All I get is a STICK????

"Welcome human."

My eyes shoot open. I look around, expecting to be in my bedroom; instead, all that greets me is a thick dark fog that seems to be going on endless and a barren, cracked field under me. If I look closely, I can see the silhouette of a dead tree far away.

"Wh-where am I?" I manage to mutter out. Is this a prank? If it was then damn, I didn't know pranks could get this realistic.

"You have died and are now in the Heavenly Palace." A monotone voice played from nowhere in particular. It sounds so familiar yet so...not at the same time, as if it's a distant memory. I wonder where that's from...

But that's besides the point! I died! But how is that possible...I've always made sure to live my life as safe as possible...albeit I never followed through, like that time I tried wearing a snake as a scarf, or that time that I accidentally rolled down stairs after I tried going down using only the handles...actually I'm kinda surprised I didn't die sooner.

But now isn't the time for that. If I died, does this mean...could it be...? No way...am I...about to be an Isekai protagonist?!?

"As per the god of mischief's request, you will be sent to another world" came the reply, as if the voice read my mind. Yes! I was right! Finally! This is my debut! I knew all those years I spent reading web novels weren't useless!

But that raises the question. What's my cheat? Could it be a world travelling system? Could it be that I have infinite Mana? Or will I just be an unparalleled genius who can comprehend even the strongest of techniques in just a few hours? They mentioned the god of mischief...could it be related to that? Like a cloning ability or...

I could ponder on it for hours (and I would've) but then the figure continued. "To help you out, we will provide you with a special item."

Here it comes, here it comes! Too bad it's not a system or ability, but it's still a cheat!

"This item will be an unbreakable stick."

eh?

"Could you please repeat that? I think I didn't hear you properly." Dear god I hope I didn't hear you properly.

"The item that you get to help you out is an unbreakable stick."

O-oh...well if all I get is a stick, the world I'm being sent to must be an easy one...It's gonna be boring but it's better to be bored than being dead I guess, even if the line is very thin.

The being continued, shattering my hopes. "You will be sent to planet-5234. It is the only SSS-ranked planet in our current portion of the universe and one that even gods cannot survive. We wish you good luck."

WHAT? NO! HUH? WHAT'S THIS GOD THINKING?!?!?! HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE?

Wait. Calm down. There's no way this god just sent to my death for no reason, right? The being in front of me will probably have an answer for it! Perhaps it's like a guide! Please be something like that...

"If it's such a difficult world, how am I supposed to survive? There must be something like a shelter or something right?" I asking, hoping for even a tiny lifeline. I mean, these gods couldn't possibly be THAT cruel...

"No, there is no shelter or anything else to help you other than your stick. As for how to survive, the god of mischief has left you this letter." A purple envelope floats to me. Wait, if it's floating, could it be...MAGIC?!?!? Maybe I'll get some mana gathering technique in this envelope!

I open the envelope to find a single sheet of paper inside. Okay, so this isn't a whole guide to survive, but maybe it's a magic technique! But of course, as per usual, I'm wrong.

'Pro tip for survival: just survive lol'

Ohhhhhhhh! Of course, why didn't I think of that-NOT! You think this is a joke, huh god of mischief? News flash, THIS IS MY LIFE! MY LIFE!!! NOT SOME TOY!

"If you have no more questions, you will now be sent your new home." WAIT! I STILL HAVE THINGS I WANT TO DO, I CAN'T DIE YET! Well I guess I already died...BUT I CAN'T DIE AGAIN SO SOON!

"WAI-" I try to shout, but was interrupted by a flash of light that engulfs me. Before I knew it, everything fades to black.