15. at School

I was walking back to my dorm when he yelled at me. "Hunter! What the hell are you talking about!?" He grabbed my hand making me flinch "what happened to you?" He said letting me go.

I looked into his eyes "nothing. I'm ok. I am just not gay anymore. I uh I like women now. So I'm happy for you Oliver. You are still my friend and my brother so if you are happy then so am I. But I never told your dad I didn't want to be with you." I look down at the ground and start walking away.

"Um wait uh since we are just brothers now do you want to hang out? You can meet her if you want to? I just miss seeing you."

It felt like a knife to my heart hearing him say that even when we were just friends I also hated upsetting him. "I don't know about that. I um i mean i obviously want to meet your fiancee just i dont know about now. I mean have you even told her about me?"

He laughed "i mean she knows i have a step brother and she has met Liv but no i haven't told her about us if that's what you mean." He moved my strand of hair back. I lean my face against his hand then quickly pull away.

"Oliver I don't think we should spend time together. I mean I want to meet her and see your apartment but i don't know if we can really be friends." I knew that I was straight now being attracted to girls but i didn't want the reminder of my past feelings. I didn't want to love him again especially now. He was happy and engaged and I wanted him to be happy always.

"Hunter please. I uh- you're my- I mean- you are my best friend always and I have already had to live without you for almost a year now and I can't handle it anymore. You can hate me you can scream at me every day but please I need to be able to see you. If you are into girls then I'm happy for you but I still care about you. If I can only care about you as a friend then that's fine but I have to be able to so atleast that. Please." He looked close to tears and I felt bad for leaving him. I should have just told my parents that I would be with someone else i shouldn't have let them take me. No matter what happened i cared about him too.

"Ok. I might yell at you some days though." I stay staring into his eyes.

He smiled and hugged me making me flinch. "I'm sorry. I won't touch you." He quickly pulls away from me biting his lip.

"No it's just- I'm sorry I uh- I just haven't been touched at all lately and I- i dont know. I'm sorry." I stare at the ground.

I see his finger come up then he stops himself and says "hey look at me" I do looking into his eyes "don't ever apologize to me. I won't touch you unless you tell me I can. Hunter I don't know what happened to you but I'm sorry. I should have been there for you." I could see his brow furrow.

I shake my head. "You couldn't have done anything to stop it Oliver. I um- I would love to meet your fiancee. I would love to see your apartment." I really did not want to meet her but I mean if she made him happy then I would have to accept it.

"Ok she should be home pretty soon so if you want to come then let's go." I looked for hi car then saw him getting into a huge F150 truck so I followed him sitting in the passenger seat.

"This is nice. When did you get it?" I say carefully putting my bag on the floor between my legs.

"Um just recently actually. At the end of the school year last year." He just stares at me.

"I uh- I thought we were going?" I say looking away from him.

"Uh yeah sorry." He starts driving.

"Oliver are you happy?"

He didn't answer for a minute and waited until he stopped "yeah Hunter as happy as I can be without you. I don't know what to tell you. I mean I will always care about you."

Tears starting forming in my eyes. "I'm sorry Oli but I'm not attracted to you like that anymore. I thought you just wanted to be friends. I can't be anything more then that with you. I just want you to be happy."

He scoffed and I saw a tear come out of his eye "then yeah Hunter I am happy. There are definitely things I want, but with the situation as it Is, yes i am as happy as i can be. I like her a lot, Jessica is amazing, she is the best for a woman." He reaches for the door.

"You could be with a man you know if it would make you happier." I say grabbing his hand.

He laughed and looked at me with tears on his face "I already told you the only man I want to be with is you. Maybe you are right maybe we can't be friends. I don't know if I can be around you." He said as tears kept coming out of his eyes.

I pulled away from him nodding and getting out. Just as I was about to start walking back to my dorm a girl came up and said "hi I'm Jessica, you are?"

I almost couldn't talk. I don't know if I could lie to myself and say I didn't still have feelings for him but seeing this beautiful girl who was his best shot at being happy I just had to buck up and say "I'm Hunter, his uh- brother."