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Reviews of my dream game

altalt

my dream game

TheNoOne

  • Overall Rate
  • Writing Quality
  • Updating Stability
  • Story Development
  • Character Design
  • world background

Reviews2

LikedNewest
Dr_Zombie
Dr_ZombieLv13Dr_Zombie

Writing Style (2): Not really a fan of the style. Seems to be some kind of chat style? You are unable to tell whether the MC is talking, thinking or doing something. You should try the traditional approach of writing with speech marks and proper descriptions, etc. Stability of Updates (3): I'll default to three stars, as currently, you have just started out. So I can't really judge it. Story Development (2): Not much has happened so far, but there is no backstory either. You just jump the reader into the unknown. Other than the fact that we know he is going into a game world... Character Design (1): Pretty much non-existent. Main Character is just aptly named... Main Character... Needs more work. World Background (1): Non-Existent (See Story Development) Overall (1.8): Needs more work. Flesh out your characters, background, and also work on your writing style. Might turn out to be a good novel in the future, so I will keep an eye on it.

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Hoteno
HotenoLv3Hoteno

Writing is a blessing and reading is a bliss. You have been blessed, you have a story in mind and I can seem to understand a little bit of what you are trying to convey. The first and critical problem you have to solve is ENGLISH(grammar, how to write your thoughts into words). In any case, you should still write and continue. I can visualize your writing/story xD. The story itself is what the most matter 2nd is the writing. After you finished the story you can slowly work on how to make us readers clearly understand your World. Struggle to live and wish to always exist, treading between life and death will/can cause your breakthrough and one day will become Emperor of Novel xD. **: sorry for grammar and my english :P Notes : I think you should name your character : Introduce your character and imitate the other novels like *Thud* *Thud* "Where am i" _____(name) said. "WELCOME TO LIFE-A-DESTINY" .... : When the characters are talking always put apostrophe/quote("") : Also read novels of the same genre or with robotic/ai/system talking like World of the Magus World maybe it helps