Love Reasoning (2)
Book. Book. Book-- here it is.
From the top, I tilted the book downwards and pulled it out of the shelf. I never really mentioned this clearly but there's a large book shelf in my room. It's half-filled with books I brought from home.
The book I selected this time is about relationships. Not the 'how to make friends' kind of relationship book, but the 'opposite gender kind of relationship' book.
I've been thinking over what Liliath said this afternoon, and truthfully, it'll be up to Liliath. Unless she tells me her plan I don't know what I can do to tie a knot in our relationship. The conclusion I came to is this-- I'll continue to support her emotionally until she's comfortable to open up to me. Only then can we work out a solution.
Why can't she tell me of her plans? My thought is that it's something relatively dangerous. I have a clue about it but-- unless I ask Liliath, it's but a guess at this point.
Damn.. my TALENT just keeps coming up with these stupid drama and plot twists in my life. Fuck. Whatever drama this is, there has to be a way to solve this situation.
So in short, I'm reviewing a relationship book to refresh myself on what I should do to support Liliath-- since male and female psychology are different to begin with.
The chief cause of dissatisfaction in marriage is the lack of understanding between the opposite sex. This is my opinion so take it with a pinch of salt but I like getting into a marital relationship with driving.
Okay— let me explain.
You don't drive without learning the ropes, yet quite a number of people enter relationships without knowing a thing about it, especially young teens. Doing so is suicide. So to learn how to drive, read the instruction manual— but that itself isn't all that comprehensive so it's more common to hire an instructor as a guide. This would be equivalent to attending relationship seminars, a different depth of learning.
There's also other factors to relationships including personal values, compatibility and family situations, but it's best to control those within our control and shrug and accept things that we have no choice but to accept at times.
I took a seat on my chair and started reading-- jotting down notes in my journal while doing so.
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"Yes? What's this about Liliath?" Prune, whom I invited into my room, closed the door behind her.
"Take a seat first.. I'd like to discuss something with you."
The atmosphere was somnolent, rain continued to pour outside. The light steam wafting from the two cups of tea placed in front of me.
"A serious conversation? About what?"
Prune took a seat on the pillow-- no, she sat on the floor and instead hugged he pillow on her lap.
"Is this tea for me? Thank you."
Nodding to her question, Prune took a sip.
"So what is it?" her fluffy ears perked up in preparation to catch my words.
"It's about Noel," I glanced to the direction where Noel's presence was located. Nine was located further away and would probably continue to spend her time playing games.
"What about him?"
"It's about you and him.."
"Heh?" Prune looked at me stunned, which was within my expectations.
"I can't accept his feelings."
Prune took some distance from me.
"Why is that? Don't you like him?" Prune quivered as she spoke. Her body was tense.
"I do like him. However it's impossible for me to accept his feelings, that's why I want a compromise.."
"Liliath?"
"Ah.. sorry."
I quickly wiped the tears away from my face.
"Why? If you like him-- it's a no brainer. He'd surely accept you."
"Prune, you have to understand that I'm not human."
"I think I understand that-- so it's because you can't bear a child-- that's why? That's not an excuse!"
It was fortunate I prepared a barrier beforehand else her voice would have reached the other room. Her anger is proof of her confusion-- proof that she's trying to withhold herself from this opportunity.
"It's not that. I just can't."
I allowed my horns to show, Prune squirted her eyes and shrunk-- retreating to increase the distance between us.
"A demon lord is unable to marry anyone other than another demon lord. It's a fact I want Noel, I love Noel. But every part of me rejects him-- it's impossible."
--It's not impossible. All I have to do is try, isn't it?
A voice whispered in my head, I shook off the thought. It's too risky.
"Why me? This is between the two of you right?"
"You like Noel-- isn't that right?"
Prune stared at me with open eyes, after a few seconds she continued with--
"And so?"
"It is what you think. You understand it yourself."
"Even if I still like it, it isn't the same for him."
"That's not the case," I shook my head.
"What?"
"Noel harbours feelings for both of us. It's that simple."
"No it's not!" Prune face was flushed.
"It is. I understand there exists a difference in culture between our world however, I can tell that his situation is similar to how one starts accepting polygamy-- not that I plan for that."
"W-what?! NO, I'm not agreeing with that Liliath!"
"It's not about agreeing! Once Noel realizes no matter how he tries, there's nothing he can do about this situation, you're the one who he'll depend on next!"
I raised my voice again-- I couldn't help it due to my frustrations.
Prune should just accept Noel and become his official wife. I could play the role of the friend, it's enough Noel accepts me as a close accomplice. I understand that polygamy is illegal, but I could still play the role of supporting them from behind, the three of us would be together and happy without violating any legal laws of this world.
Before coming to know the intricacies of this world, I thought that Prune should accept her feelings for Noel and join me. She had been suppressing herself due to this strong cultural gripe.
I felt guilty when I learn of the issue regarding polygamy. I had thought that the heroes came from a world that supported monogamy while polygamy was considered possible but difficult.
"What's the Liliath specific quest for then?"
"Quests? Explain."
"Noel told me that you two do these flirty quests to get points. So what's all that for then? You can't accept Noel's feelings? You can't be together with Noel? What bullshit is that!" a fire in her eyes with tears condensed at the edges, "In the first place Noel's TALENT summoned you, so there's no way you'll not be his in the end. Trust that you will be together will Noel can't you? It's not about being realistic, Noel's TALENT bends rules and turns his life into a twisted story. Hasn't he told you that?"
"You're a part of that story too aren't you? Since he had already explained so much, it's very easy to see that he trusts you!"
"It's different.. I'm not related. You're the one part of his story-- not me. I'm just a supporting role in the first place."
"You are. I want you to be together with Noel, Prune.."
"It's not possible Liliath-- if in the end Noel finds a way to reach you, I'll only become another obstacle. Plus, I'm not willing to marry some with another wife. It would only breed a conflicting family."
"Noel is already on that road. His TALENT is one that has him build a large female following. It's inevitable."
"Then I won't.. I won't. Even if I like him."
Prune broke into tears, I could help but allow tears to fall too.
Why must this be so complicated?
Could I be together with Noel in the end? How? Didn't I want Noel to be mine alone? How did it come to this?
"Liliath, don't talk about these things again. Just focus on your relationship with Noel. Don't drag me into this," Prune said with red eyes.
"I only wanted to respect your feelings."
"It doesn't work like that in this world-- there are still many fishes out in the sea."
"But there is only one Noel."
"And that's exactly why I want to. Noel deserves you, not me. Just stop.."
Lightning crackled and the room plunged into darkness with the sound of something shutting down.
Prune screamed, I quickly lit up an orb of light.
"What situation is this?" I quickly went beside Prune who cast quick gazes all around the place, "Are you alright?"
"Y-yeah.. is this a power outage?"
"A power outage?"
Prune nodded and wiped away her tears.
"Liliath! Prune! Nine! Are you alright?" Noel's voice could be heard calling out from the outside.
"Liliath, one piece of advice. Don't ever tell Noel we talked about this," Prune said with a glare.
It was a similar glare to the one Noel showed me when I told him that he still fancies Prune.
I could only accept her words in confusion and frustration. This was meant for our happiness yet Prune couldn't seem to accept it. I couldn't seem to understand how what I proposed was wrong.
"I know you want to protect my feelings but-- worry about yourself more Liliath. I can deal with my feelings, alright?" Prune brought her hands atop my head and started stroking my hair.
"Understood," I gripped my fist in vexation. I promised to control myself, hence I should calm down and not do anything rash.
I find it hard to believe I made a mistake again-- it has become an inevitable part of me, isn't it?
"Liliath, do my eyes look red?"
To Prune's question I nodded.
"Noel will definitely notice something wrong," Prune muttered, "Then.. Can you help me with a little something?"