14 Destroyed Me

I was going through a hard time

With depression and was getting

Close on ending my own life.

Until you sent me that message.

That one message that stopped me

From overdosing on those pills.

I had already given up on everything.

On finding someone that truly cared.

That would treat me with respect.

And would show me the meaning of life.

When we first met, I thought I had found

The one that I would be spending the rest

Of my life with.

And I never felt that happy before.

I smiled for the first time in forever.

A real and genurine smile.

That you placed on my face.

My heart races every single time that I see you.

When you send me a text message.

I start giggling like a child.

Because I never had a guy treat me

Like the way you have treated me.

You've made me feel so good about myself.

I started to think that I was finally good enough.

That I was beautiful, atleast to you.

I thought that you were the right guy for me.

But man, how wrong was I.

You've finally shown your true colors.

And you're not the same guy I fell in love with.

You're a monster in my eyes and I never

Felt this scared of a person before.

I trusted you.....and now I can never trust you again.

You hurt me mentally and physically.

Controlled everything that I've said and done.

Even though you blamed me for your actions.

Making me feel worse about myself and think

That what has happened is my fault.

You really don't know how much pain

That you've caused me.

I don't hate you.

I will never hate you.

But I am so angry.

Because you knew my history.

And decided to take advantage of me anyways.

I am so hurt.

Because you've made me so happy.

Made me feel so good about myself.

And you took that away from me.

I am scared...

Because you knew that every guy has hurt me.

And you promised you wouldn't be like them.

You lied straight to my face and did way worse then they have ever done to me.

I know that this is all of my fault.

That I am a worthless piece of shit

Like you told me.

When I was crying and screaming for you to stop.

You laughed at me.

Every time I tried to leave.

You've held me down on the bed.

With your hands around my neck.

So that I couldn't run off.

How is that loving me?

If you've truly loved me.

This would of never happened.

You would of never hurt me like the way you did.

You've destroyed me and I know that you are happy.