cecemagic_sempai
I'm still classified as an ******* writer. But I will give my honest assessment. This assessment is based on the first 5 chapters. First: There are already few clues as to who the MC is but it's still not clear where the MC is. Need a little extra explanation about the world he is in, at least where he is in the current environment. The first 5 chapters still make me wonder, where this MC is located. Second: Even after 5 chapters, there are still too many filling paragraphs. The first 2 chapters are still fine, those 2 chapters are usually used to explain the world he is in. However this is an online novel, the reader can move as easily as turning the palm of the hand. Therefore the initial chapter is very important to provide stimulation for the reader. Third: It is still unclear in the future what Mc wants to be. What is the purpose? what is the end? At the very least give a few pointers as to what must be achieved by the MC. There is indeed a hint of prophecy, but it is still blurry. fourth: in my opinion, the synopsis is too simple. Much better if you make a little extra explanation. Where will this story go? what is found at the end of the story. There is nothing wrong if give a little spoiler about this story. At the very least it can tempt the reader to get started. These are all honest from my point of view. After sharing here and there with some of my fellow writers. Read a little bit of literature, read stories, read people's comments on famous novels etc. My grammar is not good, hope you can understand what I said.
Well, this book is pretty interesting. I quite like the world you're building here, and am fascinated on where you're going to take the story. My only real qualm is how you word your sentences, but it's pretty negligible, so it's alright in my book. Overall, a good read, one you should check out if you're running low on things to read
Hey sempai, its me. I would like to apologies that I am sorry that I read only 5 chapters. Yes that is bad but due to the lack of time and most of excruciating of all, my slow reading. Ok on with the actual review. Let us start with the beginning. The story picks up with our MC Yilas (which I presumed to be our Female Lead). The start was... kinda confusing but I got the hang of it in later chapters. The world building is what I am more intrigued about. It features anthropomorphic characters and no I will not call them Furries because they are two different things if your one of my meme friends. (F*** you, Jerry, you ruined zootopia!). The "magic-system" which I like to call or energy cultivation if you want to stay true to the storyline. Is fascinating. It feels like Harry Potter/ Berry Hooters. It has also the chosen one genre which is quite typical for any writer to start. I still need to read MOAR! In terms of writing quality, it could used a bit of polishing here and there. But overall, still solid. At least for the most part. As for character design well its good and sempai, bruh. You describing how hot Viosus is more akin to me describing how beautiful saint Celestine. (Which she is, Jerry!) Anyway, all in all good book series but it still needs more development. P.S. sorry about giving you a 4.4.
The beginning was tragic, and I found myself immersed by such good start. As the chapters progressed it gets lighter, even comical. I do notice some grammatical issues (tenses and punctuation) so I advice the author to proofread. It’s a promising read, especially to those who likes the genre. Keep up the good work.
While the beginning was tragic, the story rolls into a more light-hearted and comedic tone with hints of more serious plots looming ahead. While full of sweet and heart-throbbing moments, I do feel like the story and the characters can use a bit more maturity. The writer should be a bit warier of frequent grammar errors like tense-switching. Despite the mistakes, the story is still overall easy to read. Keep up the good work, Author!