand. Looking at him dead at the eyes with much hatred I dump the food on his with force while saying. His eyes widen when he realise my intention but it was to late for him to run when the food collide to his face instead of my fist.

"STOP. RUIN.MY.DAY. YOU .FREAKING.ASSHOLE. I.HATE. YOU.SO.MUCH", I spat at him with venom pressing the each word. Satiesfied with his dumpfounded face replacing hia smug smirk, I walk away from their table looking mad as ever, taking my bag from my friend table before rapidly walk away from silent school canteen.

Swiftly after I left the canteen my friend running after me and I clearly need to cool down from my anger. Since that day, Jason never really bother me,but

There a BUT! It not long.

After my burst past for a month he back to disturbing me. Its like the guy never take my warning. So I just ignore his existence and try to avoid as much as I can to bump with him until graduation day. Its a good thing then there was no teacher at the canteen that day or else both of us will be in detention after school.

♥ Flashback end

And long short story Jason and I finally get married when I was 19 years old and he's 20 and yeah it was an arranged marriage. Why do our parents want us to marry at such a young age, actually I dont even know the answer? How did I manage to get pregnant even we hate each other. Easy. We had one night together and all of that because of both us drunk and unconscious about what we do. It was Rayvean's birthday party when it happend, right after we have our graduation day. When I think back about that moment I accuse that maybe Jason seduces me. Hah! as if, if anything it's my fault that I was tempted with Jason temptation. I know all along even if Jason hate me, he's not a playboy if he dont grabs the chance to get in my pant. And he did. He took my virginity and he manages to get pregnant. How unfortunate is that?

I also remember the first I meet him. He's was 5year old meanwhile I was 4 year old back then. Jason was a troublesome kid since he was kid, whenever my family or his family come for a visit, he never once failed to make me cried. My parent or sibling will coax me to meet them when I throwing a tantrum because I didnt want to see him.

My reverie was broke when I feel that the wind become a bit harsh. I sigh. It looks like I dont have a choice to go back to New York. It looks like I have to prepare physically and mentally to faces him. It seems that my decision to settle down in London is unsuccessful. It's not like that I can hide forever from him. In the end, I have to tell him about the twin.