2 Despair

[Next Memory]

Yuki woke up in the comfort of his bed. He couldn't figure out how much time had passed since he dozed off. He quickly ran to look out his window but couldn't see a single thing. It was night time which meant that he was asleep for over 12 hours. They had arrived early in the morning but now the sky was pitch black. He was amazed that it was possible to sleep for such large amounts of time.

After spending nearly 30 minutes staring at the night sky, he decided to go back to bed.

He tossed and turned in his bed for a couple of minutes before finally concluding that it was near impossible for him to go back to sleep.

"Man, this sucks."

All Yuki wanted to do was get some rest because it was going to be his first day at his new school tomorrow.

With no other choice, he went back to his window to stare at the sky. This time, however, something was different. The dark sky was no longer empty. The clouds were now gone which allowed the stars to become visible. Yuki was mesmerized by the shining stars. He stared at them until it was finally sunrise. While watching the sun emerge from the darkness, he could perceive many different colours. It was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He continued to look at it until his eyes seemed to get heavier. Yuki was struggling to stay awake. He fought the urge to sleep for some time until he eventually gave up.

"Hey, wake up."

"Wake up."

Yuki was startled by his mother's voice.

"Where... am I?"

Yuki hadn't realized that he had passed out on the floor after his star gazing session. He was starting to remember the events that took place that night.

"You have a big day ahead of you."

"You don't wanna be late, do you?"

The calling of his mother made him remember that he needed to get ready for school. Yuki quickly got ready and ran to school. Before entering his new classroom, he took one deep breath and exhaled.

As he passed through his classroom door, he realized that he didn't feel the least bit nervous. He just assumed that it was because he was used to the process already. Introductions took place as expected. Yuki eventually started to blend in with his classmates.

There was nothing special about him. His academic scores were a little higher than the average. Even his physical capabilities were mediocre. He had no interests or hobbies.

Yuki had made some new friends at his new school but missed his old ones very much. Over time, he forgot about them and started accepting his new life. During school, there was always something to do. On the other hand, when he returned home, he was all alone again.

Yuki often daydreamed about how his life would've been if he didn't move to an apartment. He would spend several hours each day doing this as he didn't have anything else to do. When he wasn't daydreaming, he was watching TV.

Nearly six years had passed since Yuki moved into his new apartment with his mother.

Yuki missed his mother all the time but understood that she needed to work. Rin Kaito had found a job at a local coffee shop. Unlike her previous job, she now had to interact with hundreds of people per week. While many were kind, others ruined her day. Even when customers harassed her, she wouldn't do anything as it could very likely make her lose her job.

As a result of her accumulated stress, she started consuming alcohol. Right as she arrived home, she would go to the fridge, take out a beer and get drunk on the couch while watching TV. If Yuki tried to talk to her while she was in this state, she got furious at him, occasionally going as far as hitting him.

As this cycle went on, they grew distant. Rin stopped making food altogether and would leave Yuki with some money to spend on his lunch. Yuki hated his life at home. He was constantly neglected, abused and belittled.

One day, he decided to ask his mother if there was any food because he was hungry.

"Mom is there an-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Rin slapped him and knocked him to the floor. He was confused. Yuki didn't do anything wrong. Why had she hit him?

Tears came from his eyes but nothing from his mouth. He had reached his limit.

"Why did it have to be me?"

"What did I even do?"

He was having a mental breakdown. A multitude of emotions engulfed Yuki's heart. Those being: hate, fear, anger, and disgust.

Yuki wanted to fight back but knew it was hopeless. If he tried doing anything, his mother would just hit him more. He concluded that it would be best to give up. Yuki was in a state of despair. He found no worth in his own life, causing him to become numb.

Yuki no longer cried. He made himself believe that he deserved the pain and that he had no right to complain.

When he went to school, he put up a fake persona so that his friends wouldn't get worried. His face was full of smiles at school. There was no possible way to find out how Yuki felt.

When he arrived at home, he would relax and lock himself in his room. He played games most of the time or watched Tv. However, before he did anything he enjoyed, he made sure to finish his chores to avoid confrontation with his mother. He had become accustomed to this schedule.

The school year was finally over. He had just finished being a 7th grader. Yuki didn't hate school in the least, though he preferred staying in his room all day. Yuki planned to spend every day of his summer-break locked up in his room.

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