My Friend Eri

Emotions... They are human aesthetics that even other animals have. Emotions can be felt by humans depending on events. Happiness can be felt when something good has happened. For example, it is a mother giving birth to a child. Sadness, the feeling of sorrow, can be felt whenever something bad happens, for example, losing a loved one or a friend. But I on the other hand, can only feel them in a certain event by being with a certain person.

------

When I was a child, my uncle gifted me chicks as a gift. There were 6 of them inside a red cage with dividers separating them from each other. I remember how they look vividly. There are 5 yellow chicks and the other 1 has black spots on it. Uncle said its pigmentation. My uncle is caused by some changes in its DNA.

I remember each day I would always play with them after class. I used to put them in my head and hands as I walked or strolled on my bike. I even named them one by one. Mustard, Orange, Cleo, Heart, Ronn, and the one with the black spots. I named it Eri.

The 6 of them were supposed to be 3 months old that December, but I saw Orange in the kitchen sink, mutilated as if a monster had attacked it in cold blood. Weeks after that, Mustard and Cleo were also dead and their bodies were lying on the front door. I tried to ask Mom and Dad what happened, but they also have no idea what happened to the 3 chicks. But every after those incidents, I would see Eri covered in blood and the day after those incidents Eri would puke out of nowhere even if we hadn't, fed them yet. One night in January, I was finding the 3 outside because dad said they might catch a cold because of the snow storm. That's when I saw Ronn on top of Cleo's body.

All of my suspicions of Eri were cleared that day, and I came to the conclusion that other animals in the neighborhood were the ones who were responsible for murdering the other chicks. After that, I decided to make a cage where there is enough space for the two to roam and play freely.

Later that midnight, I went down to drink some water and take a leak when I caught Eri red-handedly. Eri mutilated Ronn cold bloodedly in front of my very eyes. For the first time in my life, I felt the emotion that they called "sadness". My veins are in lava as my tears run down from my eyes as I pick up and wash Eri to clean Ronn's blood on his feathers.

After that night, I played with Eri whenever I had free time. I always place Eri besides me every night before I go to sleep. The two of us played and talked with each other as if we were connected by some sort. But months later, Eri is bitten to death by a neighbor's dog. I felt sad again after that day. My mother bought another one for me, but I can't feel anything towards that chick, it's as if it's just some random stuff on the floor.

------

"Our Zale, has become a big boy, eh." Mother said with joy in her eyes as she combed my hair and prepared my snacks for school.

"Double time Zale, you'll be late for school kid." Father said as he lit up his cigarette and opened the door of the car while carrying my stuff in his left hand.

"Father..." I said while staring blankly at the window of the car with kids outside playing and some were walking to attend school.

"Yes son?" Father said with a curious expression on his face as he continued driving and still holding his cigarette in his left hand.

"How do I make friends?"

"Just be yourself son, It's better to make friends with your dull, expression rather than pretending to be someone. Having friends who can accept who you are is a lifetime treasure, do you think so?" He said with a big smile on his face while blowing smoke outside of the window with his mouth.

I that I had been wondering what friends are for a while, since that day mom told me that it would be fun and happier if I have friends who I can share happy and sad times with, friends who can reciprocate my efforts and energy. But I just can, seem to have that kind of affection or connection others. They all look like random stuff in this, perspective of mine, so how?

------

A year after I moved up from 5th grade to 6th grade, my mother got into an accident after she sent me off to school. That day is one of the biggest turning points of my life. After that very day, the father that used to care for us and always makes an effort to comfort or make us happy suddenly becomes a miserable drunkard who always vents his anger about hurting me whenever he is under the influence of alcohol.

"You ungrateful brat! You didn't even cry or flinch when your mother died, eh?" Full with rage and sorrow, he beat my whole body with punches and a belt. The guy wouldn't stop until I faint I somehow bleed. "You devil, you didn't even cry when you came out of your mother's womb!" He said with his veins in lava.

My father's beating went on until I graduated from elementary. The last time was when I turned 11. It was summer and all of the beating that he gave me caused my body to be covered in bruises and scars, but I can't remember even a single time of me feeling mad or sad about what he did, how strange it is.

One day in summer, my father was out drinking again and I saw some gasoline near the car. (An idea came to mind. I put the gasoline all over the house and I opened the gasoline tank for counter measurement. After that, I left the house and hid under the bridge that is quite near our place.)

A few hours later, father came home with the girl he had been bringing to our house for a while now. If I remember it right, that same woman also punched me in the gut twice. "I guess it's killing two birds with one stone, eh?". Everything goes as planned cigarette my father lit up a cigarette and it caused the house to explode and be engulfed in fire.

Half an hour later, an ambulance and fire trucks arrived at our place to kill the fire. One member of the medic team approached me and comforted me. "Oi, Eri, can you see this from up there?" I smile delightfully as the medic smiled me alone. "So this is how it feels like to be happy, eh? What a blissful feeling! But, why am I crying at the same time?".

------

A few weeks after that, our district chief sent me to an orphanage where several orphans like me are staying. "To be honest, I was expecting to be at an asylum rather than an orphanage, but this is better than that, so it's still a win, I guess."

Years after that, I blended in with the other orphans in their. I learned how to smile and laugh even though it doesn't mean anything at all.

"Zale, this is your new friend and family. Her name is Eri. Say hi to her." The nun at the orphanage said with one bliss of a smile as she introduced the new girl to me.

The girl then warmly smiles at me and greets me with a hug. My chest and face suddenly heat up and the familiar feeling when I am still with mother and Eri is coming right back at me. I guess this is happiness, eh?"

The night after that, I was awfully active and drew a picture of Eri and even created some cards. "Zale, aren't you going to bed? It's awfully late at night brat!" Said Ash, the eldest boy in the orphanage. He's been taking care of us since the very beginning. The others treat him like an older person because of that.

"I'm just gonna finish this last one. Don't worry, I'll do half of your chores tomorrow." I said, while yawning and covering my mouth with my left hand.

"Just what are you doing you brat, anyways turn off the lights will you!" He then throws his sausage pillow in my face.

"Yeah, it'll be nice to activate my night vision while working in the dark anyway." I said sarcastically while continuing coloring the portrait of Eri that I made.

------

The other day, I saw Eri alone in the garden watering plants while also talking with them.

"Hey, Eri!" I ran in her direction while carrying the portrait that I made all night. I put it down as I catch my breath.

"Did you draw this?" She said with curiosity in her eyes as she removed her gardening gloves and held the portrait with both hands.

"Yes! Why?" I said with excitement. I looked into the mirror near where we were standing and to my surprise, I saw myself genuinely smiling.

"You clearly don't know how to draw, do you?" She said while she lifted her right eyebrow and looking at the portrait she had at hand. "Well, I still appreciate it anyway, in the thought that counts anyway! Thank you!"

------

The night after that, I created a portrait again and gifted it to her the other day and I still get the same response the same as the first time. "Your drawing sucks!"

Her words have been engraved on my brain that I continue to bug her everyday just to ask for approval, until one day...

"If you want your drawing to improve, you should use anatomy and use shapes as the base of the nose, the eyes, hands and the ears." She touched my hand as she teaches me how to draw properly. "Do you get the gist of it now?"

"Yes, o-of course, I do!" Even though I didn't really understand even a single sentence that she said because I was so drowned at the moment that I didn't realize that I was smiling whole heartedly the whole time.

------

After lunch, I was on my way to show Eri my new drawing when Ash and the other older kids pinned me to the wall. "The fuck do you think you are doing, you bastards?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, there, but Ash covered my mouth so that none of the nuns would here or notice us.

"You like Eri, don't you?" One of the older kids said, teasing me while all of them were maliciously laughing because of that thought.

"How the hell did you guys even come to that conclusion?" I said while forcing my way out, but they're just much stronger than me.

"Oh, come on, it's pretty obvious it's the first time for years that we saw you laughing and smiling like that, you brat!"

"So what, huh?!"

"We we're right after all then-"

"What do you think you are doing, you brats?!" Sister Camelia menacingly, and the older kids made a run for it.

"We will be rooting for you anyway! Good luck on that you brat!"

------

Months after that, I and Eri become best of friends, to the point that we share even our deepest, darkest of secrets and just casually laugh at them. It is the first time in my whole life to feel complete and genuinely happy being together with someone. "I just wish these moments would last forever!"

It was Eri's 18th birthday and it would be her last two months in the orphanage and I was on my way to her room to ask her to go out with me.

I waited for her to come home from school that day. On that day, the longest 5 seconds in my life happened. Minutes and minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months. I was going to ask sister Camille why Eri was still not going home, when I heard the news about a girl at our age murdered on the way home.

"It must be a coincidence that we are at the same age and same school." My tears suddenly fell down my face when they said the name of the girl on the news.

My world suddenly collapsed as the news of Eri's murder case entered my ears. I fell down on my knees as tears came down my eyes.

------

My last two months in the orphanage was all sorrow and grief as I mourned Eri's death, the death of the only girl I've ever loved.

"Maybe he still feels very sad about the passing of Eri. They are the best of friends after all. What if we let Zale stay here for a few months?" I overheard the nuns saying those while I was entering the chapel.

"I can manage it sister, I promise!" I bowed my head down as I say my last goodbyes to the people who treated me like a family and cared for me this whole time.

I packed all my stuff later that night and said my last goodbye to the kids and friends I made at that orphanage.

"I hope to see you lot again!" I waved at them and my foot touched the grass outside the gate of the orphanage. All the memories I made at the orphanage flashed back to me and suddenly a tear drop fell onto my cheek. "I'm crying?" I said out loud out of confusion and shock.

------

10 years later, I graduated college and became a comic artist from, I haven't hit it big yet, but I can somehow feel that I'm going to make it this year.

"Damn it, I barely have any money to buy food!" I shouted to myself as I smashed my wallet to the ground as I stepped on it.

"Here have one mister! Have one!" A kid then gave me some of his food.

"Do I look that pitiful for a kid to lend me some of his food?"

"Mister say, what do you do for a living? Because you look like an unemployed bum." The kid said with an innocent smile on his face.

"Where did you even learn that language, you brat?"

"Oh, my mum said my uncle is an unemployed bum so... Mum told me that I will never become like an uncle because I would be a deadweight to our family."

"What kind of an adult talks like that to kids?" I didn't realize it but the kid and I are already in our apartment while we continue talking. "WAAAHHH! Get out you punk! People might think I kidnapped you or something!" I carried the kid outside and locked the door on him.

"But, mister, I don't know the way home and I don't know anyone except my mom, I sister, I also don't know how I can contact her and also my dad is dead. Dad told me not to talk to strangers, but we already shared food and his death, so I guess we can ignore that already!" The brat said while slamming on my door.

"Ugh! You're a handful, eh? By the way, what's your name?"

"I don't really know what my name is! My mom always called me he bastard or a brat!" he said proudly while sitting in front of the television.

"Wow, your mother is the best one on earth, isn't she?" I said sarcastically and a straight face, while sitting beside the brat.

"Well, my mom always beats me up and I also overheard something on the phone yesterday, she said on the guy on the phone that she would be leaving me, so the two of them will have more time together. I. eavesdrop on them. Am I a bad person now?" The boy said with a shivering tone, as if he was in the wrong in that situation. 

 "If that is what happened, then...I guess you could stay here for a while." I said while lending my clothes to the kid. While removing his clothes, a lot of bruises were visible on his little body. My veins are in lava just imagining how cruel and evil his mother could be.

 Right after giving the kid... Eri a bath, because that is his name according to his memories. I decided to take care of him for a while, before I delivered him to an orphanage. 

 Hours after, him just bluntly and awkwardly staring at me while I was sketching some new draft, the kid fell asleep on my lap while snoring like a pig. "You got tired after seeing my lousy drawing, eh? I wouldn't even want to watch myself drawing animals in a comic entry for a big publishing company. I mean who does that? It's supposed to be a flamboyant or flabbergasting type of art but-"

 "No misery, your animal drawings are cute, I think you will win this competition." He said while talking about his dreams and snoring. 

 "Well, I guess I got myself a fan huh?!" I said to myself proudly while carrying the kid to the bed and covering him with a blanket. 

 After a few hours of sketching, I decided to lay down by his side and he suddenly hugged me while smiling. But, anyways, I didn't manage to get any sleep because of him snoring like an adult male. 

----

The day after, Eri grew up and greeted me good morning and he sat beside me while I was preparing food. 

 "Mister? What is this?" The kid asked with a curious look on his face. 

 "They're called meatballs. I'm on a budget so I can't feed you delicious foods for now." I said with a straight face while he food was sitting on my lap and helping me prepare the meals. He isn't really playing, he's just playing with it. 

 "Well it's fine, if it's from Mister I am sure it will be tasty, right?" He said with a bright smile on his face as if he was saying he fully trusted my skills in cooking. 

 Oh boy, me and my cooking are about to ruin this boy's day. 

 After half an hour, we started eating and, surprisingly, he really improve it and continues to eat it wholeheartedly. "D-did my cooking skills really improve?" I whispered and laughed to myself, looking like a fool as Eri saw me. 

 "Mister, did something good happen? My dad said people laugh when something funny or good happens to them!" He said with an innocent look on his face. 

 "Yes, there really is good news, we are going to the mall to buy you some clothes!" I said with a bright smile on my face. 

 After a while, we headed for the subway and bought tickets to go to a mall near my place. 

 "But, mister, you said, you're on a budget, right? I don't really need new clothes, I am comfortable with your clothes even though they're too baggy!" He said with an excited expression on his face. 

 You liar, it's written all over your face that you want new clothes. "The truth is I don't really know how to cook, so... yeah, we will eat those kinds of things for breakfast." I said while I was looking at my phone and holding his hands. 

 "Liar!" He whispered and I pretended I didn't hear a thing. 

 ---

A few minutes later, we arrived at the mall and Eri fitted clothes that he finds amazing and I surprisingly am happy to pay for those even though I know that we will probably eat canned goods for tonight if I bought him all of that. 

 "Mister, this is all I want!" Eri said with a big smile while showing me a single piece of clothing. 

 "Huh? How about the others? Don't you want them too?" I said with a confused expression on my face. 

 I was genuinely confused and he secretly put a letter on the clothing as if he was implanting some drugs on it and telling me not to tell anyone. "I know that we will probably eat canned foods if I grab all of those. I am fine with this one, I promise!" The letter ends with a smiley face. I didn't know what to feel at that moment. Will I be touched or pissed with Eri?

 After I paid for the clothing, I suddenly felt some small arms circling around my waist. "Thank you mister! You are the second person I love the most in this world! Only next to my father that is!" He said with a genuine bright smile on his face while hugging me tightly. 

 My heart felt touched and moved again for the first time in 10 years. It was as if Eri and Eri are there with me and we are sitting alongside each other while talking about the future. 

 "Yeah sure!" I smiled and rubbed his hair. 

 ---

"Hey Eri, what food do you want for dinner?" I asked while we crossed the street and holding his hand. 

 He then pointed at some street foods while his face food was bright red as if he was so amazed at the view he was seeing. So... we decided to eat those for our dinner and had some soda as a drink. "You do know this is unhealthy, right?" I said proudly, as an adult. 

 "Eh? Unhealthy things are more enjoyable than healthy ones though?" He said with a smug smile on his face as if he was so proud of what he said. 

 "Yeah, I guess that's right. But even so, you can't always do this kind of stuff!" I scolded him as if he was my own child. 

 "I'll be sure to keep that in mind," He said sarcastically, and continued to devour the whole barbeque in his hand. 

 After a while, we got home and the two of us went straight to bed without even thinking about washing ourselves after a long day of strolling in the mall. 

---

 It was a bright sunny day in one of the gardens of the orphanage and all I saw there was a girl in white dress drawing on a canvas. I thought the girl was familiar, so I approached her. Tears dropped from my eyes as I saw Eri with my pet Eri on her shoulders. I ran into her and hugged her as tight as I could possibly do. 

"Hey! I know that you missed me. But don't squeeze me that hard you idiot!" She said while she hugged me bake and laughs. 

 "Nothing changed?" I said and let go of her. 

 "Yeah! Nothing changed! You're still that childish idiot who always does ridiculous things. Why did you become a comic artist when you suck at drawing?!" She said while laughing and smacking my shoulders. 

 "Well, I thought I would make the funniest and most artistic comic and show it to you in the afterlife when we meet again." I said, with a big smile on my face. 

 "Well, I would still accept you even if you didn't! Just always remember that me and your little body right here will always get your back, even though we are not around anymore. But seeing you happy now with that kid, I think you are ready to make a new title!" She said while smiling and petting Eri in her hands. 

 "Yeah, I guess I'll look after the kid and, you know, raise him and live a happy life?" 

 "How about your dream of becoming a great comic artist?" She laughed and looked me in the eyes. 

 "Meh. Eri can draw better than me, so I'll just watch him grow up and, yeah, we will be happy ever after, I guess?" 

 "You sound like a delusional 8-year-old girl right now!" She said while laughing and tears were coming out of her eyes. 

 "Well, even though this will probably the last time I meet you or worse be I won't even remember this dream. I just want to thank you for everything and thank you for loving and accepting me!" Tears roll down my eyes as Eri hugs me and ends the most beautiful dream I ever saw. 

---

The next day. I left Eri with the other kids at the kindergarten near my house to play with other kids as I went on some errand. 

 In the afternoon, I tried my best to find and contact Eri's mother and managed to get in touch with her and get his full consent to adopt Eri. 

 After months of processing, I successfully became Eri's adopted father. I was so excited to tell him the news but it turns out he beat me to it. 

 "Like come on, I can hear you every night talking with people about my adoption on the phone. So... yeah! Surprise!" He said with a smug look on his face. 

 "I hate you already you little shit!" I said with a pissed expression on my face. 

 ---

 After a year, Eri successfully got into a school for kids his age. At first, he is having trouble getting along with the other kids and he always rants that he doesn't want to go back there. 

 "You just need to talk to them. Just say hi and you'll get yourself a friend." I said with a straight face while he was tearing while doing his assignment. 

 "Liar! You don't even have friends! What could you possibly know?!" He said, so pissed that he slammed the book on the ground. 

 After a few months, the kid got himself some friends and he also discovered his talent for drawing and bugged me every day to teach him how to draw comics. 

 Our days are filled with those things repeatedly. He will rant about school but the little shit will also tell how wonderful it is. Talk about duality. 

 --- 

 After a few years, he is now in 5th grade and on top of his class. 

 "I wish I was that talented at that age back then. Maybe if I was, I would have a lot of friends my age and my mother wouldn't..." 

 "Mister, I got myself into trouble!" The kid said with a bright smile on his face. 

 "Out of every human being on this planet who gets in trouble, you're the most exciting one! What did you do this time?" I said with a curious expression on my face. 

 "Well, I accidentally signed myself up for a competition against other schools! So, you gotta prepare a feast, because I'll definitely devour it!" He boasted as if he was so sure of his skills that he would win that one. 

 "Yeah! Yeah! What kind of food do you want, you little narcissist?" I asked sarcastically. 

 "Maybe a cake! Yeah, the cake is fine and on top of it, it will say: The best artist in the world!" He said with a bright smile on his face. 

 I laughed about how ridiculous his idea was, but I was sure that this kid would definitely win that one. So I prepared myself and my wallet for the most expensive cake available in the nearest bakery in town. 

 "We will definitely have a feast! Invite your friends. I will host a party just for you!" I said with a big smile while holding my beard. 

 "Really, old man? It is on then!" He touches my hand with bliss and a spark in his eyes. 

---

The day of the contest had arrived and I was on my way home from the grocery after I bought all of the ingredients for the feast he wanted. As I crossed the street, the brat sent me photos of him biting the gold medal and a trophy, which made me distracted for a while and I nearly got bumped by a car. 

 "Look out, will you! You jerk!" Said the woman in the car as he drove away furiously as if she was going to be late for an important appointment. 

 "I'm so sorry apologized!" I apologized and continued to walk down the street. 

 But suddenly a bright light lightened up the night on the busy streets of downtown. I was walking and suddenly a lot of people were surrounding me as I lay on the ground after the truck ravaged my body. 

 "No! No! Eri! Eri is waiting for me! My son, I still have to prepare a small feast for him and his friend! This is a big day for him. I need to get up!" 

 Who am I kidding? I am at the death door now. Ugh! I wish I had more time. Life flashed before my eyes as I felt someone was carrying me to a cushion. I am aware that I won't last that long. 

 Well, my life has been a blast for the past six years and I have no regrets whatsoever. I am glad I saved enough money for that brat in case some emergency like this happens. 

 I saw a lady in all white resembling my mother's together with Eri and Eri reaching out for my hand. I still wanted to see Eri becoming successful, but hey, I don't have time for that, don't I? 

 I finally grabbed the hand of the lady that looked like my mother and everything faded into black. "I wish I could say my last words. But I wonder what it could be? I guess I'll be leaving that brat Eri with a cliffhanger, eh?" 

 ---

 A month later Eri is in the rain while standing at the last destination of his adopted father. 

 "I have a lot of things to say to you, old man. But I guess that's for when we meet again." Eri left the trophy and medal in Zale Sanchez's grave. 

 Eri finally walks away chin up and thinking about the good memories and last moments he and Zale share just to brighten the dark storm inside his chest. 

 "I'll definitely draw that piece, even if it takes me years or even decades. I will make you proud even in the afterlife Dad! I will make sure that my masterpiece will reach the heavens and you will bear witness to it." Eri said with a bright smile on his face while looking up at the sky as the rain ended and a bright beautiful rainbow emerged. 

 ---

 A few decades later. At a famous museum in Paris. 

 "So this art is made by Eri Sanchez? The prodigy equal to the renaissance artists?" A man in a coat said as they stared at a masterpiece made by Eri Sanchez. 

 The canvas of a masterpiece depicts a man in a jersey being haggard as hell and in complete disarray with the same art style as an artwork from the renaissance. On the lower left of the canvas there is a quote that says "No matter how imperfect you are, there is still someone who is glad you existed!" 

 "Do you also know there is a rumor going around that there is a long sweet dedication message on the back of the painting dedicated to the man in the painting?" Said a woman who is dressed elegantly who was holding the man in a coat at his elbow. 

 "Really?" 

 "Yeah! The curator even leaked it! Too bad you can't really read it directly, because before the artist died, he said in his will that the painting is not for sale. So yeah... it is what it is."

 --- 

 "Woah is dad also a poet?" A young man picked up a letter written on a crumpled paper and read it out loud in his room. "I'll just use this for my recital tomorrow! You really are amazing Dad!" He said with a bright smile on his face. 

 "A lot of people message their loved ones, depicting and describing how good they are or how amazing a person's quality is. But I don't care about that trope. I am about to drop you this unfiltered message, so get your eyes ready. I was really blessed and pissed the first time I met you, because I can't believe that there is a 30-year-old man who acts that childish around a kid. But still you treated me so warmly, warmer than the pollution that humanity caused, so yeah, I thank you for that. To be honest with you, old man, I didn't feel love towards you even until now that you are gone. I just feel a blissful feeling called... Happiness when you are around. Yeah, that happiness that I feel is more than what dumb teenagers call love. I feel happy whenever you do great at your sketching and career. I also feel happy when we cook food together and, to be honest, it doesn't taste good even one bit. But I love seeing you happy, so I guess that compensates for it. I am also happy when you lie to me just because we have a small inconvenience. Wanna know why? You're so bad at lying that even if I was a kid I could see through it. I am also at my happiest when you teach me how to draw for the first time. Remembering your smile that day still fascinates me. And just so you know, I love you more than anyone else. I am glad that you are the one that I met that day. Thank you for existing. Thank you that for everything. I love everything about you, just so you know. I love how imperfect you are!" 

-FIN-