CHAPTER 1 Childhood Days

Life has been good to me before reality wrapped my innocence. It was a great summers and winters of mementos, sometimes a fall and spring of experiences that shaped me into a person I am right this time.

Maybe there are some things to regret but for sure those had toughened the temperance and fortitude a person has to possess.

And I would never exchange those into something wouldn't make sense at the end of time.

I had and will believe that my histories never had been a waste to dump but pages of a book that are worthy to be read up to its last page, to where this opportunity to be born and to live would take me.

Back to the time where life seemed only a normal thing to deal with, where struggles and hindrances weren't gigantic and happiness were like flowers we could see to spaces around, that we could picked it easily like a stone in the river.

I have been mesmerized how everything flows.

The system world has were like an air to breathe in and sunshine to feel, it was just nothing but a great engulf of opportunities and what was need to do is to enjoy every existence of everything.

My childhood was like a mixture of chemicals.

It has a bit of complications but through my persistence in life as a strong individual, I had managed to make the solutions into something everyone used to adore and would benefit with.

Then, people around expected me to be on top.

Like a distinct but unique crop, I was assumed to bear something creamier than usual ones, where too much pressure was given and being enough would mean being ordinary among the chosen ones.

At the early age of my childhood, my mother left us for reasons I couldn't remember.

She wanted to end her marriage with my father. I couldn't find why, but I have recall at the back of my mind how she cried in despair, how she curses the situation.

And since then, I have seen how cruel reality was.

Perhaps I didn't felt how hard it was, but I had witnessed how universe play games in the four corners of our home, and use to shatter it like a fragile glass.

I was five years old, but I have said filthy and unpleasant words to the person who carried me for nine months.

It was because of my hatred to her for abandoning us. I have regretted it now but there's always a mocking in me how I have described her as someone who know nothing but to run away when everything gets tough.

I've called her coward and even brainwashed my brother how irresponsible she was.

I was too young then but many people said how mature I was at that age.

I have kept every happening I had, so when my mom came home after several months, I still have the burden of hating her.

But a mother is always a mother, even when we were parted for some times, she still care for us like water poured to a deserted terrain.

I started my study with weak feet, unable to walk far distances and thank God, I have her.

She was the one who would carry me to school, cheered me up and took care of me in every instance. Maybe that was her way of filling the empty parts I have when she left.

I was six when we started again.

Reconstructing the wrecked fortress and started creating another splendid moments for exemplary life. It was good though difficult oftentimes. I've started to know more about reasons I was oblivion to before.

Like financial hardships, something that has to do with the battle of survival, against emotional issues, unfortunate situation and so much more to mention.

I have been anticipated about schooling, about earning medals and be one of those that excel in class at seven. It was my greatest pursuit in life to become successful in everything I do, whether on woes or big ones.

At eight, I begin to involve myself with a little taste of infatuation, but it never had become the centre of me. I have attracted to one of our classmates who used to surpass me in academe, it was my standard before, that the one I should marry must be an erudite.

But I wasn't too captivated or amazed by the rhythm of my pounding heart because my priority at age nine was how to solve the never-ending fight of my parents.

Indeed, life isn't always what we dream it to be. There's always a bittersweet to whatever we desire.

And like a bolt from the blue, I was ten years old when my mother left again.

Escaping the harsh reality of living as family, she went to places I only have seen on TV.

It was hard but I never give the solitude a chance to devastate me. Even everything seems hard, I always keep myself compose, acting strong to show the world, nothing can take me down.

Some people see me as a happy-go-lucky person; they never knew the burden I was carrying.

I went through odd things, become someone like a sheep out from the sight of a pastor. I have been recorded as the head of cutting-classes club, known as the laziest person in the school and sometimes considered as brainy-idiot.

It was embarrassing but I am proud that amidst those, I have learned a lot.

Life isn't always at full support, to our dreams, to the situation, from the smallest speck to the greatest one that exist.

But when everything in my family went fine, despite from a little chances of misunderstanding, I have realized that life is never constant.

So when we were at the very pits of woes at the moment, never stop pleading to God, for in just a second you could find your way out.

And those terrible obstacles, miserable events, uncontrollable scenarios I have, made me to become someone who never gets tired of life. And when another phase had been unlocked, when pain becomes evident and more penetrative, I have known how to deal with dignity.

For the history I've got isn't just an ordinary past, it's a long duration of life's lesson to what's significant.