3 Hey, i'm back!

It came to be around a year and half possibly and I decided to quit amino because for some odd reason I was constantly having anxiety and panic attacks, I didn't particularly want to be speaking to people when I wasn't stable for myself. Due to this, I took about a year off where I didn't chat to anybody that much online and ignored it. One day I was skeptical of the amino but decided to refrain myself from downloading it again. That very day I was on Instagram checking up on things, and I found her… Taneesha. I found her! In a quick hesitant state, my fingers typed as fast as they could "Taneesha, is it you? Its me, Taylor. I'm back… I'm so sorry for leaving for a year and ill never leave you alone I promise, I don't know what was wrong with me I just had to get away for a while. I've missed you so fucking much…" my panic attack grew so much I could barely breathe. After some time, I noticed a reply from somebody and it was her. I couldn't breathe, I felt… stuck. After so long I couldn't believe how quick she could forgive me, I had been gone for a year and she just came to me saying its okay and she missed me so much as well? She was a very forgiving woman. I shouldn't have expected anything less from her. She was Taneesha after all. Gaining reassurance from her is what I needed, she told me that everything will be alright from now on and that she's there for me if I'm ever in need for someone to vent too or cry over her virtual shoulder, she was there when others were not.

We had a good chat while we caught up on everything and so much had changed this past year. We became more mature, our interests changed, the way we acted towards things too. I guess that was just the way of becoming older, I remember us only being 13 years old but still acting like kids with the care of a parent. At some point we showed our faces! She had long dark hair, fare tan skin and the glistening brown eyes reminded me of the warm feeling you get when you walk into an old house you once owned or a relative did. The warmth of her aura was so very welcoming, maybe that's why I stayed. An incredibly gorgeous girl with such a vibrant personality, yet with all this explaining I do about her, it sounds like I was in love. During this time, I will admit too questioning my sexuality, then again, I was only 13 so I didn't think much of it if I had a small crush on a girl I met online. I know everybody told me when I was young to watch out for strangers, don't talk to anyone you don't know. Especially online. I was just so drawn to her I couldn't help it, I didn't know if I was liking her or I wanted to be her friend for as long as possible, physically. Where we could chat and slap our knees from the genuine laughter we shared. Although I could never forgive myself for leaving without any notice to her, Taneesha would never fail to make it less daunting for me. She could reassure me on anything and afterwards I'd be perfectly fine. Its weird how things like that worked…

Still after all of this, I had never heard her voice still. We sent photo messages but never videoed ones with our actual voice, so I decided 'hey! Lets see how we both interact in everyday life.' When I sent the voice message I seemed to stutter, I didn't know what to expect back. Her voice message came through after mine and you could imagine her voice by looking and talking to her, that was it. I must've been real anxious due to my stutter, hope she didn't find me too weird or anything I thought. After coming back to all of this, I knew she was the one. She was the person I've been looking for, that friend I can call up any time without a worry of being judged. I can tell her anything from how my day went to why I cried that day. Nothing stopped us from becoming closer and closer every day, and there was a point where I couldn't live without her. Taneesha and I shared a special bond with each other that I didn't have with anyone else, I don't even think we've ever had a proper fight. She's become apart of me so quick and I can never go back. Even if I had the chance too, id refuse. Taneesha was extremely important to me now and i could never forget her.

Since i came back, we have exchanged faces, videos, and so much more. the laughing was unbearable. I remember there was the day we shared phone numbers and we chatted while i walked to and from school, admiring every minute on that phone call. Some days we arranged ideas on how we should meet up in real life! The only problem was living 17+ hours apart...

No matter how far away i was from her, each time we talked was enough to satisfy me even if i couldn't see her.

And for the most part... i was just glad to be back.