Nii07
The story and plot is good but you are trying too hard to write the words. The grammar becomes bad because you are trying to make some english shenanigans. You should've make it simple and make the words have an easier flow and easier to read.The system's words also suck because it's capital letters. "Hey system", silver called. [Bla Bla Bla] Should've make it look like this so it would look nicer. 5 star for everything except for writing style with 1 star
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Very nice. The story is engaging and easy to read. There is only one problem I have and it's that 70% of the book are skill explanations and entity appraisals. The story itself is very detailed, maybe due to the thing I have a problem with, and it's kind of confusing when there are like 5 types of immortality - although I think this is more of 'my brain problem' than with a story.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.