New Beginnings

'I'll step outside for a minute then.'

She talked inside my brain like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.

Once she got out, his entire body ripped apart and grew, it was incredibly traumatizing to witness as my brother's skin shredded and changed, his bones expanded and got thicker, sprouting hair and fur of deep crimson color.

What I felt deeply sinking was nothing other than betrayal.

I marched until I was right in front of him, I held him by his huge ears and bumped his forehead with mine as hard as I could. I looked deep into his blood-colored eyes showing him all my bottled-up anger, he returned my hostility showing me two large sharp fangs. It was funny how he still felt like my brother, even if he looked like a red demon out of somebody else's nightmare.

Wolves did not scare me.

Our father told us many stories about them, they were the most popular ones around our campfires.

I cursed under my breath pushing aside the thought that my late father had fooled me.

"How dare you hide this from me! Who the hell are you!... Who the hell am I!" I let go of his head and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt like I was about to explode.

"Show me how I can change too. I want to look like you,"

I had always wanted to look just like my father and Liam.

***

My brother and I rode Alaska Highway next to each other on our motorcycles. It was a 2,800-mile ride on paved roads that started in Portland, Oregon through western Canada. A much-needed 11-day trip that we agreed on having after our parents' funeral.

Our destination was Anchorage, Alaska's largest city, located in the south-central part of the state on the Cook Inlet, where the summers were cool, and the winters were long, freezing, and snowy. Winters were the main force that drove our parents away from the coldest state in the U.S. after they eloped when they were only eighteen.

Our parents used to drag us back there every other summer until my brother became a teenager, that is when the camping trips started and our quality time as a family won over the waves of homesickness that crashed down on our parents every now and then. I never imagined that the time we had with our parents was that limited, that these trips we had would turn into memories so soon.

I brought my attention back to the current moment, then lost myself in the exhilaration mixed with the fear making up for the pleasure that all bikers knew and loved.

Portland was our safe haven. Our comfort zone. There will never be a place like that for us anymore.

My brother passed me by but kept a close distance, he tapped twice on his helmet, which meant we were stopping soon.

.

.

.

"Theodor," my brother began after taking off his helmet. "We're almost there."

Liam and I looked nothing alike, we each took after a different parent. I envied his rough hair that he was able to grow to his shoulders, that, and his narrow green eyes. I always felt like I had two fathers with the amount of resemblance he had to dad, people always confused them for siblings on the road. I had my mother's doe-eyed look, her silky black hair that was too slippery for the best quality guy scrunchy out there so I had to keep mine short.

We only had each other now, so we decided to leave the house that had too many memories too afraid that if we stayed, these memories would turn into ghosts. He was going to enroll in UAA, short for the University of Alaska Anchorage, and work at the same time, while the less lucky me of course would have to enroll in the nearest high school to it. We agreed that we were going to take care of each other, However…

"Stop treating me like a child who needs a bathroom break while I am enjoying the ride, Li," I was glad we finally stopped. I was starting to feel pretty much numb down there.

"Just go to the bathroom, Theo."

"I won't."

"I'll go first then, and you can go after I return," he didn't buy it. "You can't continue the rest of the ride on a full bladder — I'll be right back."

My brother was the only guy alive that spoke about my full bladder and lived to see the sun of another day.

"Yeah whatever," I finally gave in. "Hurry up now, Li."

He gave me his million-dollar smile that was never the same after that funeral day and then threw his helmet at me, I caught it easily. Having been the quarterback of my high school football team and all.

Liam had been trying his best not to show how shaken he really was. He seemed cool-headed and composed when we sold the house we grew up in and the car that mom had bought recently, saying how it was time to put the motorcycle away...

On the surface, he did have the manly features, but just like his looks, his insides took after dad's as well. He was the softy between us, acting all big brotherly for my sake when he really should not be pushing it. He might be shedding a few tears even as I stand here guarding the gear.

It was hard to get Liam to open up about his wounds. We both preferred actions over words, and what can children say in the face of such tragedy?

If he did open up to me, maybe we would risk this peace we both found in running away from everything, leaving our happiness behind, and searching for a place where it would just be okay to breathe in a world where they did not exist anymore — like our parents before us, we were determined to start anew regardless of the price.

***

When we arrived in Anchorage, it was snowing. No shock there — just the city being all predictable. We both agreed that the camping trips during the 144 sunny days in Portland were gone now.

My mother's best friend opened up her house to us. She was someone we only heard of from my mother's many childhood stories, but I felt as If I knew her already after meeting her briefly a few days before the funeral, she barged in and took over everything shooing us away for the most part... she reminded me too much of mom.

For that, I had mixed feelings when it came to Olivia.

Her husband was always absent, too busy with his career in tourism, he managed his own office providing a 'good living' for his wife and only daughter. Our goal was to rent a place and be out of her hair as soon as possible, we had the money to buy a house, but we both did not want to tie ourselves down to this place before we were sure it was where we wanted to stay.

Nothing limits your ability to relocate like a house of your own.

Olivia gave each of us a hug when we entered her cozy house, she was headed to the kitchen to serve us the great food that she went on and on about, proud that her little Sophie was the one to prepare it this evening.

"It's great to finally be with you again, boys," she said, her warm personality stung my insides. "You have lost weight since the last time I saw you. How was the garage sale?"

"It went just fine. We have more than enough cash on us now, Olivia." My brother called her by her first name naturally, while I got stuck not knowing if I should address her more formally being the younger one, or whether I should just follow Liam's approach to things and get it over with.

Our bags were already delivered here, I assumed they should be in the room where we were meant to stay. Most of our belongings were transferred into cash, we needed new clothes to withstand Alaska's weather anyhow. It made more sense to get everything we need after we arrive.

"I found a great house for you, it aced all my tests," she clapped her hands three times enthusiastically.

"Where is this house?" Liam was obviously uncomfortable because of the way he sounded "we wanted to check many places before we decide on the final one."

"Well, it's very close to your university, and it's owned by one of our old friends, he said if you liked the house, you don't need to make a down payment or pay the three-month insurance in advance."

"Who is the owner of the house, did we happen to see him the other day?"

"Oh yeah! The bald man who wore a brown suit, do you remember him?" While her description should pretty much have the man standing out in our memory, it didn't, at least not for me.

"No," Liam answered while I just shook my head.

"We used to be a trio back when we were young," Olivia implied.

That would be a good reason behind his excessive generosity. I would not have hesitated to support my best friend's children if I found them in a similar situation, but it didn't make the bad taste in my mouth go away.

"He runs a real-estate business," Olivia went on when she felt our reluctance, "he said it would just be as if he was renting it himself, he wouldn't have it any other way. Just like I wouldn't let you stay somewhere else other than here until you find a place of your own."

"How much a year is it?" I was just giving Liam a nudge in the right direction, if he wanted to object, money was the easiest point to start from.

"About that, He said he was okay with whatever amount you had placed in mind for the rental — it's fine if you decided on that later, honestly."

His offer was almost too good to be true, there had to be a catch somewhere, right? "How old is the house?" I took over the conversation but Li looked fine with that.

"He got it renovated not so long ago, as far as he had told me."

"Was there only one owner before him?"

"The location we're talking about is very close to hunting and fishing areas, so the answer to your question should be no. Many would have wanted to get their hands on that place, it would be best to ask him directly if that is a concern of yours," she sounded a bit offended.

"Ol — Aunt Olivia, Liam and I mean no disrespect, we appreciate everything you are trying to do for us. We're just trying to test the waters first and we wouldn't want to put you in an awkward position with your friend if it turned out to be unsuitable for us, we don't plan on spending money on fixing up an old house…"

"Is that what it's all about, honey, I would move there any day of any week myself! That place has a charm of its own I'm telling you."

"Thank you, Olivia, I would be happy to check it out with Theo tomorrow if that is okay with you. It would be amazing if we settled in before the semester progresses any further." Liam nodded to himself twice and had a very peaceful smile on his face.

How stressed exactly was this guy about the whole moving thing?

"You really went the extra mile for us both Aunt Olivia, I don't know what to say. We were not expecting to find the grounds already laid for us when we were just arriving here."

"Oh! You sweet thing. I will make sure you are comfortable here." Her cheeks got rosy all of a sudden and she clearly did not expect the compliment. Liam, exactly like dad before him, had issues when it comes to the whole please and thank you business, so I had to be the one covering that for him.

"Okay, alright, let's move over to the table now," she mumbled more to herself, she even fanned her cheeks unconsciously.

We waited by the table for Sophie to make an appearance, but when that never happened, her mother went up to check on her. She came down alone and asked us to start eating, Sophie suddenly felt under the weather. I found that hard to believe.

I hoped we didn't invade the girl's privacy and made her uncomfortable.

"Is Sophie okay without having dinner? Should I hop on the bike and get a doctor?" Liam was as uncomfortable about it as I was.

"Oh no honey, that's alright, her stomach is just not feeling well, it's probably the nerves from finally meeting Theo..."

*Thud!*

"Did something crash?" Liam half stood up when Olivia gestured for him to sit down.

"That was just the sound of the door! And Sophie just has the stomach flu! Finish what's on your plates now," she mumbled to herself again.

I suddenly lost my appetite.

The girl had followed me on social media for some time now, her mother said that she just wanted to get to know us from afar. Li was technologically challenged and had always avoided anything that wasted his time, so it ended up only being me and her.

Her profile picture was that of a cat, and her account was almost empty...

If it wasn't for her mother, I wouldn't think twice before blocking her.