Chapter One: Early Morning Shenanigans with Delicious Delusions For Breakfast
Frankly, it was a shock to come in to terms with my 'condition'. Just imagine having the ability to have a very fulfilling life by triggering flags and stacking out points with a girl and voila! Instant romance without even adding water.
But in this case, even as a delusion, reality breaks all forms of expectations.
It came without fanfare nor even a cute anime girl voice telling me I've won the weeb lottery.
"Let there be choices", and there it was.
I was probably half-dreaming and half-awake when the first choices came into view.
Choices
1.) Your childhood friend Chizuru wakes you up.
2.) Your mom wakes you up.
Alleluia!
Was my first reaction, albeit in a dreamy singsong voice inside my head.
Hah! Like every MC before me, would I actually miss my chance to take a go at this? By the hallowed names of Hisao, Tomoya, or any other VN protagonist that made into the beatified halls of kamiges, I won't! I don't care if it was a dream or anything, just let me indulge!
And by that, it shall be a near-masochistic contemplation of what flag to trigger.
So lemme analyze this first. Despite my lack of capacity for calculating the consequences of my actions in real life, it was the opposite in the 2nd dimension.
At first glance, the most ideal choice is to go with the childhood friend rather than my mom. Childhood friends were really neglected and taken for granted in most pieces of culture we have today, so much that I have a soft spot for them. Plus the fact that I don't have any childhood friends today.
That doesn't mean that they died or something; it's just that I haven't made any in the course of my childhood. Hahaha.
As for the second choice, it's my mom. My mom is my mom. No need for further explanations. And no I don't want any "Ara, ara" twists later on so I don't want to complicate stuff. But it's necessary to pick neutral choices if you want to avoid other routes.
My inane ramblings came to a halt when I realized aside from the rather undecorated choice bars, there was nothing in sight. I can't feel anything either. Nor even move. It was like my consciousness wasn't inside my body and it was floating in sheer black void with choices as the only occupants besides me.
Time was immaterial, and I can't tell what was really happening unless I choose.
For a moment I was afraid that this was going to be my entire life if I didn't choose.
A moment immortalized in eternity without anything that happens. A limbo.
Oh well. It's probably only just a dream anyways. Might as well do it.
So Chizuru, I choose you!
The moment I thought those words, the bar that contained that choice glowed a dull blue and only my fleeting thoughts in that void remained.
Who the hell was Chizuru?
"A-chan, wake up!"
A rather hard shake on my shoulder followed that energetic voice.
Is my dream over?
"A-chan! Oiiii! I didn't came all the way here just to see your sleeping face but.... I'm not saying that it isn't cute or anything! I wouldn't mind staring at it the whole day but... jeez! We have school today, so wake up!"
It was an unfamiliar girl's voice, but for the life of me, I couldn't seem to wake up. I was still trapped in that limbo and wondering who was Chizuru.
My body remained in a sleeping state, yet my mind was already prepping itself for yet another morning.
"Waaaaa~~~kkkeee uuup! A-chan!"
Her energy contrasted mine: an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.
Probably her shaking and moaning went on for minutes while I appear to be blissfully sleeping.
The tremors stopped as she probably gave up on what she was doing.
"If you won't wake up... then I will..."
My heart pounded louder, for I was antcipating a cliché that was rather legendary in its existence. Was this the goodmorning kiss?
Hello youth!
"...pour water onto you!"
Eh?
Wait a minute here!
I struggle to open my eyes in hopes of avoiding an premature water bath! It was no good! I may be fully awake mentally, but my body feels like dead weight, almost as if I was under the effect of a sleep paralysis.
No good, no good, no go----
A cold slap of water splashed in my face like a tsunami proceeding from those earlier shaking motions of her.
"@#$%^*!!!"
I uttered those incomprehensible words as I sputter and open my eyes towards the person responsible for my rude awakening.
There, a most unbelievable sight in my room laid forth before me.
It was a girl of my age.
She wore our school's characteristic uniform, and she held a single mug, which suspiciously looks like mine. Empty of water I'm sure, as my face and hair were drenched.
Her childish face and figure bore no resemblance from anyone I knew, especially those twintails. Only an anime character would wear those like she does. And besides, she had Oriental features far more refined than mine.
If I have an Eastern Asian descent in my blood, it would be a drop or two, but her veins are sure to overflow with it, judging from those almond eyes and her porcelain skin.
"A-chan, are you awake?"
I stared at her.
She blinked at me with her pretty eyes.
I stared at her some more.
Her body flinched as she bashfully fidgeted at my unwavering gaze.
Who is this girl? I've never seen her before in my 3D life or even at my 2D homeworld.
Chizuru, a silent voice insides me takes shape and informs me as I recall the contents of my dreams earlier. Was it that? Was she this? Was this the setting? Well, what the hell? If a childhood friend named Chizuru is going to wake me up, then shouldn't it be done with a gentler awakening? Not a deluge which inundated myself and my sheets, at the very least.
If we would be specific, it would be like, "A-chan, wake uuuup..." and as I do so she would bashfully bite her lower lip and shyly avert her eyes while whispering these words:, "Would you like to have breakfast? A bath? Or would you like... me?"
"A- chan... if you would keep staring at me like that..."
I tore away my my thoughts from having that cheesy delusion. Nay, it was first class yet an overused trope that I would love to sink in everyday as ambrosia...
"The next time would be iced water, yes?"
Wait, what?
She made an attempt to leave my room with my mug, presumably to get water from the fridge to pour upon me to bring me to my senses ---- stop her and wait a goddamned minute!
"Wait! Wait, wait, I'm awake, I'm awake!"
I rambled out these words like a broken record as she stopped in her tracks and faced me.
"A-chan, sometimes you're still sleeping even if you appear to be awake so I have to take... what's those words? Preemp... tive... measures. Yup! I've made such preemptive measures to prevent you from sleeping in like last time even though your eyes are open!"
That melodic voice vaguely sounded like a heroine from one of my plethora of visual novels ranging from eroges to moeges. A cacophony of their kawaii voices exploded and imploded inside my head as I tried to get a heavy grip on my reality.
Was this real, though? Was this the real life? Having a stranger waking me up with a splash of my bedside water? Even though, it's not, I needed to know more about this scenario straight from a virgin's deluded mind. And if it's real, well....
I pulled my blankets a bit higher and tried to ignore the wet feeling my body was in, and asked the weird girl near my bedside.
"For starters, who are you?" I knew that somehow her name was Chizuru based from that choice I've made earlier but there is a very high chance that she is a trespasser and that 'choice' was a baseless delusion.
She scrunches her lips in a pout and attempts to look upset.
It's a major failure since she looked even cuter that I myself would surrender and fawn over her like a hierophant. Instead, I kept my guard up and she angrily tried to wear it down.
"This game again, A-chan? Very well, I'll play with you to your heart's content! Then promise me that you'll get ready for school and you won't joke like this again?"
"Yeah, just answer my question." I said this rather brusquely as I wanted to clear any misunderstandings or preconceptions I might have as quickly as possible.
She pouted at this, but quickly recovered from my cold words as she brushed her skirt from any imaginary lint it had. Then in a perfect curtsy, she 'introduced' herself to me.
"My name is Chizuru Argoncillo. Pleased to make your acquaintance."
So Chizuru, huh? That's a name to go with the illusory choices earlier that appeared in my dream. Coincidence? I think not.
She mockingly teased me as she took another smug pose, as if saying "Does this satisfy you now?".
"No, it doesn't." In hindsight, I was perfectly calm talking with a 3D girl at my age. Normally it would end up with me being tongue-tied and the other party with condenscending smiles and giggles.
3D was scary.
"Are you perhaps half-Japanese or something?" That was a natural question for me to ask, honestly. My knowledge of Japanese culture was just as good as any full-fledged weeb who had survived the Endless Eight, made the Renai Circulation as their ringtone, or owned a secret folder containing sayonara nuclear launch codes. It went without saying that with her appearance and name might be Japanese or something.
"What gave it away? My eyes or the name? Nihahaha. Jeez, A-chan, get up already and take a bath!" She fumed as she left my room in a fluster.
It was an about face in her behavior that I've preconceived to be cheerful or what.
And by the way, this girl was bossier than my mom. She had a point though. I checked my bedside clock to show that I was perhaps awake thirty minutes earlier than my usual waking time.
If it wasn't for my wet bedsheets, I might as well suppose that the earlier event was a product of my wet dream-soaked mind that my senses were collaborating to trick me that a girl my age woke me up.
And hey, I haven't even confirmed whether she thought that she was my childhood friend or what. Maybe I've forgotten her from the past? Unlikely. I can't forget people who were even remotely friendly at me. And it's a girl at that. But even the possibility of her being a trespasser didn't even faze me in the least. She felt harmless and well, familiar. Like an old friend that I had in the ups and downs of my 17 years of bittersweet life. Not that I had any. So much for the unbreakable bonds of friendship that could be buried in a hiatus of nonactivity and cold shoulders.
A drop of water trickled down my nose. I almost wished that I had chosen the "Ara, ara" option when I should have. There was no save or load options in sight. The point was moot however.
Another sigh.
Okay, okay.
I got ready for my early morning rituals, with an additional step this time. I made a mental note to lock my door before going to sleep. It really wasn't my habit to do so.
*********
Soap. Shampoo. Slippery suds. A peaceful shower without the the silly shower thoughts of thinking whether a cold hot sauce was still hot or what would happen to poisons when they were past their expiry date.
My mind was however, working at full force to determine the weird phenomenon earlier. Phenomenon. For the lack of a better name or a good naming sense from me, let's go with that.
The choices that appeared in the boundaries of my sleep and waking world earlier may or maybe an illusion. The fact that some girl acted with me with some familiarity could be ruled out as something that really happened. The wet bedsheets were real and my mug was left on the bedside table with no water remaining. Now the question was...
Choices
1.) Hug Chizuru with all of your might the next time you see her.
2.) Go to school naked.
Time stopped literally as these choices floated at the center of my vision.
Is this a punishment game? Whoever was behind this must truly hate me.
The first choice was bad enough but the second one was: "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL HOLY ARE YOU SUGGESTING!!!????".
No fucking way that I would be choosing the second one, that's for sure. The first one was only bearable but still embarassing.
Nothing happened as I mulled everything in a depressing spiral. So perhaps time won't progress if I don't pick a choice? Shit.
Resigning myself and not thinking of the possible consequences, I made my own deathbed.
Let's go with Chizuru again!
The choice bar that I had chosen glowed a dull blue and disappeared.
And just like that everything moved. Like hitting the play button in a funny cat video only that the funny cat this time was me. Ha ha ha ha. Press subscribe and the like button for my sake. Perhaps I should become a Youtuber and create a cash cow from this and live underneath our basement masquerading as a girl online posting cat vids.
An impatient knock on my door interrupted my reverie.
"A-chan! You done yet?"
Is that Chizuru? Can't she be patient? I was being assiduous with my rituals here!
"It's been an hour or so, A-chan so I'm worried that you passed out there or something!"
Soapy suds and water were all around me so I can't really speak out loud because I was afraid that somehow my mouth would exert negative pressure and absorb every trace of water here, resulting in death by drowning. Ugh.
Anyways the door was locked and... I haven't made of locking my doors a habit yet now haven't I?
The light sound of a door being opened and her cheerful voice nearly sent me into having an aneurysm.
"I'm going iiiin!"
Everything in this world was left behind as a hidden warp drive in me activated. Forget about Bolt, about Flash, about Quicksilver. No one is faster when your own chastity is being threatened by a beautiful stranger. My only regrets were having no body cover except a thin, filmy layer of soap that did little to hide my nethers. If anything, I felt like a body wash model who was severely underpaid rushing outside the bathroom after a mortifying photoshoot.
At the speed of light, I got out of my adjoining bathroom and proceeded to lock my own bedroom door.
Which would be nice and all, except that didn't happen.
Chizuru was already inside my room.
I was naked. She was not. Our eyes met.
And a burning desire to hug her came forth.
"Kyaaa!!!!! A-chan no BAKAAAAA!!!!"
She screamed her lungs out in a scandalized horror, possibly because she saw me as a pile of foam with a monstrous glare directed towards her.
She quickly vacated my room and slammed the door, and I helplessly rammed towards it. A dull thud which resonated inside my head and a heavy pain connected with it.
"Ahhh..."
I was rapidly becoming more and more mortified as the events became clear.
What I did was crazy and unforgivable.
It's over. Everything is over. Goodbye cruel world. Shame and self-loathing multiplied inside me like rodents on breeding season. I want to load the game. This is a bad end, right? So send me back. Please.
Even as I muttered these words, the urge to hug Chizuru and feel her delicate body made out of china against me burned brightly inside me. I haven't felt anything like this. No hunger, lust, nor desire to sleep came on as strong as this. Cuddles. Hugs. Embraces. Tender loving care. H U G S. H U G S. H U G S. H U G S!!!!!
I was falling to an abyss as I nearly lost my------
A warm, fluffy feeling wrapped around me like a mother's wholesome love. It took me a while to register it as my own bath towel. But it had an additional warmth and weight behind it, the unmistakeable warmth of a person.
Before I knew it, Chizuru was hugging me through my towel and it felt like forgiveness. Salvation. Atonement. Apotheosis.
The flame that roared inside me overflowed into an inferno and annihilated any remaining sense of self control that I had. I returned her hug with a tenfold sense of gratitude. I was nearly in tears as I beseeched her.
"Chizuru, I'm so sorry for what I did earlier. I swear, it won't happen again."
She patted me through the towel.
"Baka. I just panicked, is all. And besides, I shouldn't have entered your room in the first place. I'm just... worried that you might drown yourself again like last time."
Last time? I don't remember any funny episodes like drowning myself in the bathroom. Or did it occur in an OVA and I wasn't aware that it aired? Everything about me and her didn't match up. For starters, I wasn't A-chan. I had my own name, common as it was. I wanted to know more about my situation, even though nothing about this is comfortable. The desire to hug her was ebbing, but it still remained. My lower half was already responding towards this stimulation and I had to juggle reciting mantras, trivias and equations in my head while asking Chizuru questions.
Calm down, me. The Battle of Lepanto occured in October 8, 1571 and it was a major naval victory against the Ottoman Turks. Juan Luna, my country's favorite revolutionary painter made a rather epic canvas work of it in 1887. Good, I was reaching bodhisattva.
"Chizuru..." I started but she interrupted me.
"Chi-chan. I don't want you to call me by anything other than that, A-chan."
Just by the thought of calling her with that cute nickname made the heat in my body core travel southwards.
Hnng! Pull it together, me! The mythology behind Einstein's E=mc² was far reaching and it did well to skew the layperson's understanding of one of the equations that changed the world. Most people perceived it as the indirect catalyst for the Manhattan Project.
'Now I have become Death, the destroyer of worlds.'
Saying Chi-chan to her face would be the death of me.
"O-oh... I got it. Then, Chi-chan, am I truly your childhood friend? Because the truth is, I don't remember meeting you in the past before."
A pregnant pause.
Then a voice close to tears.
"A-chan, is that another joke of yours? Jeez, haven't I told you not to joke around with stuff like these?"
"Chi-chan, I'm not joking. For starters, who is A-chan? I have a name, you know."
"A-chan is A-chan to me. However others call you as..."
And she whispered my name in my ear which gave shivers to my spine. That's my name alright, but that doesn't prove anything. But perhaps its hopeless to explain. For her perspective perhaps, I was her childhood friend while for me she was a total stranger. Which one of us was correct? Whose perspective was in the wrong?
And she answers me in an unexpected way. "Even A-chan forgets about me, I won't forget about you. I'll make you remember..."
There it was! Another legendary line. "I'll make you remember with my body ♡! Heehoo amnesia and semantic memories!
The urge to hug her was already long gone but it seemed that both of us had no intentions of letting go. To prevent another lucky pervert flag from triggering, I skillfully shuffled my lower body away from her. It was a dilemma though. I can't move away from her for it will expose my shame and she has to let go first. But she wasn't and thus this hug heaven was soon proceeding to a hug purgatory.
And since my eyes were concentrated towards the door, I was the first to see it. The doorknob, like a slow torque in an old device, rotated open.
It was my mother.
" ! Chizuru! Are the two of you ----- "
She was interrupted by the sight that greeted her. Chizuru (I heard mom calling that name, so maybe they knew each other?) was embracing me in an awkward position, not to mention that only my blue bath towel was the only thing covering me.
I felt Chizuru loosening up in a panic and I did so too, trying to right myself and curl down to protect my nakedness. As I did, my crotch came into contact with her body.
It was an instant hug hell.
"KYAAA!" She flinched away from me as the heat from my lower body pooled towards my face. And perhaps that also transferred towards Chizuru as she blushed heavily that she might look like a tomato.
Setting a great distance from me, she fidgeted and looked towards me or my mother. Our eyes met and she finally exploded with:
"IVEGOTTODOSOMETHING!!!!!" and bolted outside my room like a hunted hare.
My dear devil of a mother smiled at me like Mother Teresa. No greetings, and no ara-aras. I knew that smile demanded an explanation.
"Could I at least wear something, Mom?"
She continued smiling. No such luck.
And as I prepared myself to launch a spiel about this morning's weird shenanigan, my stomach rumbled and I vaguely remembered that I haven't ate breakfast yet.
I hoped that it would be eggs and toast for all this trouble.