1 My thoughts

There are so many nights I think to myself "Am I good enough?". "Do they really want me here?". there's so many nights I cry myself to sleep while my thoughts tear me down. I've been through so much shit that my life is like a movie but it's not. being raped at 7! that fucked up my brain. Being damn near almost molested by the person my mom lives with at 12 fucked me up too. losing my best friend (My grandpa) on Valentine's day made shit so much worse. It's fucking bad that I can't even go to my mom with the shit I feel without being put in a hospital. I have thoughts. Thoughts a 15 year old shouldn't have, I have people talking in my head telling me I'm better off dead and that nobody needs me here. and sometimes I listen to them . I have fucking depression, I want to sleep all damn day and forget about the whole world. there's days I just sit and cry. It's bad that I cry out of nowhere. I'm in PAIN. but no one ever listens to me. I'm mentally and emotionally tired. I'm drained. I don't know what to do anymore . I just want to hide from the world.