Guilt

I slowly opened my eyes. I stared up at a white ceiling. I winced at the soreness of my body. Thoughts started rushing into my head. Car...tree...screaming.. We got into a car crash! I jerked out of the bed that I was laying in and desperately looked around for Xi Fang. I realized that I was in a hospital room and rested my head in my hands. I let out a huge breath. Just then, a short nurse walked in.

"Oh you're finally awake," she said. I shook my head yes. The little nurse kept on talking. "You didn't get injured or anything but just a few bruises on your arms and.." I didn't pay attention to what she was saying anymore and kept on thinking about how Xi Fang was. The little nurse must've seen the worried expression on my face and stopped talking about my health. "You must be wondering about your friends condition," she said. I shook my head again to say yes. "Well, things aren't looking so good for her. She has a concussion and had some severe head damage. You're lucky that you barely got hurt. You're perfectly fine compared to her," said the nurse reassuringly.

I gasped. "Is she going to be ok!?' I cried.

The little nurse tried to smile. "Don't worry. She just has to stay in the hospital for a few days. We're trying very hard to fix the damage that's been done. Don't be too scared for her. She's a strong girl, she's going to heal just fine."

I closed my eyes and tried to hold in my tears.

The nurse patted me on the shoulder. "Hey it's ok, it's not like it's your fault your friend ended up this way," said the nurse in a comforting voice. What she said made me want to cry even more because it actually was my fault. She then quickly added, "That was one huge tree you guys crashed into. You two are very lucky."

"Yeah," I murmured.

-In Hospital Room 201-

I looked down at Xi Fang's withered face and let out a shaky breath. I tried to be strong and held in my tears in front of the hospital staff because I didn't want to seem weak but when I saw how helpless Xi Fang looked in that hospital bed, the tears that were clogged up in my eyes started streaming out. I rested my head on the blanket of the bed but got it all soggy with tears. "I'm so sorry Xi Fang," I said unsteadily. I took a piece of hair on her face and pushed it behind her ear. "This is all my fault." I started crying even more until I felt the taste of salt on my tongue. I would never forgive myself for this.

I walked outside of the hospital and had no idea what to do. My tears dried up because of the breeze and I started walking. I didn't know where I was going but I just started walking. As I walked through the streets I kept on thinking about what happened. If only I paid attention to the road. Xi Fang was in that hospital bed because of me. She would never trust me ever again. Even I didn't trust myself anymore. I should've seen that massive tree. What was wrong with me? I realized that things would never be the same between my best friend and I after this. I started to weep again. As my tears streamed down, I realized what a sorry sight I was. Walking through dark streets with tears all over my face. I wanted to stop but I just couldn't. I kept on trudging forward. I was about to turn a corner when I heard a twig snap behind me.