1 Chapter One: All I Feel Is Pain

There he was sitting beside the queen and king in the castle. He had grown so much taller, more regal than she remembered. Though he still had that flaming red hair and emerald eyes, his once chubby cheeks were now gone, replaced with a chiseled jaw and high cheek bones.

His smile aimed at her and all she could think about was the young boy who had gaps between his two front teeth. It had been too long since she saw him and a part of her yearned for those days back, but she stomped it away. She had a duty. She knows her place now.

"Lynn?" he called out, surprised coloring his face. She watched as he stood quickly and ran down the steps towards her.

"My prince," she greeted kneeing down, "my king and queen."

"You may stand," she heard him say in excitement, and from the bounce she could hear beside her, she knew he was giddy.

Standing, she was enveloped in a hug, tight like she remembered.

"I've missed you Lynn! You must tell me how training for knighthood was," the prince said happily.

Lynn closed her brown eyes and enjoyed the hug. This would most likely be the only hug she would be allowed to have for quite a long time, if ever. She reached her arms up to return the hug but paused. She couldn't do it. Their paths are different now.

"It is nice to see you again Prince Garret," Lynn pulled back gently and smiled, but the smile wavered when his soft fingers ran through her hair.

"It's short," Prince Garret said softly with a frown on his lips.

Lynn didn't reply. She glanced over his shoulder to see the king and queen staring at her with narrowed eyes. Her father, standing to the side also watched with sadness because he knew her heart. Yet, he did nothing to aid it.

"Where did these scars come from?" she glanced back at Garret to see he was leaning forward, too close.

His fingers were running down the right side of her temple where her recklessness was shown. Gentle he went following the lines from her temple to the slight curve of her cheek.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he apologized having both hands against the sides of her face, "… you were hurt and I, I wasn't there."

Lynn wanted to laugh. What did he have to apologize for? What would he have done if he were there? Prince Garret, still ridiculous as when they were children.

"You have nothing to apologize for, my prince," Lynn pulled his hands away from her face and stepped back. She saw the frown again before he stepped forward once more.

"Lynn-" he was interrupted by his father's stern voice. It sounded like thunder to her.

"Garret. That is enough. Let her go to her father," the king's frown was hidden behind his facial hair.

She kept her head bowed waiting. Be obedient, be submissive when need to, be respectful.

"You are dismissed Lynn," the king announced, and Lynn thanked him and stood straight.

Once upon a time, she had loved King Alastir and Queen Celeste.

As Lynn turned to walk towards her father, a hand wrapped around her forearm. Pausing, she turned to see emerald eyes watching her as if to fill the exposed holes she carried on her body.

"Will you be in the castle for long?" he asked softly and Lynn let out a deep breathe through her nose.

"If that is what you wish, my prince, then I will stay a bit longer," Lynn replied.

The smile that she received was blinding; his smiles always were.

"Great! I do, please. After you and your father get reacquainted, find me in my quarter," Garret said pleased only to have that bright smile dim when the queen spoke up.

"She would do no such thing!" The look on the queen's face was the look of indignation.

"Why not!" Garret questioned incredulously.

"You petulant child! Do you not remember what will occur in a couple days?" Queen Celeste stood up glaring with her hazel eyes, "princesses from other kingdoms will come, accompanied by-"

"-The Kings and Queens of their lands. I know. I just don't see the point in it and-"

Lynn had moved towards her father at this point and stood before him. He still looked as strong and fearless as he did when she left. Brown eyes with scars around them from the battles he had fought in stared at her.

A nod and an arm opened for her to walk into, so she did. When she was younger, she would be delighted to be wrapped in his strong arms that had slayed many enemies. Now? Now all she felt was pain and betrayal.

"-we've spoken about this already, my son," Lynn heard the king shout as he stood.

"I have given you my reasons why there is no need for it!" the prince screamed back standing his ground. Lynn do not remember witnessing a fight like this with the two royals before.

"And we have told you why that will never come to be," King Alastir finalized, "you will find your bride amongst the princesses at the ball or your mother and I will do it for you."

Coldness swept over her body as if she had been pushed into the icy waters of the Arctic. The king and queen are hosting a ball for the prince to find his wife.

Of course.

She pushed away from her father and turned to watch the way Prince Garret's fists were balled, the scowl on his face, the clenching of his jaw. Then she glanced at her uncle, the one who had brought her back because their highnesses had requested it. Her uncle knew about the ball.

He looked at her, catching her eyes and just stared for a moment before looking away. That confirmed it. Returning her gaze back at the prince, his head was bowed slightly before him and his hands were no longer fisted at his sides. He looked defeated and Lynn told herself to breathe slowly.

This was no place to cry.

She had cried too many times to no avail. Nothing was going to change. Just when she thought she got herself under control, Garret lifted his head and turned toward her.

Pain and sadness were all she read in those eyes and she knew what he wanted to say because she wanted to say it too, but neither one would be able to say it out loud. Not here, not now, not ever again.

Lynn sent a smile that she did not feel his way because she knew where her place was, and it was not beside him. The promise they made when the sun began to set over the garden of primed flowers was just a silly promise of two naïve children too innocent for this world.

Garret shook his head as if to say no, I will find a way and turned away. She watched him walk out of the throne room and she could feel her resolve crumbling. The tightness in her heart and throat was starting so she excused herself.

"I wish to go to your home, father," Lynn said with a slight bow.

"Go," her father permitted after a pause, and she said her goodbyes to the king and queen, then her uncle, before leaving the room as well. Walking all the way out of the castle to where the river was, she needed the quietness.

She needed to be alone with this feeling of pain, always pain.

The river was two miles away from the castle and a mile away from her father's home. When she got there, the sun was going down. How poetic, Lynn thought with a sad smile leaning her back against the tree.

Letting her tears finally escape down her cheeks and chin, she just stared silently at the scenery before her. The river, sparkling like glitter from the reflection of the sun, swayed against the gentle wind.

For a moment, even after the tears were all picked up from the wind, Lynn waited. What was she waiting for? She really should not be waiting for anyone or expecting anyone. Letting out a laugh as she placed her palm against her face. This, this was ridiculous.

Her life was ridiculous.

But still.

Letting out a sigh, she pulled the necklace out from under her shirt and stared at the ring. Stems twisted into a ring that once fit her small fingers. Letting out a smile, she slipped her pinky into the hole. She stared at it a little longer before standing up.

Removing the ring from her pinky and hiding the necklace once more, she wiped her face and returned to her father's home before it got too late.

She really should not have come back.