1 Chapter 1 - I guess the beginning

So to be totally honest I don't remember my childhood at all. I have very vague memory of it. It quite annoying to not know what you were doing as a child but I won't consult my parent( yeah it is correct I do technically have one parent but we'll that comes later) about this cause .... welll, I don't know the reason. It weird that me personally can't figure out why I do things, like my motivation or reasons.

Anyway back to my childhood ,I will tell you some bits I do remember. One day while I was bored at home (btw I am about 4 at this time) and I had no one to play with , I don't know what my siblings doing but I guess playing with their friend cause that is the only thing you can do. Mother's out probably supervising my siblings or something and I am left at home with my dad. Now since he was the only one in the house I figured I shall interact with him.

So he in his bedroom with was at the far back of the house and I am like we'll that crawl over there. And we'll what a struggle it was , not really I am four I can walk. When I approached his room the sliding door was already open and e was lying on his bed. Now the bed was decently high but I was like I NEED to get up there. I don't remember getting up there but I am going to act like I had super strength and practice martial arts( if I need to make it more interesting it will occur more so be aware it is not true lol) since I was a kid and got up there all but my self.

Once I was up and sat on top of my dad almost like I was trying to rid his chest. At this point I realized he was smoking( do they do that in cultivation time ??? oh well they do now :)) now in my head I am like ooooo this is dangerous but I want to touch it not figuring out the flame could hurt me.

So my urge to over and I put my finger into my dad lit cigarette. It was only for a second so I didn't get hurt or anything but something that bothers me is that my dad ,you know the one that half made you and should take care of you especially when they are the only parent there , just let me touch a bare flame as a child and didn't even react. Like could could have ask are you ok? Are you hurt???? But nope. Just forget about your child I don't mind not being loved good thing I don't like you too oh whoops can disrespect the people who made me. Hang like me repent my knee for some hours to show I appreciate being alive..... or do ..I..

Welp anyways, one day I stumbled across my mother's weapons ( it was a hair curler and it was still hot but for the purpose of this it is some poisonous weapons :)). And I was like oooo cool weapons , it was some poisonous needle I was playing with and so I decided to mess around with it and was like ooo sharp end let me just .... and I guess I poisoned my self , but very quickly my mom notice and took her weapons away from me and stared treatment straight away.

It is quite interesting to see how each other then acted differently . You could say I do appreciate them both but in my current state of mind I can't say the same about my self but your going to have to wait for those stories.