5 The Voice In My Head

Mother left me soon after our talk. She held me as I cried in despair. In my head, I understood why she did the things she did, but my heart was still hurting. Laying on my small broken bed, I remember the piece I was working on pulling off. Sliding off to the floor, I crawl back under reaching for the broken board.

Pulling with all my strength to board cracked some more. "Come on. Just a little further." I whisper to the board as if it will listen. Twisting it to the side a bit, giving it one more big yank, the board snaps. With the release of the board, I slide backward, smacking my head on the frame of the bed. Grabbing the cause of my pain slowly, I ease up to a seated position. Reaching behind my head, I can feel a knot forming with a small cut down the center. Pulling my hand back to look at it, I notice my fingers are covered in red sticky blood. Gripping my newfound tool in one hand, holding my head with the other, I stood and took a seat on my bed. Reaching over to the little sink, I pulled out a shady cloth and held it to the sore spot to help stop the bleeding. It was a small cut, but it bled heavily for a few minutes, coating the wash cloth with crimson blood.

Once the blood finally clotted, I grabbed my tool and headed for the door. I was getting out of this damn prison if it's the last thing I do. Please don't let it be the last thing I do, as I haven't done anything in my life, and there is so much I want to explore. Wedging the end of the tool between the wall and the sliding door, I pushed as hard as I could with no resolution. The door didn't budge, even a little. The lock on the other side must be very heavy. I tried to push the door for what seemed like hours. Switching where I place the tool, trying everything I can think of. With a whine of defeat, I sink to the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees. I dip my head down and cry. I cry for my mother, for me, for the huge bump on my head and the defeat I feel from not getting the door open.

In the midst of crying, I start to feel a tingling in my head. Thinking it's just from hitting it earlier, I ignore the feeling. When all of a sudden I hear a deep, silky voice, "My Luna, why are you crying?" My head shot up, looking around for the source of the question. My room was still empty. Am I going crazy? Have I finally lost it? I start to panic, but if I'm going crazy at least I'll have someone to talk to. My voice shaking, I say, "Hello." No response. I thought about it for a second. If I'm going crazy and hearing things, maybe I just need to think back to the voice. Reaching out with my thoughts searching for the voice, I feel a slight tingle again and respond "H-hello."

In seconds, a wave of love and happiness rolled over me as the deep sexy as hell voice rolled through my head again. "Hello, sweet girl. I've been waiting for you for a very long time, my Luna." His voice swirled around me, wrapping me in lightness and joy. As happy as he, whoever he was, I was still nervous and full of questions.

"W-who is this?" I know, silly, but if I am going to talk to a stranger, I would at least like to know his name. As I thought the question, I touched my head and wince in pain. As I felt the pain, I also had a wave of concern and comfort wash over me.

" I am sorry. I have forgotten my manners. My name is Adam. I am the future alpha of the White Willow pack. It is located in the northern tip of Idaho, close to the Canada border." His introduction was very formal, but I can tell he's a very proud and kind soul.

"Why do you keep calling me, Luna? That isn't my name." I had to ask. Is he's just talking to the wrong person? I mean, Luna isn't even slightly close to Saraphine. Even with the simple conversation, I was feeling more relaxed. I may be going crazy but this is the beat I've felt sense my mother told me I couldn't leave my prison.

"I call you my Luna because you are my future and the future of my pack. You are my queen." My heart sped up, feeling like it would beat out of my chest."Sweet, Luna. Do not panic. I did not mean to overwhelm you. Do you want to be Luna?"

His future, queen, Luna.... what. My brain is moving a thousand miles per hour. Questions are running bouncing between each other. "Queen? How can I be queen? I've never been outside. Never met another person besides my mother, and you want me to be queen???" My voice hitching up a few notches, and I realized I'm speaking out loud as well as in my head. " Why would you want me? You've never met me before. I just learned your name. I don't ev-"

He cut me off, "My sweet Luna. It does not matter that we have not met in person. The moon goddess made you for me and me for you." His reassuring voice trying to calm my panic. Then, a hit of anger ran through my head. "And what do you mean you've never been outside? Where are you?" A growl rolled through me.

Stammering, I try to explain my life. "I-I've never been outside. I am not allowed to leave the room..." his rage hit me like a ton of bricks. "Please don't be angry. I've been here my whole life. I want to leave, but Mother says it isn't safe." I can feel him trying to steady his breath before he spoke.

My sweet Luna. My sweet caring Lun.. What is your name? I don't have any issue calling you Luna, but I need to know."

Smiling with a deep blush, creeping up my cheeks. I don't know why telling Adam my name made me blush, but for some reason , it did.

"My name is Saraphine Amethyst Gowdie. Mother calls me Sara." I sent a smile to him, and by god, I feel him send a rush of need to me.

"My Luna Saraphine, please tell me where you are." I can feel him yearning for my touch. " Please, I can feel your fear and sadness. Let me come and take you from the small room and show you the world."

"How do you know of my room?" I ask as a tear falls from my eyes.

"Oh, I dreamt of you. You were asleep on a small bed with blue and purple flowers on it. There were no windows and very little in your room." He pauses before dipping back to his dream. " You had tears drying on your face, and you were still hiccuping from crying so hard. You were so small and beautiful. I couldn't help but love you immediately. Please tell me where you are. Our bond isn't sealed yet, so I can't find you without help."

He saw me on my birthday. The day I thought I would get to leave, " I want to leave. I would tell you where I am, but I haven't been outside, and my mother only tells me about the world. She's never told me where we live." Thinking about the story she told me of my life, I could feel my nerves bunching up and worry set in, and Adam could tell.

A deep rumble rolled a cross my thoughts as he felt my nervousness. "Saharphine, tell me. I can feel your fear and worry. Do not hide things from me."

Nervously, I started to explain what my mother had told me. "Mother told me the story of my birth and why I am not allowed outside. Mother is a Wiccan, and her coven lives in a very tight community. She said her family owns a large piece of property that her and her sister played and explored all the time. When one day her baby sister went missing, It turns out their neighbor had been abusing my mother, and when her sister went missing, my mother confided in her parents as to what had been happening. My grandfather and a bunch of other men from their coven went to the neighbor drug him out of the house, finding Mother's sisters body in the attic, I believe. The coven took the matter into their own hands and tore the man apart. A few months later, Mother realized she was pregnant and hid me as her secret." I paused, giving Adam a moment to process it all.

"But my Saraphine, why would she keep you a secret?" He sounds concerned.

"Cross breading is frowned on in Mother's coven, but worse, I was a bastard child from abuse. Mother was worried they would kill me if they found out about me." My worry hitting harder and his realization came.

"Cross breading?" He asked."What was the man?" I could feel his anger and confusion over the story, and this next part had me more concerned than ever. What if I told him my father, the rapist, the murderer who took Mother's innocence, and her sister life was his kind? A wolf. What if after I told him he didn't want me any more? My grandfather killed one of Adams kind. Not only that, but I'm a half breed. I'm not a witch like my mother and not a wolf like Adam. I'm just a bastard who shouldn't have been born.

"My love? I can feel your confliction. Please talk to me." I can feel his sincerity.

Taking a deep breath and steadily bringing myself, I jumped in. "The neighbor. My father was a wolf."

I let him soak that in. His thoughts are running like crazy. I can feel all the questions and irritation he is feeling. Please let him still want me.